The Sloth Zone, page 16
“Tim, no, it’s not like that at all.” She started to get out of her seat, but her seat belt kept her firmly in place. She frantically scrambled to locate the release button.
“Was I only meant to be your fallback guy?” He chucked the food bag onto the seat. “You know what, don’t answer that. I don’t even want to know. I thought this time would be different, but clearly, I was wrong.” He started to walk away.
Gemma’s own level of frustration was growing. How could he think such a thing? Doesn’t he put enough faith in me to know that I care about him too much to hurt him? He hasn’t even given me a chance to explain things to him.
Finally freeing herself, she threw her door open and jumped down, ignoring the discomfort riding up her hip. She limped after him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Tim, I’d never do that to you. You’re supposed to know me better than that.”
“That’s the problem, Gemma.” He looked her up and down. “I don’t know you as well as I thought I did. I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Then maybe I was wrong about you too. Instead of letting me rationally explain things to you, you’re choosing to assume the worst about me.” She took a step back. Anger beginning to flood her system. “Just for the record, I told the Cupid’s Arrow guy that I’d met someone special and that I didn’t want anything to do with them.” Her throat constricted. “Does that sound like something a woman who saw you as a fallback guy would do?”
His eyes widened, yet he remained silent.
Gemma had her answer. He still didn’t trust her. Her heart was breaking. Cupid’s arrow had missed its mark, and its sharp tip had embedded itself in her body. She dropped her head. “Were you ever going to tell me that you’d been offered the Sloths’ manager position?”
“What—where did you hear that?”
“It doesn’t matter. Is it true?”
“Yes.”
“And are you going to accept it?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” His voice was raw and strained. “I haven’t had enough time to think about it.”
“But you didn’t think that I deserved to know?” The corners of her eyes were moist. A few tears threatened to fall.
“No . . . I . . . I . . .”
She sniffled. “I’m not the only one who was keeping things hidden.”
“But this is completely different.”
“How is it different?”
“Mike only offered me the job as I was leaving the stadium. You’ve known for weeks.” Tim glared at her. “Unlike you, I would’ve discussed it with you soon.”
“Would you have?” The tears were now free-falling. She swallowed the thick, salty droplets. “Did you not tell me just last week that you didn’t ever involve your friends or family when you make important decisions?”
“Damn it, Gemma, what do you think?” Tim’s lips quivered. His brow furrowed again, and he threw his hands wildly into the air. “Of course I would’ve talked things over with you. You matter. We matter. I don’t make decisions that are going to affect both our lives lightly.”
“I don’t know what I think anymore!” she cried. “You know, our problem isn’t that we don’t understand one another. It’s that we’re too much alike.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that we’re the opposite of opposites attract.” Her vision was getting fuzzy, obscured by tears. Nothing made sense to her anymore. “That means we’ll never work out. We might as well save ourselves the effort and call it quits now. You were ready to just walk away from me earlier. Well, I’ll make it easy for you . . . go ahead. I can’t be with a person who doesn’t believe me or trust me.”
She turned and limped back toward the car, refusing to look back at Tim.
Chapter 20
Gemma slid into the car and slammed the door shut. She covered her face with her hands, her body wracked with sobs. Her heart was shattered into a billion tiny shards. Why was the world such a horrid, cruel place? Everything she thought she knew was a lie.
I never want to ever hear or see anything about Cupid’s Arrow ever again. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t ever want anything to do with men or dating ever again either. All it leads to is pain and heartbreak. I’m better off alone. I can’t trust anyone.
When she’d met Tim, she’d felt so giddy and full of hope. She’d thought that maybe he was the one. He’d treated her like a real-life princess. Memories of carving a pumpkin, seeing his haunted classroom, dinner at the Lucky Dog, and standing in his arms watching the thousands of butterflies take flight flooded her mind.
Our first kiss inside the forest, I felt like I was floating, just like the end scene of Sleeping Beauty when Aurora and Prince Phillip are dancing in the clouds together. Where did it all go so wrong?
She cried harder until there were no more tears remaining. Using the back of her hoodie’s sleeve, she dried her eyes. Her face felt like someone had taken a sheet of sandpaper and rubbed it raw. Everything was dry and swollen. She hugged herself.
The last time my relationship failed, it was because I wasn’t giving enough of myself to it. Have I made the same mistake? I’ve been trying so hard to do small things for Tim to show him how much I care.
She sat taller in her seat. What had Tim said to her again? She closed her eyes and replayed their fight in her mind.
“And now you’re going to dump me . . .”
“I thought this time would be different . . .”
“Have I always been the fallback guy?”
“I don’t know if I can trust you . . .”
Tim was so angry and sad. It was almost as if he were haunted by something. What happened to make him react like that?
As she continued to relive their late-night conversations and video chats with one another, she was struck with a sudden realization—Tim had never once shared anything about his own past relationships.
Her thoughts were interrupted when the driver’s side door opened, and a gust of chilly air filled the car. A paper bag crinkled, and she felt the weight of something warm sitting on her knees.
“Gemma, I know I’m probably the last person on Earth you want to see . . .” Tim’s voice came out as a hoarse whisper. “But I wanted to make sure that, one, you got something to eat; two, your hip was okay; and three, I needed you to know that I’ll give you as much space as you want, but I refuse to let you go without a fight. Giving up is not a word in my vocabulary.”
She glanced down at the bag, then slowly lifted her chin to meet his gaze. The look of fear from earlier was gone, replaced by the glint of stubbornness and determination. It was a look she knew well. It was one that she saw every day when she studied herself in the mirror.
“You were right about everything. I’m so sorry for the way I treated you and if I hurt you in any way. I’ve never been more ashamed of myself for losing control over my emotions like that.” He took a deep breath. “Anyway, the tow truck driver just texted to let me know he’s almost here. We’ll be able to get out of here soon.”
Gemma’s pulse increased. Her hands closed around the top of the bag, and she clutched it close to her chest as if it were a lifeline. She wasn’t ready to say anything more to him yet. Her emotions were still running high.
“Thanks,” she managed.
He nodded and closed the door.
He needs some space too.
Gemma opened the bag, pulled out a still-lukewarm taco, and began to eat. Food had never been more welcome or tasted so good. The spices washed over her taste buds. In an instant, it was gone, and she was on to the next taco.
Maybe I was too quick to jump to conclusions. Maybe there is still hope for us to be together.
* * *
It was close to midnight when Gemma and Tim arrived back within the town limits of Sequoia Valley.
“Gemma, where do you want me to take you? Charlie’s cabin?”
She lifted her head from the window and scrubbed the sleepy sand from her eyes. “We’re back in town?”
“Yeah, we are.”
She’d been asleep for more than three hours. The last thing she remembered seeing was the sign leaving Fresno’s city limits.
“What other options do we have?”
Tim stopped the car at the red light and glanced to his right. “Um, that depends . . .”
“On?”
“If you’re too tired and want to get right to bed, or if you might be willing to talk.”
The light changed to green, but Tim didn’t move. There were no other cars around. The town was deserted and dark except for the few gas lamps lining the downtown open-air farmer’s market.
“I’ve napped the whole way back. I’m wide awake, but if you’re too tired to talk, we can wait until morning.”
Tim gripped the steering wheel tightly. “I am tired, but if we wait until morning, I probably won’t get any sleep.”
“Then we should find a place to talk.”
He blinked slowly. “Are you in the mood for a milkshake?”
“Only if it’s chocolate.”
His lips twitched. “Then we’ll head to the Lucky Dog.”
“Is it still open this late?”
“Not to the public.”
Returning his attention to the road, Tim waited for the light to turn green once more, then turned left onto the town’s main road.
“I don’t understand.”
“I have keys to the place.”
“And the owners don’t mind?”
“No.” He entered the car park and pulled into the closest spot by the doors. “I’m an investor.”
“Oh.”
When they arrived, Tim unlocked the building, then entered and tapped on the nearest light switch. The hum of electricity filled the building. “Where would you like to sit? A booth? The counter? The kitchen?”
Gemma’s eyes swept the room. “The counter.”
“Good choice. That’s the closet spot to the milkshake machine.”
Sitting on the padded stool, she rested her head on her elbows and watched as Tim expertly turned on the machine and pulled a few different levers to mix the ice cream. She tried to keep the conversation neutral and flowing. “How did you end up becoming an investor? Isn’t this a family-run business?”
“A couple years ago, the roof on the building needed an emergency repair. Sequoia Valley is a small town. It didn’t take long for word to spread that the owners didn’t have enough cash to cover everything. So I jumped in and offered to foot the entire cost of the repair bill in exchange for a ten-percent stake.”
“They didn’t mind that you aren’t family?”
“Technically speaking, I am related to the owners through my mom. She’s a third or fourth cousin.”
“That was kind of you.”
Locating a glass, Tim held it under the spout and began to fill it. “This place is special to my family. I had the money, so why not help if I had the means to?” He placed the cup on the counter in front of her. “One chocolate milkshake.”
“Are you going to have a vanilla one?”
“I am.”
As Tim started crafting his own drink, Gemma took a sip of her beverage. She wasn’t sure what to say next. Things felt awkward. She had no idea where they stood.
Do I just jump right in and ask him things directly? Should I continue to make small talk? Or is it better to stay quiet and let Tim handle the conversation?
Filling a glass with the thick vanilla ice malt, he walked around the counter and sat on the stool facing her. “Gemma . . .”
“Tim . . .”
A moment of silence passed.
“I—no, go ahead.” They both spoke at the same time.
Tim held out his hand and gestured for Gemma to speak. “I was going to say that this conversation is going to be awkward no matter what we do,” she said. “I’ve sat here for the past couple minutes trying to figure out how to start or where to start.”
“That’s how I’m feeling too.” He gripped the milkshake glass tightly. “So how about if I go first and offer you another apology. I’m sorry, Gemma. I wasn’t myself tonight. I lost control and I took it out on you. I never wanted to hurt your feelings or ruin our relationship.”
“Apology accepted. Emotions were running high for both of us. I made a mistake too, and for that I also owe you an apology. I should have come clean with you about Cupid’s Arrow from the beginning.”
“Why did you even apply for the show?”
“Because it was a bucket-list item? Because I was tired of not being able to find the right bloke to date? I wanted to have what all my friends around me have—a loving relationship.” Gemma drummed her fingers against the counter. “It seemed like the perfect solution at the time. I love—well, used to love the show.”
“What happened?” Tim frowned.
“Talking with the casting director today made me realize that the entire production is fabricated. The point of the program isn’t for people on the show to find love. It’s about entertaining the viewers and making money.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, Gem.”
“It doesn’t matter now. I told the casting director that I’d met someone special and wanted nothing to do with them, but the bloke didn’t get it. He tried to change my mind by telling me that if I wanted you to be a contestant on the show, he’d pull some strings and make it happen.”
“What?”
Gemma took a sip of her milkshake and nodded. “I told him I didn’t want you involved in it. That’s when you found me in the car.”
“I can’t believe how low these creeps can go.” Tim face-palmed. “If only I’d listened earlier, you could’ve told me all this and we could’ve avoided the fireworks display.” His shoulders sagged. “Instead, I assumed you wanted to go on the show because you hoped to replace me with a better guy.”
“Tim, I need you to know that in the last few weeks, I’ve never been happier.” Gemma reached out and placed a hand on his knee. “You make me feel so special. You’re not just my boyfriend, but you’re a true friend too . . . Don’t tell Frankie I said this, but you’ve kind of replaced her as being my person.”
“Your person?”
“Uh-huh. You’re the one person I can depend on through thick and thin. Good times and bad. You’re the first person I call if I need advice, to vent, or if I need comfort. Talking to you is my reward at the end of a hard day.”
His throat constricted and he squeezed her hand back. “You know what? You’re my person too.”
“Tim, it hurts me to think that you believed I’d toss you aside. I’ve done my best these past couple of weeks to try and show you how much I care about you, but now I feel like a failure. I didn’t do enough to—”
“Gemma, you’re not a failure. The problem is me.” He stood and placed his hands on top of his head, staring out the window.
She gave him a moment, then stood beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Through the thin fabric of his shirt, she could feel the tension he carried there. The muscles moved as he breathed deeply and placed a hand on top of hers.
“Since my last relationship, I’ve been afraid to let anything go too far. I didn’t want to risk falling in love ever again. Love is messy and painful.” He winced. “But then I met you and decided that maybe it was time I broke my own rules. I was so tired of being alone.”
She inhaled sharply. “What happened?”
“My last girlfriend was a kindergarten teacher. We met at a teaching conference and hit it off. At least I thought we did. We dated for a year. On the night I took her out to celebrate our anniversary, she dumped me.”
A look of anguish crossed his face. “That’s when I found out that the only reason she’d agreed to date me in the first place was to get back at her ex. She’d never meant to let the ruse go so far. She’d never held any feelings for me. Everything I enjoyed, like comics, was too childish and nerdy for her. She wanted a more mature man.”
Gently turning him so he faced her, Gemma wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. Speaking into his shirt, she said, “How could anyone be so cruel?”
Tim stood still for a moment, then slowly brought his own arms around Gemma. “I don’t know, but it hurt. I can handle physical pain fine, but emotional pain is ten times worse. I felt like my heart had been thrown into a paper shredder and ripped apart. For a long time, I wondered what was wrong with me.”
Gemma listened to the constant beating of Tim’s heart. She wanted to personally go and find his ex and show her what the sharp edge of a toe pick felt like. Nobody deserved to be treated like rubbish. “How long ago was this?”
“Five years, give or take?”
Gemma did the mental math. “Is that right when you started teaching?”
He nodded.
Tim must have thrown all his energy into teaching. It’s no wonder he’s the type of enthusiastic teacher he is.
Breaking their hug, Gemma cupped his cheeks. “Tim, I promise you’ll never have to go through an experience like that ever again. You have me, and I have enough love in my heart to make up for five, ten, or maybe even a hundred of your rotten exes.”
“You mean you’re still willing to keep me as your boyfriend? If not, I understand. All that I ask is that you give me the chance to prove myself to you.”
“No, you don’t need to prove yourself to me. I already know you have a heart of gold.” She placed a hand on his lips. “I didn’t mean what I said when I told you to go ahead and leave. I didn’t want you to. I was mad.” She took a step closer to him. “You’re the man that I’ve fallen for. I love you.”
“You love me?”
“Uh-huh. I do.”
Tim pulled Gemma into his body and up against his chest. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “I love you too, Gemma-rella.”
Chapter 21
On Thanksgiving Day, Gemma removed the plastic skate guards protecting her blades and set them on the boards by the entry to the ice. Slowly gliding along, she tested her legs on the surface. Her toes felt as if they were on pins and needles. The arch of her foot was cramping.
