Wearing the Rancher's Ring, page 16
The thought brought her up short and she leaned against the cabinet counter and covered her face with both hands. She couldn’t put Clancy out of her life. Not completely. They were going to have a baby together. That connection alone would force her to stay in contact with him. Even spend time with him.
Dear heaven, how could she watch him hold their baby while everything inside her would be aching to touch him, love him? It would be sheer agony. So why hadn’t she accepted his proposal and made her dream of being his wife come true? she asked herself.
Because it hadn’t been a proposal. It had been a decree, spoken without love. And even though she very much wanted her baby to have its father and mother living together as a family, she refused to marry a man who didn’t love her.
Chapter Eleven
Nearly two weeks later, Clancy was sitting in his office staring blankly at the ledger sheet on the computer screen. In the past three months, the cost of alfalfa hay had skyrocketed and Rafe was already ordering more, and the winter was just getting started. Clancy was either going to have to pull funds from some other project to pay for extra hay or search for a cheaper seller. Which he doubted he could find this late in the year. Tomorrow would be the first day of November. Any new hay crops would have to come all the way from southern California.
A light knock sounded on the door and Clancy looked up, surprised that anyone would be down at the office buildings at this time of night.
“Come in,” he called.
Rafe hurriedly stepped in out of the cold and shut the door behind him. “Snowing again,” he announced as he stomped his boots on a small rug. “The slopes over at Tahoe must be thrilled not to have to use the snow machines. This is turning out to be the wettest autumn we’ve had in years. And it couldn’t come soon enough.”
“It will certainly help the drought situation and the spring grass. I was just going over the hay situation. A hundred more ton is going to cost a heck of a lot, Rafe.”
His younger brother walked over and took a seat in front of Clancy’s desk. “I know. But we don’t have much choice. The cows can’t eat with snow on the ground. And we can’t make money if they don’t hold their weight.”
Clancy wearily swiped a hand over his face. “That’s true. I’ll shuffle some funds around. We might have to forego drilling those two water wells for a while. Especially since we’re getting by with the tanks we have right now.”
Rafe pulled off his hat and hung it on his crossed knees. “Forget all that for the moment, I came down here to see why you missed dinner. Are you sick?”
Clancy frowned. “If I was sick I’d hardly be working.”
Rafe cursed under his breath. “Well, there’s hardly any need for you to be working at eight o’clock in the evening. In fact, you look like hell to me.”
“Thanks,” Clancy said drily. “At least, nothing about my looks has changed.”
Rafe rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “Don’t you think this rift between you and Olivia has gone on long enough? She needs you now, Clancy, more than ever.”
Clancy stared at him and wondered exactly how much his brother knew about the situation. “What do you mean by that?”
Rafe shrugged. “Dad told me that she’s expecting a baby.”
Grimacing, Clancy tossed the pen he’d been holding down on the desktop. “When I talked to him about Olivia I didn’t realize he was going to start spreading the news.”
“He’s only shared it with me. And what difference does it make who he tells? Pretty soon Olivia will start showing and her condition will be evident to everyone.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” He pushed out a weary sigh and leaned back in the desk chair. “But as for Olivia needing me, she doesn’t. She’s made that quite clear. She’s also made it quite clear that she doesn’t want to be my wife.”
“Hmm. I wonder why.”
Clancy shot his brother an annoyed look. “What does that remark mean?”
“It means that a woman wants to know she’s loved for herself. She needs to know you want her to be your wife because you love her and want her in your life. Not just because she’s carrying your child.”
Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Clancy stared over to one side of the room where a black leather couch and matching armchairs were grouped around a small fireplace. Once Clancy had returned from college and taken over the position as ranch manager, his grandfather had spared no expense in furnishing the office. Bart had always reasoned that it was important to give cattle and horse buyers the impression that everything on the Silver Horn was top-notch, especially the livestock.
Go home to your fancy home and rich family and ask yourself where you were when I needed you the most.
Olivia’s parting words had been especially hard for him to take. Not just because he’d been angry with her. And not because she’d turned down his request for her to become his wife. He’d been stunned by the idea that he might have ever let her down. During those long years they’d been apart, Clancy had always thought of himself as the wronged party. She’d let him down. Not the other way around. So what had she meant? What could he have done differently?
You could have gone to her in Idaho, Clancy. You could have made sure that she and her mother had everything they needed. No matter how long it took, you could’ve showed her that you weren’t going to let anything come between you and that you’d be there for her through thick and thin, through happiness and sorrows.
Clearing the gruffness from his voice, he said, “I realize you’re more of an authority on wives and women than I am, Rafe. But you don’t understand about Olivia. She’s very independent and headstrong. She—”
Rafe interrupted with a burst of laughter. “And you think Lilly isn’t? When we were dating she told me to get the hell out and not come back.”
Clancy looked at his brother. “Well, clearly you did go back. And she married you.”
“Only because I came to my senses. I realized I loved Lilly too much to lose her to another man. I don’t think you want to see Olivia and your child with another man, either.”
The thought of some other man loving and caring for Olivia and his baby was worse than trying to swallow barbed wire. Clancy couldn’t bear it.
Did that mean he loved her? The deep down sort of love that his grandfather had felt when he’d married Clancy’s grandmother? The kind of love his father had felt for his mother? And what if he did love Olivia in that same way? Clancy asked himself. Just because he loved her didn’t mean he could trust her to always stay at his side.
“I don’t want to think about that, Rafe. I don’t want to think about Olivia and the baby anymore tonight. I’ve thought about them until I’m worn-out thinking. I—”
The rest of Clancy’s remarks were suddenly interrupted as the phone on his desk rang.
“That’s coming from the house,” Clancy said to Rafe. “Lilly must be hunting you.”
“Lilly would ring my cell. Better answer. It might be Grandfather.”
Clancy especially didn’t want to talk to his grandfather. In fact, these past few days since his split with Olivia, he’d deliberately been avoiding Bart. He wasn’t up to having the old man chew a hole in him, much less facing the disappointment that would surely be in his eyes.
Reluctantly, he reached for the receiver. “Clancy here,” he answered.
“Clancy, it’s Finn. I just got off the phone with Evan. He’s at Tahoe General. Something is wrong with Dad.”
The serious tone in Finn’s voice had Clancy freezing with fear. “With Dad! Why? What’s wrong? Isn’t Evan on duty tonight?”
“Yes. But Noreen contacted him. She and Dad had dinner together and they were heading back to her place when he started having chest pains. He’s in Emergency now. Evan’s waiting to hear word.”
“Oh, God. Rafe is here with me now. The two of us will be right there, Finn.”
He hung up the phone to see that Rafe had already risen to his feet and was staring anxiously at him.
“What’s wrong?”
Leaping out of the chair, Clancy grabbed his hat and coat. “Dad. He’s at Tahoe General. Let’s go.”
* * *
At the same time, more than thirty miles away at Olivia’s house, she’d invited Ezra to supper and the two of them were finishing the last of the barbecued ribs she’d thrown into the slow-cooker early that morning before she’d left for work.
“I really shouldn’t be eating like this,” she told Ezra. “But this is the first day I’ve gotten through without a bout of nausea. Everything tastes good tonight.”
Ezra grinned at her and Olivia realized her stand-in dad was as excited about her pregnancy as if it was going to be his own grandchild.
“I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “I don’t want you getting sick. You gotta stay healthy so that little one will grow strong.”
She reached across the table and gave the back of his hand a reassuring pat. “I had a long visit with an obstetrician yesterday. He assures me that I’m fine and the baby is fine. So don’t worry. In a few months I’ll be asking you to change diapers and babysit.”
The grin suddenly fell from his face. “I doubt that. Once you marry Clancy, I’ll probably never see you again.”
She slanted him a pointed look. “That isn’t likely. And even if by some miraculous chance I married Clancy, you will always be in my life.”
He looked away from her, but not before she saw his eyes blink and Olivia knew he had to be thinking about his own son, who’d left the area years ago and rarely ever came back for visits. For some reason Ezra had never explained to Olivia why his son had broken ties with him.
“I’m glad to hear it, Livvy. Because I’ve sorta gotten used to you being around—feeding me like a king,” he said.
Feeling far more emotional than she should be, Olivia rose to her feet and walked over to the cabinet counter. As she began making a pot of decaffeinated coffee, she said, “I haven’t told you yet, but I got a big surprise at work today.”
“A surprise? Was it a good one?”
Shrugging, Olivia didn’t bother to turn to look at him. “A few months ago I would have called it wonderful. In fact, I would have been jumping with excitement. But now—everything is different.”
“Maybe you’d better explain what this surprise was. ’Cause I’m not understanding you, Livvy.”
With the coffee dripping, she turned to give him a wan smile. “I’ve been offered a big promotion. It’s something I’ve had my eye on since I first went to work for the BLM. It would mean a lot more money. But mostly it would mean that my work would hold some real weight—even more than it does now.”
A puzzled frown crossed Ezra’s face. “And you’re not happy about all that?”
“The job would require me to move to California. Far away from here.”
He looked crestfallen. “Oh. And you don’t want to do that?”
Smiling, she walked over to where he sat at the table and gave his shoulders an affectionate hug. “And leave you? Never.”
* * *
Much later that night at Tahoe General, Clancy and his brothers, along with their father’s girlfriend, Noreen, were milling restlessly around the waiting area, trying not to think the worst. Three hours had passed since Orin had arrived in Emergency and the only word they’d received so far was that he was being treated and that a battery of tests were being done. Jett, Clancy’s brother-in-law, had stayed for a while but Sassy was home with their son, J.J.
When a young doctor finally approached them, the brothers and Noreen circled around him, waiting anxiously for him to speak.
“Mr. Calhoun is stable and awake and has been transferred to a regular room. I expect to keep him here for the next two days. At least until I get to the bottom of what is causing all his discomfort.”
“Does that mean he didn’t have a heart attack?” Evan was the first to ask. “You would have put him in ICU if that was the case, right?”
The weary physician removed a pair of reading glasses and slipped them into the pocket on his lab coat. “Going by the first initial tests we’ve run, it doesn’t appear to be a heart attack. But I’m not ready to rule that out completely until I run a few more tests. Right now we have the pain under control. And that’s the way I want to keep things. When I learn the exact cause, then I can start treating it.”
“Can we see him now, Doctor?” Finn asked.
“One of you can see him. But only for a brief visit. I don’t want him exhausted with a bunch of talk. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another patient waiting.”
They all thanked the doctor and after he’d walked away, Clancy and his brothers instinctively looked to Noreen. The attractive brunette immediately shook her head.
“As much as I’d like to see Orin, one of you should go. He’s your father and he needs you now.”
As soon as her words were out, Clancy could feel all eyes turn on him. “Why are you looking at me?” Clancy asked. “Rafe is Dad’s pet. He’d rather see him.”
“Not hardly!” Rafe exclaimed. “Evan was the first one here. He ought to go.”
Finn stepped forward and latched a hand on Clancy’s arm. “You’re the oldest, Clancy. You’ve always been the leader. You’re the one who should see Dad. We’ll all wait here.”
The leader. These past couple of weeks he’d hardly felt like a leader. He’d felt lost. Like a horse wandering around the range, like a horse wanting to go home, but not knowing which direction to take to find it.
His throat too tight to speak, Clancy nodded and hurried off to catch the elevator.
On the third floor, he found his father’s room at the end of a long wing. After a slight rap on the door, he stepped inside and stood staring at the bed where his father was resting on his side. Wires emerged from the neck of the hospital gown and eventually connected to a small machine standing next to the head of the bed.
As Clancy stepped forward he tried to keep his steps light against the tile floor, but Orin must have heard the sound of his boots anyway, because his eyes fluttered open to focus on his eldest son.
“Clancy. Come in.”
His father’s voice sounded a bit winded, as though an excessive amount of pressure was pushing the words out of him. A sheen of sweat covered his forehead, but at least there was color to his cheeks. For as far back as Clancy could remember, he couldn’t recall ever seeing his father sick in bed. And certainly never hospitalized. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state shook Clancy to the very center of his being. Orin was the very anchor of the Calhoun family. He was too young and vital for his health to be threatened, Clancy thought.
Striding quickly to the bedside, he reached for his father’s hand. “Dad. How are you feeling?”
“Better. At least I can get a decent breath now.”
He squeezed his hand. “The boys are in the waiting room. And so is Noreen. She’s very concerned about you. We all are.”
“Doc says I’ll be fine. Tell Noreen not to worry. Tell your brothers not to worry.”
“The doctor would only allow one of us to see you.” Clancy shook his head with dismay. “We offered the chance to Noreen, but everyone thought I should be the one to visit you.”
“I’m glad,” Orin replied. “I want to make sure you continue to take care of the ranch just as you always do.”
A ball of emotion was suddenly choking Clancy, forcing him to try and swallow it away. And suddenly, as he watched his father’s eyelids drift wearily downward, he understood what Olivia must have been feeling when she’d learned her mother had a serious disease. It must have shaken her entire world, just as it was shaking Clancy’s world tonight to think his father might be dying.
Oh, God, Arlene Parsons had been dying, Clancy thought. And from what Olivia had told him she’d suffered through more than two years of treatment and pain before she’d finally succumbed to the disease. Olivia had endured all the worry and grief alone. She’d had no family to support her. And he’d been a jerk for letting his male pride get in the way. For not going to her and offering his help and his love. Sure she’d told him to move on and forget her, but now after all these years, he could see that she’d done it out of love. She’d not wanted to tie him down with the burdens of her family.
“You don’t need to worry about the ranch, Dad. I’ll see that everything keeps running smoothly. And if necessary, I’ll keep Grandfather in line. All you need to do is rest and get well. Is there anything I can get for you?”
A weak smile crossed his face. “How about three hundred head of mama cows?”
With a wry shake of his head, Clancy said, “It’s good to see you still have your sense of humor.”
His father’s fingers tightened around his. “Don’t worry, son, I’m going to be around to see your baby born—my grandchild. You just make Olivia see that she needs to be a part of our family. That’s the best medicine you could give me.”
Clancy couldn’t believe his ears. Up until this very moment Orin hadn’t given him any sort of lecture or advice on the subject of Olivia and the coming baby, even though Clancy had informed him of the situation. But now that his father was lying flat on his back in a hospital bed, he seemed to consider it the most important issue on his mind.
“Dad, now isn’t the time for you to be worrying about me or Olivia. You—”
Before he could finish a nurse suddenly entered the room carrying a medicine cup filled with some sort of liquid.
“Sorry,” she said briskly as she motioned Clancy toward the door. “Mr. Calhoun needs his rest. I’m sure Doctor Kennedy will allow him more visits tomorrow.”
