Lazy Dungeon Master: Volume 5, page 1
Prologue
Heya, the name’s Keima Masuda! I’m the Dungeon Master of this here [Cave of Greed]! But keep that a secret from everyone, okay? Dungeon Masters die if their Dungeon Cores get destroyed, and I sure don’t want to die just yet. I just want to sleep and be lazy.
Thus, I need to build an impenetrable dungeon fully capable of protecting the Core. But that takes a lot of DP, or Dungeon Points. You need to lure people into your dungeon to get DP. And that’s exactly what I did. I took the [Ordinary Cave], a single room dungeon infested with bandits, and expanded it in every way to safely attract visitors. While I was at it, I built an inn nearby to squeeze extra DP out of them. I got to sleep there too, of course. Two birds with one stone.
One thing led to another and I ended up getting involved with Haku, my dungeon’s older sister, before accidentally breaking a hole into a neighboring dungeon... A lot happened, and for some reason, a town ended up being built around my inn. I ended up as its town chief and named it Goren Town. It wasn’t really my style, but better that than letting some good-for-nothing force me into working. And of course, I don’t do any of the actual town chief work myself!
A lot happened last winter too. Rin, a real pain in the butt Slime monster taking the form of a black wolf, took over part of my dungeon to hibernate, and on top of that, the High Priestess of the Holy Kingdom came to spread the teachings of the Church of Lux, also known as the Church of Fucking Destroy all Dungeons. Well, I somehow managed to survive the both of them.
The High Priestess didn’t leave much behind except the contents of her wallet, but Rin gave us some very useful weapons known as Gravity Bombs. But how strong are they, really? Not strong enough to destroy a whole dungeon, right...? I honestly don’t know where to store them. They said the explosion would be “pretty big” or something, but...
Anyway, yeah. A lot happened and I gotta wonder why. I never intended for the dungeon to get so big, but now there’s a whole town around it with plenty of people. It kind of feels like I’m walking down a road someone paved for me. Where is this road taking me?
...It’s been about a whole year. I’ve gotten tired of counting the days since I was summoned to this world.
Suddenly, someone opened my door without knocking.
“Keima. Do you have a second to talk?” A beautiful young blonde girl walked into my room without an ounce of hesitation. She’s the avatar of the Dungeon Core, or in other words, my partner.
...Let me explain something. As Dungeon Master, I’ll die if the Core of my dungeon gets destroyed. But even if I die, the Core—this girl—will be just fine! Oh, and why am I working as a Dungeon Master at all if that’s the case? ’Cause she summoned me. Me. As a monster. She summoned me as a monster. Through a gacha system, even. Some god or whatever talked to me on the way here and asked me to be a Hero, but those Heroes mainly just destroy Dungeon Cores. They’re called Soldiers of God by the dungeons themselves. But I’m a Dungeon Master. Hahaha! As if I’d do all that. I just wanna sleep, anyway.
...Oh, right. Some Heroes did eventually come to our dungeon. I survived one... or rather, ripped him off and stole his money... and beat back the other... or rather, stuck him into a solid stone wall to live in partially suspended animation with full consciousness for the rest of his potentially eternal life. Given how I’m working as town chief just fine now, well, you could say it all ended well. I was fine as long as I could sleep peacefully. Just no eternal sleep, please.
I turned to look at Rokuko.
“So? What’s up?”
“I wanted to ask about the dungeon. You built a lot of stuff while that annoying slime dog was hibernating here, right?”
“Ahhh, yeah, I made some big changes. Mainly deep inside the dungeon.” Our dungeon started with a simple entrance complete with normal goblins. After that was a labyrinth, then a Puzzle Area (mostly destroyed by Rin), then a spiral staircase, then a storeroom area which split into four branches. One was the magma area which Rokuko built, leading into the neighboring [Flame Caverns]. One was the plains area, which I built because I wanted to see what the dungeon’s weather/atmosphere function looked like (the plains looked endless, but had invisible walls which would block progress). One was the coliseum area behind the original Core Room. And finally, one was the (half-finished) new Puzzle Area which I had built from the wreckage of the old Puzzle Area.
However, over the winter, I finished the new Puzzle Area, and built a second Core Room behind it. The other Core Room had a Dummy Core. This new Core Room at the bottom of our dungeon had two layers, with the main room having a Dummy Core and the hidden room having another Dummy Core. Why did I do something that seemingly pointless? Well, because I honestly didn’t know where to put the real Core.
There were skills such as the High Priestess’s {Trinity} that could prevent moving the Dungeon Core effectively, so I wanted to keep it in the safest place possible. But even with that in mind, it wasn’t smart to just put the Dungeon Core in the deepest place possible. The adventurers of this world already know that there’s a strong tendency for Dungeon Cores to be at the bottom of a dungeon. That’s why I initially built the hidden layer of the room, to keep the real Dungeon Core... but changed my mind after considering the real possibility that someone might see through the trick.
In the end, I decided to hide the real Dungeon Core in one of the coliseum area’s light fixtures. The Core was, ultimately, just a shiny ball on the outside. The best place to hide a shiny ball is in the middle of a bunch of Light magic tools—that is, equally shiny balls. It seems kinda risky, but eh, it’ll be fine for now. I’ll need to make some changes if someone capable of smashing through the new puzzle area comes around, though.
“Uh-huh, uh-huh. Our dungeon’s a lot stronger now, huh? Ah... Right, Keima. I’m going to be leaving the dungeon for a bit, is that okay?”
“Leaving the dungeon? Uh, sure... Where are you going?” I had no idea where she might be wanting to go. Maybe she had some business in Tsia or Pavella?
“The yearly gathering of dungeon cores is coming up.” Oh yeah... I remember her mentioning that at some point.
“You don’t need me to come with you?”
“Mmmm. I’ve never seen anyone bring their Master with them. I don’t think you can come. Don’t worry, I’ll be back in two or three days, probably. I couldn’t go last year because of the bandits.” So basically, not much will be different.
“Alright. So, when is it?”
“Oh, um, today.” Rokuko’s body began to shine gently.
“Er, is that...”
“Uh-huh. I’ve gotta go now, bye bye. Not that I really want too.” A magic circle briefly enveloped Rokuko, and then, with a pop, she was gone.
“Wait, by today you meant right freakin’ now?!” C’mon, don’t wait until literally the last second to tell me.
Chapter 1
Rokuko’s Perspective
When the light blinding her vision vanished, Rokuko found herself in the middle of a buffet-styled party being held outside beneath the blue sky. The meeting must have already started, as a red wolf-man was stuffing his face with meat while a golden skeleton drank tea, cackling. In the distance a black dragon gulped beer out of a barrel as a nearby unicorn cheered. It looked like a peaceful party where all manner of species were enjoying themselves in harmony.
However, every single being there was a Dungeon Core. Many of them looked like humans, but the vast majority of them were merely shapeshifting to change appearance. Dungeon Cores like Rokuko and Haku who were human-type from the start were rare, just like Cores of any one particular species were rare.
“Okay...” Rokuko stealthily headed to a corner, as she did every year. She really didn’t like that this year’s meeting was held outside. It just didn’t feel like she was hiding in a corner if there weren’t walls on either side of her.
On her way there, three people (?) walked up to her: A human sized snake, a large frog, and a massive slug.
“Heh, what do we have here? It’s little ol’ Dungeon Core 695. What’re you doing?”
“Geheheh! I’m surprised you’re still alive, really.”
“You didn’t come last year and your DP score was 0. We thought for sure you had died.”
Rokuko jerked and trembled after they called out to her.
“D-Dungeon Cores 650, 651, and 652... I-It’s been a while.”
“HUH?! You forgot the fucking Number!”
“Hiiih?!” Dungeon Core 650 slammed his snake tail against the ground, making a loud noise that made Rokuko stiffen up in fear.
Incidentally, addressing a Dungeon Core with “number”—as in Dungeon Core Number 650—was equivalent to using a respectful honorific. Rokuko would rather die than do that for those three.
“Wh-Why would I do that? We’re all in the 600s group, so yeah.”
“Ahhhh, I can’t hear yoooou. Heheh... Did anyone hear what 695 said from down at the bottom of the rankings?” Dungeon Core 651, the large frog, slid behind Rokuko to block off her escape route.
“You’re being real cocky, y’know?”
“A-Ah...” Dungeon Core 652, the giant slug, plopped a hand (?) on Rokuko’s shoulder. With that, it was done. Three versus one with the three surrounding her. Goosebumps of fear rose on Rokuko’s skin.
The snake brought his face close to Rokuko’s, tongue flitting between his teeth.
“Hssshhh... Heheh. Why don’t you come with us?”
“N-No way, let g
“Don’t worry, it won’t kill you. Geheheheh!”
“Alriiight, time for some squiiishy fun.” They were heading to the corner Rokuko had initially been aiming for, but there was a big difference between choosing to go there and being dragged there. She had wanted to go there so these three wouldn’t find her in the first place.
They were dragging her off, but nobody interfered or cared. It was just a bunch of low rank Dungeon Cores fighting among themselves. Just like you wouldn’t care about a piece of candy swarmed by ants on the ground, most Dungeon Cores didn’t care whatsoever about Rokuko or the three Dungeon Cores bullying her. They were all equally worthless to them.
“Hey, got a fuckin’ second?” Suddenly, a red Salamander appeared. It was Dungeon Core 112, Ittetsu. He was the Core of the fifty-one floor dungeon the [Flame Caverns], which comprised almost an entire volcano. Although he wasn’t a top class Dungeon Core, he was solidly in the upper ranks, using his large wealth of DP to live a slow life with his Master and wife Redra, a Red Dragon. As a member of the 100s group, he even had a good deal of seniority backing him up.
“D-Dungeon Core Number 112?! Do you need us for something, sir?”
“Huh? Ah... Nah. Don’t give a fuck about any of you three. I’m here for Core 695. C’mere.”
“Eh? U-Um, her?”
“Yeah, got a fuckin’ problem with that? What’s your number?”
“C-Core 650! E-Er, I’m a big fan of yours, Dungeon Core Number 112!” As a snake, he couldn’t stick out a hand for a handshake, so he held out his tail instead. But Ittetsu ignored him and called out to Rokuko.
“Like I give a fuck. C’mon, 695.”
“Ummm... Okay.” Rokuko followed after Ittetsu and thereby escaped her three bullies. Dungeon Core 650 watched her go in a daze, his tail still held out.
...Rokuko, after casting {Purification} to get the slug’s slime off her, spoke to Ittetsu.
“U-Ummm, Dungeon Core...... Number 112?”
“Number?! Fuckin’ idiot, drop the polite act. The fuck you doing anyway, lettin’ those jerks boss you around?” Ittetsu turned around and barked right into Rokuko’s face, as if seconds away from biting it off. Given his age, Ittetsu was fairly well known among the Dungeon Cores and thus his loud growls drew attention upon them in stark contrast to how the three bullies had been ignored.
“I-I mean, I’m a super low rank dungeon... I couldn’t talk back with all three of them around me like that.”
“For fuckin’ real? You shittin’ me?” Ittetsu jabbed Rokuko with his flaming Salamander tail. He was obviously holding back, but it still hurt a fair amount. Plus, it was kinda hot. Not that she could complain to the Core that just saved her.
“Heheh. You gotta have a little more faith in yourself. ’Cause I mean, you did beat me!”
“...I only won because of Keima. It wasn’t really my win.”
“Bwahah! That ain’t wrong, and I like the honesty... But you still beat me, kiddo. A Core’s strength includes their Master, y’know? Basically, my strength is half Redra and half the power of love,” Ittetsu cackled.
A stir ran through the crowd. People whispered among themselves in disbelief that Dungeon Core 112 had lost to a low-ranking dungeon. It helped that Ittetsu had intentionally spoken in a loud voice. Rokuko heard a few people wondering out loud, “What kinda dirty tricks did she pull to win?”, but as she had in fact pulled dirty tricks to win, she couldn’t argue back. Though it was a specialized battle with unusual rules in the first place.
“...B-But Keima said the battle ended in a tie, remember?”
“Yeah? Wanna have a second go, then? You can be the fuckin’ defenders this time.”
“Sorry, but I’ll pass. Anyway. Thanks for helping me. See you later, 112.” Rokuko tried to walk away. But, before she could, Ittetsu stopped her.
“Hey, hold up now. Won’t be long before Father drops by. How ’bout we eat up in the meantime? Lotsa good meat here.”
“...But we Dungeon Cores don’t need to eat to survive, so...”
“Nobody’s gonna be mixing in poison or garbage on this table. Don’t sweat it. Or what, you still don’t believe me? Huh? Some gratitude you have.”
“...Ngh. O-Okay, I’ll have a little.” Rokuko timidly bit into the meat that Ittetsu held out. The moment her teeth sunk into it, juices spread through her mouth and a thick meaty flavor covered her tongue. She didn’t know what kind of meat it was, but she did know it tasted great. Niku would love it.
“Man, your face’s a mess. Here, {Purification}.”
“Nom, nom. Th-Thanks.”
“Gahaha! Don’t sweat it.”
Rokuko continued eating to her heart’s content, until eventually, a voice echoed throughout the gathering.
“Greetings, my lovely children. How is everyone doing?” Suddenly, a massive monitor appeared in the sky with a single man on screen. All of the Dungeon Cores looked up at it and the man on it together. That included Rokuko.
“Father... It’s been two years since I saw him.” It was a somewhat dark-skinned man with black hair and golden eyes, known to most Dungeon Cores as Father, though some chose to call him King or God. He wore a priestly blue robe. Half of his face, particularly his eyes, was covered by a mask. His still-visible lips formed a light smile.
Although all the Dungeon Cores knew Father, not a single one of them knew his true identity. The one thing they did know without any doubt was that he had created each of them. That was an unshakable truth. Some Cores suggested that he was Dungeon Core Number 0, the first Dungeon Core, and that all other Cores were merely his Dummy Cores. A surprising many number of them believed it, too. Most Dungeon Cores took human forms precisely because Father himself was a human-type being... or at least, he presented himself as one. For this reason, natural human-type dungeons such as Haku received much jealousy. And truth be told, Haku had intentionally kept Rokuko’s yearly Dungeon Core ranking low partially to shield her from this jealousy.
“Oh dear, there seem to be quite a few of you missing. How sad. Maybe it’s about time for me to make new children. What do you think, Core 1?”
“If you believe that is the right thing to do, Father, then surely it is.” Dungeon Core Number 1, who looked much like a human knight, responded to Father’s question. He was—excluding Father—the oldest, strongest, and most influential being at the Dungeon Core gathering. His status as a Single Number wasn’t for show.
“Mmm. Kind of a boring answer. Does anyone have a second opinion?” As if displeased with Dungeon Core Number 1’s answer, Father asked what the other Cores thought. But nobody answered. Or rather, nobody could answer. Giving a different answer would be equivalent to defying Dungeon Core Number 1. In the first place, few had the audacity to debate with Father, he who was practically a God to them.
“May I speak my thoughts, Father?” But there was one Core who rose their hand. All eyes fell on them, everyone curious to see who valued their life so little.
“Oh? You’ll tell me what you think, Core 89?” Father’s voice beamed with joy. Dungeon Core Number 89... Haku smiled just as brightly.
“Around seventy percent of the 600 batch are still alive. I believe it may be a little too soon for you to make more brothers and sisters. Would it not be better to wait for more to leave us?” Upon hearing Haku’s recommendation, a Core in the ground spat out a sizable ball of black fire into the air.
“You would dare say that, traitor?!” A voice that sounded like a rumbling earthquake filled the air as Dungeon Core Number 5, a Black Dragon, interrupted Haku’s conversation with Father. But Father merely chastised him softly.
“Core 5. I’m talking to Core 89 right now. You can speak your piece next.”
“F-Forgive me, Father! But!”
“I told you to wait your turn, didn’t I? You’re a smart one, Core 5, so you’ll wait nice and quietly, won’t you?”
“A-As you wish...” If he continued to argue despite Father’s suggestion to keep quiet, Dungeon Core Number 5 would be disobeying an indirect order. He had no choice but to back down.
Father spoke to Haku again.
“In that case, Core 89, how many Cores do you think need to leave us before I make more children?”
“Perhaps when there are less than half of the 600 batch left. That is how long you’ve waited before gracing us with new brothers and sisters in the past, after all.”
