Trials of Conviction, page 22
Kira - Rothchild's Surface
A cloak was thrust in front of Kira's face, obstructing her view of the snow covered landscape.
"What's this?" Kira asked, looking at the item in front of her.
Pallas jiggled the cloak impatiently. "What does it look like? It's a cloak."
"I can see that. Why are you giving it to me?"
The balial material that made up her clothes was temperature regulating. She didn't need to worry about freezing to death while wearing it. The parts of her uncovered might experience frostbite. Such as her ears and hands. But gloves and earmuffs would protect her well enough.
"Anti-Consortium sentiment has grown in the last few years. The planet's inhabitants didn't appreciate their sacrifices being forgotten and glossed over by the rest of their government. Since you're the one responsible for the moon, I thought you'd want to keep your identity hidden to avoid pointless fights."
Reluctantly, Kira took the cloak from Pallas, holding it between her thumb and forefinger like it might bite.
With Pallas, you never knew.
He watched her with a tiny smirk on his face as if he found her actions adorable. "I suggest you keep the hood up. The Phoenix is rather famous around here."
Kira's snarl was silent as he sauntered back into the ship.
Alone, Kira scrutinized the cloth. Except for the fur lining the hood and edges, it looked average. The color a deep green that could be mistaken for black at a distance or in dim light.
Considering that night had already fallen, she'd blend in nicely.
Finding nothing that might pose her harm, Kira settled the cloak over her shoulders. The bottom brushed the tops of her boots.
"It looks good on you," Graydon said, joining her.
Seeing her fiddling with the cloak strings, he moved forward to take over. "Let me."
Kira dropped her hands, letting him help despite being able to do it herself. The worry crouched in the back of his eyes held her back. A distress she wished she could ease.
"Being back here feels strange." Kira lifted her gaze to the sky and the moon whose scars were visible even from the planet's surface. "Last time I visited this solar system, I left a permanent mark."
How many people could claim that?
Graydon's fingertips brushed her collarbone as his movements slowed.
"This place has featured in my dreams for so long that the very name of the planet brings forth a flood of emotion. I've relived that battle so many times that every moment of it is burned into my memory. All except the one moment that counts."
Kira liked the fact that Graydon didn't offer her banal words of sympathy. He didn't say that there was nothing she could have done. That remembering wasn't important. Everything she'd been told again and again. Instead, he listened. His silence allowing her the freedom to examine her feelings without the pressure of judgment.
"I don't remember giving the order for the explosion. I don't remember what came afterward."
And that bothered her. It had always bothered her.
"They were so important to me." Kira glanced up at the stars. "The least I could do was remember their final moments."
Graydon reached for her hand, squeezing it in comfort. "Trauma can affect memory. Your brain's way of blunting the pain of loss."
"That's what all the doctors Himoto found for me said as well."
Her mind's way of protecting her, they claimed.
Kira nodded at the sky. "They're still up there, you know. No one recovered the bodies."
They'd never even tried. Centcom had other worries after the battle. Salvaging their dead from the debris field during the height of a war wasn't among them.
Kira glanced at Graydon. "Do the Tuann bury their dead?"
"It varies by House. For Roake, if there are remains recovered, they inter them to the sea."
Somehow that didn't surprise Kira greatly. They'd built their fortress on a cliff overlooking the ocean. She didn't think that happened by accident. The fact they were the custodians of the lu-ong's spawning ground might also have something to do with that.
"The thing all Tuann have in common are their places of remembrance. For instance, the hall of heroes in House Roake."
Kira nodded, remembering the names written on fabric and plastered over a wall in their training facility. Some of those had been faded beyond recognition. While for others, the ink was still legible.
"For the Tuann, it's the memories we leave behind rather than what happens to our physical remains that we find meaning in," Graydon continued. "On rare occasions, such as when an event leaves a deep scar on the entirety of our race, an etheiri will form. It acts as a repository for our memories, allowing us to revisit important moments. It's the Mea'Ave's way of mourning with us. When the grief fades, the etheiri's form changes. We never forget, but the pain does lessen."
Kira had seen an etheiri on Ta Sa'Riel. The crystalline forest that had formed from the woven memories of those who'd tasted loss during the Sorrowing had been beautiful, if tragic.
She wondered if an etheiri would have formed for Rothchild if humanity had something equivalent.
She'd like to think so.
They’d saved an entire planet. A whole race, if you included the treaty the Haldeel signed with the Consortium after. That was the kind of thing that should be remembered.
Kira kept her gaze trained on the sky. "You know about the burst, don't you?"
He'd sent Baran to human territory to gather information on her. Even though the records regarding that ability of hers were considered top secret, she didn't think that would have stopped the oshota.
"We call it the Heaven's Wrath," Graydon said.
"What a busy little bee Baran's been."
Himoto would have killed for an agent with his investigatory abilities.
Kira finally looked at Graydon. "Is that ability from my heritage—or Jin's?"
Graydon didn't have to speak for her to read the answer on his face.
"Another thing I snatched from him," Kira whispered in defeat.
Graydon took her arm. "That he gave you willingly."
Kira looked away, knowing he had a point. She'd be spitting on Jin's sacrifice if she continued feeling this way.
"I still don't understand how things happened the way they did," Kira confessed.
By rights, it should be her soul bound to that drone. Not Jin's. She'd been the one mortally injured.
"I heard about Jarek reading your memories and think I have a theory to explain what happened," Graydon said.
Kira's attention swung back to him, her eyebrows climbing.
Graydon held up a small pebble, its color the deep blue of a sapphire. "Do you remember this?"
Kira took it, surprised when a sensation ran up her fingers. "Is this a testing stone? Where did you get this?"
She seemed to remember another stone like this. It had been part of a set in Quillon's possession that was meant to determine the affinity of a person's ki. Those traits and abilities that were naturally suited for their soul's breath.
For instance, Joule tested as Earth Class. A shielder, specifically.
That meant he had an aptitude for defense and why his shields were naturally better than Devon's, whose affinity lay in a different direction.
It didn't mean that Devon couldn't create a shield with the same strength as Joule's. Just that he would have to work considerably harder.
That was the thing about these tests. Aptitude was only part of the equation. Dedication and hard work were the other parts.
The problem was that some Tuann didn't see it that way. They thought an affinity determined a person's potential. It was why Joule had faced difficulty when he first arrived in House Roake. His peers had thought his affinity would limit his usefulness.
Dumbasses.
Anybody with half a brain knew a strong defense was priceless.
His problem was compounded by the fact that traditionally those hoping for a shot at becoming their House's Overlord possessed those affinities seen as more powerful. Such a mindset pointed to how inflexible the Tuann's thinking could be.
Aptitude didn't define potential. And any tool in your arsenal could become a powerful weapon when utilized correctly.
However, there were certain affinities that were rare and unable to be replicated unless you possessed them. That was the case with Kira's burst, or the Heaven's Wrath as Graydon called it.
"Quillon gave it to me after explaining how you chose it during your affinity test," Graydon explained.
Kira closed her fist around the stone. "He told me that test was invalid since I was wearing the inhibitor."
His explanation had made sense since the inhibitor interfered with Kira's access to ki.
Graydon nodded. "That could very well be the case."
Kira's gaze dropped to the stone as a buzzing sensation nipped at her palm. "But you don't think it is."
Graydon shook his head, his hand coming up to cover her fist. "It would explain some things."
Kira let him pry open her fingers to reveal the deep blue of the stone.
"Technically, it's not an affinity," Graydon explained.
Kira's forehead furrowed in confusion. "How does that work?"
Graydon brushed a finger across the stone's surface, tickling her palm in the process. "It's an old folk tale among our people. They say the first among us to receive affinities were like clean slates upon which anything could be written. The shape of their soul was decided based on the experiences they accumulated. A person with a strong desire to defend became a shielder. A person who lived on the battlefield developed more offensive capabilities. They adapted to their circumstances and their soul's breath with them."
"That doesn't make sense," Kira said.
Moreover, it totally negated the idea of an affinity.
"That's why almost no one tests for it anymore. There has never been a confirmed case. The only stories we have about it were based upon the first few Tuann to receive their soul's breath directly from the lu-ong. It's mostly considered a legend."
Graydon released Kira's hand.
She looked down at the stone. "What are you saying?"
"Your potential is entirely influenced by your experiences," Graydon informed her.
"And this is supposed to explain what happened with Jin?"
"Partially," Graydon allowed. "Your desire to survive is a defining trait of yours. As is your protectiveness of others. You went back for Jin despite knowing the likely outcome. That's enough to form a bond. Based on his physical condition and young age, Torvald doubts Jin could have used the drone's essence to save you nor could he have transferred your soul. It's more likely you both would have died in the attempt. Your affinity may have recognized that and lent its help."
"But in the process, it wound up costing him his body," Kira finished.
Graydon inclined his head. "That is my theory."
Kira rolled the stone in her hand, contemplating what Graydon had shared. It was just within the realm of possibility. The desperation and fear they’d both experienced somehow enabling them to do what even the Tsavitee's masters couldn't.
The thud of boots against metal announced Pallas and Lathan's presence as they walked out of the ship.
Pallas threw the cloak he was holding at Graydon's head. "It may offend your delicate sensibilities, but wear it."
Graydon caught the cloak, preventing it from hitting his face as he leveled a cold look on the other man. Pallas stared, his tiny smirk taunting. Inhaling harshly, Graydon maintained his composure as he swung the cloak over his shoulder without an argument.
Despite getting what he wanted, Pallas didn't look pleased.
"You owe me money, seon'yer," Lathan observed as he locked up the ship. "You bet me he'd refuse."
"Of course I did," Pallas snarled. "The Tuann are notoriously arrogant. Especially when it comes to their synth armor. Who would have thought an emperor's Face would deign to cover his pride and joy?"
Kira hid her smile at Pallas's irritation. It served her brother right for underestimating Graydon.
Pallas refused to drop the matter. "He should have refused."
His gaze wandered to Kira as if blaming her for Graydon acting out of character.
She shrugged in fake sympathy. "I guess you don't understand the Tuann as well as you thought."
Pallas made a tsking sound. "Unlikely."
He adjusted his own cloak over his sword and sheath, ensuring he’d be able to draw it without a problem.
"What? No hood?" Kira asked snidely.
Finished, Pallas purposely bumped her with his shoulder as he moved past her. "There’s no reason for me to hide my face. I’m not the one they think blew up their moon."
"You always have to have the last word, don’t you?"
Pallas barked out a laugh. "You’re the one still speaking."
Muttering under her breath and unable to argue without proving his point, Kira stomped after him. The Wanderer had better show up soon. She didn’t think this planet was big enough for her and Pallas.
Fifteen
Snow crunched underfoot as Pallas forged the path ahead. Kira and Lathan followed with Graydon guarding their rear.
They hadn’t made it far when the lenacht poked it’s head out of Lathan’s cloak to chirp a greeting at Kira.
She smiled at its antics before running a finger across its brow ridge in a gentle caress it seemed to enjoy. "I take it you'll be joining us for this adventure?"
The lenacht closed its eyes and leaned into Kira's touch. A growling purr rumbled from its throat.
"She likes you," Lathan observed.
"Of course, she does. Kira is a beloved." Pallas stopped and held his hand out to the lenacht. The creature launched off Lathan, gliding the short distance to Pallas and nestling into his arms like she’d done it a thousand times.
"Although you're the lenacht's partner, Kira is her protector. Don't underestimate the Phoenix's effect on this one," Pallas instructed, gentle as he tucked the lenacht into his cloak.
The care he showed reminded Kira of something she'd almost forgotten; once, Pallas had held the kindest soul within the camp. A boy with a compassionate heart that made him a favored target of their masters who'd gone out of their way to break him.
And break him they did.
The first time he'd been forced to take a life he sobbed until he exhausted himself, his eyes swollen half shut, his cheeks wet with tears. He'd refused their captors' orders after that. They made the rest of them watch as they beat Pallas bloody. A warning of what would happen if they stepped out of line.
Pallas, though, was stubborn. It didn't matter what they did to him. He refused to fight under their orders.
So, they beat him some more. And when that didn't work, they assigned him to be the subject of an experiment.
That was when Pallas changed. He was no longer the old Pallas when he finally returned.
Blood no longer bothered him. Killing either.
Too many other of her siblings had self-destructed upon being broken. Unable to cope with their new reality. For Pallas to come out the other end, still alive, if a touch crazy, was something she’d always admired.
"Where is he going?" Pallas asked, pulling Kira out of her memories.
She turned in the direction he indicated to find the J1N motoring away from them, its lights on full illumination.
Kira's shoulders slumped. "Damn it. What does that thing think it’s doing?"
Pallas's snicker followed her as she trudged after the drone. "Best catch him before he goes too far. You wouldn't want to leave your best friend behind. You have a ruse to maintain after all."
And there was the asshole she'd come to know and hate.
Kira didn't go far, only a few steps back along the path they'd trekked before she cupped her hands around her mouth. "Get back here, J1N!"
The drone stopped, swiveling in place as if trying to establish her location.
"That's right. This way," Kira called.
She waved her arms, hoping movement would help the glitchy drone figure out which way to go without her having to walk all the way back to the ship.
The drone veered to the right.
Kira dropped her arms to glare at the J1N. "Don’t make me come over there."
The J1N didn't seem to hear. Or if it did, it failed to recognize the significance of that threat.
It continued bumbling in the direction it had chosen.
Graydon stopped next to her. "Better catch it before it gets lost."
Now there was a thought. Unfortunately, not one she could pursue if she ever wanted to return Jin to his body.
Thankfully, corralling the drone didn't take long.
"Stop wandering off and just follow," Kira ordered after catching him.
"Follow. Roger."
"Not that way." Kira grabbed the J1N when it immediately set off in the wrong direction. "This way."
She steered it back onto the right path before cautiously letting go. To her relief, it stayed on course this time.
Kira trudged after the rest. Pallas and Lathan had already set off again, but Graydon waited for her to catch up. He nodded as she passed him, falling in behind her.
The group set a punishing pace as they moved over the rolling hills near where they’d landed. It wasn't long before Kira found herself wishing for some kind of specialized snow equipment.
Even with Pallas blazing a path, the going was tough with the snow reaching to Kira's thighs in some places.
Ice from last night's storm had created interesting shapes among the branches of the trees. Twisting ropes of icicles bowed the trees, their canopies nearly sweeping the ground from the weight.
It was strangely beautiful. A sight that deserved to be captured and memorialized forever.
The thing Kira was most worried about, however, was the possibility of straying into one of the numerous rivers that riddled Rothchild's surface. There was a reason this planet was referred to as the river world.
Rothchild had no real ocean. Just a series of great lakes and rivers that covered huge swaths of the planet.
