The receptionist looked me up and down as though I were a speck of dirt.

  “And you are?”

  “Detective Sarah Marshall. Time Hopping division.”

  “Oh.” The woman’s face relaxed, as though my strange attire now made sense to her. “I’ll see if she’s available to see you.”

  I walked around the reception room, looking at the paintings and watching the uniformed cops come and go.

  That was never who I wanted to be. A patrol officer.

  I loved the laws that kept us all safe. I admired those who had discovered time hopping so we could have a better world.

  But the seams of the world around me were beginning to fray.

  The rights and wrongs had become far too gray.

  “She’ll see you now.”

  I swung around to see the receptionist holding open the door to the commissioner’s office.

  She was seeing me? Now? Wow... I was surprised.

  I’d come in full of optimism and ready to find my answers. But I’d expected to bump up against a brick wall. Be told to come back in a month. I was relieved that didn’t happen.

  I swallowed hard.

  On any other day, this would be an amazing moment for me.

  She was one of my heroes.

  A woman at the top of her game.

  But this wasn’t a normal day, so I pushed down my excitement and focused on why I was here.

  I stepped into a grand room, with a desk in the center, and a beautiful woman sitting behind it.

  She wore her perfectly tailored uniform, her hair upswept into a neat bun and her face wrinkled from her many years on the force.

  “Detective, please sit down and tell me how I can help you today.”

  I couldn’t help reaching out and shaking her hand, “I have to tell you what an honor it is to meet with you, Commissioner Monaghan.”

  She smiled cooly. “Thank you. Now, please.”

  We both sat and I got straight to the point. She didn’t look like someone whose time you should waste.

  “Commissioner Monaghan, I’m not sure if you’re aware my sister recently died under strange circumstances. It’s come to my attention that no one is investigating her death, despite how suspicious it is.”

  The commissioner smiled again, and ice crept along my spine.

  “Your sister’s death was a horrible tragedy, Detective. I am so sorry for your loss.”

  When she stopped and didn’t continue, I found myself staring at her for too long.

  Was that it?

  “Oh... yes. Thank you. But what can be done about reopening the case?”

  “I’m sorry, Detective, but there simply isn’t enough evidence to justify that. From what I understand, it was all very cut and dry.”

  I frowned.

  What would the commissioner know about my sister’s case?

  I didn’t even know any details. Not the where or how.

  How did she know enough to make a call like that?

  There must be hundreds of cases a day that came through the city.

  She was lying about something, I could tell.

  “Well, I’m sorry to say this Commissioner, but that is terrible police work. How can there be no evidence at all? Even in an accidental death, there’s a boat load of evidence. To say there is none shows how lazy everyone is being.”

  I knew I was out of line talking to this woman as I was, but there wasn’t any other way around it. She wasn’t telling me the truth, and I had to find a way to weasel it out of her.

  The commissioner suddenly sighed and started typing on her computer.

  “I didn’t want to tell you this, Sarah. You don’t mind that I call you Sarah?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t care what she called me. As long as she told me the truth.

  “What didn’t you want to tell me?”

  She pushed her monitor around so that I could see the screen from my side.

  “I’m sorry to tell you, that the police department essentially chose to drop the case because your sister was selling herself... for time shares.”

  I gasped. “No. Amanda would never do that.”

  Time shares were the abomination child of time hopping. And no self-respecting person would buy themselves more time unless they were doing something pretty bad with it.

  “We have evidence. The night she was killed, it was a sexual encounter gone wrong with a seller. No one wanted you to be embarrassed by your sister, so everyone lied to protect you. I’m sorry.”

  My brain was completely blank.

  I didn’t know what to think.

  But my gut told me this woman was covering something up. So I said the first thing that came into my head.

  “No. That has to be a lie. I don’t believe you.”

  The commissioner smiled and pressed a button on the computer screen, revealing security camera footage of my sister at the party.

  My heart cracked to see her alive and well. Sexy, beautiful, so vibrant.

  Then she was leaving with a guy... going down on him on a rooftop.

  I looked away.

  No, it couldn’t be.

  She wouldn’t do that. Not for time shares. Why would she? She was twenty-three years old!

  The commissioner turned the computer back to herself.

  “I’m so sorry, Detective. I know we all want to think the best of our friends and family, especially our family, but it’s not always the truth.”

  My heart dropped lower and lower, my stomach lurching with sickness.

  This can’t be so... and yet, it had to be.

  No. That video proved nothing other than the fact that my sister was having a fun, though rather loosely moral, night.

  There was no time shares exchanged, no proof that she’d spoken of. Though that was their conclusion.

  So what should I believe?

  I didn’t know, but I had to get out of here.

  I couldn’t breathe... couldn’t think.

  “Thank you, Commissioner Monaghan. I... Ah... Thank you.”

  I stumbled out of her office and managed to get out of the precinct and down the twenty or so stairs to ground level.

  I can’t say I didn’t almost fall, I did.

  I could barely see for the tears that threatened to fall.

  But I made it, and the crisp air around me helped me to breathe.

  If all of this was a lie, then it meant everything I’d learned with Geoff was for nothing.

  So, what was I going to do now?

  Chapter 9

  Somehow I made my way home, but I couldn’t stop crying.

  I sat on the floor in my tiny living room and sifted through Amanda’s things, the memories of our childhood playing in my mind.

  So many fights we’d had.

  So much laughter shared.

  She was a good person, I knew she was.

  The same way I knew I was a decent human being. It was in our hearts.

  That wasn’t something one could change.

  And I couldn’t believe my sister had been killed making some shady prostitute exchange on a roof in the city.

  I just couldn’t.

  I wouldn’t!

  I found myself putting on her clothes.

  Things that were so not me.

  So feminine and pink.

  Items I shouldn’t have kept, but couldn’t bring myself to throw away.

  But I didn’t care how bad they looked.

  I needed to feel close to her.

  Then I found a black dress that felt like silk beneath my fingers and smelled like my sister. I put it on and it hugged my curves like it had been made for me.

  I couldn’t find the will to take it off.

  There was only one thing to do at a time like this.

  And that was to drink.

  I stumbled down the stairs and walked along the street. I’d never noticed a single drinking hole within two blocks of my apartment, but that was probably because I didn’t really drink.

  Not anymore.

  But tonight, when I needed it the most, I was certain a bar would just jump up out of nowhere. My sister always said you couldn’t go half a block in this city without hitting a drunk.

  Music blared up ahead and I squinted to see flashing lights and gathered people that would surely lead me to a drinking establishment.

  I kept walking and soon found myself sitting on a stool at the bar, ordering a cocktail.

  “Vodka and cranberry, please.”

  The spirits burned in the nicest way. And it dulled some of the pain.

  So I ordered another.

  “Hello, sweetheart. Can I buy you your next one?” A guy slid up beside me on the vacant stool, and I gave him the best stony expression I had.

  He had slicked-back hair, and wore a suit.

  A suit!

  Like a woman like me would ever go for someone corporate.

  I’d rather a trash collector. At least they were honest.

  “Do I look like I can’t buy myself my own drinks?”

  He stood back up, his smile now barely visible on his freshly shaved face.

  “No... but...”

  “Fuck off.”

  I turned back to my drink and he faded away.

  And happily, the bartender continued to serve me what I needed. He’d obviously seen a broken heart before.

  I’d given him my credit card. A card I didn’t use for anything other than emergencies, and told him to keep them coming.

  The more I drank, the hazier everything around me became.

  I found a booth for myself and let my body relax against the cushions.

  I wasn’t sure which way was up, and which way was down now. My head was spinning. The lights in the room made my eyes hurt, so I shut them.

  But the vodka was nice.

  I couldn’t get my sister out of my head.

  All the good.

  And the not so good.

  Sure, Amanda had bounced from bad job to bad job. Stupid guy to stupid guy. But she was fun, and silly and fiercely loyal.

  You couldn’t hurt one of her friends without getting the full wrath that was my baby sister.

  I suppose that’s why it hurt so much when that loyalty wasn’t returned.

  Her friends had abandoned her so quickly.

  But could I blame them if she’d been doing something so morally reprehensible?

  Did it mean I didn’t know the real person that was my sister?

  I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything anymore.

  My phone beeped and I looked down at my cell, focusing on the small screen.

  It was a robo text. Those annoying communications from companies trying to scam unsuspecting people.

  Where was the line on privacy anymore?

  I opened the phone and went swiping, deleting anything that looked suspicious. Anything I hated, or annoyed me.

  Then my list of contacts rolled up and I put my finger on Geoff’s name.

  Stupid guy.

  I couldn’t believe he’d bailed on me today.

  Could it only be today? This morning that it had happened?

  I pressed his name too hard and the phone began to ring. I put the speaker up to my ear.

  Would he answer, was the question.

  “Hello?”

  Oh, now he wanted to talk, huh?

  Strange pleasure pulsed through me to hear his accented voice.

  “Geoff, Geoff, Geoff... how are you?”

  There was a pause and I strained to hear him over the music.

  “Sarah... do you know what time it is?”

  I shrugged, then realized he couldn’t see me.

  “Ah... nope. What time is it?”

  He sighed. Heavily. And loudly. “Where are you?”

  What did he care?

  “I don’t know. But you know what, Geoff?”

  “What?”

  I giggled, my inhibitions on the floor.

  Along with my heart, and my pride.

  I may as well tell him exactly what I thought.

  “You’re like... sooo cute! Such a hottie! Like... really hot! How did a man like you get so hot?”

  “Sarah...”

  “No. Stop! You don’t understand. Men like you, you know... brainy and stuff. Should not be so... muscly! You’re like this big man mountain that I just want to climb.”

  I grabbed the drink being handed to me by the nice bartender and giggled again.

  “My sister was right, Geoff. This feels so nice. Why don’t I drink like this more often? I mean... all your shit just floats away.”

  “What happened, Sarah?”

  I put my lips to the cocktail glass and swallowed the contents down, the tang of the lime making me wince.

  “What do you mean, what happened? You mean other than the day from hell?”

  He had to know that I’d go investigating what they’d told me?

  They’d raised questions he’d refused to answer.

  “Come on, Geoff!” He was smarter than that.

  “What happened, Sarah?” he asked again, his stupid, perfect control and patience back in place.

  And that made me incredibly angry.

  “Gah! Do you really want to know, Geoff? What happened to me? Today? Because you said you didn’t care!”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  Well if he wanted to be picky...

  “No! You just kicked me out of your place. That was so very rude, by the way.”

  I staggered to my feet and stumbled to the bar.

  I could barely walk.

  I’d probably had enough for now.

  And if I wanted to get my point across, I needed to at least be able to speak.

  “Hey! Can... you put my tab through, I think I’m done for the night.” I asked the bartender, who nodded and tapped on the credit machine in front of him.

  “Thanks!”

  I gripped the bar, my head spinning with the alcohol fog now.

  “Sarah!” Geoff was persistent in my ear now, but I couldn’t concentrate.

  “I’ve gotta sit down, the room’s spinning.”

  I staggered over to a corner near the front door with an empty couch.

  When my butt landed on a cushion, I sighed and hiccupped.

  “The room’s still spinning... how?”

  “Sarah, concentrate!” Geoff’s voice boomed in my ear.

  I pulled it away from my head and winced. “Okay, okay. You don’t need to yell.”

  I tried to listen again, but I couldn’t hear very well.

  “Sarah. I’m coming to get you. Where are you?”

  “I don’t know. Hey... where am I?” I grabbed for a guy who was walking past, who reminded me of Geoff... a bit.

  He was way too serious.

  He took the phone from me and gave Geoff the name and an address—I think. I couldn’t hear very well at the moment.

  He handed me back the phone and smiled at me.

  I gave him the thumbs up and a smile back.

  Geoff said, “Sarah. Stay there. I’m coming to get you, okay? Don’t move.”

  Why?

  Did it matter? Why not?

  “Okay. Okay.”

  I hung up on him and clung to the edge of the leather couch.

  The whole room was spinning, and I closed my eyes.

  My baby sister. My stupid, beautiful, baby sister.

  How did you stoop so low?

  I could have helped you if you needed the money. I would have given it to you if I knew what you were going to do if you didn’t have it.

  I promise, I would have.

  Then, suddenly, someone touched me. My hands, my face.

  And I wasn’t scared.

  I opened my eyes and Geoff was hovering over me.

  “Oh, Geoff!” The sob was out before I could stop myself.

  He lifted my arm up over his neck and swung me up into his arms.

  I didn’t fight him. I clung to him.

  My savior in the storm.

  “Thanks,” he said to someone as he walked me outside to his car.

  My head was swinging from side to side and my hair was in my mouth.

  I couldn’t keep my eyes open and I knew I was a wreck.

  Shame and embarrassment were close companions, though the alcohol kept them nicely at bay.

  But Geoff didn’t harass me or lecture. He looked after me. Buckled me into the car and then slowly drove me somewhere.

  Home, perhaps?

  “Where are we going?” I managed to ask, checking my body for my keys and my credit card. Yep... still had both.

  “We’ll go back to my place.”

  I didn’t know where that was and I didn’t care. “Okay.”

  Then the pain started again. Just hearing his voice. It brought it all back. Too quickly for me to cope with.

  I sobbed as I struggled to breathe through my nose.

  “They said she died whoring herself for time shares.”

  I sobbed again and put a hand to my mouth to stifle the noise.

  There was silence in the car and I turned with blurry eyes to my driver.

  “Can you believe that, Geoff? Here I was, willing to lose my job, risk jail... to save her... when all she was doing was... was...” I couldn’t even say it.

  Not again.

  Geoff’s hand slid over to my leg, squeezing it tightly in a show of sympathy.

  I grabbed his hand and held on the whole drive home. Like an anchor in a storm, I needed something stable to hold onto.

  He parked underground in an unfamiliar garage and came around to my door and pulled me out of the car.

  He didn’t pick me up again, but instead let me kind of stagger to the door he indicated and got me inside.

  “Come on, Sarah. This way.”

  His voice as kind as he put a hand around my waist and drew me into a bedroom of sorts.

  I didn’t care where I was, as long as I could lie down.

  I staggered to the bed and fell onto it. I still felt like I was on a ship, the whole world rocking around me, but the mattress beneath me was solid. And the air around me clean.

  My ears rang from the loud noise of the bar but I still heard Geoff laugh at me, I think, as he pulled my shoes off.

  I rolled onto my back and the ceiling danced in front of my eyes.

  I swallowed the acid bile that rose in my throat and closed my eyes again. It was so not worth being awake at this point.

  “I’ll leave you...”

  Panic filled me up.

  My anchor couldn’t leave me. I’d drown. I knew I would.

 

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