Honeymooning With the Enemy, page 12
My phone vibrates.
Tanner: I don’t think you realize how special you are
I frown at the screen.
Storm: Is that a secret, or a misguided observation?
Tanner: I mean it. You like to keep to yourself, and that’s cool. But I hope you know how awesome you are
I roll my eyes.
Storm: Please. I bet you only noticed me once I started hanging out with Bianca
It was impossible not to notice Bianca. From her bouncy blonde curls to her dazzling smile, she was like sunshine wherever she went. Her personality was big and vibrant to match, outspoken and bold, but also fun and friendly. She was larger than life, and it never made sense that she wanted me to be her best friend, but here we are.
Tanner: That’s not true
My heart picks up the pace as I watch the little typing dots appear again.
Tanner: I knew you were friends with Bianca, but that’s not when I started noticing you. I saw you under that tree by the baseball field. You were working with threads, doing something in your lap. That’s when I noticed you
I laugh from my nose.
Storm: You noticed me when I was doing macramé? Why? Because you wanted to learn?
Tanner: Is that what it’s called? LOL, no. I noticed you because I’d never seen someone so focused on a project before, so fixated. I’ve never been passionate enough about anything in my life to inspire that kind of concentration. When I saw you staring down at your lap, your fingers moving like they were on fast forward, I knew I had to meet you
I smile, reading and rereading the message again. He noticed me doing my crafts? Why does that make my hairs stand on their ends?
I’m not an extraverted person, not like Bianca. I’ve never been comfortable putting myself out there, and I’m not sure people would care if I did. So instead, I go inward. This is where I can be myself. This is where I’m comfortable, where I know who I am.
I look up at the walls of my bedroom, photos and different mementos stuck to the paint with mounting putty. We’ve never stayed anywhere long enough for me to decorate, to take photos with friends and print them out. Hell, we’ve never stayed anywhere long enough for me to make friends in the first place.
Bringing my phone up, my thumbs dance over the keypad.
Storm: Can I tell you a secret?
Tanner: Shoot
I bite on my lip.
Storm: I’ve always sort of felt like a ghost… moving schools every few months, I’ve never been able to find my place. It’s like I’m here, but I’m not really here. No one ever really sees me…
I look up at the photos of me and Bianca on the wall; us at the mall, us at the local diner, us after Bianca gave me a ‘rom com movie makeover’. A smile finds my lips.
Storm: Except after I met Bianca. It changed when I met her… she made me feel like I belonged somewhere, like I mattered…
Bianca’s face grins back at me from the photo of her and my mom, the night we made tacos together.
Storm: She’s the one who convinced my mom to stay long enough for me to see out the senior year. She’s the reason I finally have a place here. Isn’t that wild? A seventeen-year-old having that much influence over a forty-year-old? She’s the special one. Maybe some of that has just rubbed off on me
I exhale out of my mouth, lighter from getting all that off my chest. But as every minute ticks by that Tanner doesn’t respond, I question if I over shared. What does he care about my friendship with Bianca? Ugh, I’ve probably made myself look like an idiot.
The little dots appear on the screen and I hold my breath.
Tanner: I’m glad you finally feel at home somewhere. It must have been hard, getting moved around so much. I can understand why you’ve always felt disconnected from everyone
I breathe a sigh of relief. Haven’t spooked him off just yet.
The dots appear again.
Tanner: But for the record, I’m sure Bianca is great, but your specialness has nothing to do with her. And I can say with absolute certainty, you’ve always mattered
More dots.
Tanner: You matter to me
The butterflies come hard and fast.
“What’s going on with you?” Bianca asks, staring at me over her phone.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been getting that cringey smile on your face for days every time you look at your phone. Who are you talking to?”
I put my phone to the side and move back to the textbooks we’re meant to be studying on my bedroom floor. “I’m not texting anyone. My cousin always sends stupid memes.”
Bianca pulls a face. “Girl, I’ve been sexting since I was old enough to have my own cellphone. I know meme face, and this isn’t meme face. This is boy crush face. This is sexting face.”
“Sexting face?” I scrunch my nose. “Whatever that is, I wasn’t doing that.”
“Oh really?”
Bianca makes a buzzing sound and picks up her phone, looking delightfully surprised and then biting her lip with an exaggerated grin, mocking me.
“Okay, I was not making that face.”
“You were totally making that face,” she says. “And what the hell? You’re texting with some dude and you haven’t told your best friend about him?”
As soon as she pulls the BF card, I feel a twang of guilt in my stomach. Why have I kept this thing with Tanner secret for so long? I mean… it can’t go on like this forever. Especially if one day Tanner and me take this beyond emojis and date out in the real world.
The thing is… my secret texts with Tanner feel more like the real world than the real world does.
Bianca stares at me expectantly, and I let out a deep breath. “Fine. But if I tell you, you have to keep your shit together.”
She scurries into a cross-legged position on my fuzzy carpet, waiting with an excited grin.
“So… I’ve been texting a guy from school for a few weeks now…”
“A few weeks?” Her grin expands. “Oh my God, who?”
I press my lips to stop myself from smiling like an idiot. “Um… Tanner Jonas.”
Bianca’s expression moves from delight to dumbfounded. “Tanner Jonas.”
“Yes.”
“You’ve been texting Tanner Jonas for weeks.”
“Yes.”
“As in quarterback Tanner Jonas.”
I laugh. “How many Tanner Jonas’s do you know?”
She just stares at me, her mouth wide enough to catch several insects.
“So… are you going to say something?”
“Oh… my… God.” She watches me with drawn eyebrows like I’ve just started speaking a foreign language. “How? How did this happen?”
I fill her in on his Facebook request during detention, and how he’d noticed me around school. And then how we’d just slipped into this secret texting relationship, and how it felt like it was getting more serious… ready to take out into the open.
“It sounds crazy, I know,” I say. “I’m talking about him like he’s my boyfriend when I’ve barely had an in-person conversation with him, let alone kissed him.”
“And you’re sure it’s reciprocated? It’s not just a… friendship thing for him?” she asks.
I shrug, showing her a couple of key messages to answer her question. She just gawks at them. I’ve never seen her more lost for words.
After a couple of minutes, she seems to pull her thoughts together. “So, what are you going to do about it then?”
I bring my eyebrows together. “What do you mean?”
“Well this is Tanner we’re talking about, the most popular guy in school. A hundred girls would kill to be his girlfriend, yet you’re the one with the all-access pass.”
I snort. “He’s not a ride at Disneyland.”
“You can’t waste this opportunity, Storm. I’m telling you this as your best friend. You need to act, fast.” She sits upright, a sense of urgency in her eyes.
“What do you mean? I am acting. We’re talking… getting to know each other.”
“And how long until he gets bored of that?” She tilts her head to the side. “I know you haven’t had much experience with guys, but I have. You need to strike while the iron is hot.”
“What are you even talking about?”
“You need to let him know you want to be more than friends. That you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level.” She pouts her lips, eyes dropping to the ground while she thinks, and then they’re back on me. “You need to send him a nude.”
“A what?”
Bianca rolls her eyes. “Okay, I know you’re new to all this, but you have to know what a nude is.”
“Yes, I know what a nude is,” I say, clamping my eyes shut. “I just don’t know why you think I’d actually send one to him.”
“Because you’re going to get yourself stuck in the friend zone! Trust me, I know how these things work.”
I stare at the carpet, scrunching my forehead. The friend zone? I don’t want to be there. I like Tanner… I really like Tanner. Is she serious? Could this all end up being platonic unless I do something about it?
Bianca places her hand over my ankle. “You don’t have to look so fucking panicked. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Just lie back on your bed… get the right angle…” She poses on the floor and I snort, throwing a pillow at her.
“I’m serious!” She laughs, throwing it back. “Would I ever lead you astray?”
“I’m just not sure it’s a good idea,” I say, shaking my head.
It’s not a good idea.
Right?
Bianca sighs, her eyebrows high in a don’t say I didn’t warn you manner.
“Hey, I’m trying to help you.” She sits upright, finally pulling a textbook from her bag. “Just don’t be surprised if one day he’s telling you all about some cute girl he met at the juice bar.”
As she starts flicking through the book, I stare down at my phone.
16
Tanner
The rest of the day in the Dominican Republic went by in a flash, punctuated by Storm trying to embarrass me every chance she got.
“Oh no, Nigel can’t eat almonds. They give him night terrors.”
And naturally, I dished it back with every opportunity.
“Storm, honey, are you sure you want to hike? You have that nail fungus situation…”
Before we departed the cable car, I was certain the group we met onboard would be desperate to lose us. But to my surprise, Avery turned to us as we disembarked and asked if we wanted to see the monkey jungle. When I saw the glint in Storm’s eye at the word monkey, there was no way I was turning down the offer.
The jungle didn’t disappoint either. The second we got into the enclosure, the tiny spider monkeys began climbing on us in search of food. Storm squeaked with glee as one climbed onto her head, and I was quick to whip out my phone and take a photo. Evie looked like she was going to pass out from excitement, while Avery decided to give them all names.
That one is definitely Terry. He just looks like a Terry.
The guys loved it, too. Even Adam the Grouch (Avery’s name for him, not mine) couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as the smallest monkey climbed into his food bowl, curling up and blinking at him sweetly.
After that we all took a ride on the zip line (fucking awesome), and by the time we got back to the shops, it was five o’clock and people were boarding the ship.
Our new friends tell us they’re going to chill for an hour and then meet up for dinner if we want to come, which me and Storm happily accept. They’re a cool group of people, and I know Storm wants to keep chewing their ears off about working in the Hollywood film industry, where they all have jobs.
Back in our suite, we shower and change out of our jungle clothes, and I’m sitting on the couch when Storm emerges from the bathroom wearing a floaty white dress that hangs off her shoulders. Her skin is already sun kissed from a few days in the Caribbean, and her face looks dewy and flushed from the hot shower. I’m still staring when her eyes find mine.
“Um…” I clear my throat. “Feel like a drink before we meet up with the others?” I ask, standing up and smoothing down my white shorts.
She stares at my chest and shakes her head. “You’ve earned a beverage just for wearing that shirt.”
I look down. “What’s wrong with my shirt?”
“There are dolphins on it.”
“What’s wrong with dolphins?” I tilt my head, baiting her. She just snorts and walks toward the door.
“Okay. You’re buying.”
We head to The Deck, an outside bar with tables and chairs right next to the handrail. The sun is dipping lower in the sky as we pick a spot, making quick work of the menu and selecting the most elaborate sounding cocktails from the options.
When the server returns with our drinks, Storm looks all too happy with mine. As it turns out, the Harvey Banana Banger comes in a tall glass, with a whole banana emerging from the center between two melon balls. I lick my lips with extra enthusiasm and sip through the novelty straw.
“It takes a very secure man to drink penis-shaped cocktails wearing a dolphin shirt,” she says, sipping her Pina Colada.
“I know there’s mockery in there, but I’m choosing to take that as a compliment.”
I take another exaggerated slurp and Storm presses her lips into a smile.
Salty sea breeze ripples over us, sending Storm’s hair flicking over her shoulders. She’s stopped using her heat wand thing, instead letting her hair dry naturally, and it kisses her collarbones in beachy waves. This place suits her.
As she leans back and stares out at the ocean, I replay my favorite parts of the day in my head. Storm’s smirk as she made fun of me in the cable car, the noise she made as the monkey climbed on her head, the way her eyes grew wide with wonder as she flew down the zip line…
I can’t remember the last time I felt this happy, this much like myself. My mind goes back to the conversation I had with Tobin, when he said I’d been off lately… lost my cheery nature. Here on this ridiculous cruise ruse, I feel more like my old self than ever, and I wonder how much that has to do with floating around in the Caribbean, and how much it has to do with the woman sitting across from me.
I stir the contents of my glass with the straw, watching the melon balls bob on the surface. It’s practically pornographic, but it’s fucking delicious.
Another thought crosses my mind, and the smile wavers on my face. It’s something I’ve been pushing aside all day, every time it pops up when I’m enjoying myself, trying to ruin the moment. It’s the thought that even though me and Storm seem to be friends again, it’s still only surface-level bonding. I miss what we had as teenagers. I miss the Storm who wasn’t afraid to make herself vulnerable… raw… uninhibited toward me. Sure, this whole silly act has been a laugh, but it’s not real. We’re not the same people we were in high school, trusting each other with our deepest secrets… confiding thoughts we’ve never shared with anyone else.
And we’ll never have that again, because of what happened ten years ago.
As I stare at the tiny umbrella, it becomes painfully clear. Tobin was right: I have feelings for Storm, even after all this time. This isn’t pretending for me. And If I want even a shot at what we used to have, I have to tell her the truth.
Well… at least part of it.
I take a large sip of my cocktail, wishing there was more rum than banana juice.
“Okay, I know we agreed not to talk about it, but permission to bench the rules for five minutes?”
It’s obvious Storm knows what I’m talking about by the look on her face. “You were the one who made the rules, as a condition of coming on the cruise with me.”
“I know, and as the initiator of the rules, I’m… uninitiating them.”
“Fairly certain that’s not a word, but okay.”
I breathe in the salty sea air, hoping it will fill me with courage, rather than the sick, anxious feeling I currently have in my gut.
“I know you hated me for what happened,” I say, starting with the obvious. “And to be honest, I didn’t blame you. Everything got messed up… with the photo—”
“Yes, I know what you’re talking about, you don’t need to go into detail.”
I press my lips into a line. That same look has taken over her face… that guarded expression she’s worn for me ever since the day everything turned to shit.
“I know why you hated me and never wanted to speak to me again. But there was more to it you didn’t know, that you maybe still don’t know…”
Her lips stay glued together, but a curiosity glints in her eyes, and it’s obvious she’s still in the dark. Here it goes.
“My friends got hold of the photo, you know that already. But I never got the chance to tell you I never gave it to them.”
Storm rolls her eyes. “Right. Because a very private, very intimate image that was sent to you magically ended up in the hands of the football team, and you had nothing to do with it?” She bunches her forehead, fresh anger in her eyes. “How stupid do you think I am, Tanner?”
“It’s true. They took my phone after football practice and stole the photo.”
“Do you seriously expect me to believe they just happened upon a naked photo of me, without any input from you?” She balks.
“It sounds like a stretch, but that’s what happened. I had to stay behind and talk to the coach, and when I came back into the locker rooms, the boys had my phone.” I glower at my cocktail. “Fucking Ashton… he was always a nosey little prick.”
