Entwined - SF5, page 23
"It doesn’t to me, Baby. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable around my teammates. I’ve been in athletics for a long time, and I’m really used to being naked around people. I don’t want to change the way that I behave. So please try to understand and to trust me."
"I do trust you. But I’ve got the feeling that Jordan is used to getting what she wants, and I got some vibes that she might want you," she said, looking carefully at Ryan to gauge her reaction.
"If she was in the locker room stark naked with her legs spread wide open begging me to do her, I wouldn’t give her a second thought. You are my only love. Emphasis on the ‘only’. So please try to accept this. Okay?"
"I’ll try," she agreed. "But don’t take anyone with you if you go to get your clitoris pierced. That’s over the line."
They spent the next hour playing and making love. At noon Jamie awakened from her stupor and looked over at her partner. "We should get up so we can get some lunch."
She rolled over with a moan. "I’m too tired," she whined. "You did me good, Baby. Too good."
"Come on," she said as she tried to pull her to a sitting position, astounded, as usual, by how tremendously heavy Ryan was. She got no assistance whatsoever, finally giving up and getting out of bed alone.
Starting the shower, she stood in the bath, waiting for the water to warm up. "Oh, I wish I had someone to shower with me," she said aloud. "I have some spots that are particularly hard to clean…"
"Need a hand?" a sexy, low, voice purred in her ear, while warm hands grasped her around the waist..
"You are sooooo easy," Jamie laughed.
"Only for you, Babe," Ryan insisted. "Only for you."
Ryan returned home from work a little after three, and just as she got in the door her pager went off. "Oh great," she muttered as she looked at the familiar area code. She flopped down on the loveseat in the living room, portable phone nestled against her ear. "Sara? Ryan. What’s up?"
"Hi, Ryan," Sara’s soft voice replied. "Nothing much is up, but the bar exam starts tomorrow, and after that I’m taking off for a long-delayed vacation. I just wanted to let you know in case you needed to get in touch about your search."
"Hey, that’s really nice of you, " Ryan said sincerely. "I sure wish you good luck. I remember when Brendan was taking the bar–he was a basket case!"
"I’m not much better," she admitted. "I’m calling everyone I know who isn’t taking it, just to keep my mind off of it."
"You can rest assured that I’ll never take it," Ryan laughed. "I do appreciate your concern about my search, Sara. I’m at the point now of having to contact all of the girls from the team, and that’s going to be a real bitch."
"Look, Ryan," she said. "I know we’ve been over this before, and I’m sure you’ve thought about it a million times, but is there anyone else you could have told? Even inadvertently?"
Ryan took in a deep breath and shook her head. "It wouldn’t have been too hard to figure out I was a lesbian, Sara," she admitted. "I was draped around some woman every chance I got. But I didn’t tell anyone about what happened between us." Ryan had been idly rubbing Duffy’s head during the entire conversation. Her hand stilled as she was hit by a thought. "I take that back, Sara. I told one person–Father Pender–but that was during Confession, and I’m sure he would never breach his vows and reveal anything he heard in that manner."
"No, I agree, Ryan, he wouldn’t do that." She paused thoughtfully and said, "It surprises me that your father hustled you off to Father Pender, too."
"Too?" Ryan asked, slightly puzzled. "You talked to Father Pender?"
"Talk is a little strong," she admitted. "My father marched me over there and stood guard while I went to confession."
Ryan sat in stunned silence, listening to her own heartbeat pounding in her chest. "He wouldn’t," she mumbled. "He couldn’t!"
Understanding the implication, Sara rushed to reassure her. "Ryan, Father Pender takes his vows very, very seriously. I know he’s a gossip, but he would never do something so horrible!"
"I find it nearly impossible to believe too, Sara. But it sure as hell adds up!"
Sara was quiet for a moment, letting her analytically trained mind consider all of the facts. "When did you tell him?" she asked.
"Umm…right before school started. Probably August sometime. I was in Ireland all summer, and I know it was after that. How about you?"
"Around the same," she recalled.
Ryan paused for a moment and thought about the timing. "Why so late? I would think your parents would have gotten over it by then."
Sara’s sigh was audible, nearly louder than her voice, which said, "They would have, if I had. When I was getting ready to go to Cal, I told my mother that I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I told her that I just had to call you…" her voice trailed off, and Ryan thought she could detect some tears.
"What happened?" Ryan asked gently.
"She told my father. Apparently she hadn’t said anything before. He really flipped out and scared the living daylights out of me, Ryan. He’s normally so quiet and calm, but he was just wild!"
"What did you say to Father Pender?"
"I was so scared I don’t have any idea what I said! All I know is that he gave me a long lecture about avoiding temptation and told me that I had to resist my ‘urges’."
"Damn! He didn’t say anything like that to me," Ryan revealed. "He tried to get me to join that group that urges abstinence, but I think he could tell I thought it was bullshit."
"I rather doubt he would have tried to talk you out of anything, Ryan," Sara said fondly. "You were never the type who could be coerced."
Ryan thought about that for a moment, and realized that at 18 Sara would have appeared quite malleable. It wasn’t that she didn’t have a strong character, but she was always very focused on pleasing the authority figures in her life, something Ryan had yet to get the hang of.
"Well, Sara, it looks like old Father Pender is going to have a very pissed off visitor in about an hour, and he’d better be in a talkative mood!"
"Are you sure you want me to go with you?" Jamie was nearly jogging to keep up with her long-legged lover. They were cruising up the hill between Ryan’s home and the church, and the smaller woman was nearly out of breath.
Ryan slowed, doing her best to calm her racing heart. "I’m just so pissed off I want to throttle him!" she cried. "He’s like family to us! I swear, Jamie, if he admits this, I’m going to the Archbishop! I’ll not have him betray another person if I can help it!"
"Honey," Jamie said with as much calm as she could muster, "this isn’t the way to approach someone that you want to admit something. I really think you need to calm down."
Ryan slowed even more, acknowledging that her partner was correct, but feeling very out of control. She nodded once, shoving her hands in her pockets roughly, a decided slump to her normally proud shoulders. They walked the rest of the way in silence, but instead of going to the rectory where the priest lived, Ryan detoured to the church and sat down in a pew to gather her jumbled thoughts. Jamie sat right next to her, a hand on her back, providing as much solace as she could by her mere presence. It took about fifteen minutes, but Ryan finally stood and stretched, getting some of the accumulated tension out of her back.
She extended a hand to Jamie and slid her arms around her when she joined her. "I really think I need to talk to him alone," she whispered. "I think he’ll be unwilling to reveal much if we’re both there. Will you wait for me?"
"Of course, Love. You take as long as you need, Ryan. I’ll be waiting right here."
The minutes ticked by, with Jamie becoming more anxious with the passing of each one. Almost 30 minutes had passed and Jamie was on the verge of going to find her partner when a long frame cast a massive shadow down the center aisle. Jamie was on her feet in a flash. "Are you okay?" she asked, her eyes darting to Ryan’s pale face. Her hands automatically went to Ryan’s arms, running up and down them slowly.
"Yeah. I’m all right," she muttered. "Sick to my stomach, and a massive headache, but I’m fine."
"Wanna talk about it?" Jamie wasn’t going to rush her. She knew Ryan would tell all when she was ready and that trying to get her to talk before she was ready was a wasted effort.
"Later," she mumbled, needing some time to sort out the jumble of emotions that were causing her head to pound.
Ryan didn’t want to go to her family’s home, even though they were in the neighborhood. She knew that she could not help but show how upset she was, and she was not in the mood for another scene. Instead, they grabbed a quick bite and headed back to Berkeley. Jamie drove since Ryan was too scattered to focus. Placing one hard on the steering wheel and the other on Ryan’s leg, Jamie gave it a gentle rub. "Anytime you want to talk about it, just let me know, Love. No rush."
Ryan smiled over at her, once again pleased beyond measure that her partner respected her boundaries. "I hate growing up," she muttered, lowering her seat as far back as she could, and staring at the roof of the car.
"Pardon?" Jamie couldn’t figure out how this was on point, but she knew Ryan would explain herself.
"It was nice being a kid and believing that adults knew what the hell they were doing. I trusted everyone when I was young, and even though I know you can’t survive like that, I really miss those days sometimes."
Patting her thigh Jamie reminded her of one important benefit of adulthood. "Yeah, but you didn’t get to have sex with the girls on your sleepovers," she teased, deciding that a little levity was a good thing.
As usual, a delighted grin settled on Ryan’s face at the thought of how much fun their current sleepovers were. "I guess I’ll trade being jaded for sex," she agreed, knowing she was getting the better end of the bargain, "but I’m still mighty pissed off."
"Wanna tell me about it?" Jamie asked.
"I’ll spare you the rationalizing and get to the bottom line," Ryan agreed. "Mrs. Andrews talked to him a day after everything went down. But she didn’t talk to him in the confessional. They just had a chat. Because she didn’t tell him to keep it confidential, he doesn’t feel that he was under any obligation to do so."
Jamie’s mouth dropped open, and she cast so many glances at her partner that Ryan finally said, "I don’t want to fall into the Bay, Honey. Keep your eyes on the road."
"Ryan, that’s…that’s…that’s criminal! My grandfather isn’t bound by any vow to keep confidences, but he sure as hell does! You don’t skate by on a technicality!"
"I agree, Honey, but he certainly did."
Jamie was still too flabbergasted to think clearly, but she managed to pull herself together enough to ask, "Did he at least apologize?"
"Nope. He truly doesn’t think he did anything wrong, Jamie. Because he talked to Sister Mary Magdalene before Sara or I confessed, he doesn’t think he violated our trust. As a matter of fact, he seems to think he was protecting me!"
"Get out!"
Blazing green eyes locked on Ryan and, once again, she reminded her partner that she was driving a car. "Focus, Babe," she said, pointing at the roadway.
"How on earth does he justify that?" Jamie was dutifully staring at the road, but her hands were gripping the wheel furiously, her knuckles whitening under the pressure.
A deep sigh came from Ryan’s lungs, and she ran both hands through her hair, settling it against her shoulders. "He said that he knew that word would get out, and he wanted someone in authority to know the truth about what had happened. He claims he went to Mother Superior and told her that he knew both Sara and me, and that we were goods kids who were just having a tough time with this. I don’t have any reason to doubt him on this, since he was so forthcoming about everything else, but he swears that she’s the only one he told."
"And she told the other students??!!"
"Don’t know. Gonna find out," Ryan declared with a fierce glower on her normally placid features.
Part 13
As soon as Ryan returned from her team run on Wednesday morning she was on the phone with her old school, trying to schedule an appointment with the principal.
"Any luck?" Jamie asked as she hung up.
"Yeah, but not until tomorrow. I hate to drive back across the bridge in morning traffic, but I need to talk to her as soon as possible."
"I’ve got an idea," Jamie said.
"What’s that, Love?"
"I’m going over to help Colm this afternoon, and I figured that as long as I was on that side of the bay, I might ask Mother to dinner. She’s leaving for Rhode Island on Friday, you know."
"Nope. Had no idea." Ryan tossed her feet onto the floor and stood to do some stretching.
Jamie watched her bare body contort for a few minutes, finding that her train of thought had abruptly left the station.
"You were saying?" Ryan prompted, knowing that her partner was a sucker for her stretching routine.
"Oh, right. Umm…" she fumbled, trying to recall what in the heck she had been talking about. "Oh! I got it!" she said proudly. "Mother goes to Rhode Island for the entire month of August to see her extended family. I’m sure I’ve told you that."
"Honey, your mother is always going somewhere. I’m sure I haven’t learned her schedule yet."
"Well, this trip is a given," Jamie declared. "I just thought that it would be nice to have a little sendoff for her. She’s been so extraordinarily nice to us since I came out to her."
"Hey," Ryan said softly, sitting on the bed next to her partner. "I’m happy to go, Babe. Just tell me where and when."
"I’m meeting Colm at two, so why don’t you come over to Niall’s when you’re finished with work. Then we can stay over at your house and be close to your appointment."
"Sounds like a plan," Ryan agreed. "I’ll look forward to escorting the lovely Evans women tonight."
They decided on Zuni Cafe since it was close to the freeway and not too far from Ryan’s. After they were settled with a nice bottle of wine and a large bottle of mineral water for Ryan, Catherine thanked them for inviting her, and spent a few minutes praising how lovely each young woman looked.
The older woman seemed to know a lot about food, and she made several comments on the menu while they perused it. Calling the server over, she asked some pointed questions about the origin of the oysters, what type of parmagianno cheese was used on the Caesar salad, and other details that were far over Ryan’s head. When all of her questions had been answered, Catherine asked if they minded if she ordered for them. Ryan was glad for any help, so she readily accepted the offer. Jamie smiled and also assented.
The menu was not overly large, and Ryan noted with surprise that Catherine ordered every appetizer on the menu. "That’s one way to avoid having to make the tough decisions," Ryan laughed.
"I’ve noticed that you seem to have a very healthy appetite, Ryan," Catherine smiled in return. "I want to make sure that you don’t leave hungry."
"That rarely happens, Mother," Jamie informed her. "She invariably steals at least a quarter of my entrée."
"It’s my duty!" Ryan soberly informed her companions. "I’m a charter member of the ‘Clean Plate Club’."
While the younger women devoured their large entrees, Catherine nibbled on a small caviar appetizer that could not have satisfied even Caitlin’s tiny stomach. However, as she seemed perfectly content with her choice, neither woman commented. "Ryan," she said when the entrees were cleared from the table, "are you aware of my annual pilgrimage to Newport to visit my family?"
She nodded briefly, "Yes, Jamie’s told me that you go for a month every year. Is this your mother’s or father’s family, Catherine?"
"Mother’s," she said. "My father’s family has been in California since the Gold Rush."
Mine’s been here since the Summer of Love, Ryan thought, but she wasn’t sure how Catherine would get her joke, so she kept her thought to herself.
"I know this is sudden," Catherine said, showing a little hesitation, "but this year I wanted to see if Jamie would accompany me for part of the time."
Jamie had never felt quite as trapped as she did at that moment. Her mother was being more connected and more understanding about her situation than she could have ever dreamed possible, and she was being extremely cordial to Ryan. To say no would be callous and disloyal, but she would honestly rather go over Niagara Falls in a barrel than spend a month with her tedious relatives. Her face must have reflected her feelings because Catherine said, "If you’re terribly opposed, don’t give it another moment’s thought, Dear." But even in this short exchange, she could see the disappointment register in the deep brown eyes.
"No, no, it’s not that," she hastened to explain, even though it was. "I just don’t know if we can work it out. School starts early this year and I have my golf tryouts..."
Ryan, always helpful, interjected, "We’ve got most of August free, Honey. School doesn’t start until August 23, remember?"
"Thanks, Hon," she said with a rigid smile. "Well, I guess that settles it then," she added. "When would you like me?"
"Any time you can spare would be wonderful, Dear. Why don’t you two discuss it, and call me in Rhode Island?"
"Okay," Jamie agreed. "But I can only spare a week," she declared. "Even at that I don’t know if it’ll be bearable to be around me." At her mother’s questioning glance she explained, "It’s hard for me to go play golf without her."
As she reached over and grasped her lover’s hand, they shared a terribly tender smile that caused Catherine to say, "It didn’t dawn on me that a short separation would be hard for you both. I don’t want to cause any discomfort, girls. We can do this another time."
"No," Ryan said firmly. "I think it would be good for you two to have some time together. And Jamie and I can see if absence truly does make the heart grow fonder."
Jamie smiled gently at her partner and said, "There are limits to everything, Sweetheart; I could not possibly be any fonder of you."
Ryan didn’t reply verbally, but her love-filled eyes spoke volumes. It was actually a little too intimate for Catherine to witness, so she called the waiter over and asked for the dessert cart. Just as she suspected, once Ryan had a dazzling array of sweets in front of her, she broke the tender exchange and got down to the business of eating.
