Highlander’s Bride: Called by a Highlander Book Seven, page 20
“What are ye doing here, brother?” Angus crossed the great hall and hugged Raghnall in a bone-crushing embrace. “I thought ye were gone…”
Laomann and Mairead came, hugging him, greeting him. Catrìona, James, and Seoc approached, wide-eyed and looking like they were a little family.
David came to him, too, carefully looking him over.
David’s intense brown eyes were on Raghnall. “Is she alive? Did you find the doctor?”
Raghnall clapped him on the shoulder. “Aye. Bryanna’s well. Thank ye for the words ye gave me, they might have saved her life.”
James narrowed his eyes. “Then why did you come back?”
Laomann stared at them with confusion, but at that moment, Ualan let out a loud fart and burbling noises came from him, and the unmistakable smell of a child’s poo. Laomann and Mairead hurried out of the great hall.
Raghnall looked around at his family and then his eyes landed on Seoc. “I came for ye.”
Seoc blinked, his expression softening for a moment but then returning to his usual distant apprehension that hurt Raghnall. What did he expect? A hug? Tears of joy? The lad didn’t owe Raghnall his love. Raghnall had been the source of Seoc’s misfortune in the first place.
Angus frowned. “Why didna ye tell us he wasna yer real son? Do ye think we’d have treated him any differently than if he’s yer adopted son?”
Raghnall sighed. They knew. “How do ye ken?”
“I told them,” said Seoc. “Pretending and lying didna sit well with me. And I like it with Catrìona and James.”
In the two sennights that Raghnall had been gone, the lad had grown some meat on his bones, looked healthy and well. And there was something else Raghnall had seen only when Mòrag had been alive.
A child’s carefree joy.
Catrìona’s cheeks reddened. “Not much time passed, brother, but James and I took a big liking to Seoc. He’s been inseparable from us. And, forgive me for assuming that ye wouldna return, but since we ken he isn’t yer real son, we were thinking to adopt him.”
Raghnall blinked, pain stabbing him in the guts. Adopt him? Seoc, for whom Raghnall had lived ever since Mòrag?
James laid his hand on Seoc’s shoulder protectively. “Everyone assumed you’d stay with Bryanna. Clearly, Sìneag intended for the two of you to be together, so…”
Raghnall let out a loud exhale. “I dinna intend to break my word. Angus, ye wanted me to be responsible, are ye happy now? I bloody crossed the river of time for my responsibility, leaving the woman I love, the woman who loves me, behind.”
Silence hung in the group, then Seoc’s quiet voice was like a hammer that broke Raghnall’s world. “Ye didna have to return for me, Raghnall. I want Catrìona and James to be my ma and da. They want me, and I never had both.”
Raghnall felt his jaw muscles work. “I promised—”
“Ye kept yer promise to my ma. Ye brought me here. Ye dinna have to stay and punish yerself and suffer for my sake. Ye promised her to take care of me and protect me. Ye did.”
Raghnall’s stomach dropped as emotions he didn’t know he had gushed within him from an open wound. The wound of being rejected and abandoned. The wound of having left the woman he loved, of having wasted the only chance he had at real happiness.
“Only if ’tis all right with ye, brother,” said Catrìona. “Truly, we didna mean to steal yer lad away. Ye ken that, aye?”
Raghnall nodded, though tears were burning his eyes. He dropped to his knees in front of Seoc and squeezed his wee shoulder. “I am proud of ye, lad. Ye fought like a wee wolf at the battle. Ye have more courage at ten years than many grown men. And ye deserve to have both a ma and a da, and I will never be able to give ye that because I will never marry again. The only wife I ever wanted since yer ma is somewhere I can never go. Tigh na Abhainn is yers. I dinna need it. Catrìona, James, ye both can have it and then pass it on to Seoc once he’s old enough. I never wanted an estate to manage for myself. Treat my tenants well, they’re good people. Eanar, the tacksman, will be yer right hand.”
James frowned. “Are you sure, mate? You don’t have to make this decision right now. You can still think about it.”
Raghnall sighed. “If ’tis all right with Angus and ye, Rogene, I’ll stay for a while here in Eilean Donan. Now that the whole purpose of everything I did for the last few years is accomplished”—he patted Seoc’s head—“I need a wee think about what to do. Where Bryanna lives…it changed quite a bit the way I see things now. And I dinna ken yet what that means for me.”
Angus clapped him on the shoulder. “Of course, brother, stay as long as ye wish. Yer whole life, if ye want. Now that the Ross clan is nae more a threat, we can finally rest and enjoy a wee bit of peace. Though Bruce told me there are still skirmishes and war in the south.”
“I’ve yet to see if he’s going to hang me for killing Euphemia.”
“He wilna, he told me.” Angus pulled Raghnall into a big hug. “And Bruce managed to find a way to work things out with the Earl of Ross. The king granted him an estate that had belonged to the Comyns. Apparently ’tis all it took for him to forgive us for the death of his sister. I’m nae so sure he’d been supportive of her war action towards us anyway.”
“I’m just glad the clan wilna need to carry the consequences of my actions.”
“I’m glad to see ye, brother. And I’m sorry ye canna be with yer wife.”
Raghnall hugged him back and then proceeded into the great hall. But instead of feeling like he’d arrived home, he felt like he was heading right towards the edge of an abyss.
Chapter 34
Two weeks later…
Bryanna held her new passport in her hands, looking at her photo and not recognizing herself.
Not because she’d been thinner and had darker circles under her eyes when the photo was taken, right after she’d been discharged from Dr. Mackinnon Memorial Hospital.
But because the woman in the photo was not her.
That woman, as sickly and skinny as she looked, was happy. There was that sparkle in her eyes, the almost feverish excitement…and love. She’d just gone through the worst and the best time of her life at once. She’d just died and come back to life.
Yes, she was different. Before Raghnall and after Raghnall. Before death and after death.
Perhaps part of her had died the moment her head hit that rock. And as Raghnall had carried her through the threshold of time, perhaps the old Bryanna had never crossed that invisible border. Perhaps when she’d opened her eyes in that hospital, it was the new her.
A shadow appeared behind Bryanna’s shoulder. “Oh, honey, thank God you don’t look that thin anymore,” her mom said.
Bryanna paused just for a moment. The old her wouldn’t say anything, wouldn’t want to contradict her mom or make her mom’s life any more complicated by starting an argument.
But now, she said, “I actually think I look happy.”
A car passed, rattling loudly over the cobblestoned Regent Terrace, the street the American embassy was on in Edinburgh. The street was quiet, a long row of light-brown, three-story Georgian houses ran opposite a thin strip of trees, bushes, and vegetation that separated the small street from a busier road.
Mom cast a shadow on Bryanna’s passport, shielding the rare autumn sunrays as she moved to stand in front of her. “You look delusional, that’s how you look.”
There it was again, Mom’s voice loaded with guilt and hurt, with one goal—to make Bryanna understand how wrong she was and to convince her to never be so reckless with her health again. And Raghnall was the very representation of that recklessness.
“Mom, come on,” said Kris. “She knows she was wrong. She told us.”
Yes, Bryanna had apologized, and she really was sorry for making her family so worried, only this wasn’t exactly fair.
Mom sighed and shook her head, her short, strawberry-blond curls moving. “Let’s go back to the hotel. I’ll call the airline and ask if they can put us on the next available flight. Now that you have your passport, we can finally leave.” She adjusted the edge of the black turtleneck showing under her padded navy jacket. “I can’t wait to get home where I can keep an eye on you. No disappearances there, miss. And I’m so glad that husband of yours left you.”
Kris gasped, her mouth making a perfect, peach-tinted circle. “Mom! Now that is mean.”
It was mean, and it did hurt. But maybe it was the pain Bryanna needed to stand up for herself and finally tell the whole truth.
“You know what, Mom?” Bryanna said, pushing her passport into her new purse—bright purple again because the color reminded her of her adventure. “You think you know me so well?”
“Of course I know you well.”
“Well, did you know that I have psychic dreams?”
Mom frowned.
“Yeah,” Bryanna kept on, “I dreamed of Dad’s death. I dreamed of the teaching job opening. And I dreamed of Raghnall.”
“You dreamed about Dad’s death?” asked Kris, tears in her eyes.
Bryanna met her sister’s gaze, tears welling in her own eyes. “I did. But because I was afraid everyone would think I was insane, I never said anything. I could have told him to go to the doctor that day and get his blood pressure checked. But I was too much of a coward.”
Mom shook her head, also tearing up. “That doesn’t mean anything, hon. Dreams are just dreams. We dream all kinds of crazy things…”
“I saw how it would happen, Mom. What he wore. What he did. Every little detail happened just like I saw it.”
Mom took a step back, hurt and confusion on her face.
“And I saw my own death in Eilean Donan. How Raghnall would carry me out of the castle, unmoving and unconscious. And that was exactly how it happened.”
Mom’s fingers shot to her mouth. “Oh dear God…”
“But there’s something else.” Bryanna was unstoppable now. She’d just told her family her deepest secret, the deepest regret that had eaten her alive for years. What would another piece of shocking news be? “I didn’t just go for a walk in the woods. I actually traveled back in time. That’s why I couldn’t call or send an email or come back. That’s why I didn’t have access to pharmacies. My insulin got smashed and that was it. And Raghnall is a medieval Highlander who crossed time to bring me to a hospital and save my life. He’s my husband. We’re married. And now…” She sobbed. “He’s back in his time, and I’ll never see him again.”
People walked past them, cars swooshed by, but both Mom and Kris were staring at her with a deafening silence.
Bryanna let out a laugh that sounded on the verge of hysteria. “You think I’ve lost my mind, don’t you?”
“Um…honey…” Mom used the calming, careful tone of someone who was talking to a dangerous person. “Let’s just go somewhere and have a cup of coffee…no, perhaps chamomile tea would be better.”
“Kris?” Bryanna looked at her sister, who was staring at her with the same expression her mom had.
“I—I’m not sure I know who you are anymore…”
Bryanna sighed and scoffed. “That’s interesting. Because for the first time in my life, I actually know exactly who I am. Raghnall was right. I do feel like sunshine, I do feel invincible, and I don’t need anyone else to tell me when to be careful and how to live my life. You know, Mom, I learned to ride a horse. I got married to a stranger. I was in a medieval battle. And I almost died. I love you, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but the purpose of my life can’t be to make your worries and anxieties go away. I don’t need to be a music teacher and live with you, Mom. I’ll always love you, both of you, but I can take care of myself, and I don’t want to live my life in fear. I’m going to live it unapologetically, responsibly but fearlessly. So if you two can’t wait to go back home, I understand. I kept you here longer than you ever wanted, but I’m not finished with Scotland yet. It’s my husband’s country, a phenomenal place to explore, with history and culture you can’t even imagine, and I’m going to stay.”
Mom’s mouth hung open. “F-for how long?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you think I’ll leave you alone after the tirade that you just went on…about time travel and about your psychic dreams…we need to take you to a neurologist!”
“You can stay, Mom, if you want. But I’m not going to a neurologist. I’m going to rent a car and go back to the Highlands. Maybe get a job somewhere and learn Scottish music.”
Mom and Kris exchanged a flabbergasted look. “Bryanna!” Mom started.
But Bryanna did something no one expected. She placed a gentle kiss on her mom’s cheek and hugged her. “Thank you for everything you did for me, Mom. Thank you for worrying, thank you for loving me, and thank you for raising me into who I am.” She looked at her mom, whose pale green eyes were bloodshot and watery. “I think you feel like I’m still small and still need protection. But your job is done now. I’m raised. It’s time for me to live my life and for you to live yours, knowing that your daughter will be fine.”
Without saying anything else, she kissed and hugged Kris, turned around, and walked down the street.
But even though she felt strong and meant every word, she knew that she’d lied to her family with her last words.
She’d never be fine, not completely, as long as Raghnall wasn’t in her world.
But she’d need to live with that.
Chapter 35
Ten days after arriving in his own time, Raghnall threw a pebble into the handprint illuminated by the dancing light. It didn’t go through. Like its ten predecessors, it bounced right off, this one rolling under the edge of the boulder he was sitting on. The rock was now completely clear, and the masons had been working on repairing the wall but were finished for the day. Raghnall didn’t know how long he’d sat here today.
Every morning, the first thing he did was come down here and press his hand into the print. And every morning, cold, hard rock didn’t let him through.
“You know, I heard Èibhlin turned up, married to a cousin or something,” said David. “Sends her apologies to you.”
Raghnall looked up. His young friend stared at the rock with the same stern, careful expression as a hunter tracking a wolf. His arms were crossed over his chest.
“I’m happy for her.”
“Are you? Don’t you wish she’d have come to the church, and you’d have married her and not Bryanna? At least you wouldn’t be sitting here staring at a piece of rock for days.”
Raghnall threw another pebble. “No. What I wish is that I hadn’t left the future.”
“Welcome to the club. I’ve been doing the same thing you’re doing for months now.”
Raghnall sighed. “Well, at least I’m a man of honor. A very unhappy man of honor.”
David picked up a pebble and threw it into the handprint. Like Raghnall’s pebbles, it bounced off.
“How did you like it there? In the future?”
“I liked it fine. Strange, of course, with the cars and electricity and those big windows ye people have there. But I see how things are easier and more convenient. Most importantly, I see why ’tis better for Bryanna to be there and why ’tis impossible for her to be with me here.”
“So would you have stayed with her if not for Seoc? That’s what everyone had assumed you’d do. Coming back for Seoc was very noble of you, of course.”
Raghnall let his head hang between his shoulders. “Nae, I dinna think I would have stayed.”
“What? Why?”
Truth was, he’d been terrified of Bryanna’s sickness and of losing her. But days spent here, without her, were dark and joyless. If there was a hell, it was on this side of the rock.
“I do wish I’d stayed now, though. I understand Seoc’s wish, and I know there wilna be better parents for him than Catrìona and James. But now that I have fulfilled my promise to his dying ma…there’s nothing for me here.”
David nodded and threw another pebble into the hand. It bounced slightly but stayed inside the print.
“A man needs a purpose. And I dinna have one, nae without Bryanna. I…” Raghnall wasn’t usually someone to share his feelings, but that was what Bryanna had done to him. She’d healed him. He felt his heart patched back up, whole and full of love. And he liked David, always had. The fact that he also had been in the future united them. “I love her. If I had a chance to go back to her, I’d go. I’m ready. And even though the possibility of losing her still makes me want to cut my heart out, I want to risk it even for one more day with her.”
David nodded thoughtfully and picked up another small stone. “I’m sorry to hear it, man. It sucks that you want to go but can’t.” He stretched his hands to the sides and gave a sarcastic chuckle. “Again, welcome to the club. Look at the two of us. We desperately want to travel in time, but we can’t.” Suddenly, he froze. “You know what we should do?”
“What?”
“I bet you someone out there knows something. We can’t be the only ones who know about these rocks and about Sìneag and about time travel. If you and I unite and go out there and search the whole of Scotland, we’ll find some information. Maybe we’ll find a way to travel in time. What do you say?”
Raghnall stood up. “Did I go mad, or does it sound like a good thought…?”
He liked the idea of a friend, another warrior with the same goal to travel the country and try to find a way back to the twenty-first century.
“It gives me a purpose,” Raghnall whispered. “And hope.”
David clapped his shoulder. “Yes! Me, too. Come on, when do we leave?”
“Today,” Raghnall said. “I’ll ask Angus to lend me a sword.”
David pumped his fist in the air. “Yes! All right, I’m going to talk to Rogene. She won’t like it, but she’ll have to deal with it…” He left the room, chatting more to himself than to Raghnall. “Go ask Angus for your sword…” As the door swooshed closed behind David, Raghnall smelled something…lavender and freshly cut grass. He didn’t know why he’d lingered and not gone after David right away.
