Kona Waters: A Rick Waters Novel, page 3
Jules ran up to the bedroom and grabbed the snarling stuffed mongoose. Rick found some smelling salts and had Jules place the mongoose on the nightstand right beside Gary’s head and turned it to face the mongoose. Now all they had to do was wait. The small dart that Gary had been hit with would wear off soon. As soon as he started moving, Rick would put the smelling salts under his nose.
“Jules, if you’re sleepy, you can go to bed, baby. It may take a little while, but I have to get this on camera.”
“Hell no. I’m up, and I will be doing the filming.”
Clay waved his hand dismissively and went to bed.
After forty-five minutes, Gary’s arm started to twitch.
“Get the camera ready,” said Rick.
Possum used his Canon to film, and Jules had her iPhone out and turned sideways.
Rick walked over to Gary, making sure he wasn't messing up the camera view. He broke open the smelling salts and stuck them under Gary’s nose. He gasped for air, and his eyes shot open. As soon as he saw the mongoose, he flipped over the side of the chair, then quickly covered his junk when he saw Jules.
“What the fuck! Where am I?” asked Gary.
He was so out of it.
“Don’t worry, Gary. I’ve seen one before.”
Gary looked over at the stuffed mongoose, and it all came back to him. He shook his head like a dog with water in its ears and stumbled over to the bed to cover his nakedness.
“You got him, Gary. I had him stuffed by a twenty-four-hour taxidermist that does house calls.”
“Ha-fucking-ha!” said Gary. “Did you get the mongoose out?”
“No, we got two of them out. They must’ve come in through the dog door. I locked it. The owners must have a dog and take it with them.”
“But seriously, thanks for getting me up here to my bedroom. I don’t remember Kelly going to bed.”
“You know what? Just get some sleep, and we can go over it all in the morning. It’s quite funny,” said Rick.
“Just do me one favor. Get that damn stuffed mongoose out of here.”
“You don’t wanna sleep with him, Gary?” asked Rick.
Gary just grunted and sighed. Rick picked up the stuffed mongoose. He and Jules headed back to their room. Before Possum could get out of the door, Gary was snoring again. Possum went to the bathroom, grabbed a bottle of aspirin, and placed it beside the bottles of water on the nightstand. He figured Gary would have his hangover powder in his bag somewhere but would let him deal with that in the morning. Possum looked at his watch. It was 3:15 a.m.
Chapter
Three
Possum was up early, making coffee even before Chef Kai showed up for his morning shift.
“What the hell happened here last night?” asked Chef Kai when he saw the pile of tranq darts in the garbage.
“Let me show you. It’ll be easier than explaining.” Possum said, leading Kai.
He showed Kai the video he had shot of Gary coming out of his tranquilizer dart-induced coma and flipping over backwards when he saw the stuffed mongoose. He burst out laughing, and then Possum filled in the rest of the story.
“Oh my God. You houles are funny!” said the chef. “Whatcha want for breakfast?”
“It’s gonna be a while until everyone is awake. Would you mind if I made biscuits and gravy? It’ll give you a little break,” said Possum.
“It’s my job. I tell ya what? You can make biscuits and gravy as long as I help and you let me keep the recipe, bruddah.”
“Deal!” replied Possum.
Possum grabbed the flour, and Chef Kai showed him where all the big bowls, mixers, and other utensils he might need were. Possum had become quite skilled at making his famous dish. He always made the dough first, then would whip up the sausage gravy once the biscuits were in the oven and everyone began to wake up. The trick, in Possum’s opinion, was to use roughly ground fresh black pepper. It set off the gravy something fierce. Chef Kai took notes on his iPad. Possum glanced over at it and noticed he had a ton of local recipes.
“Is that the Paprika App?” asked Possum.
“Sure is. You know it?”
“Know it? I have it. I can just share my biscuits and gravy recipe with you from my iPad. Better yet, if you want, I can send you all my recipes. I have a lot of great southern dishes and Cajun ones,” said Possum.
“Why don’t we just sync to each other and swap all our recipes?” said Chef Kai.
“You’d do that? But you’re a chef.”
“From the way I see you handle yourself in the kitchen, so are you, Possum.”
“I’m just an old hack.”
“A damn good hack, then.”
Possum carefully prepared each small biscuit and placed them gently on two large cookie sheets lined with parchment paper. Possum scanned through the folder of recipes that the chef had shared with him.
“Wow, loco moco and Portuguese sausage? I’ve always wanted to know those recipes, especially the authentic local way!” exclaimed Possum.
Possum heard Rick’s door creak open, looked up, and saw him walking out, rubbing his eyes. There was no sign of Jules yet, but she usually wasn’t far behind Rick.
“What time is it?” asked Rick with a yawn.
“It’s 6:30 a.m. on the dot,” said Possum.
“Don’t you sleep?” asked Rick.
“Occasionally.”
“Is Gary up?” asked Rick.
“Not even close. I know he wanted to go surfing this morning, but after last night’s fiasco, I doubt we’re getting an early start,” replied Possum.
“I’ll go check on him,” said Rick as he walked back upstairs.
He opened Gary’s door, and Kelly looked at him like she was a prisoner. She also seemed confused and disheveled.
“I wanna get up, but I don’t want to wake Gary,” whispered Kelly.
Rick lifted Gary’s leg slowly so Kelly could slip out.
“What do you remember about last night?” asked Rick quietly.
They stepped out of the bedroom.
“Not much. Gary and I somehow got into a tequila shot contest. I did several shots. Then we started tipping the bottle. That’s all I remember,” she said.
“You gotta see this shit. Possum, can you stream the video to the big TV?” asked Rick.
“I can do better than that. It has a USB port on the side. Let me plug in the flash drive and set it to loop. I pulled the surveillance video from the house cameras where Gary was shooting at the mongoose in the living room when the dart hit his neck. It’s classic. Reminded me of that scene from Old School. Edited it a little and added the bedroom stuff once he was in bed.”
Possum ran up to his room and returned with a small black flash drive. He plugged it into the massive 70-inch TV, found the correct source, and the video started playing. Kelly watched with her hand covering her mouth.
“Oh my God, he’s buck naked! I’m so embarrassed,” she said.
“It gets better,” said Rick.
When Gary’s eyes popped open, he saw the stuffed mongoose and flipped over backwards. Kelly almost did the same thing from laughing so hard. She had to steady herself not to fall from lack of oxygen to her head.
“Now, in the past, when one of us would pull a stunt like that, one of us would either draw on the drunk guy's face with a permanent marker or throw water on them to wake him up. But since you’re now married to that critter upstairs, I’ll let you choose,” said Rick.
“Where is that stuffed mongoose?”
“In my room. Want me to go get it?”
“Please.”
Kelly followed Rick to his room. Jules was in the shower, so Rick grabbed the stuffed mongoose and handed it to Kelly. She tiptoed over to Gary’s room, pulled the blanket back, and placed the mongoose gently in his arms with its gnarling face inches from Gary's snoring face. She quietly pulled the door closed and headed back to the kitchen. When Kelly saw the video playing in a loop, she burst out laughing again. Rick handed her a cup of coffee. Jules made a green tea, and they all waited for Gary to wake up.
“Where’s Clay?” asked Rick.
“Haven’t seen him,” said Rick.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I saw your friend heading toward the stables as I was coming in this morning,” said Chef Kai.
“I’ll go check on him and let him know breakfast will be ready soon. Wanna walk with me, Jules?”
Jules nodded and followed Rick out the side door. He saw Clay riding in the corral on a dark brown mare.
“Hey, cowboy. Looking good,” said Rick.
Clay pulled the reins a little and came to a stop by the fence.
“Hey, y’all. I got up early and went outside to catch some fresh air. I saw Keoki working the horses, and I asked if I could help. I had a horse just like this when I was a kid.”
“I didn’t know you rode,” said Rick.
“Oh yeah. I was in FFA in high school and had my horse up until I went off to flight school, then I gave her to a girl who lived down my road. She already had several horses and more property than we did.”
“What’s FFA?” asked Jules.
“It's, uh, Future Farmers of America. It’s an organization you can join in school. I chose metal trades because I had no desire to raise a lamb, calf, or whatever. A lot of my friends were in FFA. I preferred learning how to weld rather than feeding farm animals, but that’s me.”
Clay climbed down from the mare, and Keoki put her away as they walked back to the big house.
“Is Gary up yet?”
“No, but Kelly shoved that stuffed mongoose under his arm up to his face. I can’t wait for him to wake up,” said Rick.
Rick, Clay, and Jules stepped into the house. They hadn’t taken three steps when they heard Gary scream, followed by a big thud on the ceiling.
“Gary’s up,” said Rick.
They were all laughing.
“I wish we had filmed that,” said Rick.
“I did, hombre. I set up the tripod right after y’all walked over to the stables. I better run up before Gary throws it across the room,” said Possum.
Possum bolted upstairs, and Gary was standing on the floor wrapped in a blanket with sweat running down his face. The stuffed mongoose was on the other side of the room.
“What was a damn stuffed mongoose doing in bed with me?” asked Gary.
“You don't remember?”
“Remember what?”
“Just get dressed and come downstairs. I have biscuits and gravy almost ready.”
Possum shut the door, turned the gravy to medium, and stirred it. A few minutes later, Gary came strolling out of his room like the cock of the walk. He stopped in mid-stride and looked down at the huge TV.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” exclaimed Gary as he felt his neck.
He put his head in his hands and did the walk of shame down the stairs.
“Okay, give it to me. Let me hear it.”
They called Gary every name in the book — from drunk assface to mongoose man. It went on for a while as he poured his second cup of coffee. It was all in jest, and he knew he deserved it.
“Gary, that video could make thousands on YouTube,” said Possum.
“You’re not putting my nude ass on YouTube!”
“I can blur it out. Come on, man, you’ll be famous.”
“More like infamous,” added Rick.
Gary just shook his head and downed his hangover cure in a tube. He had tossed one to Kelly as well. He brought a whole case for the trip. It was another one of his new business ventures. The thing is, those damn things really worked. Twenty minutes after breakfast, Gary was spry, nimble, and ready to surf.
“Possum, I’m gonna pull the ATV around to the front door. Everyone grab a board of their choice while I get some rope to strap them down on the ATV,” said Gary.
Rick helped Jules pick out a good board for her muscular, slender body. He got her a seven-and-a-half-foot fun board. He chose a slightly longer board because it had been a while for him, and his arms probably weren’t the best at paddling. Possum grabbed a longboard, as did Gary and Kelly. Clay grabbed a few boogie boards, since that was more his style.
“Let’s go pick out horses. Possum, if you can take the sandwiches and boards down on the ATV to the cove, we will meet you there,” said Rick.
“I’m going to set up one of those pop-ups and folding chairs on the seat next to me. I’ll get everything ready for everyone.”
“Great idea, Possum.”
Possum loaded up the side-by-side and took off. The rest of the gang all picked out horses. Rick and Jules both got nearly identical black quarter horses. Kelly and Gary chose the horses they had ridden the day before, while Clay picked out an Appaloosa like Gary’s, only smaller and a little darker. He wanted to ride the one he had been riding around in the corral, but she needed a rest.
“Let’s ride, Pilgrims!” said Rick in John Wayne’s voice.
They all started walking down the trail. Gary and Kelly led the way because they knew where the trail split toward the cove. It was another perfect Polynesian day, and they planned to reach the cove before 9:00 a.m. Not too bad considering the mongoose antics from the night before. When they arrived, Possum had set up the pop-up tent with all the chairs arranged in a circle around a fire pit he had built. All the boards were stuck in the sand and arranged to look like a fence. Jules took several photos. It looked like some kind of surfing safari. They tied up all the horses, and Jules gave them water as Rick tested the ocean temperature. It was quite pleasant. The Pacific was colder than the Atlantic or the Gulf, but the water in the cove wasn't too bad.
“Who wants a lesson before we go in? I’m no expert; I can just show what I’ve learned and pass it on,” said Rick.
Everyone but Clay took him up on the offer, and Clay headed out to ride the small break on the inside with one of the boogie boards.
“Alright, grab your board and lay it in the sand. Dig the tails in so they don’t get damaged,” said Rick.
They all laid their boards down, and Rick showed them how to paddle and then pop up. “The key is to keep your knees bent at all times. You can’t cut back or turn if you’re stiff-legged.” He had them practice popping up for a while, and then they all went out. Rick caught the first wave quite easily and rode it for a short while before cutting back and floating down the backside. He looked like a pro. It was more luck than anything, really. On Jules's first wave, she popped up and came down to one knee. She rode it like that and laughed her ass off. It took her a few more tries, but she was up and surfing quite well for a newbie. She was so athletic that things like that came to her naturally. Possum caught a few waves, and his old surfing days came back to him pretty quickly. Gary and Kelly moved further out and surfed at the spot by the rocks. They all stayed out for over an hour and came in for a short siesta. They were all still full from breakfast and decided to chill on the beach for a while before their next session.
“Rick, come help me find shells,” said Jules.
Jules' two favorite things to find in the world were shells and bail jumpers, and she was good at finding both. Rick wasn't so into shells but loved to see Jules' eyes light up when he found a cool little one.
“Look, Jules, a cowry shell,” said Rick as he tossed it to her.
It was so shiny it looked like it had been polished. After about thirty minutes of collecting seashells, they headed back into the surf with their boards. They decided to take the second break this time, which was farther out and in deeper water. It was a harder wave to catch, but the payoff was greater. They all sat on their boards, waiting for a good set. Rick got an uneasy feeling in his nervous system, as if someone was watching him. He looked down beside his board and saw a massive tiger shark swimming lazily a few feet from the bottom. He didn’t say anything, as it was common to see them then, but he decided it would be safer and easier to surf the break closer to the shore. He waited for the shark to swim out of sight, then got everyone’s attention.
“The sets are too small out here. Follow me to the closer break,” he said.
It was partly true. They could have eventually found a good set to ride, but the waves closer in were easier to catch, and there was no need to scare everyone with shark fear. He kept that sighting to himself. He noticed the big shark had part of its dorsal fin missing, probably from a bite by another tiger shark.
“I’m up!” yelled Jules as she caught a wave.
She rode it all the way to the beach and ran back with her board to try again.
“That was great, Jules. Let me show you how to cut back so you can ride sideways and not so straight in," said Rick.
He waited for a good wave, then paddled with all his might. He popped up and turned sharply to the right. As he whipped his foot around the board up the face, he did a full three-sixty and slid back down the face. It was a pure accident, but it looked really cool. He then cut back again and surfed down the back of the wave back toward the lineup.
“That was amazing, Rick!” exclaimed Jules.
“I didn’t mean to spin all the way around, but it worked out. That was the first time I’ve ever actually done a three-sixty. I wasn’t even trying. Pretty funny.”
They rode for another hour, and their hunger started to grow. Possum went first and built a nice fire from the wood he had collected. They were all feeling cold and realized that if they planned to ride every day, they would need either wetsuits or dive skins. Clay kept boogie boarding while everyone sat in the chairs and watched him. He was pretty damn good. Possum passed out the sandwiches, and Rick opened a local non-alcoholic beer. Possum decided he was done surfing for the day and opened a Maui OMG Hazy IPA. One look at the beer, and Gary nearly gagged. He had been on water rations all day. Kelly was too. Rick knew by sunset, though, that Gary would be into the Busch Lights. He’d bet his last dollar on it.
“Holy shit!” said Possum.
“What, what?” asked Rick.
“I blurred out Gary’s junk in the video, and it’s already gotten five million views. It’s gonna go viral. I already made three hundred dollars in royalties.”
