Billionaire Hunt (Billionaire Matchmaker Book 2), page 11
I unabashedly spread my legs further apart, granting him better access. He continued to finger me, but his tongue this time began to lick circles around my clit, not actually touching it, just teasing it so it would come out of hiding. And when it finally did he licked it softly and my hips lifted as I cried out in pleasure.
“Erik!”
He slid up next to me and began to stroke my face as his other hand expertly played with my clit. He kissed me as he did it, again with the soft, gentle kisses and he never broke eye contact with me as he lay on his side facing me, bringing me pleasure I’d never experienced before.
I came then, staring into his eyes, the force of my orgasm radiating from my center, but so powerful I had to close my eyes to experience the fullness of it as my blood seemed to rush to head. My orgasm was so strong, so intense that the aftermath made my head hurt.
And it was then that he climbed on top of me.
“You sure? Are you sure you want this? Are you sure you want me?” he asked as he rubbed his cock against my wet folds...my sex was still pulsating and I wondered if I would die from all the pleasure.
“I’m sure,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. I pulled his lips down to mine as he easily slid inside me. I moaned against his lips as he stayed still inside me. Even though he didn’t move my sex was still tightening and pulsing around him, echoes of my previous orgasm still present. But I wanted more and so when he didn’t immediately start moving, I pressed my heels into his buttocks, lifted my hips and began to maneuver his cock in and out of me.
“Keep going, it’s all yours, sweetheart,” he said, before kissing me again and running his hand down the side of my thighs.
I did as I was told, but I couldn’t get him deep enough. “Please, Erik...please...I need more.”
He began to move then and his eyes lit up in pleasure before he buried his head in my shoulder. My hips lifted with each of his thrusts and my pussy greedily locked around his shaft, gripping his cock so that he would stay in deep. I was already coming as he thrust deeper and deeper into me.
“Erik! Don’t stop! Erikkkkkk!” I screamed over and over again. I began to grind my hips with his after each thrust, trying to get him deeper while luxuriating in the feel of him stretching me, filling me, loving me.
And with that thought, my body began to spasm again and Erik kissed my collarbone where his head was buried and kept thrusting into me, deeper, faster, harder. I had to brace my hands against the wall to keep from hurting my head against it, as each of his thrusts, pushed me backward. It would have hurt if I weren’t so wet and ready for him.
And to my surprise I began coming again, reaching orgasm so quickly, I wasn’t prepared for the burst of pleasure that seized me. And then with one last grunt, he thrust deep into me and held himself there, suspended in pleasure as he emptied his seed into me. I shook and wrapped my arm around his back, as his warmth filled me. I was still having spasms, my orgasm still causing my sex to tighten and relax around Erik’s thick shaft.
We stayed in that position for a little bit. I don’t even know how long. It could have been minutes or hours. I know that I fell asleep and I was awakened when I felt him lifting me up and carrying me to bed.
I slipped between the sheets and then cuddled up next to him, my head right under his chin as I lay on his chest.
“I love you, Erik,” I said again sleepily. He didn’t respond. There was only silence and then I felt him take my hand and give it a small squeeze. I was too exhausted to say anything further, but I wasn’t too tired to feel hurt beyond measure. I had just given my mind, body and soul to a man who clearly didn’t love me.
I turned away from him and let the tears fall, as I drifted off into a troubled sleep, well aware of the person who I loved, but didn’t love me in return, softly snoring next to me.
The next morning, I knew before I even turned over that he was probably gone. I sat up stiffly, sore from our lovemaking that had continued throughout the night. He woke me up at least three times during the night.
Once he had taken me roughly from behind, I remember screaming as he mercilessly pounded into me, not in pain, but in pure pleasure. He had been almost animalistic in his lovemaking. And I had liked it, no, I had loved every minute of it. And then while I was sleeping on my side, he had slipped inside me again and we had lazily made love, still half asleep, moaning as we both came simultaneously.
The rest was a blur...I just remember him being inside me, filling me with his seed, kissing my face, making tender, sweet love to me sometimes while roughly taking me other times. And now I was alone.
And honestly, I wasn’t surprised. After how he reacted after I said I love you twice, it was amazing that he had even let me spend the night.
I sat up and wondered if he was even still here or if he had walked out on me and was driving to get away from me at this very moment. Maybe Simon would be outside the bedroom waiting for me with a sad expression on his face, there to explain to me that Erik would no longer be needing my “services”.
I chuckled at the image my mind conjured up of Simon looking highly uncomfortable, but then as I climbed into the shower, I allowed myself to let go of the charade that I was alright and I gave myself permission to just let go. My tears mixed with the water from the shower head and I let myself cry for the mistake I had clearly made. The mistake of loving yet another man who didn’t love me back. I felt humiliated, stupid, and broken.
Worst of all, it was all my fault. I had no one to blame but myself. I was so caught up in self-blame that my brain didn’t process the hands pulling me back toward a hard surface until I realized that hard surface was getting harder against my behind.
My breath caught. “I thought you left.”
“Why would I do that?” he breathed against my ear as he slowly brought his hands up to fondle my breasts. He played with my nipples until they were perfect pink points.
“Bend over,” he commanded and I did as I was told.
He entered me slowly, stretching me with his thick cock until he was fully buried inside of me. He began to thrust into me and I could feel his balls brushing up against me with every thrust. The water was cascading down my back drenching my hair, but I didn’t care. I only cared about the feel of Erik buried deep inside me.
He began to stroke my clit with every thrust he took while keeping me balanced. My knees were buckling in pleasure...I could barely keep myself up.
“You like that, don’t you? Tell me you like it, Misha. Tell me you want more.”
“Moooorrreee,” I said, but it came out more as a moan.
He gave me what I asked for and I wiggled my hips to give him more access.
“God, you’re still tight...still so wet. I’m going to come now, Misha. I’m going to fill you...”
My nipples tightened at his words and my pussy did too. In fact, my whole body tensed and he thrust a couple more times before coming again. My sex squeezed him, gripped his cock and he groaned as he spilled his warm seed into me.
He pulled out this time immediately and helped me stand up. He turned me around to face him.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“When?”
“Anytime? But especially just now?” he looked concern and searched my face.
I shook my head. “No, you didn’t hurt me. I felt good...real good,” I said in a whisper, looking at the shower water puddle beneath our feet before escaping down the drain. I couldn’t meet his eyes right now, there was too much unspoken between us.
He began to wash me then rubbing soap between his hands and gently cleansing me. He started off with my shoulders and then my arms. He circled my breasts and, of course, I gasped and looked up at him. He kissed me softly on the mouth and kept playing with my breasts. My breathing became irregular and he stopped. “I’m supposed to be washing you, not making you come,” he said, more as a reminder to himself than to me.
“Turn around,” he commanded. “Please. Your perfect breasts are distracting me.”
I did as I was told, and he washed my back. It felt good; his hands were warm and confident. He touched my body as if it were his own. I don’t know why I was surprised. He laid claim to my body and my heart a long time ago.
And then to my surprise, he began to wash my hair. I recognized the scent of my favorite shampoo as he emptied it into his hand and began to massage my scalp.
In my eight years with Wyatt, not once had he washed my hair. That alone should have been grounds for divorce, I thought with amusement. Erik gave my scalp a massage and I leaned my head back as he made his way through the rest of my hair.
“That feels amazing,” I said as he slowly rinsed it, threading his fingers through it.
“Almost as amazing as sex?” he asked, finally returning to his humorous self.
“Almost,” I said softly, smiling a little.
When he was done with my hair he went to cut off the faucet, but I wanted to return the favor. Ten minutes later, after I had pleasured his cock with my mouth to the point where we could barely stand, we made love all over again before rinsing off and finally climbing out.
He walked out first and retrieved a towel. I stepped into it and he wrapped me up, tucking me into it like a burrito.
“Thank you.”
Even though we had just been intimate, I didn’t know what to do or say anymore. Emotions were now explicitly involved and that complicated things immensely. I dried my hair with the towel as I walked into Erik’s bedroom. Erik was still in the bathroom as I changed into his nightshirt. I ventured into his kitchen and saw that he had made bacon and eggs.
Everything was cold of course.
He apologized for it as he joined me at the breakfast table.
“I got distracted by your body in the shower. I had just wanted to tell you that breakfast was ready, but showering with you was too tempting to pass up.”
I made a noncommittal sound in reply and kept my eyes down as I ate. Now that it was morning and we were no longer going at it like horny teenagers, the enormity of my decision and the fact that our lovemaking hadn’t been out of love, well at least on Erik’s end, weighed deeply on me.
Erik reached out to take my hand and I pulled away from him.
“Do you regret what happened between us last night?”
I looked up and met his eyes. “No.”
“Tell me the truth,” he said, searching my eyes for what, I didn’t know. “Don’t lie to me, Misha. I don’t deserve that.”
I scoffed. “Since when do we get what we deserve, Erik? I deserve a man who loves me as much as I love him. I deserve a man who isn’t afraid to say it. Isn’t that what I deserve?”
He didn’t answer the question, instead he said, “Tell me if you regret what happened between us. Do you regret that we didn’t use protection?”
I dropped my fork. “Wasn’t that the point? Get me knocked up. Nine months later kick me to the curb. Raise your child alone. Perfect little life. No complications. No feelings. No emotions.”
His eyes became angry. “Don’t fault me because you let your emotions get involved. You know I didn’t want this...this conflict between us. I wanted us to be friends. I warned you that emotions would make this hard and complicated.”
“It’s supposed to be complicated, Erik. Love isn’t easy. Love is hard.”
He stood up and walked away from the table, I followed closely behind him. “You can walk away from me, but I’m not done yet. I fell in love with you and I’m not afraid for you to know it anymore. I’ve been hiding my feelings from you for too long. I love you, Erik.” My voice caught and I continued, “And you can’t tell me that you don’t feel the same thing for me.”
He turned around and his eyes were cold. “Why? Why does everything have to be labeled? We were fine---”
“No! You were fine. I wasn’t. It was tearing me up inside, not being able to tell you how I felt. Fighting to keep those feelings from surfacing. It’s been horrible. I wasn’t fine. We weren’t fine.”
“I was fine!” he yelled at me, catching me off guard. “I was happy and so were you...but it just wasn’t good enough. Being there for you, caring about you, being your lover and your friend just wasn’t enough for you. What’s wrong with you women, constantly wanting more, more, more? It’s no wonder we men die way before you. We can’t keep up with all your wants!”
“My wants? You make it sound like wanting to be loved is some sort of illness, a virus that needs to be cured.”
“It is!” he said with frustration in his voice. “Before you decided that you loved me, we were happy. And now look at us. We’re fighting. You’re angry and hurt. I’m just plain angry and we’re hurting each other for a four-letter word that means nothing.”
“It might not mean anything to you, but it means a lot to me.”
He placed his hands on his waist and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what was going on. “I thought we had the perfect arrangement--”
“Perfect for you,” I spit out.
“Now what do we do?” he said. “Is this what we’re going to bring a child into? A mother who’s bitter because the father doesn’t love her. And a father who’s bitter because he feels betrayed by the mother.”
“Betrayed? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh please, I know it’s not a coincidence that you said you loved me after you agreed to be my surrogate. I’m not stupid. If you wanted to get married again so badly you should have found some other poor sap.”
“What?” I said, not understanding, “How convoluted is your thought process? That’s a rhetorical question, by the way, so please try not to answer. I don’t want to marry you. I don’t know if I ever want to get married again. I told you I loved you because that’s how I feel. I didn’t have any ulterior motives.”
“You didn’t or you don’t?”
“What kind of person do you think I am?”
He shrugged and said coldly, “To tell you the truth, I’m not too sure anymore.”
Tears threatened to escape, but I held them back. “Erik, I think I should leave.”
He looked at me and said nothing for a long moment.
“You see,” he said. “This is what happens when emotions get involved. Things get messy.”
“You wanted this as much as I did, Erik. At any time last night you could have let me leave. You didn’t have to make love to me after you found out how I felt.”
He laughed nervously and said dismissively, “You’re one strong temptation.”
I shook my head. “I’m tempting...I’ll give you that...but you wanted our lovemaking to mean something more as well. Last night and this morning were different and you can’t deny it. You can blame me and be angry, but you can’t deny that you feel something for me too.”
“Last night, my goal was to make a baby and I did my best to ensure that happened. Nothing more. Nothing less. If you think any of last night had anything to do with my feelings, then you’re sorely mistaken.”
“You made love to me.”
“No,” he said cruelly, “I fucked you for a purpose. If you can’t figure out the difference then I feel sorry for you.”
His words shocked me and I wordlessly stood up and walked toward the door.
He immediately looked regretful. “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have said that.”
But I was done listening. ”Just shut up and leave me alone.”
“Misha.”
“Leave me alone!”
“But what if you’re pregnant?”
I nodded. Of course, that’s the only thing he cared about, using me as a vessel. “Then you’ll hear from me...”
“Do I have your word?”
“I’m not the one here who can’t be trusted to keep their word.”
He paused and said from the doorframe, “I never lied to you. I told you I didn’t want a relationship. I don’t do...love.”
“Love isn’t something you do. It’s something you feel and if I have to explain that to you then you’re the one I feel sorry for.”
With that, I walked away and as I took the elevator down all I could think was, “Oh God, what have I done?”
Chapter 10
I opened my eyes and stuck my hand out, trying my best to reach my phone that normally sat on the end table next to the bed. It was pitch black in my room courtesy of the blackout curtains I had recently ordered. I hadn’t been sleeping well for the past couple of weeks and I had assumed the curtains would help. They hadn’t. I wasn’t sleeping well because I had too much on my mind. Way too much. And by too much, I meant Erik. I wondered briefly if he thought of me like I thought of him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. After all, we had just been friends with benefits until I had made the mistake of agreeing to be his surrogate. I had gotten emotionally involved against my better judgment. I was miserable and heart broken. He was probably having a blast, living it up in Monte Carlo or Thailand, wherever the richest of the rich went to hang out. So far my track record for picking the right man wasn’t looking so good.
I continued to fumble around for my phone when I heard a thud as it fell down to the tiled floor. Great, it was now probably under my bed. I pictured it rolling under my bed into the abyss that I never cleaned. I groaned and leaned further over and that’s when I finally noticed the time on my old-fashioned alarm clock. 4:30 AM. Who could be calling me at 4:30 AM? I was finally able to reach the phone and picked it up. Of course whoever had been calling had already hung up. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the brightness of the screen as I looked for the identity of the caller.
It was a missed call from Lacey. I was instantly awake. If Lacey was calling at this hour, something had to be wrong. I immediately jumped out of bed and began to get dressed as I called her back. She didn’t answer. I tried again, practically stumbling as I tried to work myself into my jeans while balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder. The second phone call went straight to voicemail.
I didn’t know what to think. I told myself not to panic. It was probably nothing. I hoped it was nothing. I laid back down thinking that she had just accidentally hit her phone while sleeping when suddenly my phone rang again. This time it was Jude’s number. Now I did begin to panic.
