Before I Kill Again!, page 12
CATHERINE
We left the beach a little after six. I could’ve stayed there longer—like, forever—but by then the sun was going down and thanks to a wind blowing in off the ocean, it was getting cold. Both of us were getting hungry anyway … and besides, I’d promised to call my uncle around six if I was going to be home late.
Not that I think he cares or anything, even though he keeps saying he does, but not calling would only give him another reason to get upset and then he’d end up grounding me and I’d have to sit and listen to another of his dumb old lectures about how I was deliberately driving him and Aunt Sophie into an early grave. Which, believe me, is not only a bad scene but can get to be pretty boring after you’ve heard it about three hundred zillion times before; know it so well in fact that you can say the words right along with him like you were listening to a broken record or something.
Anyway, as I said, Noel and I left the beach when the wind came up and headed slowly back to the car. It seemed much longer going back, especially the climbing up the cliff part, and when we finally reached the MGB, I was glad just to collapse in the front seat while Noel put our stuff in the trunk.
That’s when I got this great idea. “Know what,” I called back to him. “I’m freezing.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll put the top up,” he said.
“No, no, I like the top down.”
“But—”
“Actually, I was thinking that maybe you wouldn’t mind if I wore that old raincoat of yours? I’m sure it’d keep me warm.”
For a moment he didn’t seem to know what to say. Then in kind of a hoarse, strained voice, he said: “Of course. If you really want to.”
“Just till I get warmed up.”
“Sure. Okay.”
I climbed out and he came and helped me into the raincoat.
“That better?” he asked as I got back in the car.
“Much.”
“Then let’s go grunion hunting!” He got in behind the wheel and started the MGB. The engine turned over right away and we drove back along the dirt road toward the highway.
I’m so glad I found out about this raincoat. Much as I hate wearing it, now he won’t be able to keep his hands off me or stop kissing me …
NOEL
I warned her. At least, I tried to. But she put it on anyway and sat there with it wrapped tightly around her, the collar up around her cheeks, hair blowing in the wind, smiling innocently at me as if she didn’t care that she was driving me wild.
Oh God, dear God, don’t let me hurt her … please!
UNCLE JOHN
“Who was that?” my wife asked when I returned from answering the phone.
“Cathy,” I said. I sat across the kitchen table from her and picked up my cards. “Says she and Noel are going grunion hunting and might be a bit late.”
“Noel—is that the young man she went to the beach with today?”
“Uh-huh.” I discarded the ace of clubs, then added: “At least we’ve got her trained enough to call now and let us know where she is.”
Ignoring the ace, my wife drew from the deck before saying: “You think that’s wise—letting her stay out late with someone she hardly knows?”
“Probably not. But she never listens to us, anyway. Besides—” I paused as my wife discarded a four of diamonds, then I drew a queen of spades from the deck. Now all I needed for gin was a lousy eight of clubs. Discarding a deuce of hearts, I added, “—there’s going to be a bunch of kids from Cathy’s school there also, with chaperones, so they won’t be alone exactly.”
My wife took a card from the deck before saying: “Did Cathy tell you that?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Well, I just hope she’s not lying, that’s all.” She discarded the two of clubs, adding: “She’s not above it, you know. I’ve caught her in several lies since she moved in—”
“All kids lie, Ruth—including us. Hell, I hate to think of the number of times I made up stuff when I came home late after seeing you.”
“That’s different!”
“How may I ask?”
“Things were different, gentler back then and you know it. And we didn’t grow up in a big city like L.A.”
“San Jose’s not exactly a village, Ruth.”
“Maybe not. But there wasn’t a bunch weird, unpleasant people running around loose there—like there is here. And there definitely wasn’t as many nig—colored people. They—”
“Oh, God, here we go again!” I said irritably. “Must you always blame everything on the coloreds?”
“I’m not ‘blaming’ anyone,” my wife snapped. “I’m just saying that lately, since all this ‘equal rights’ nonsense has gotten so popular, I’ve seen a lot more colored men going with white girls.”
“So?”
“So—once you let that happen, you open the door for not only racial tension to tear this nation apart, but you encourage all kinds of disgusting things to happen.”
“Like what?”
“Well, rape for one thing. Murder and dope, for another. You know how they are.”
If she hadn’t sounded so pathetic, I would’ve laughed. “Glad to see you’re no longer prejudiced.”
“Go to hell.”
“Thought I already had. Anyway, what’s Cathy going grunion hunting got to do with racial tension or giving coloreds equal rights?”
“Well, if you don’t know,” she said bitterly, “I’m certainly not going to be the one to tell you. “
“Fine,” I said. “Does that mean we can get on with our game?”
“Certainly,” she said. She discarded the eight of clubs, watched my eyes light up, and then laid her cards down, face-up. “Gin.”
It was just another of those miserable goddamn nights.
CATHERINE
It really wasn’t so much of a lie that I told my uncle. I mean, what with the grunion running and everything, there’s always a bunch of school kids out on beach. There really is. And often they’re chaperoned by either their folks or older brothers or sisters. Besides, even if they weren’t, I still had to tell him there would be or else he or my cretin aunt would never have let me stay out late with Noel.
Anyways, after I’d called home, Noel and I drove up the coast to this little market and talked the manager there out of two empty sacks. The sacks had had potatoes in them and were pretty dirty. But we needed something to put the grunion in, so we dumped the potatoes, threw the sacks in the back of the MGB and then walked next door into the restaurant.
I felt kind of weird walking in beside Noel. Don’t ask me why, I just did. It was probably because I knew there’d be a whole lot of strangers around who’d see me with him and sort of wonder why I was dating someone that old. Though why that should bother me, I don’t know. But it did. Which is even more weird, because it didn’t bother me before, when we were at the beach together.
’Course, there weren’t that many people around then, so maybe that had something to do with it. Also, maybe it was because I was still wearing his dumb old raincoat. I mean, not that I really care too much what other people think of me, or of how I’m dressed or anything, but Noel’s raincoat is—well, really ratty-looking, and but for the fact that I wanted to keep paying attention to me, you can bet I wouldn’t be wearing it at all.
But, let’s get back to the restaurant. It’s a real cute little place. It’s built on this rocky point that juts out over the beach and when the tide’s in, the waves come pounding right up under it—making you feel like you’re in a boat or a lighthouse or on a pier or something. All of which makes it a super groovy place to eat. I’ve only been there once before, but whenever you drive by there’s usually always a whole bunch of people in there.
Tonight was no different, either. Lucky for us though, just as we entered some people got up from a booth near the window and Noel and I rushed over and sat down before the busboy had even cleared away the dishes.
NOEL
I didn’t make her wear it. She volunteered. God only knows why, but I swear it’s like she’s trying to entice me to make love to her.
Well, that’s just great! You spend most of your waking hours hoping you can get a girl to wear the damn thing, and now that you’ve finally got your wish, what do you do? You bitch and moan about it. Christ, is there no satisfying you?
PEARL
Wouldn’t you know it? They come in right in the middle of the goddamn dinner rush, dump their sweet asses down in the only available window-booth, and then order nothing but two cheap hamburgers and a glass of milk each. Jesus, if that don’t beat all!
I mean, shit, don’t they care about me? Don’t they realize I got to make a living too? Don’t they know that dinner is the only real chance for me to make a few extra bucks in tips to help balance out all the slow times during the day?
Obviously not! Obviously, all they care about is themselves—that, and sitting there mooning and holding hands under the table as they watch the goddamn sunset.
I tell you, if some folks don’t really gripe my ass!
NOEL
It’s not my imagination. It’s real. REAL! She’s not only wearing it, but she’s encouraging me to touch it … to rub my hand over the sleeve so that it makes that wonderful, sexy squeaky sound.
“Look at the clouds,” she pointed. “Aren’t they pretty? All pink and gold and fluffy. They remind you of little tiny babies, don’t they?”
I looked out the window and saw something else. “I guess.”
“Well, what do they look like to you then?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Yes, I do. I want to know everything about you. So, tell me. Please, Noel.”
“All right. They look more like corpses scattered about a battlefield.”
“Urgh! What a horrible, depressing thing to say. Whatever made you think of that?”
I had no idea. Frankly, all I could think of was getting the grunion hunting over with and then driving her to my place, having her undress and wear it just for me, and—
Stop it! For God’s sake, stop it! Stop thinking about her, the raincoat, what you want her to do—just stop it!
I can’t. I only wish I could. But I can’t. I honestly can’t.
CATHERINE
We left the restaurant shortly after nine. Boy, was I ticked off? The nerve of that dumb waitress! She actually came right out and told us to leave. Said, if we wanted to stare at the moonlit ocean all night, then we should go find ourselves a park bench or a motel or something, because her booths weren’t for rent.
I mean, can you believe that?
Boy, I was so mad I could’ve hit her. I really could. I didn’t, though. Fact is I didn’t even say anything. I knew better. Because once I lose my temper and get into it with someone, you’d think I was a redhead instead of a natural blond.
Besides, poor Noel was really embarrassed about the whole situation. So, all I did was give her a big fat “I-love-you-too” smirk, which really bugged her, and made sure that Noel didn’t leave her a tip. I mean, all right, so we did sit there a longer than perhaps we should have. But, criminy, that still doesn’t give her the right to come on strong like that and kick us out.
NOEL
When we got outside I pretended to have left the car keys on the table. I asked her to wait, then went back in the restaurant and left fifty cents under my plate. I had to. It was the right thing to do.
When I returned outside Catherine was standing by the car, staring at me. “You left that waitress a tip, didn’t you?”
“No.”
“Yes, you did. I can tell by the guilty look on your face. It’s all right,” she said when I didn’t reply. “I don’t mind. You’re right anyway. We should have left her a tip. We did sit there for an awful long time. It’s just that she was so rude about kicking us out like that, I—” She suddenly broke off and kissed me on the cheek. “Oh, Noel, you’re such a nice guy.”
“Now who’s laying it on thick?”
“No, I mean it. You really are.”
I let it drop, went around and opened the passenger-side door for her. “C’mon, jump in or we’ll miss the grunion run.”
“Kiss me first.”
“Here—on the highway?”
“Why not? I want the whole world to see you—see us. That way they’ll know you’re mine.” She put her arms around my neck, the raincoat making those wonderful sexy sounds as she pressed against me.
I couldn’t control myself any longer. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her with more passion than I knew I had.
She struggled in my grip and jerked her lips away, saying: “Hey, not so hard. Y-You’re hurting me, Noel.”
I didn’t care. I squeezed her even harder.
“P-Please, Noel … please … let go … y-you’re really hurting me.”
Headlights from passing cars flooded over us. The glaring brightness made me squint. Then they were gone, racing on along the highway, and we were once more standing there in darkness. Don’t frighten her, you idiot. She won’t come home with you afterwards.
I let her go and stepped back.
“Dum-dum,” she said, “what did you do that for? You almost broke my ribs.”
“Sorry. I just had to kiss you.”
“Be serious.”
“I am being serious.”
“Really? You had to kiss me?” Her eyes widened. “Well, that’s super! You don’t have to apologize for wanting to kiss me. Just don’t squeeze me so hard. That’s all.” She climbed in the car. I got in behind the wheel, started the engine, waited for a break in the traffic and then drove out onto the highway.
CATHERINE
It was almost dark when we reached Zuma Beach. We parked in the lot by the sand, kicked off our shoes, stepped over the low parking lot wall and ran to the ocean.
I love Zuma. It’s so beautiful. There are miles of smooth pale yellow sand that curve gradually along the coast north of Malibu, and because it’s quite a long drive to get there it’s never crowded like all the other well-known beaches. In fact, it’s often deserted.
’Course, all that changes on the nights like tonight when the grunion are spawning—or running, as it is called. Then the beach gets like a mad house as a huge crowd excitedly waits for the grunion to swim ashore. And when they do, there are literally thousands of the punctual little fish, all thrashing around in plain sight. I swear to God, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
The females come ashore first to bury their eggs in the sand. Then, moments later, the males come right behind them, eager to wrap themselves around the females and fertilize the eggs. Once that’s accomplished, the grunion swim happily back into the ocean.
Or would, if people like me didn’t interfere and scoop them up with our hands and dump them in sacks and buckets—which is pretty dumb really since grunion aren’t that good to eat. There is very little meat and what there is, is full of bones. But I got to admit that it’s really fun to grab them up and watch them squirming around in your hands. I don’t know why, it just is.
NOEL
It was a beautiful, cloudless, dark-blue night—perfect for grunion hunting. A silver dollar moon lit up the sky, its reflection striping the calm blue-black ocean. But I didn’t get overly excited. I’ve seen other equally beautiful clear nights, with the beach equally crowded, the kids equally excited, on which the grunion refused to cooperate and were no-shows.
And when that happens, everyone glumly trudges home, all their excitement gone, the younger kids crying with disappointment. Hopefully tonight wouldn’t turn out like that. But what if it did? What then? Better have a Plan B.
“Listen,” I said, turning to Kath—Catherine, “if for whatever reason the grunion decide not to show up tonight, what else would you like to do?”
“I don’t know. Not go home early that’s for sure.” She looked at me, the breeze blowing her silvery-blond hair across her face, her profile peeking at me over the upturned collar of the raincoat. “How about you? Got any ideas?”
“Uh-uh.” I paused, trying to stop the words from blurting out between my lips. It was useless. “I suppose we could always go back to my place.”
“I’m up for that. But I can’t stay out too late. Tomorrow’s school and my uncle will haves ten zillion fits if I’m out past eleven.”
“Don’t worry. I promise to have you back home before then.” I must have looked uneasy because suddenly she gave an impish smile and said:
“Guess you think I’m pretty wicked, eh?”
“In general,” I said playfully, “or for some special reason tonight?”
She giggled. “Tonight, dum-dum. For lying to my uncle like I did.”
“I’m sure you had a good reason.”
“Better than most, believe me.”
“Like what?”
“That’s easy. I live with my aunt and uncle, who are prehistoric cretins, and if I didn’t make up stories now and then, I’d spend my whole dumb life locked up in my bedroom or downstairs in the kitchen washing dishes or cleaning out the refrigerator.”
“Little Orphan Annie, huh?”
“Who?”
I suddenly felt terribly old. If she noticed, she didn’t show it.
“Oh, look,” she pointed. “There’re those two colored guys we saw earlier at Point Dume.”
I looked at where she was pointing and saw the same two men who had been throwing the football. They were sitting, smoking, on the low stone wall that surrounded the parking lot.
“Wonder where the girl they were with is?”
“Probably in the john,” I said, indicating the public restrooms near the wall.
CATHERINE
At 10:42, shortly after high tide, the grunion started running. At once the sand along the water’s edge became alive with tiny, silvery, flip-flopping fish.
