The Cowboy's Unexpected Baby, page 7
Because she believed him and because her heart seemed to suddenly be beating erratically, she motioned for Elvis to stay and took the first step onto the ladder.
At the top, Garrett reached around her and threw open a small window. From this vantage point, she could see for miles. What had seemed like flat farmland was really a series of rolling hills. Streams and creeks were dark slashes in shades of green. The spring-fed ponds that the area was known for gleamed in the distance.
“It’s breathtaking, Garrett. I had no idea.”
He sat down against a post. Warm afternoon light speared into the space, making the dust seem like tiny sparkling fairies. “When my dad was alive, he always seemed to be surrounded by a halo of dust. Dusty boots, dusty hat. He’d appear in the door of the barn in the late afternoon and he’d just be a silhouette.”
Abby sat beside him, looking up at the square of blue sky that showed in the window he’d opened. “He must’ve been an amazing man to raise three sons who turned out like you and Devin and Tanner.”
He snorted. “We’ve all had our moments, believe me, but he was amazing. He wasn’t a big talker—Tanner takes after him, I think—but he was always teaching us. How to take care of the land. How to be a man. How to love a woman. He loved my mom so much.”
She swallowed hard but he didn’t notice. His eyes were on the beams of sunlight.
“My mom, on the other hand, always seemed to be bathed in sunlight. She’d come out onto the porch in the evening and hold her hand up to shade her eyes. When I think about her, she always seems golden.”
“You miss them.”
“I’d gotten used to not thinking about them but then, I’m sitting there holding this baby, trying to figure out how to be a dad...” His voice trailed off. The corner of his mouth tipped up. “After my mom died, I used to come up here in the afternoon and watch those beams of light walk across the floor. They’d slide across my skin and I’d pretend it was a message from my mom, that she was touching me from up in the sky.”
Her throat ached, thinking about him as a young boy, needing his parents, missing them.
“How old were you?” Her voice, though it was quiet, seemed loud in the space.
He looked at her then, the smile lines crinkling around his eyes. “Fourteen. Devin was twelve and he needed parenting. Tanner had lost his wife and baby, but he did his best to be there for Devin.”
“Who was there for you?” She could feel the ache in his words and she was afraid she knew the answer.
“Everyone was grieving so hard.” He held his hand out, letting the sunlight filter through his fingers. “I just kept my head down and tried not to make any trouble. Devin made enough for both of us.”
The smile was back.
She said, “Oh, Garrett.”
“When Mom and Dad died, I felt like I might never be put back together. But I kept coming up here and looking at those beams. I didn’t even know why. But then one day I realized that without all the cracks in the walls, the light wouldn’t be able to get in. The beauty of the sunlight comes from the cracks.”
His hand brushed hers, sending electric shocks up her arm. Tension stretched but it was like a tight string between the two of them. It scared her a little how much she wanted to reach for him, comfort him.
In the distance, a screen door slammed and a thin wail rose. Garrett stood with a laugh and held his hand out to her. “Wow, I brought you up here to show you the view, not to tell you all my adolescent secrets.”
Grasping his hand, she let him pull her to her feet, wincing as the healing wound in her side stretched. She followed him down the ladder, pausing almost imperceptibly when his hands gripped her waist to steady her as she stepped off the last rung.
On solid ground, she looked up. His face was inches away, his eyes warm on hers. He whispered, “Abby.”
She knew he was about to kiss her. As if a breath of air nudged her, she moved closer.
Garrett reached up and brushed a piece of hair away from her face, his touch achingly gentle.
Elvis bumped her leg, grounding her in reality. Abby took a step back, one hand moving in a hidden hand gesture to Elvis, who wedged his way between them, creating space.
“Were you wondering where she went, boy?” Garrett laughed and gave Elvis a good scratch, the moment gone so quickly Abby almost wondered if she’d imagined it.
As they stepped out of the barn, fat raindrops started to fall, splattering on the ground. Garrett squinted up at the sky. “I guess that’s the end of our sunny day. Want to come in for something to drink?”
Dark clouds were gathering in the west. It was tempting to extend the time she’d spent with him today. It was easy to be with him, easy to feel close to him. But for him, doing that was just part of who he was—he gave his best to everyone.
For her, it was starting to feel a little too personal. Too important.
So Abby shook her head. “Thanks, but I need to be getting back.”
“It was fun showing you around. Next time, you’ll have to meet the goats and we’ll ride if you want to.”
He lifted his hat and ran his fingers through his hair, looking down at his dusty boots, and she wavered. But she knew there probably wouldn’t be a next time. There was a good chance she wouldn’t be here much longer. This attraction she felt to Garrett was just that, a temporary attachment. To believe anything else would be setting herself up for heartache.
And she had enough of that already.
Chapter Seven
“Hey, is Garrett in yet?” Abby stopped at Bess’s desk on her way to her office. “I think I was supposed to watch Charlotte this morning.”
“Nope.” Bess looked up with a smile, her light brown hair in one long braid over her shoulder, fingers pausing on the keyboard. “Haven’t heard from him but he’s got court in less than an hour.”
“Do you think I should text him?”
“Already did. I’ll let you know if I hear from him.” The executive assistant’s eyes were back on her screen.
“Thanks, Bess.” Abby walked back to her office. She pulled her cell phone out of her purse but there was no message from Garrett.
Sitting down at her desk, she opened her laptop, glanced at the time on the screen and back at the empty office. She’d caught a glimpse of Garrett at church yesterday but he had to leave early and she didn’t get a chance to talk to him. She couldn’t stop thinking about that moment in the barn Saturday afternoon. Had she imagined the connection between them?
Was she the only one who felt it?
Was thinking about this a total waste of her time? Yeah, she knew the answer to that question.
Abby blinked her eyes and forced them to focus on the computer screen. She’d had a very promising meeting with the counselors from the local schools early this morning. They’d been excited by the possibility of referring families to her for counseling and support, so she wanted to send them a follow-up email while the meeting was fresh in their minds.
The front door opened. Finally. She listened for Garrett’s voice, but all she could hear was Charlotte screaming. Oh, boy. She closed her laptop and walked to the door of her office, swallowing a gasp as she took in his appearance.
He looked awful—eyes red-rimmed, skin tinged with gray, hair standing on end. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Were you at church yesterday?”
“Yeah. I saw you get the nursery SOS.” She reached for the infant carrier and placed it on her desk. Charlotte’s face was red, eyes squinched shut, her tiny lips trembling with each new cry.
“She’s barely stopped since. The only time she slows down is if I’m holding her while I’m standing up.” He rubbed his eyes and blinked at Abby wearily. “She can be dead asleep and if I sit down, she starts up again.”
“No wonder you look tired.”
“I have a court appearance—” he flipped his wrist over to glance at his watch “—right now, and then a couple of meetings, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. Sorry to leave you with her like this.”
“It’s okay.” Abby had to raise her voice to hear her own words over Charlotte’s loud wails. “Did you call Ash?”
“Texted. He said sometimes babies cry and if she starts running a fever or gets lethargic to bring her in. In other words, not helpful at all.” He had his keys in hand as he backed toward the door. “She had her last bottle an hour ago.”
“Got it.” Abby rocked the seat back and forth, but Charlotte’s cries never wavered. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”
Garrett looked skeptical but he grabbed his briefcase from his office and walked out the door, clipping the door frame with his shoulder on the way out. Oh, man. She said a quick prayer that he made it to his appointments in one piece.
Charlotte, all ten pounds of her, was trembling and sweaty and mad as a hornet. Abby unbuckled her and lifted her out, holding the tiny body gently as she bounced up and down. “Oh my goodness, little girl. You’re all worked up.”
The question in Abby’s mind was why? She ran through a mental checklist of things that could be bothering Charlotte. Hungry? No, Garrett said she’d eaten an hour earlier. Wet? Maybe.
Abby grabbed the diaper bag and carried Charlotte into the bathroom and laid her on the changing table, trying not to wince as the crying intensified. “Hang on, Charlotte, let’s just see what’s up.”
She started with baby’s head and closely examined every inch to make sure Charlotte didn’t have an insect bite or scratchy clothing tag or something bothering her, but she saw nothing. Not even a little diaper rash. Was it possible she was itchy? Allergic to the detergent Garrett used to wash her clothes?
Iffy, considering she’d had no reaction before, but Abby pulled a thin muslin blanket from the drawer of clothes Garrett kept here for emergencies. Placing Charlotte in the center of it, she tucked the blanket around the baby until she was completely swaddled.
For the next forty-five minutes, Abby walked in circles around her office. Charlotte would take the pacifier and act like she was sleepy, only to spit it out and start fussing again moments later.
Abby tried holding her in different positions. She tried walking outside. She even tried laying Charlotte down in the porta-crib in Garrett’s office and letting her be. Nothing seemed to appease the normally easygoing infant.
Wynn opened the office door. “What is going on? I could hear her screaming when I came in the front door.”
“According to Garrett, she’s been crying like this since he picked her up from the nursery at church yesterday.”
Wynn shrugged. “I don’t know. Have you tried feeding her? Could be a growth spurt.”
Abby’s phone buzzed on the desk: a phone call from Garrett. She looked down at Charlotte. “It’s your dad. You’re gonna need to be quiet for a second.”
Charlotte didn’t look convinced. She didn’t sound convinced either, letting out another loud cry.
“Let me have her while you answer the phone.” Wynn took Charlotte and Abby ducked out of the office, closing the door behind her.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I was just calling to check and see if she was any better, but I can hear her.”
Abby glanced back to where Wynn was swaying back and forth with Charlotte. “Yeah, she’s still not happy. I’ve tried everything I can think of. It’s a little early, but I was about to give her a bottle.”
“I wonder if we should just take her to the doctor.”
We? “How about this? I saw the thermometer in her bag. I’ll take her temperature and if she’s running a fever, I’ll call and make an appointment. If not, I’ll just give her a bottle and we’ll go from there.”
“Did I put a thermometer in her diaper bag?”
“Yep. It’s in the same little zipper pouch as the infant acetaminophen.”
“Okay, good plan. Oh, hang on.” She heard rustling and muffled voices and then Garrett’s voice came back. “They’re calling our case. I’ll get back there as soon as I can. Thanks, Abby.”
The phone went silent.
When she opened the door to the office, Wynn handed Charlotte back. “She definitely doesn’t want me. Should I fix her a bottle?”
“That would be great.” As she spoke, Abby realized she could hear herself. She looked down. Charlotte had gone silent and was staring intently at her face, more alert than Abby had ever seen her.
Then the little bottom lip poked out and Abby’s eyes went wide. “No, don’t do that. No, no, no. Aunt Wynn is getting the bottle, I promise.”
A few minutes later, Abby settled in the chair with Charlotte and the bottle, which seemed—fingers crossed—to be doing the trick.
Abby wedged the bottle between her chin and the baby and picked up the thermometer. Thankfully, she just had to run it over Charlotte’s forehead to check her temperature. The screen flashed green. Ninety-nine.
So no fever to speak of. Charlotte’s eyes were closed and she didn’t notice when Abby removed the bottle. Easing a limp-noodle newborn into position on her shoulder without waking her up was easier said than done, but she did it. She leaned back against the seat with a sigh of relief as she patted the little back.
Wow. That hour had been intense, and poor Garrett had experienced nearly twenty-four hours of that. No wonder he looked shell-shocked.
Wynn paused outside the closed door and gave Abby a thumbs-up.
Abby returned a wan smile and let her head drop back against the seat. She picked it up as her phone buzzed again. Expecting Garrett, she was surprised to see her boss’s name pop up on the home screen. Her thumb hesitated over the notification. There’d been a time when she would’ve been excited to see the name, ready to grab her go-bag and head for the airport at a moment’s notice. Her work was important and she’d loved it.
Five years later, she’d been tired, but still, she’d believed in the difference she made with kids who’d lost everything. She’d believed until her time in the refugee camp. Rationally, she knew that she’d helped in a small way, that the children she and Elvis worked with knew someone cared about what they had gone through.
Her heart—that was a different story. Her heart said the hours she spent with the kids couldn’t stack up when it came to what those little people had been through. It wasn’t just losing their homes, or losing their families. Or the abuse that happened in so many forms. It wasn’t the absence of the familiar. Or a life-changing injury.
In some cases, it was all of that combined. She’d given them everything she had. She’d almost given her life and still, she didn’t feel like it was enough.
With a quick flick of her thumb across the screen, Abby opened the phone and read the text from Greta. I know we said six months...
Abby wanted to laugh because her vacations, such as they were, always ended early. But this time, she couldn’t make that happen. She’d stepped away from a precipice when she’d given her notice. And this time it wasn’t as simple as canceling hotel reservations.
She had responsibilities here.
In her arms, Charlotte gave a quivering sigh. Abby rubbed the tiny back and put her phone aside. So many things were up in the air for her right now, but she’d always been a person who’d given her best to every moment of her day. And right now, that meant being here for Charlotte.
* * *
Garrett stepped into the office, stopping with his hand on the doorknob, phone to his ear. “No, I’m not happy with status quo. I don’t want a continuance. This family deserves permanence and I don’t want to wait three more months to give it to them.”
Somewhere in the back, he heard the baby start to cry. He closed his eyes. “I have to go.”
Garrett’s head was pounding. His feet felt like they weighed two tons and he just wanted to lie down somewhere. But he had other responsibilities now. He pushed the door closed and turned around to find Bess with noise-canceling headphones on. Smart.
In his office, he found Abby pacing the floor with Charlotte. “Still at it, I see.”
“Well, she was sleeping until you started shouting as you came in the door.”
“I wasn’t shouting. I was getting my point across.” He scowled at Abby. “Why doesn’t she have any clothes on? She’s probably crying because she’s cold.”
“She’s not cold. It’s seventy-two degrees in here, thank you.”
Garrett pressed the fingers of both hands against his temples. “No one’s getting any work done anyway. I’ll just take her home.”
“Hey, guys.” The voice startled both of them and the pitch of Charlotte’s cries grew louder.
How was that even possible?
Ash Sheehan stepped into Garrett’s office. “My sister told me if Charlotte was still fussy that I should stop by on my way back to the office from the hospital.”
Garrett said, “She’s still fussy.”
“She slept for about forty-five minutes, until Garrett got here. Now she’s crying again.” Abby followed Ash into the main office with Charlotte in her arms.
Ash set his bag on the conference table and walked to Abby, with his hands out. “May I?”
Crooning softly, the pediatrician held Charlotte face down, folding her arms against her body. As her arms stopped flailing, her frantic cries tapered off.
Garrett stared at Ash. “What kind of mind control am I seeing here?”
“Nothing like that. Just experience.” When Ash wiggled her legs a little bit with his other hand, Charlotte’s breath hitched, but she stopped crying. Ash looked at Garrett. “How old is she?”
He blanked. “Uh...”
“Five weeks.” Abby didn’t even glance at Garrett as she answered. And he deserved it. He’d been a jerk.
“I learned this trick from one of my pediatric attendings. I don’t know why it works, but it always does.” Ash moved from the leg jiggle to a slow, rolling bounce. Charlotte’s eyes were open, her mottled color returning to normal baby pink. He held Charlotte out to Garrett. “You try.”
