What a Trip, page 25
“It comes furnished.” Katie laughed.
“Pat and I have rooms over here. They used to be sun porches. Great light for painting.” Katie pointed to two small rooms, one on either side of the living room. Each had two walls surrounded by windows.
“Far out,” Fiona said.
“Your room is down the hall,” Katie said, leading Fiona to the back of the apartment.
The third bedroom was on the left side of the hallway across from the bathroom. Its one window looked at the naked wall of the house next door. Not inspiring but much larger than the front rooms. A double mattress lay on the floor next to a nightstand from the 1920s. A dresser covered in chipped veneer sat next to a small closet.
“Not much on inspiration, but it’s the biggest bedroom and close to the bathroom,” Katie said.
To Fiona’s relief, the bathroom was spacious and clean. The clawfoot tub was rigged with a shower. A pedestal sink and a toilet with an ancient pull chain completed the ensemble.
A canary-yellow kitchen was located at the rear of the apartment. The appliances dated from the 1940s, as did the enamel-topped kitchen table. A walk-in pantry housed food and art supplies. Through the rear window Fiona noticed a small porch.
Katie poured a cup of stale coffee for Fiona as they discussed details. The rent was significantly cheaper than Fiona’s private room at the dorm. Her dad would like that.
“I have to get the okay from my dad,” Fiona said. “He’s paying the bill.”
“Not a problem. Dr. Wilckins prefers to rent to art students. I know he’ll approve you. You’re a rising star in the department,” she told Fiona, who blushed visibly.
Katie and Pat would continue to interview potential tenants but assured Fiona that she’d be their first choice.
Fiona called her parents that evening. Her dad hesitated until she told him the house was owned by one of her professors. “He lives next door and follows the same rules and curfew as the dorms,” Fiona lied.
“Sounds safe enough, and I like the price,” her dad said. “But I want you to continue to get your meals on campus. You don’t need to think about cooking and shopping on top of everything else.”
The cafeteria food was substandard but definitely a step up from any meals Fiona knew how to prepare.
“And one more thing, honey. Let’s keep this between us. Your mom doesn’t need to know.”
“It’s a deal, Dad. You’re the best.” Her dad had been taking Fiona’s side more and more in the last year. He also was spending less and less time at home.
Dr. Wilckins approached Fiona the following day in the Art Department office. “Fiona, I hear you’re moving in with Katie and Pat.”
His comment startled her. “Um, well, I hope I can. Don’t I have to fill out some kind of application or something?”
“That’s just a formality. I couldn’t think of a better tenant than you. All I ask is no wild parties and no loud noise after ten at night. Overnight guests are cool as long as they don’t move in. Oh, and keep the place clean.”
“Thank you so much.” This had to be one of the best days of Fiona’s young life. “I won’t let you down.”
Fiona wanted to share her news with Reuben, but he was working at the library until seven that evening. Instead, she called Melissa when she got back to the dorm.
“That’s so cool, Fee. Your own apartment. I can’t wait to see it.”
“I can’t believe how lucky I was to get it,” Fiona said. “It’s like the place was there waiting for me.”
“It was waiting for you,” Melissa said.
“What d’you mean?”
“After we talked over Thanksgiving, I knew you needed something, so I went to Vincent. He and I created a spell to help you.”
Fiona stared at the silver and black of the payphone. What do you say when your best friend practices witchcraft on you without your knowledge or permission? What do you say when she betrays your trust? And what do you say to her when you think she’s gone off the deep end?
“How could you?” was all she managed to squeeze out.
“I did it for you, Fee. You’re my best friend in the whole world, and you were desperate. You were there for me last year. I want to be here for you now.”
“But Vincent? And witchcraft?”
“Not witchcraft, white magic. Y’know, Wicca. Our intentions were all good. Please don’t be mad.” Melissa was on the verge of tears.
Fiona’s anger softened. Nothing bad had happened. She had gotten the apartment she wanted. “Thank you, I guess. It’s just, well, I feel weird about you telling Vincent about my problems.”
“He and I are getting really close,” Melissa said.
“What about Scott? Please don’t blow it with him.”
“Don’t worry. Vincent was really into Wicca a couple of years ago, and when he found out I was interested, he opened up to me. Told me how he wants to start a coven and make me the high priestess.”
“You’re asking for trouble,” Fiona said.
“I’m not jumping into anything. You can’t start a coven overnight. It takes lots of planning, and we’ve gotta find members. I thought you might be interested.”
“That’s not who I am,” Fiona replied.
“I thought so. When are you gonna get past your mom’s bullshit?”
“This isn’t about my mom’s bullshit. This is me. Are you mad at me?” Fiona was feeling guilty about judging her friend.
“No, I’m not mad, just disappointed. We’ll talk more when you get home for Christmas. Still best friends?” Melissa didn’t want an argument either.
“Still best friends.” But for how long?
Fiona spent the rest of the afternoon doing research for her art history paper. By the time she met Reuben for dinner, she had all but forgotten her conversation with Melissa.
“And I don’t have to sneak you in,” she told Reuben at dinner. “I think things are gonna work out.”
“One day at a time. You gotta have faith,” Reuben said.
“Faith? Please don’t remind me of my mom. I’m feeling too good.”
“There’s your mom’s fear-based faith, and then there’s faith that the universe provides. That’s what I’m talking about.”
Fiona’s view of the world was expanding day by day. It was much greater than the guilt-based heaven and hell with which she grew up.
“We’re meant to be together,” Reuben said. “This proves it. Now that next semester is a done deal, we can focus on Canada.”
Fiona offered a weak smile and said nothing.
“C’mon. Let’s celebrate. I scored some dynamite pot over Thanksgiving. We can do a doobie on the way to the Puff. Then I’ll show you a new book I got called the Kamasutra.”
“Sounds Indian. What’s it about? Meditation?”
“Kind of. It’s the ultimate ancient Indian guide to sex. It’s got, like, a million different positions and ways to get it on.”
“No shit? What are we waiting for?” She jumped from her seat, nearly toppling their table.
“Hey, it’s not just about fucking. It’s got all kinds of wisdom about philosophy and the world,” he said.
“Don’t worry, we’ll get to that. First things first.”
She paused, then said, “I love you.” It had taken all her courage to say it without being prompted. It felt good.
“That’s the first time you’ve ever said it without me saying it first. That’s the second-best thing that happened today,” Reuben said.
Chapter 51
“I was hoping we could spend our New Year’s Eve together, but something’s come up,” Reuben said about a week before their winter break.
“Bummer,” Fiona said. “I really wanted to come to your house. What happened?”
“It’s my grandma’s eightieth birthday. She and my grandpa invited the whole family up for a party. Everybody’s gonna be there. My aunts, uncles, cousins, everybody.”
Fiona did her best to hide her disappointment. “Where do they live?”
“Rochester, New York. That’s where my mother grew up. I wish I could invite you, but it’s a small house and, well, y’know.”
She did know. It meant three weeks at home. No Reuben. Another lonely New Year’s Eve.
“It’s only for a few days. I think we’re leaving on the twenty-ninth. We’ve gotta be back that Sunday so my sisters can go back to school. We’ll see each other before and after, so it won’t be a big deal.”
To Fiona, it was a big deal. Her thoughts drifted back to the year before. The farmhouse. The guy with no name. The filthy bed. The last time she had sex with someone besides Reuben. She had kept her promise and steered clear of the place. What if the only New Year’s party was at that house? Would she go, or would she stay home and watch Guy Lombardo and his orchestra with her parents? One choice was worse than the other.
Fiona snapped back to the conversation.
“Rochester’s not far from Canada,” Reuben said. “I thought I’d take a drive to the border and check things out. I’m also gonna feel out my relatives and see what they think about me evading the draft.” Reuben avoided the label “draft dodger,” saying it was derogatory.
She didn’t need to think about Canada on top of a lonely New Year’s Eve.
Back in the dorm, Fiona did her best to rationalize the situation. Reuben was right. It was nothing more than a short visit. It wasn’t as though he would be spending the holiday with another girl. What was so special about New Year’s Eve anyway? What made it different from any other night?
“Plenty!” She surprised herself by saying the word out loud. It was the most important party night of the year. If a girl didn’t have a date on New Year’s Eve, she was nothing. Fiona also believed that how she spent New Year’s Eve was how the next year would unfold.
But that’s not true. Look how fucked up last New Year’s Eve was and how good this year turned out.
“Fiona O’Brien! Phone call.” The words pushed through the fog of her thoughts. She ran down the hallway to the public phone.
“Hello?” she asked tentatively.
“Fee, it’s me.” Melissa’s voice was a welcome surprise.
“What’s up, Lissie?”
“I just wanted to see when you’re coming home and if you and Reuben were gonna hang out on New Year’s.”
“I’ll be home on Friday, but no Reuben. I’m so bummed—”
“Far fucking out,” Melissa interrupted.
“No, it’s not. I—”
“Listen, there’s a big New Year’s Eve party that we have to go to.”
“You’ll be with Scott, which is cool. I’m not going to any party by myself,” Fiona said.
“You don’t have to. That’s why I’m calling. I wanted to tell you about Vincent.”
“Yeah—”
“Well, he doesn’t have anybody to go with either. We thought maybe you could go with him.”
One alarm after another went off in Fiona’s head. She thought back to the spell Melissa and Vincent had supposedly worked on her. What would a date with him look like? What would she tell Reuben?
“I don’t want to cheat on Reuben,” Fiona said after a long pause.
“C’mon, Fee. It’s not really a date. You, me, and Scott will meet Vincent at the party. I promise he won’t leave with us.”
It all sounded safe enough. “Why would he want to be with me? He knows about Reuben.”
“It’s people from the college, mostly newspaper staff,” Melissa said. “Vincent said it’s really important for him to be there. Something about the night being special for him. He’s older than most of the kids. He said he feels uncomfortable being there by himself.”
Fiona couldn’t imagine Vincent feeling uncomfortable in any situation.
“He feels a connection to you ‘cause of the tarot.”
“Really?” Fiona was flattered that someone with Vincent’s experience with the tarot would be interested in her.
“What do you think? New Year’s Eve with your parents, or a party with us?” Melissa’s offer was getting harder and harder to refuse.
“There’s no way I’m screwing the guy. He’s gotta know that right up front.”
“He just wants somebody to hang with at the party.”
“Well, maybe,” Fiona said.
“Cool. I’ll let Vincent know,” Melissa said before Fiona could change her mind.
“Make sure you tell him what the deal is,” Fiona said.
“You can trust me,” Melissa replied.
But can I trust myself? Fiona wondered as she hung up the phone.
Chapter 52
“Lissie and Scott invited me to a New Year’s Eve party.” Fiona decided to be honest with Reuben about the party but thought it best not to mention Vincent. It wasn’t a date, she told herself. She would arrive and leave with Melissa and Scott. Vincent would just be one of the people who happened to be there. The party was at the duplex apartment of a married couple, not the farmhouse with a floor full of bedrooms open for sex.
“I’m glad you’ll have someplace to go. I know how much you don’t want to hang with your parents,” Reuben said.
“You’re okay with me going?” she asked.
“As long as you don’t leave with some long-haired hippie.” Reuben pulled Fiona close.
“Other than Lissie, you mean, right?”
“Unless you’ve got a thing for her,” he laughed.
If you only knew. “C’mon, let’s go to dinner.”
Back in her dorm room, Fiona lay on her bed and did her best to objectively analyze her life. She was in a committed relationship with someone she loved. Someone who trusted her. Someone she didn’t want to disappoint. She recited the now-familiar self-talk. She was older, wiser, stronger. She had outgrown the superficial party crowd at home. She believed in herself and her personal power and was confident she would remain faithful to Reuben.
Melissa was noticeably distant during the holiday week, presumably busy with Scott and her family. They finally met at the diner for breakfast three days after Christmas.
When Fiona spotted Melissa in the booth, she noticed her friend’s face was pale, accentuating the dusty smudges under her eyes. She took drag after drag on her cigarette with barely a pause for clean air. It took her a moment to lift her eyes as Fiona sat down.
“What’s happenin’, Lissie? You look tired.”
Melissa mumbled into her coffee cup and stubbed out her cigarette.
Fiona took a hard look at her friend’s red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes devoid of makeup, strings of unwashed hair falling in her face, and coffee stains on her pilled gray sweater. It was a version of Melissa she had not seen since her abortion.
“Did you and Scott break up?”
“No.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“I can’t talk here.” Melissa’s voice trembled.
Fiona’s frustration was building. She wanted to say, Why is everything such a crisis? You’re a fucking drama queen. Instead, she calmly suggested, “How ‘bout we go to your car?”
Melissa threw some money on the table and headed for the door without looking at Fiona. Fiona followed, tripping over her feet as she tried to keep up.
The moment Melissa closed the door of her midnight-blue Beetle, an ear-piercing scream flew from her mouth. She beat the steering wheel, shrieking, “No! No! No!”
Fiona’s immediate reaction was to run from the insanity of the moment, to run from this friendship that took so much and gave little in return. Instead, she put her arm around Melissa’s shoulder, kissed her cheek, and said, “C’mon, how bad could it be?”
Melissa hyperventilated between screams, buried in a panic attack that wouldn’t stop.
“Calm down, Lissie.” Fiona’s voice was smothered by her friend’s cries. “Lissie! I’m going inside to get you some water. Don’t move.”
By the time she returned with a Styrofoam cup of water, Melissa had regained her composure. She took a sip, turned her ragged face to Fiona, and said her first intelligible words. “I’ve made a terrible mistake. It’s the end.”
“The end of what? Please. Tell me what happened.”
“V-Vincent. He’s evil. He’s been using me.”
Fiona realized her instincts about Vincent had been right. He was trouble, and now he had hurt Melissa. Maybe she wouldn’t have to be with him at the New Year’s Eve party. She wouldn’t have to keep anything from Reuben.
“So just get away from him. It’s not like you’re dating,” Fiona said.
“Okay, here goes. I’ll tell you everything,” Melissa began. “Remember I told you that Vincent had experience in Wicca?”
Fiona had heard more than enough of Wicca, magic, and spells, but she couldn’t abandon Melissa when her friend needed her.
“He told me he was into white magic and only used spells for good. Last week he told me that was a lie. He’s really into black magic. Satanism.”
Satanism? Fiona thought of her mother’s warnings about the Devil. According to Mrs. O’Brien, there was a constant struggle in heaven and on earth between good and evil, between God and the Devil. Accepting Jesus was the only way to safeguard against Satan. The primal fear instilled by her mother returned.
“You know that ring he has? He showed it to me. It’s a reversed pentagram.” Melissa shivered. “Y’know, when the five-pointed star has two points at the top? That’s the sign of black magic.”
Fiona had seen the band of Vincent’s ring when she was home for Thanksgiving and remembered how he wouldn’t let anyone see the emblem on the front. Was this the reason?
“Are you sure he didn’t just turn it upside down to mess with you?” she asked.
“No, he was serious. I’m gonna tell you the whole story. You can judge for yourself.” Melissa paused to light a cigarette. “Back when he was in California, he sold his soul to the Devil.”
Fiona questioned the existence of the soul as well as the Devil. She wondered how it was possible to sell something that may not exist to a mythical being.
