Bad Influence, page 22
“You put a dedication to me in the code of the website?”
The irony of it all was the only reason she even knew that people could do that was because he’d told her once. He had stories of hackers filing secret messages away in the code of a website they’d compromised. Like Hansel and Gretel–style bread crumbs for anyone who knew to look.
“Mr. Justice has it. I didn’t put your full name, but he knows it’s you.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not having this discussion in the rain,” he said. She couldn’t discern anything from his tone or his expression. His face was blank, restraint fully in his grasp. “We’re going upstairs. Now.”
* * *
Joseph didn’t say a word the entire trip up to Annie’s apartment. However, the lack of talking didn’t mean his head was clear. The fallout was already flashing in his mind like a montage of his demise. It would be the spike upon which the executive members who wanted him out would mount his head.
Annie unlocked her front door with shaking hands. He was furious, but seeing her pain and remorse was as bad as knowing his career was about to come crashing down around him. He could only imagine what people would say. What his father would say.
It would justify every bad word Morris had ever said about Annie. It would validate the prediction that loving her would be Joseph’s downfall.
She shrugged out of his coat and held it out, but instead of slipping into it, he hung it on the rack next to the door. No way was he leaving until this issue was resolved.
“Say something,” she said, her eyes huge. It was the exact expression she’d worn when she’d found him packing his suitcase three years ago. “Yell, scream, do whatever you need to do.”
“What would any of that achieve?” He ground the words out. She wanted him to throw his emotions around, to be an angry firework like his father. Not going to happen. “I want to know why you did it.”
“I was angry. Hurt.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. The rain had started to bring the curl out. “It was stupid.”
“Of course it was fucking stupid.” His voice was like ice. “This whole thing was stupid. I left when I didn’t want to, and you stayed when you didn’t need to. We could so easily have worked the situation out if we weren’t both so…egotistical.”
Maybe it wasn’t even ego. Maybe it was a sense of entitlement born out of the fact that neither one of them had ever considered that they might not be together in the future. They’d been so convinced they could beat the odds, that they would stay together forever because they wanted to. But in the face of their first real challenge as a couple, they’d failed.
“You think?” Tears shimmered in her eyes. “Because I don’t. We were doomed from the start. Your parents were never going to accept me. Your father cornered me the Christmas before we broke up and told me I was a gold digger and that he was going to have a watertight prenup drawn up if we ever got married.”
“What?” He could feel the ice cracking now, composure sliding through his fingers. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What would have been the point?” She threw her hands in the air. “You never wanted to take sides, and I respected that. I knew you loved me, and I didn’t give a shit about your money. I would have happily signed the damn thing.”
“You say that, but then on the other hand you say we would never have worked because of what my family thought. You didn’t give me a chance to tell you what I thought.” He was almost vibrating with anger now, his fists clenched as he tried with every bit of willpower to stay calm. To not be like his father. “There would have been a prenup over my dead body. I would have given you every last cent I had.”
“I didn’t want your money! I still don’t. Prenup, no prenup, I didn’t care.” She rubbed her hands over her face, her cheeks flushed while the rest of her was pale with worry. “I only wanted you.”
Were his parents really so worried about protecting their wealth that they would push away the one person who truly loved their son?
“You should have told me,” he said. “I deserved a chance to speak for myself.”
Her eyes were watery, and there was a slash of red dotting her lip where she’d bitten too hard. He should be furious. She’d risked his career. If it got out that he was connected to Bad Bachelors, his time as CIO would be done. He’d be disgraced. Damaged goods. Nobody would hire him.
“What did Mr. Justice want?” he asked, already knowing what the answer would be.
“For me to shut it down,” she said. “He wants Bad Bachelors gone.”
“And how are you planning to solve this problem?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I don’t have a solution. I asked him for more time. I made out like I was going to shut it down, but that I needed time to make it happen.”
“So you stalled?”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
If he knew anything about hackers, the damage would already be done. It was easy to shut a website down, even if it would take a little while to pull the app from all the major platforms. Mr. Justice would have to know that Annie was bluffing.
“Aren’t you going to tell me I’m a horrible person?” she asked. “That I’m a vindictive villain who’s going to ruin things for you.”
“Going to?” he asked.
“That I already have.”
He didn’t know what to do. “What did you actually write in the code?”
“To Joseph, this is for you.”
The words were like a sharp blade driving between his ribs, shaving the bone and hitting something soft on the other side. What must she have been feeling when she typed those words? “When did you do it?”
“The day I saw the picture of you and Annika.” She faced him head-on, not shying away from her confession or trying to soften it. He’d always loved her inner strength, that iron will she used to face any tough situation without flinching. “I saw her wearing the ring, and it was like something snapped.”
“You know if this gets out, I’ll be fired,” he said. “The bank took a risk in hiring me, and this kind of press won’t be good.”
“I didn’t put your last name in the code.” Her eyes darted back and forth like she was trying to come up with a solution. “Joseph could be anyone. I’ll deny it was you.”
“And how are you going to do that without giving yourself away?”
She wrung her hands. “I’ll release a statement on the Bad Bachelors website. And I can push a notification to all users of the app.”
“That’ll add gasoline to the fire.” He shook his head and wandered over to the window to look out at the view. The people of Manhattan were going about their business on the streets below. What he wouldn’t give to be anonymous for once in his life. “It will only bring more attention to the rumors.”
“Who’s going to believe some faceless person on the internet?” she asked.
“Isn’t that exactly what Bad Bachelors is predicated on? Users put stock in the opinions of people they don’t even know.”
Behind him, Annie was silent as she walked across the room. A few seconds later, her presence was strong behind him, almost like she was debating about reaching out to touch him. Their pull was something he felt down to the very marrow of his bones. Like an invisible thread connected them, he anticipated her. Craved her.
“Or do you think that an anonymous website user has more credit than a hacker?” he asked.
“I guess they’re the same, aren’t they? Why should we believe one and not the other?” She pressed herself gently to his back, her cheek resting against his spine with her hands sliding around his waist. “I’m sorry, Joe.”
He shut his eyes, reveling in the feel of her embrace—the one she’d used every time they’d fought. For the first few years of their relationship, each little argument had resulted in her being convinced he would leave. That he would realize she was beneath him. Only he’d never come to that conclusion, because it was false. They were equals, then and now.
“I was going to ask you to marry me,” he said. In front of him, the city glistened. He couldn’t even remember how many times he’d stood in this spot, thinking about the future—their future—and making plan after plan for his fantasy life. The business he wanted to create, the places they would explore together. The family they would build. “I had it all planned out for when we landed in Singapore. I had a hotel room booked, champagne and flowers waiting.”
“Did you think about me after you left?” Her voice was thick, and it cracked on the last word.
“Every fucking day.”
But there was so much water under the bridge now. Damaged trust, resentment, a steaming pile of bad decisions that couldn’t be erased. Two families who hated one another. If the odds had been against them before, where the hell did that leave them now?
“What should I do?” she asked, her arms squeezing him.
“Whatever you want, Annie. The damage is already done.” His phone started ringing from the pocket inside his coat. When he slipped it out and saw that his messages had blown up, he knew the news was already out. So he turned his phone off and put it back into his pocket. “I don’t want you endangering yourself by coming out with your identity.”
“You think I should bend to him?” she asked.
“I think you should sell. Let Mr. Justice be someone else’s problem. Someone who has the means to deal with him. Take the money and do something amazing with your life. You want to help people? Do that. Find a way to use the money for something that will fulfill you and benefit others.”
Chapter 17
“The creator of Bad Bachelors continues to be a mystery. That was, until our attention was drawn to a blog post where a piece of the site’s source code was published. Hidden between lines of code is a dedication…”
“Do you hate me?” she asked. Joseph’s jacket was soft against her cheek, his body familiar and warm in her arms.
“Never.” He extracted himself from her grasp and turned around. This was the old Joseph coming back, the one who shut down when emotions ran high. The one who walked away when things got tough. “What’s done is done.”
They had so much between them. So much history, so much pain. “I know I have no right to ask but…will you stay the night?”
His eyes flicked over her face. “You know my position on this.”
“Will you stay with me, in my bed?” Asking this question was like ripping herself open. Exposing her vulnerabilities to him. “Will you fall asleep with me?”
There was a glimmer of something then, a tightening of the muscles in his neck. A tensing in his jaw. He was fighting the feeling, fighting his reaction. “Will it mean something to you?”
“Yes.” Her voice was shaky and raw. Roughed up, like her heart. “It will mean something.”
He brought his head down to hers, lips meeting her open and hot. He tasted sweet, like the wine they’d had at dinner mixed with something salty. Tears. Hers. She fisted her hands in his shirt, and he slipped his palms down her back, over her ass until he lifted her up, coaxing her legs around his waist. She locked her feet behind him and wound her arms around his neck. Hanging on with everything she had.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured against his lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“I am too, baby.” Their kisses were deep and rough, like they wanted to wrench every bit of passion out of this moment. Because this would be it.
Tomorrow he would return to work, and to protect his career, he’d have to keep his distance. She would sell Bad Bachelors and have the chance to do things right a second time. They would both lose one another again. But tonight, they could pretend it wasn’t all falling apart.
Tonight, they could say the goodbye they’d never had the first time around.
Joseph walked them through the apartment, dodging every piece of furniture with ease and navigating to the bedroom without the use of his eyes or hands. Those never left her. His fingers tangled in her hair, cradling her scalp as he kissed her senseless. She returned fire by nipping at his lower lip and pressing her chest against his. Her nipples were hard, and each step caused her to rub against him, friction turning her wild with need.
But there was an undercurrent of fear beneath the inferno of lust. Because this did mean something to her. Hell, it meant everything. After what she’d done, Joseph could have walked right out of the apartment and vowed never to return. He could have done worse—exposed her before she exposed him.
But there were no words of retribution or threats. Once again—as he had done over and over in their relationship—he’d put her needs first. How had she never seen how selfless he was? That him leaving wasn’t about putting his career before her family, but about him reacting to her placing him second?
She wanted to punch her old self. He was right. They could have made it work. If only she hadn’t let his family get into her head…
“I should never have made you feel like you were second best,” she said. “I let everything get to me. Mom’s cancer, your dad’s words…”
“I let them get to me too,” he said. They were in the bedroom now, and he sank to his knees on the mattress, still holding her. Cradling her. “He pushed me so hard to take that job in Singapore. I thought it would…”
He thought it would make Morris love him, but now he saw the truth. Morris would never love anyone but himself. Her heart shattered all over again. All he’d ever wanted was the man’s love and respect.
“I knew once I started the job that I’d made a mistake. Dad wasn’t any different. He didn’t suddenly think I was worthy of his time. And I’d lost you.” He buried his face in her hair, his hands roaming her body—the blend of bittersweet and scorching hot making her mind swing like a pendulum. “I’d lost the one bright spot in my world.”
“We’ve made a mess, haven’t we?”
Joseph laughed, though the sound was anything but humorous. “We sure have.”
“And now we’re saying goodbye again.” Why did it hurt so badly? It wasn’t like she thought they’d ever get back together. “I wish I could fix this.”
“The only way we can fix this is to go our separate ways.” He stroked her face, gentle hands tracing the edge of her mouth and the angle of her jaw. She did the same, feeling the scratch of his beard and the firmness of his lips. “If I have any chance of salvaging my job, I have to get distance from Bad Bachelors.”
The finality of his statement was like a punch to her gut. And she had no one to blame but herself. “I’ll stay away.”
An expression flickered over his face, but it was gone before she could interpret it. “You know why I have to do it, don’t you? If anyone sees us together, they might figure it out. It’s safer for us both to walk away.”
“I know.” She nodded, fighting back the emotion that reared up like a tidal wave. “I agree it’s the right thing to do.”
“Then let’s not waste tonight. I don’t want you thinking about the past or about tomorrow or about anything besides how good you’re going to feel when I’m inside you.”
“Yes, I want that too.” She swallowed her doubt and regret. “I want you.”
“If this is it…” For a second he was as vulnerable as her, his eyes finally revealing what was going on inside. “I don’t want us to waste a second. Because I won’t be coming back.”
“I know.”
“I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe.” He brushed the hair from her forehead, tucking it behind her ears. “But it won’t be me guarding your door, okay?”
It hurt so goddamn much that she wanted to crumple into a ball and beg God to make her vanish. Was it possible that losing him was even more painful the second time around? Or was it simply that time had smoothed the edges of her memory, erasing the jagged bits and filling in the grooves?
“I understand.” She pressed her lips to his so softly it was like kissing air. “Please, just make me feel good now. Tomorrow can wait.”
He laid her down on the bed and rocked back to a standing position. There was nothing more blissful than watching Joseph strip down. His hands were unhurried, commanding. They turned the simple action of removing a suit jacket into an erotic act. As he popped the buttons on his shirt, revealing a widening V of skin and ridged muscle, Annie could only watch. He yanked the shirt from the waistband of his pants and then started on his fly.
He pulled the zipper all the way down, his erection pressed forward. Black boxer-briefs did little to hide his arousal, the fabric stretching taut over his straining cock. She swallowed as his thumbs hooked under the elastic and he shoved it all down—suit pants and underwear—so that he was almost naked. In seconds his shoes, shirt, and socks joined the pile of clothing and he stood before her, totally bare.
“Your turn,” he growled, reaching down to wrap a fist around his cock. “Take it slow.”
Her brain failed to get into gear, her body sluggish like someone else was controlling her limbs. Tugging on her strings. She fumbled with the fly on her jeans. All the while, Joseph stroked himself and she watched, mesmerized by the slow but strong up-and-down pumping action, by the way his head peeked out over the top of his fist with each downward stroke. Suddenly, her mouth was dry, and she realized she’d been frozen for a second.
“Keep going,” he said. “Jeans off.”
She shoved them down her thighs and wriggled her legs until the fabric fell over the edge of the bed. Then she pulled her top up and over her head, before sending it to the floor. Cool air brushed over her heated skin, making her nipples even harder. They pressed against the sheer fabric of her bra. Growing up, Annie had always been self-conscious about her less-than-buxom chest. But Joseph had treated her body like it was perfection, and over the years she’d come to believe his compliments.
