Devil's Advocate, page 10
“Don’t worry,” Ash added, as if sensing her nervousness. “It’s work related. You said back at the office that you didn’t necessarily agree with the school’s decision to expel Alex Foster. I was wondering why.”
“Oh.” Caitlyn took a breath, letting it out slowly as she shifted back into work mode. “I guess I’ve been thinking about what you said that morning we went to the school, about the coach saying things that would have landed you in detention.”
“Yes, the motivational speech, as you called it.” Ash traced air quotes with her fingers.
“I stand by what I said about coaches always acting like that when I was in school, but I also realize times have changed.” Caitlyn took another breath, steadying herself against troubling thoughts. “I do remember how it bothered me when coaches used certain words, the way they would accuse the boys of being effeminate, implying they were gay like it was the worst insult in the world.”
“It kind of was.” Ash lifted one shoulder in a what can you do way. “Especially for the guys, I’m sure.”
“Yeah. And chances are, some of them were gay,” Caitlyn continued, embarrassment pricking at her insides at how thoroughly her upbringing had conditioned her to think this behavior was normal. “In fact, I could almost have placed a bet on which ones. They were the guys who went out of their way to bully others, to turn the attention off themselves.”
Ash frowned. “You think Alex Foster is gay?”
Caitlyn shook her head. “Not that. But he has a diagnosed learning disability, and the other thing coaches loved to harp on if you got something wrong was how stupid you must be. A kid who’s already sensitive about his intelligence could certainly be provoked by being berated like that.”
“We don’t know the coach did that,” Ash reminded her as the server arrived with their plates.
Caitlyn gave her a let’s be real look as she picked up a fry and popped it into her mouth. “In front of the jury, I’ll one hundred percent agree with you. Oh my God.” She ended her sentence with a moan.
“Best fries ever, right?”
“You were not joking.” Caitlyn spent the next minute scarfing down bites of juicy burger and crispy fries as Ash tucked into her sandwich with equal aplomb. Finally, she came up for air and said, “Anyway, you asked why I had reservations about Foster’s expulsion. That’s the reason. And if I can think of it, so can Alex’s lawyers. And the jury.”
“Luckily the motion to dismiss you’re working on will be rock solid.” Surprisingly, there wasn’t even a hint of sarcasm behind Ash’s compliment. “I doubt this will ever get in front of a jury.”
“Thanks. Now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Caitlyn clutched her water glass, not wanting to lose her nerve. “My first day in the office, you pretended you didn’t know me. What was that about?”
Ash’s face flushed. “In my defense, you were wearing a stripper costume.”
Caitlyn leaned forward. “I was not. That was Sadie’s homecoming dress.”
Ash’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you telling me you let your baby sister wear that dress?”
“Hell no.” Caitlyn rolled her eyes, grabbing a few more fries and putting them in her mouth. “I can only assume Sadie chose that monstrosity without parental supervision—a time-honored family tradition. I realized as soon as I saw it there was no way I would let Sadie out of the house in it. But that’s not the reason you pretended we’d never met.”
In fairness, that might have been the reason, but Caitlyn’s gut feeling told her it wasn’t. She leveled her gaze at Ash, giving the same treatment she would to a hostile witness on the stand, until Ash fidgeted in her chair and showed signs of cracking as she set her half-eaten sandwich onto her plate.
“I didn’t know what to think. At the mock trial, you made it clear you’d stoop pretty low to win. I assumed the dress was just another Caitlyn Brewster mindfuck.”
Caitlyn’s hand tightened into a fist, capturing her fork in a death grip as she trawled her memories for any clue of what this accusation could be referring to and coming up empty. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Just… look, we have different lines we will and won’t cross. That’s all.” It appeared that Ash was trying to soften whatever it was she’d been implying, but Caitlyn was still at a loss.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I understand that making partner is a big deal. I want it too.” Ash’s jaw tightened. “And I intend to get it. But I won’t use my feminine wiles to win it.”
“Wait… You think…” Caitlyn’s brain short-circuited as she tried to make sense of Ash’s accusation.
“The dress. The…” Ash swallowed, clearing her throat. “The kiss.”
Caitlyn sucked in her breath as understanding hit. “You honestly believe I kissed you six years ago to throw you off your game, to gain an advantage, so I could win the mock trial competition?”
“Well…” Ash swallowed again. “Didn’t you?”
Caitlyn massaged her temples with ice cold fingers. “You think I did that, and that I showed up to my first day of work dressed like a prostitute to somehow get the upper hand in the race for a partnership at my new office?”
“I mean…” A light sweat appeared to have broken out on Ash’s forehead. “Didn’t you?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Caitlyn made a sound between a laugh and a sob. “The only reason I’m even here is my sister. Once she heads off to college, I’ll be on the first train back to New York. I have no desire to be made a partner in Boston.”
Ash narrowed her eyes. “If that’s true, how did you convince the Boston office to hire you for such a short time when they’re cutting back all over the place?”
“Other than promising hand jobs to all the equity partners?” Caitlyn let out a bitter laugh. There was an easy answer—her family connection to the firm’s founding partner—but this was hardly the time or place to admit it, and certainly not the person. “For my brilliant legal mind, naturally.”
“Come on. You don’t expect me to buy that.”
“I do.” Despite her best efforts, tears stung Caitlyn’s eyes. She was used to people thinking she was a garden variety ditz, but this was far worse, and hit all the harder coming from Ash. “Because it’s the goddamn truth.”
“Okay, okay.” Ash put up her hands, remorse flashing in her dark eyes. “I’m sorry to have implied otherwise. That was unfair.”
“Yes. It was.” Caitlyn poked at her remaining fries, her appetite gone.
“Did… did you want to try a bite of my sandwich?” Ash offered.
“No.” Caitlyn was still mad, but she couldn’t help chuckling. “You suck at peace offerings, Tanner.”
“That’s a fair assessment.” Ash took a sip of water, looking like she wished she’d ordered something stronger. “Going back to six years ago. Why did you—”
“Why did I kiss you?” Caitlyn held up her hand to silence Ash. “If you’re still trying to ask if it was part of my strategy, it wasn’t. I had no idea you’d even think that until after I’d done it, and even then, I thought you were being hurtful on purpose to throw me off my game.”
“I… Oh.” The check arrived and Ash whipped out a credit card before Caitlyn could process what was going on. “Let me get this. To say I’m sorry, or something.”
“Or something?” Caitlyn arched an eyebrow but the half smile that followed hinted her anger had mostly passed. “Thanks.”
“For dinner, or for admitting I no longer think you routinely dress as a hooker for personal gain?” Ash offered a silly grin, making it clear she was the intended butt of her own joke.
Caitlyn laughed. “Both.”
Surprisingly, she felt more at ease with Ash now than she had since her arrival. Whatever had passed between them at dinner seemed to have worked the weirdness between them out into the open where it could dry up and blow away like old autumn leaves. Now that their collective branches were bare, they could wait with anticipation of something fresh and new.
Like… spring?
Or something like that. Caitlyn was a lawyer, not a poet. The fact she was thinking in metaphors and similes would’ve come as a shock to her teachers back at Moorehead, almost as much as it did to her.
There it was again, the D word. Date. Caitlyn couldn’t shake it off so easily this time. If she were in anyone else’s company…
Outside of the restaurant, the night sky glowed with the full moon hanging overhead. The crisp air tasted full of spice and was chilly enough that Caitlyn drew her jacket closed with one hand.
“I guess I’d better head back to where I parked,” she said, looking one way and then the other to get her bearings. The abrupt ending to the evening came as a shock to her system nearly as much as the cold air, but again, this wasn’t a date.
It’s not, she reiterated to herself, just to make sure the point was understood.
“Let me walk with you,” Ash insisted, throwing that whole not-a-date thing into utter chaos. “I want to show you something. That is, if you have time.”
“As long as this isn’t another ploy to lure me back into a deserted alley to murder me,” Caitlyn joked, even as she repeated not a date to herself one more time.
Ash raised one hand. “I solemnly swear I am not a serial killer.”
“Okay. I guess if you can admit you misjudged me, I can do the same.” And that was all it was, Caitlyn assured herself. Letting bygones be bygones. Getting off on a better foot. She nudged Ash with her shoulder as she had earlier in the evening, just to reconfirm the friendly and totally platonic nature of things. Much to her surprise, the air between them crackled as a whole host of sensations she barely remembered were possible zinged through her body like candy pop rocks being dissolved directly in her bloodstream.
The streets were quiet as they walked back past Rachel Revere Square. The tourists had gone home, and even most of the diners at the restaurants Caitlyn had noted before seemed to have moved on. How late was it, anyway? Caitlyn had lost all track of time, immersed in good food and company. It was so out of character she was tempted to look around for a time vortex, although she wasn’t sure what that would look like, exactly. Still, it was the most plausible explanation for this feeling, one that was both out of body and almost painfully in body at the same time.
She could feel her heartbeat in her teeth. That couldn’t be normal.
Seemingly unaware of the bizarre physical sensations taking place in her companion’s body, Ash led them down a cobblestone-paved street until they reached an open plaza with a statue in the middle of a man on horseback.
“While we’re both in agreement that the Midnight Ride was overrated, I thought you’d like to see Old North Church at night.” Ash made a ta-da motion as she gestured to where a tall white steeple was bathed in moonlight.
The outdoor pedestrian corridor, wide and lined with trees, was as empty as the streets had been. The city noises were muted here, the surroundings looking nothing like downtown with its tall buildings, or even the waterfront with its rows of sleekly renovated warehouse office space. Despite the cold, the air had an earthy smell, like the scent of a coming storm. Caitlyn breathed in deeply, awareness of the sheer romance of the moment washing over her.
“It’s beautiful.” Caitlyn placed a hand to her mouth, surprisingly overcome with emotion at the sight of the famous church. She turned toward Ash, becoming transfixed as the woman’s sparkling eyes drew her in.
Caitlyn wondered what Ash was thinking. Was she, too, experiencing this moment out of time feeling? Was she also hyperaware of the pulse in her teeth?
That was a stupid question, and yet Caitlyn found herself wishing she could peek inside Ash’s head, just to know. And to know if she felt the romance of this place as acutely as Caitlyn did. Was that why she’d brought her here? Was she hoping for something more, something like that night six years ago?
Seconds ticked past but neither moved.
Perhaps more importantly, was Caitlyn hoping for more?
Almost unaware, Caitlyn licked her lips.
Ash’s head bent lower in response.
Electricity thrummed through Caitlyn’s veins as her pulse sped up. Could what she was thinking possibly be happening?
Caitlyn fought the urge to stand on tippy-toe. After all that had passed between them, there was no way Ash would so much as consider something so reckless. They might as well light matches in a pile of dry leaves and hope nothing burned.
And yet, Ash inched closer.
A moment later, Caitlyn was swept into Ash’s arms. Caitlyn’s jacket buttons pushed into her chest as their bodies pressed closer. If only she could shed it, and the rest of her layers as well. God, how amazing would it feel to have nothing between them, just bare skin?
Their mouths were so close. Any minute now, Caitlyn was certain Ash would break free and run, just as she’d been sure she would make a dash for it after that excruciating elevator ride. But she hadn’t then, and she didn’t now.
And finally, their lips met, sparks transforming into fireworks as every reason they shouldn’t be doing what they were doing flew from Caitlyn’s consciousness, replaced by one word.
More.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The moon. The sky. The steeple.
All of it had disappeared. The only thing that existed in Ash’s vision was Caitlyn.
Ash grabbed a fistful of the woman’s jacket, pulling her closer. All she wanted was to fill her lungs with Caitlyn’s delicate scent, to twine her fingers through the woman’s golden strands of hair while exploring every inch with her lips and tongue.
Caitlyn shuddered in Ash’s arms, moaning against her mouth. Ash’s every muscle tensed. She ran her lips down Caitlyn’s neck, desire threatening to burn out of control. In the next heartbeat, Caitlyn’s hands cupped Ash’s face, pulling her back so their mouths could meet again, Caitlyn’s lush lips devouring her.
“Get a room!” A man in a Bruins jersey, waving a childish flashlight that changed colors, shoved past them, the stink of beer and cigarettes rolling off him.
“Gotta love Boston sports fans.” Ash continued to cling to Caitlyn, ready to pick up where they’d left off, but the woman instantly pulled back as if the interruption had flipped a switch inside her, returning her to her normal, rational state. The hope inside Ash shriveled like a houseplant that hadn’t been watered in months, leaving her with the same sense of emptiness at her inability to manage something that seemed to come so easily to everyone else.
“I think…” The desire was still there in Caitlyn’s eyes, so palpable it was difficult for Ash to register the meaning of her words. But slowly the fire sputtered, dimming to regret. Was it the kissing that made the woman have second thoughts, or the stopping?
No way would Ash be that lucky, for Caitlyn to be as irrational right now as she was willing to be. Maybe it was for the best. Someone had to be the grown-up here.
“Of course,” Ash said softly, smoothing her disheveled hair. “You’re right.”
“About…?” Caitlyn let her voice trail off.
The response baffled Ash even more. Was this some kind of trick? Ash didn’t know if she was supposed to argue why making out in front of a Boston landmark was a good thing, or bad.
Should she fight harder to continue whatever it was they were doing? As much as she wanted to, it felt wrong. Not just because Caitlyn said she needed to go home, but because now that the heat of the moment had passed, the reality of their situation was sinking in. They were coworkers in an office where rumors flew with abandon. Ash was so close to making partner she could almost taste it. The last thing she needed was to become the subject of an office scandal. It would put both their careers in jeopardy.
“We work together.” Resignation pulled Ash’s shoulders into a hunch. She wished she was the type who would throw caution to the wind, to see where the night could go if they took the anonymous sports fan’s advice and took this somewhere more private.
Like back to Ash’s apartment, a mere block and a half away.
“We do work together.” Caitlyn repeating Ash’s words back to her did little to add clarity to the moment. Classic lawyer tactic.
Ash sighed. As much as she hated it, she had to be mature about this. Too much was riding on that partnership, not just for herself, but for her whole family. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
They trudged back toward the office in silence, the wind picking up as storm clouds blotted out the moon. If only those billowing masses had arrived sooner, perhaps Ash would not have been so quick to fall under the spell of its glow.
The moon was to blame, obviously.
The kiss had been spectacular, sure. But was it the one kiss by which to measure all others for the rest of her life?
Shit. Maybe.
Actually, there was a good likelihood that no other kiss in Ash’s lifetime would come close. But Ash had to keep her head in the game, and that meant putting her career first. She had people depending on her, and beyond that, she owed it to herself to succeed.
“What the fuck?”
Ash jumped, startled at the sudden outburst from her companion. Was she angry at Ash’s decision not to pursue her? But it soon became clear Caitlyn’s fury wasn’t aimed at Ash, but at the bright yellow metal boot affixed to the wheel of the sole remaining car parked in front of their office building.
“Is this your car?” Ash asked, pointing to the hunter green classic Jaguar even though she was almost certain the answer was yes.
“I’m going to murder someone,” Caitlyn growled.
“I thought we agreed earlier that homicide is off the table.” Ash smiled, hoping her joke would lighten Caitlyn’s mood, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Ash withered as a tear rolled down Caitlyn’s cheek.
“How am I going to get home?” Caitlyn covered her eyes with her palm.
“I would drive you,” Ash said helplessly, “but I don’t have a car.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that anyway. It’s so far.” Caitlyn walked to the back of the car, popping open the trunk. “Maybe there’s something in here…”
