Counterfeit Courtship, page 17
“Well, if you saw it then you already know the answer to your question. No, I’m not calling her.” Something he’d said in the texts back telling her not to come at him with that anymore.
“But she felt confident enough to send you that message despite us being together. Not only that, but Cora was bold enough to approach you at the after party last night. I mean, damn, Tyrone, how many other women approached you that I don’t know about?”
“No one else approached me. And I pushed all of them away. I’m not seeing anyone else. I told you I don’t lie about that type of stuff.”
“You may not lie, but eventually an offer will come up that you’re going to want to follow up. Eventually you’re going to be ready to move on.”
“You don’t know that.” She was willing to throw them away over something that might happen in the future? He couldn’t believe that was even her excuse right now.
“Do you know if this is forever?”
He closed his eyes and breathed out forcefully through is nose. There she went throwing the word forever around. How could he explain that he wasn’t ready to promise forever? Not because he only wanted a fling with her, but because the idea of making the promise and not being able to keep it scared the hell out of him. He didn’t want to hurt her one day. He only wanted to make her happy for every single day he had her.
He opened his eyes. The stony accusation in her eyes over something he hadn’t even done made his defenses rise. “You want me to say I want to get married? I can’t. I do want to be with you. Just you. Why can’t you get that?” Despite his efforts to try and be calm, the frustration tearing at his insides crept into his voice.
“Why can’t you get that I don’t want to be in a relationship with a man who has women texting him in the middle of the night about calling her when I’m out of town or coming up to him in the club when we’re on a date and asking for sex?” she snapped back. “I don’t want to have to turn the other cheek, or worse, show my ass because someone has decided to disrespect me.”
“I’ll handle that.”
“I know you’ll try. I know you think you’re just being open and honest and doing all the things that you should to avoid being called a jerk. Well, I’m being open and honest, too. I don’t want to date the player. Reformed or not. I don’t want to have to wonder if someone is smiling in my face and then asking you out when I turn around. I don’t want to worry which woman will be the woman to tempt you away. I don’t want to become the paranoid girlfriend. I’ve been there before and it’s not fun. I like you, Tyrone, and like I said from the start I want to like you when this ends. That’s why I have to start now.”
The underlying truth behind her words sliced deep into his chest. “You don’t trust me?” The realization punched straight to his insecurities and set them on fire. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in them. She didn’t believe in him.
“This isn’t just about trusting you. This is about protecting my peace as I try to build my career. Right now, I don’t need that in my life.”
“No, you don’t want me in your life. You don’t want to believe in me. You think I’ll screw this up just like my brothers thought I’d screw everything else up.” He no longer tried to hide his frustration, the rising anger. They served to mask the hurt pulsing inside him.
“This isn’t about your brothers.”
He nodded and rubbed his nose. The pain in his chest grew and unrooted all the things she’d once said. He wasn’t a screwup. He wasn’t unreliable. All of them had been lies. Lies he’d believed because he’d trusted the sweet words coming out of her mouth. “Nah, it’s alright. I get it. You know, you’re right. It’s best if we follow the plan. I was the one who got things mixed up.”
“Tyrone, don’t be like that.” She reached for him and he stepped back. She didn’t follow. She dropped her hand and looked at him with sad but determined eyes. “I need you to understand where I’m coming from.”
“I do. I get it. You don’t want to deal with the Towandas and Coras in my life. I understand.” Didn’t want to deal because she didn’t trust him to be faithful to her. Couldn’t see, or believe, that she was the only woman in his mind, in his heart. “This is for the best. We should just stick with what we planned before emotions get involved. I mean... I don’t want my car to get keyed again.” He tried to laugh but the sound was thin and hollow.
Kiera winced and sighed. She glanced away before looking back at him. “Look, I’ll continue to post some of the selfies we took and then phase it down to shots of me working in LA. If you do the same then we can release a statement right after the show premieres. It won’t be a big deal, and everyone will understand. You’ll just have to...” Her voice trailed away.
His chin shot up. “Have to what?” He didn’t want to hear it, but he already knew what she was going to say.
She shifted from foot to foot, then quickly said, “You’ll just have to not be seen with other women while I’m gone.”
The words were a slap in the face. She really did think he was going to screw everything up. That he’d go this far, tell her he wanted her, but still turn to another woman when she walked away. He took a step back. “Don’t worry. I’ll be sure anything I do stays off the radar.” The words were ambiguous and mean. He was lashing out and even though he wanted to pull her into his arms and beg her to stay, to trust him, to believe in him, pride closed his throat.
She sucked in a breath and raised her chin. “Good to know.” After one last glance at the table, she focused back on him. “I’ll text you when I get to Atlanta. Thanks again for the concert last night. It was cool.”
“No problem. I just called in a favor at the station. It wasn’t a big deal.” The lie was like sandpaper in his throat. Last night had been a big deal for him, but he’d already given her more of him than she wanted. He wasn’t giving her more.
Disappointment clouded her eyes before she nodded. “Goodbye, Tyrone.” She turned and walked out. With each echo of her footsteps, the anger, frustration and pain inside him swelled and pressed against the walls of his throat until he thought he’d choke on them. The door opened and quietly closed. The bubble of his emotions burst. Tyrone turned to the table and shoved the stack of pancakes onto the floor.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Instead of going back to her apartment, Kiera went straight to her parents’ house in east Atlanta. Sunday afternoons in the fall at her parents’ home meant football and lots of food. Both of her parents were huge Atlanta Falcons fans, and football season was the only time during the year when they attended the 8:00 a.m. church service versus the 11:00 a.m. service in order to get home in time to enjoy the afternoon games.
“Why didn’t you bring Tyrone?” The question was the first thing her mom said immediately after hugging and kissing Kiera.
Kiera just barely avoided rolling her eyes though she couldn’t suppress a sigh. “Good to see you, too, Mom.”
Evie Cox laughed and shook her head. She was Kiera’s height, with cocoa skin, a wide smile and cinnamon-brown hair thanks to the home coloring kit she wouldn’t give up no matter how much Kiera tried to convince her to go to a professional stylist. Her mom wore her favorite Falcons jersey with a pair of black joggers.
“You know I’m happy to see you,” her mom said. “I’d just like to also meet the guy you’re dating.”
“When it’s time I’ll let you know,” Kiera said looking over her mom’s shoulder and breathing in the scents filling the house. “I’m so hungry. What smells so good?”
Mentioning being hungry was enough to put Evie into “mommy” mode and she immediately ushered Kiera to the kitchen. Her brother, Rodrick, and his girlfriend, Contessa, were there along with their two-year-old son. Kiera went over to her dad, who was sitting in his spot in front of the television, and kissed his cheek. Silas Cox matched his wife with his own Falcons jersey and black joggers, except his short, salt-and-pepper afro was covered by the Falcons hat she’d gotten him for Christmas the year before. Her dad’s best friend and next-door neighbor, Walter, was also there. He’d claimed a spot on one of the couches and waved a hand while giving her a welcoming, gap-toothed smile.
Kiera helped her mom get the paper plates and cups ready before her dad blessed the food. After everyone filled their plates and settled around the living room to eat and watch the game, Kiera finally relaxed. This is what she needed. Time away to clear her head and think. She’d spent so much time wrapped up in the fantasy she’d created with Tyrone that she’d started to believe it.
The look on his face had haunted her on the ride back to Atlanta. The look of disappointment and hurt when she said she didn’t want to deal with the drama that came with being in a relationship with him. Tyrone wasn’t the playboy or womanizer he’d been accused of being, or the screwup he believed himself to be. She knew that. He wouldn’t intentionally hurt her, but she also believed one day he’d walk away and be with another woman, leaving her heart crushed.
She loved him. She knew that, but the love was new and growing and she hadn’t allowed it to settle in and take root. If she’d stayed she would never be able to untangle herself without suffering. Heartbreak and pain were distractions she couldn’t afford while she built her brand and crawled her way out of debt. No, walking away was the best thing for them both. The ache now would heal a lot faster than it would six months to a year from now, when he’d ultimately cut things off.
“Hey, Kiera, isn’t that your boy?” Contessa asked and pointed at the television.
Kiera looked up from her phone to the screen. Her dad scrolled during commercials and stopped on a promo for the new season of Haunted Homeboys. The sight of Tyrone with his sexy smile and teasing eyes made her heart clench.
“Yeah...that’s him.”
Her dad slapped his thigh. “Why don’t you bring him around? I need to make sure he’s good enough for my baby girl.”
Kiera played with the mac and cheese on her plate. “I’m figuring that out, too, Dad. When I know, you’ll meet him.”
Walter narrowed his eyes on her. “Why wouldn’t he be good enough? Haven’t ya’ll been dating for a while? You don’t know yet?”
Her dad pushed Walter’s shoulder. “Leave my girl alone.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” Kiera said.
Silas shot her with an inquisitive look. “Even though I’m wondering the same thing myself. He’s not treating you bad or anything, is he?”
Kiera shook her head. “No. He’s good.”
“I heard he was ho,” Contessa said while wiping smeared mashed potatoes from her son’s face.
Her brother nudged her. “Don’t say that?” He looked at Kiera. “But for real. Is he? He stepping out on you?”
Kiera pressed a hand to her temple. Why had she thought coming home was a good idea? “No. He’s not stepping out and he’s not a ho.”
“Your daddy was a ho,” her mom said from her recliner next to her husband.
“Momma!” Kiera exclaimed.
Evie shrugged and continued to eat her food. “What?” She looked at her husband. “Am I lying?”
Her dad waved a hand. “I dated around.”
Her mom rolled her eyes. “You were a ho. Don’t clean it up for the kids. When we first met your dad was just playing around with me.”
Kiera’s eyes swung to her father. “Daddy? For real?”
“Why you gotta say it like that, Evie?” he said, sounding petulant.
“Because it’s true. I wasn’t too worried because I knew you were a ho, so I didn’t put much stock into the sweet words you were saying.”
Her brother put a hand to his forehead. “Wait, Momma, don’t talk like that.”
Kiera laughed and pointed at her brother. “What’s the matter? Momma needed love, too.”
“That don’t mean I wanted to hear about it,” Rodrick grumbled and did an exaggerated shudder.
“Yeah, your mom didn’t think I was serious when I tried to talk to her,” her dad said. “It took her a while to realize I wasn’t playing around.”
“Sure did,” Evie said, calmly taking another bite of her mac and cheese.
Kiera looked from her mom to her dad. They’d talked about how they’d met through mutual friends, and that they hadn’t immediately hit it off before falling in love, but this was the first time they’d gotten into the trials before their triumphs. “When did you know he wasn’t playing around?” Kiera asked.
Her mom sighed then smiled. “It was the little things. He started backing up the promises he would make. Showing up when he said he would. Pushing aside all the little hoochie mommas that kept trying to tempt him.”
Silas scoffed. “They weren’t all hoochie mommas.”
Walter laughed so hard he almost spit out his beer. “Don’t lie, Silas. I knew you back then. Some of them were hoochie mommas.”
Her dad glared at his friend while Kiera and her brother stared back, stunned. Contessa laughed along with her mother. They were obviously tickled by this tidbit of information.
“Whatever, Silas,” her mom said. “You had women always trying to approach you. Especially after we went public. Oh, them old girlfriends tried hard to snatch him back.”
Contessa wrinkled up her nose. “And you were okay with that? I be trying to fight any woman who come for my man.” She reached over and patted Rodrick’s shoulder.
Kiera took a bite of chicken to avoid responding. Contessa’s short fuse and her brother’s lingering exes had led to most of the drama in their relationship. She knew her brother loved Contessa and, heaven help her, Contessa was crazy for her brother, but Kiera didn’t want any relationship resembling theirs.
“It was annoying,” her mom admitted. “But I knew that it was also a test. If he slipped up one time—” her mom snapped her fingers “—then I was gone. A person is gonna do what they want to do. I don’t believe in this a-man-is-just-a-man nonsense. If you care, then you show you care. If you don’t, then you do whatever you want without regard to the other person. He cared. Once we were together, he didn’t slip up. And that’s all I needed.”
Later, when Kiera was alone with her mom in the kitchen to get a slice of the lemon pound cake she’d made, Kiera asked, “Momma, what you said earlier about you and Daddy. Was that true?”
“Why would I lie?” Her mom paused in slicing the cake and putting in onto paper plates.
“I mean...didn’t you wonder? If you were making the right decision to trust him or not?”
Her mom watched her for a second. Kiera squirmed, getting the feeling that her mom immediately understood the reasons behind the question.
Evie went back to slicing the cake. “I did. Back then I didn’t know that we’d get married, have you and your brother and build a life together. I just knew that, despite his faults, I was crazy about him. As long as he respected me, I stuck with him. We went day by day.”
Kiera toyed with the edge of the plastic bag holding the paper plates. “That’s a lot of faith to put into a relationship that may go nowhere.”
“Any relationship can end up going nowhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s love at first sight, falling in love with a person years after meeting them, or just deciding to play around. Some relationships stick, others don’t. If you choose to be with someone and they’re treating you right, enjoy the time you have with them because tomorrow isn’t promised. No matter how perfect that person may or may not be.”
Kiera sighed. “That’s not very reassuring.”
Her mom placed a hand over Kiera’s. Kiera looked up from the plastic bag into her mother’s knowing smile. “You want me to give you a fairy tale and tell you everything will be okay? I can’t do that, baby. That’s for you to decide and learn on your own. If he makes you happy and treats you right, then you have to decide if that’s enough. If it’s not, oh, well. Don’t hide behind excuses or try to make sense of why you do or don’t want something. You know what you want.”
“But I don’t know if I should want...him.”
Her mom patted her hand. “Aren’t you going to LA?” Kiera nodded and her mom shrugged. “Well, guess you’ll have plenty of time to figure that out.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
The smell of waffles, fried food and coffee greeted Tyrone as he walked through the doors of the Waffle House in Sunshine Beach. He didn’t frequent the Waffle House. One, he preferred pancakes, and two, he wasn’t particularly welcome there. His eyes met Li’l Bit’s from across the room. The “welcome to Waffle House” greeting had barely crossed her lips before her smile faded to one of annoyance.
He’d come in on a Wednesday afternoon hoping it wouldn’t be as crowded as it typically was during the morning shift or on a weekend. Based on the crowded booths and the counter, he’d clearly assumed wrong. He made his way to the only open seat at the end of the bar. Li’l Bit and one other waitress were working along with the two cooks on the grills.
He gave her a tight smile and raised a hand, hoping it would lure her over to him. She rolled her eyes and looked away.
“Kerry, can you get the guy at the end of the bar?” she called to the other waitress.
Kerry shook her head. “Nah, Sheri, don’t think because it’s your last day that you get to put off the work. I’m about to serve my table, anyway.” Despite her refusal, Kerry grinned at Li’l Bit with the words.
Shaking her head, Sheri finally came over to Tyrone. “How can I help you?”
He pointed to the plastic tiara with the word Congratulations spelled out in purple letters on her head. “What’s with the crown?”
“Huh?” She reached for her head. “Oh, I forgot I was wearing that.” She glanced away as if embarrassed, but didn’t pull it off her head. “Do you want something to drink?”
