Adam, page 15
They had strayed far from the original topic.
“Please, my lady, resume your seat.”
After a moment, she did, and so did he. Adam, as his sisters would tell her, was a persistent chap. Thus, after another silent moment, he tried again.
“Lady Alice, will you marry me?”
She said nothing, only staring at him as if he’d grown a second nose. While she considered his proposal, he ate the porridge and set the bowl beside him so he could drink the now-cold tea.
Finally, knowing she was still looking at his profile, he said, “I doubt a man has ever waited so patiently.”
“I doubt a woman was more caught off guard than I,” she said.
“Then you haven’t been paying close attention,” he told her. What were the correct words to make her understand?
“When I still thought you were a governess, I confessed my ardent admiration and asked for your hand. You gave me platitudes about your station and mine, all the while knowing our stations in life were the same. And after yesterday, we know we fit perfectly.”
He stopped looking at the tree line in the distance and turned to see her blushing. A widow who blushed when a man referred to tupping. He liked that about her. He liked everything about her.
The question was, Did she feel the same?
After another long silence, she muttered, “We hardly know one another.”
Relief trickled through him. It wasn’t a definite answer, neither accepting his offer, nor closing the door entirely upon a union. Instead, it was a sensible statement, albeit inaccurate.
“That is not true,” he disagreed. “We have spent many hours together in Bath. But if you want to know more, then ask me a question, and I shall ask you one in return.”
For a moment, he thought she might not play the game, but she nodded.
“How is it your sisters all have such strange names, and you escaped that fate?”
Unexpected, but a fair question.
“I did not escape. My full name is Adamas, which in Latin means —”
“Diamond,” she filled in. “Thus, you are Lord Diamond Diamond. Your parents are an amusing pair.”
“Aren’t they, though? At least I escaped my mother’s second choice, Adamare. Do you also know what that means?”
By the way her cheeks reddened again, he would guess she did. Leaning closer, he kissed her, loving the way she turned to him and kissed him back. They were already a couple as far as he was concerned.
“It’s my turn,” he said when he finally drew back.
“For what?” she asked breathlessly, starting to lean against him.
“To ask you a question.”
Straightening immediately, she had the look of a skittish doe. “If you must.”
“How did you really meet your husband?”
“Completely irrelevant,” she snapped.
“I am merely trying to learn more about you. It wasn’t a public, middle-class dance in London.”
Alice twisted her lips, making him want to kiss her again. But then she relented.
“Very well,” she said, while threading her fingers in the fabric of her skirts. “I met Fairclough the way most people of our class meet, at a private ball.”
“And then?” he asked.
“You asked how we met,” she protested. “That is all. He came up with the master of ceremonies, gained an introduction, and asked for a dance.”
“Your turn,” he said.
“Why aren’t you married already?” she asked. “You are dash-fire handsome and extremely kind and obviously well-off.”
“I am so flawless I should marry myself,” he quipped. His words had the desired effect. Alice started to laugh, and he joined in.
Eventually, he took her chin between his fingers and captured her gaze.
“The answer is obvious, I believe. I simply had not met the right woman.”
She shrugged and tried to look away, but he stopped her.
“Adam,” she warned.
The way she said it sent a sizzle of desire to his loins.
“Yes, Lady Alice?”
She sighed. “You need a nice, innocent young lady. I have told you that before.”
“I don’t want a nice, innocent young lady. I want you.”
Her eyes narrowed at the perceived insult, which made him laugh again.
“You are far more interesting than any other lady I have ever met. I tried not to love you, but I fell hard, anyway. And now I can embrace my feelings for you.”
She stiffened. “Why now? I am no different now than I was in Bath. Lady or governess, what difference?”
“None,” he agreed. “I was willing to go to my family and tell them of my choice for a wife, the fabulous Mrs. Malcolm. It will be easier now.”
“Will it? Are they all of similar opinion that you must marry within your class?”
He stayed silent, thinking. “Honestly, I am not sure. I’ve simply always been surrounded by my peers.”
“You are a snout-nose!”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” Then he paused. “Well, aren’t you, too? Aren’t we all to some degree? Did you befriend your housemaids and play cards with your butler when you were Lady Alice or Lady Fairclough?”
“No.” She paused. “I remained with my own class for socializing as people do, no matter what class they belong to. I suppose that is why, as a governess, I made no friends. I was used to being with ladies and had no idea how to make new middle-class acquaintances.”
She bit her lower lip.
“What of your parents? What if they are horrified at my having been a wage-earner?”
“They will think you utter perfection.”
She sighed. “You intended to make me your mistress.”
Ah, that was stuck in her craw, was it?
Any way that he arranged the words, she wouldn’t like his explanation. Most men of his situation knew one thing — widows were for having fun. One escorted them around town with the idea there was a possibility for a sexual encounter at the evening’s end. Moreover, widows from a different class were not for marriage, not when one was the heir to an earldom. Why, he didn’t precisely know.
What he did know was that his friends would have teased him mercilessly had he shown up back home with a widowed governess as his wife. His parents, he hoped, would have accepted whomsoever made him happy, but there might have been the slightest shadow of concern.
Yet he had dismissed all of that and had asked her anyway, both when he thought her a governess and now. As far as he was concerned, he had redeemed his more dishonorable notions.
“At least say you won’t dismiss my suit out of hand. Let me stay here a while, and we can learn more about one another.”
Suddenly, her gorgeous smile appeared, and his heart beat faster.
“It is one of the benefits of being not only a widow but, for all intents, an orphan as well. I can do as I like.”
“And you like me.” Adam put his arm around her slender shoulders and pulled her against him. “Do you not, my lady?”
“Indeed, I do.”
Chapter Fifteen
Alice could not have imagined any such situation as the one she now found herself in. A single lady living with a bachelor in a grand yet dilapidated house.
Not to mention in extremely immoral circumstances.
If anyone ever found out the unusual arrangement, even a letter of recommendation from the Archbishop of Westminster himself could not save her reputation.
At first, she was determined to keep Adam from returning to her bed. However, he was such a rum duke of a man and, as she’d discovered, so charming, he was irresistible. It was much more than that, however she hated to examine the way he had taken up residence in her heart. That was too terrifying.
They spent their days working on small projects no one else wanted to tackle, silly things like pruning the rose bushes and fixing the garden trellis. When they took a break, it was so she could show him more of her beloved library. They ate with the others, played card games and riddles in the dining room since it was the only one with enough chairs, and then retired to their separate rooms.
After the first night, though, Adam crept to her door when the house was quiet, having learned the way in the dark.
With no maid to disturb them in the morning by opening curtains and bringing tea, Alice didn’t worry they would be discovered. Thus, when he fell asleep in her bed after swiving, she allowed him to stay. Eventually, when they did awaken with the sun, she sent him back to his own room.
Nearly a fortnight went by with the same behavior. Her heart was full of joy because of him, and she wished they could remain hidden in Caversham. However, due to his serious expression one sunny day when he was observing her shelling peas for Mrs. Georgie on the veranda, she knew.
“Something is wrong,” she said.
As if they were married, he leaned in and dropped a kiss upon her lips before picking a fresh raw pea from the bowl and popping it into his mouth.
“Not exactly. But I shall have to return to London soon.”
Her heart fell. Her stomach seemed to drop with it. Before him, for two years, she had been used to a life of solitude, teaching the Beasley girls and expecting nothing else but her books and the occasional free concert in the park.
Now, however, she had let herself grow used to Adam’s company. His tender lovemaking, his wicked humor, his beloved eyes.
She swallowed the lump of sadness, recalling how his life and the promise of a sweet future was ahead of him. And hers was lost in the mire of the past when she’d made more than one mistake.
“Come with me, Alice. Marry me. You know how I feel. We are perfect together.”
Her hands started to shake as she lowered the bowl to her lap. Tears blurred her vision.
For a second, she let herself think about being his wife. But only for a second. As soon as she was recognized as the former Lady Fairclough, too many questions would be asked. Richard’s brother would once again take up his former hostile threats and his unreasonable demands for money.
How could she drag Adam into any of that? She couldn’t, not when she loved him beyond measure.
Moreover, if she tried to explain her reluctance, tell him of her feelings, he would demand to know everything. He would want to know why the woman who had given away her heart wouldn’t give him her hand as well. And when she disclosed the entire ugly truth, then she would see the respect and admiration leach from his gaze.
Alice couldn’t bear to have him look at her with disdain.
Better to send him on his way, back to his upstanding family and his untarnished life in London. So why was she selfishly taking the hand he held out to her?
Adam drew her to her feet, and the bowl fell to the floor, scattering the peas.
Mrs. Georgie would be annoyed.
He made her face him, and a few tears spilled over.
“Lady Alice Malcolm Jeffrey, will you do me the honor of becoming my Lady Diamond? I can keep you in the manner to which you are familiar,” he gestured around them.
Despite crying, his words made her laugh, too. Then she hiccupped, making him smile.
“Adamare,” she whispered.
“Am I?” he asked, running a thumb across her cheek to catch a tear.
“Most definitely that name fits, a passionate lover. I cannot imagine how anyone could be more giving than you.”
“Are you accepting my proposal now that we know one another better?”
Putting her hands upon his cheeks, she drew his head down so she could kiss him. Slowly, she tilted her head as he had taught her, fitting her lips against his, breathing him in as she opened her mouth to taste him.
His hands came around her back, dragging her close against him.
Time stood still as they kissed. She needed nothing more than that to be happy.
Finally, Alice pulled away, wishing she could take her heart back from him because it already ached with loss.
“I hope that was a kiss telling me yes,” he said.
His deep blue eyes were joyful, reminding her of a beautiful September sky.
“I am sorry,” she said, slipping from his hold and running into the house.
Luckily, no one was around as she ran up the back stairs and to her room. She half-expected Adam to follow, so she wasn’t surprised when she heard a knock.
“I cannot,” was all she said.
“It’s me, m’lady,” came Mrs. Georgie’s voice.
“I am ... not feeling well at present,” Alice called out softly.
“I know all about that,” the cook said. “May I come in, anyway?”
Mrs. Georgie had never asked to enter her room before. Despite feeling wretched, Alice was curious.
Wiping her face on her sleeves, she opened the door. In an instant, she was enfolded in the cook’s arms.
Unfortunately, that caused her tears to fall faster. But Mrs. Georgie only gave her a minute to wallow in self-pity. And then she set her away.
“Don’t be a ninny,” she told Alice firmly.
“What do you mean?” She sniffed and dug in her pocket for a handkerchief.
“That young man wants to marry you.”
“How did you know?” Alice asked. The servants’ grapevine must work on a steam engine!
Mrs. Georgie shook her head. “It doesn’t matter how I know. Why won’t you accept him? It’s as plain as the nose on your face that you love him.”
Alice touched her nose unthinkingly. “I wish I could, but it’s impossible.”
“And why is that? You’re a widow, but still a young woman. I know you’re not grieving that arse you married.”
“For one thing, Lord Diamond is going to be an earl someday. He needs a fresh, new lady who has never been married.”
“Not true at all. I don’t know much, but even kings and queens marry widows and widowers. Besides, that’s for his lordship to decide.”
“No,” Alice said, starting to pace the room, glad for once it was empty because it gave her space to walk. “I must decide for both of us because ... because ...”
“Do you want to tell me what happened? Mayhap I can help you see clearly how to leave the past where it belongs. I know you would rather have your mother —”
“God, no!” Alice exclaimed. Not that she held anyone to blame except herself, but her distant, indifferent parents had turned out not to stand behind her, nor even beside her, when problems arose. She’d fended for herself when she had most needed support.
“I should have confided in you the first time Fairclough came to this house,” Alice said. “He followed me from London after ... well, after we were discovered alone, only kissing, mind you,” she added, not wanting the cook to think badly of her. “He had done the honorable thing, or so I thought, and asked for my hand. Then my parents had whisked me back here, most likely so I wouldn’t reconsider marrying a stranger, nor discover more about his less-than ideal nature.”
Mrs. Georgie shook her head. “We didn’t have as close a friendship as we have now,” she reminded her. “But I wish I had told you I thought the man had tiny, beady, untrustworthy eyes even then.”
“He did, but I didn’t notice until too late. And my mother thought him extremely handsome.”
“Pish!” Mrs. Georgie said. “Your former husband was like an ogre compared to Lord Diamond.”
That wasn’t exactly true, but it made Alice smile for the first time. Her mother was a terrible judge of character and had passed that trait down to her only daughter — until it was too late.
“I wish I had come to the kitchen, asked to peel some potatoes, and had a chat with you. My life would be so different.”
“You probably wouldn’t have listened to me then, but I hope you listen now. Your life can still be different. Take the chance that nice gentleman is offering you.”
“I wish that I could.”
“Then tell me why you cannot.” Mrs. Georgie sounded heated. “I am no fool, and neither is Lord Diamond. If it’s because you were previously wed, that’s no matter. He doesn’t care about that, so why should you?”
“In London, I was threatened by my husband’s brother.” Alice hated hearing the words out loud.
Mrs. Georgie frowned. “What kind of threats?”
“Frightening ones about how Richard died. I swear I had nothing to do with it, except ...”
“Except for what, m’lady?”
“Wishing it would happen. Praying, in fact, nightly for some way to be free of him.” Her voice broke, remembering her desperation.
Mrs. Georgie shook her head. “You cannot credit your hopes and prayers with a man’s death.”
“If I return to London and Fairclough’s brother discovers me, I don’t know what he will do.”
“The Fairclough brothers already stripped this home of everything of value —”
“Not our books,” Alice reminded her.
“Except for the books, because the men they sent were too stupid to realize their worth, and because we stood at the door of the library with guns and knives drawn.”
“Did you?” Alice’s eyes widened with wonder.
“Yes!” Mrs. Georgie said proudly.
Alice hugged her again. “I had no idea.”
“I knew you would be back, even after your parents moved away.” This time Mrs. Georgie’s voice cracked with emotion. “I was shocked at how they left.”
Alice couldn’t say the same. Her parents held no great sentiment for the country home that had passed down to Alice from her grandfather and his father before him. Even though she’d been in London, she knew her parents felt a sense of relief when everything had been taken, forcing them to move. The burden of Stonely Grange had been lifted.
“Then how can I possibly go away again? How can I leave you all who stood by to protect our home?”
Mrs. Georgie shook her head. “Marry that young man. Don’t let the Faircloughs spoil anything more for you. Maybe someday, you’ll decide to refurbish this place. Then come back and we’ll be here.”
Alice started to think she ought to take the wise cook’s advice. After all, Adam was nothing like Richard. He had already spent many more hours telling her and showing her how he felt. There was still another concern.
