Remembering Yesterday, page 4
She hadn’t gotten the chance last night to study the tattoos that covered most of his forearms. He only had one more on his left shoulder. A sudden memory of them together, in a shop in Aberdeen—the next town over—laughing while getting their ink, burned into her mind.
The memory went just as fast as it came.
He placed pancakes on a plate, along with scrambled eggs, and she swallowed hard when she saw that they were her favorites. Blueberry. She bit her lip as she realized that all the stuff she loved to eat for breakfast was laid out on the table.
He knew so much about her. He certainly knew her body. They had not gotten a chance to talk at all in the night. Instead, they had made love five times, starting in the living room and ending in the bedroom. She had never dreamt she could come so continuously. There were times he had been so intense and rough that he had scared her. Yet within the fear her craving for both him and his body never left her. Then he had changed like the weather and become tender and so gentle her heart had ached with yearning. Then they had become playful and they had tumbled together in mock wrestling laughing and giggling, contented in the sensual bubble they had created.
“Are you going to stay in the doorway the entire morning?”
She laughed lightly. It was shocking how comfortable she felt with him. It was as if her body knew what her mind did not. She went around the table and sat, then inhaled the aroma of the pancakes, eggs and bacon, before taking a sip of her orange juice. But the best smell in the whole kitchen was Devlin, it felt intoxicating and she wondered if she could be addicted to his fragrance.
“I have a butterfly tattoo on my lower back and one on my left shoulder blade. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten it. But I just had an image of us visiting Joe Joe’s shop.”
He chuckled and winked at her. “You had always wanted one. That day you dared me to get it.”
She smiled. “My parents weren’t happy about it. In fact, that was one of the first things they asked me when I left the hospital. I just . . . couldn’t remember.”
He stared at her, the smile slowly fading from his face. “It was July last year. You’d just graduated and wanted to do something wild and fun. Not only did you want to take a walk on the wild side, you were appalled I did not have any ink. So we got them together.”
His words were like an artist’s brush, vividly painting the images in her mind.
“We rode your bike,” she said softly. “And I wore your black leather jacket, the one with the tear on the inside.” She had loved that jacket. He’d not replaced it, not for sentimental reasons, but because his family had been poor and he’d used his money for greater needs. Her throat tightened.
“You remembered.”
“Barely, but I am very grateful for it.”
“The scar on your lower back . . . it’s from the accident?”
Last night, he had traced it with his fingertip, and then his tongue, as he’d taken her from behind on his bed. She swallowed, ignoring the arousal that teased at her. “Yes . . . from the wreck. It is one of my two scars from it.” She pushed back her hair to show him a thin line on her scalp. “This is my only other injury.”
“How long were you hospitalized for?”
“Three weeks.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he murmured roughly. “So fucking sorry.”
She met his eyes. “Where were you? Why weren’t you in my life?”
His expression shuttered. “Wouldn’t you prefer to eat your breakfast first?”
“No.”
He leaned back in his chair with a sigh. “You broke up with me.”
She stiffened. “I did?”
“Yeah.”
“Was it bad?” she asked.
“Bad enough. I was leaving town.” He cleared his throat. “My father had just died and I needed to leave. To get away. I asked you to come with me. You said no, and I left.”
His eyes held a wealth of pain, even though his voice was so carefully neutral.
“What aren’t you telling me? Please I would like to know everything from the beginning. How did we meet? What do you like to do?”
He stared at her for so long Ava feared he wouldn’t answer.
“The summer of 2014, I caught you skinny dippy in Lake Coonan.”
She sucked in a breath as the memory exploded straight into her mind.
“What are you doing here?” She had said demanding his attention, as if her nudity had not already got it. She had expected him to apologize, turn around and go away. He had been amused at her imperious posturing.
“Does the Kane princess think she owns the lake?” he had sneered strolling even closer to her distress.
“Of course not. I…I…I just didn’t expect anyone to be here. I’m naked!” Ava had tried to protect her virtue by swimming out even further into the lake so the water stopped at her chin.
“I can see that.” A sensual smile quirked his lips, then he started to undress slowly like a dancer, confident of his masculine beauty. And she had watched, no, she’d devoured him with her eyes and he had grinned lazily back at her, knowing his sensuality. She had tried to deny her fascination, but had been unable to.
“What are you doing? You can’t come in here!” She had felt shocked at his lack of modesty in his nakedness as he had stood stretching, displaying himself to her, shocked as her body had reacted with a longing to touch.
“The night is hot, princess, and I came out to have a cooling dip in the lake. You can leave if you wish. I won’t stop you…”
“I am not leaving.”
“Neither am I, princess.”
Ava smiled. “I remember . . . I don’t remember how we got together, but just now I recalled our meeting. You stripped, and dove into the water.””
He nodded. “That night, we spoke for the first time since school and we never really talked there. I had just sold my first piece to the mayor, and I wanted to celebrate by dipping my ass naked in the lake.”
At her obviously puzzled look he expounded. “I make things, tables, headboards, furniture . . . with my own unique designs.”
Ava glanced around the kitchen, noting the high quality and beauty of the cupboards, table and chairs. She knew she’d imagined furniture like this in the past. A memory, in which she was talking animatedly about her dream house to someone—had it been him?—flashed through her mind. This room was everything she’d described. “Oh.”
He shifted in his chair and pushed away his plate, even though it was still full. “Even today, I’m not sure how it started. But we bonded that night. And we started meeting at the lake. Every night. You were afraid your father would see us together and, at first, I understood. I was a Calhoun, the son of the town’s most famous drunk and brawler. It got to the point where, for dinner, we would drive miles to the other towns. But I didn’t mind, because I had you. I fell in love with you within weeks, and after eight months of dating and sneaking around I asked you to marry me. You said yes.”
Her heart jerked. “We’re engaged?” the memory of the straw ring he had given her roared in her head again. How could her parents not have known she was engaged?
A cynical smile curved his sensual lips. “We were still not trumpeting the knowledge around town. We were being careful, as you had wished. But then I did something that angered you and you broke it off.”
Her mouth went dry. “What did you do?”
“I went to your father and declared my intentions.” He rubbed his jaw with a grimace. “And he punched me. Claimed I was a no-account Calhoun and not good enough for you. I did not hit him back. I just left. You were angry that I hadn’t kept hiding us like you wanted, and I accused you of not loving me as much as you said you did. It was our first real argument and it was brutal. My father died of a heart attack a few days later and you came to see me. To offer your condolences.”
Devlin laughed wryly. “My father was the only other reason—besides you—that kept me tied to this town. You knew that. My brothers weren’t here. Joshua went off the year before to join the marines and Matt was in Aberdeen serving the rest of his sentence. After my father died, I needed to leave Benton. You and I had made plans together, and dreamed of how we would leave eventually. I still wanted to go. To escape and get away from everything.”
His jaw tightened and pain flashed in his gaze before he slammed the shutters down. “I asked you to come with me. You said no . . . that instead, you had promised your father you would end things with me. That I could not offer you the life you need.”
A memory of her father’s anger rose in her.
“You’ll end things with the Calhoun boy or by God I will destroy him. It must never been know you were consorting with that…that…”
The disgust that had been in her father’s tone had a knot tightening in her belly.
“What kind of plans did we have?” Her fingers clenched as she waited tensely for his answer.
He smiled. “You would become a famous children’s author and take the world by storm. I would make furniture that people would die to possess. We were going to carve our life together, eventually travel and see the world.”
She nodded, a sweet feeling twisting through her. “Yes. That makes sense. I finished the book.”
He tensed. “What?”
“I-I have some memories of working on your old typewriter. By the lake, too. I finished the book. In fact, I recently signed a book contract for it.”
Pleasure lit his eyes. “Congratulations. I knew you had it in you.”
Ava warmed at his praise. That was one of the memories which had pushed her to visit him tonight. She’d remembered when he had handed her the old typewriter. It had belonged to his mom. Ava had laughed and pointed out she had a laptop, but she’d still started her story on that old typewriter.
Devlin had supported her. While even now, her father still believed she was wasting her degree in journalism. He believed she should be working for the town’s only newspaper writing pastries recipes.
And yet, she had decided to give Devlin up? She must have been crazy.
She covered her face with her hands. She did not remember so many of the events that he had told her about just now, but she knew how her father would have reacted. She had seen his reaction when she asked who Devlin Calhoun was. He had shown rage, suspicion and distaste in his eyes.
She belonged to one of the wealthiest families in Benton, one of the founding families, and she knew the type of boys her father wanted her to date. Boys like Patrick, the son of the Mayor. Boys, who moved in the circles in which her family existed. Boys, whom she did not care for or desire. Boys, who could never make her happy, never fulfil her like she felt with Devlin.
But even so, she could not believe she had just given in to her father. Given up the man she loved to appease him, she found it hard to believe.
“You stole a car at sixteen,” she said softy.
Amusement flashed in his gaze. “Borrowed.”
“Why did you do it?”
He frowned.
Her stomach flipped in an unsettling way. “I’ve asked you this already.”
Regret gleamed in his gaze, then a smile tugged at his lips. “Yes, but I do not mind speaking of it again. Joshua was sick. We called the sheriff’s office and—”
She gasped. “And Mrs. Rudy didn’t send anyone, so you borrowed the pastor’s car, hotwired it and drove him to the hospital yourself. Of course Mrs. Rudy remembered to send the deputy to arrest you.”
He grinned. “You remembered.”
Ava nodded, unable to speak, choking on the memories wafting through her thoughts. “Pastor Timms was more forgiving than the rest of the town. I recall how we whispered and pointed at school, and how proud you were.”
He grunted noncommittally.
“So when will I be able to grab a copy of your book?”
The warmest sensation built up inside and burst in her chest. “In about four months’ time.” She searched his face intently. “Devlin?”
“Yeah.”
“You left, and I was okay with you leaving my life?” Could it be that this fascinating man had only been a fling to her and she’d had no greater affection beyond sex?
She saw his hesitation. “What is it? Please tell me, Devlin.”
“We made love that night you came to me. I thought it meant we were back together. But apparently, you were only offering comfort and saying goodbye.”
Her hands trembled and she realized she was still holding her fork. She set it down with a sharp click. “I am so sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Ava. I was the one that gave up on you too soon.”
She frowned and shifted in the chair. “I don’t understand.”
“As you made your way to leave the lake that evening, I told you I was closing up the trailer house. That I would be leaving town on December thirteenth.”
A roaring sounded in her head and she felt lightheaded.
“I told you I would wait for you on the high rise at Cedar Bluff. And I would wait until five that afternoon. If I didn’t see you, I would know you had chosen to let go of what we had, and I wouldn’t pressure you anymore. I waited there until well past five. I finally drove off at about midnight, not knowing you lay hurt only a few miles away from me. If I had listened to my gut and ignored my pride, I would have come after you, begged you to come with me. I would have known the truth of the situation. Instead, I left.”
She had chosen him. She had loved him. Her throat closed in pain. For her to have made such a choice, she would have had to have informed her parents. They knew what she was doing at that side of town. Every time she drove out there, wondering where she had been going the day she crashed, her parents had always known. Ava was painfully aware that her parents viewed the missing chuck of her memory as a box best left sealed, but for them to lie to her when she had been so desperate for answers? That was just cruel and so hypocritical.
Devlin scraped back his chair and drew her into his arms. “Hey. Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry, baby. I was a fool. I should have turned back, I should have fought harder.”
She lifted her face blindly to his, wanting to taste him on her tongue. Wanting to bury the heartache she felt at her parents’ betrayal under pleasure. He took her lips in a scorching kiss. Seconds later he gentled his embrace, their kisses moving from passionate to soothing. With a soft sigh they broke apart.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
He rested his forehead against hers. “Any time.”
The loud blast of a ring tone cut through the silence and she jerked. Pulling from his arms she walked over to the counter to see her cell phone and car keys place neatly by the coffee pot. A quick glance at the screen revealed her mother’s number. Ava grabbed up the phone and answered, “Hi, Mom.”
“Ava, darling where are you? I thought we were to have breakfast with the garden club this morning?”
She shifted and leaned her hips against the counter. “I’m over at Willows’. I’ll be home this evening. Give them my apologies. Tell Mrs. Potter I’m sorry I missed it.”
Devlin stiffened and a shadow passed over his face. He walked from the room, granting her privacy, and her heart ache from the derisions she had just spied.
“You know I do not like you keeping company with that…girl.”
“Mom,” Ava said warily. They’d had this conversation so many times it was becoming draining. “I love Willow, just …please, not now okay?”
“She has tattoos,” her mother snapped primly.
“I have tattoos!”
Silence pulsed through the line and she could imagine the cold disapproval that would be on her mother’s face just now. “I have to go mom.”
“Are you okay?” Her mother’s tone was sharp and suspicious. “You don’t sound good. Let me come get you.”
“No, Mom I’m fine. I’ll be home soon. Love you.”
“Sure, honey, remember to concentrate on having a fresh—”
“I know, a fresh start. See you later mom.” Then she ended the call quickly. A fresh start. That was a well-used phrase her parents and doctor said, the implication being that her inability to recall the missing chuck of her life might well prove an unexpected blessing.
Resting her phone beside the keys, she walked through the kitchen to the living area. “Devlin?” There was no answer. She searched the rustic but very elegant ranch house, and realized he was not inside. She grabbed her pants from where they were neatly folded in the laundry room and drew them on, but she could not bear to take of his shirt. Clenching a fistful of the material she brought it to her nose and inhaled. A soft groan slipped from her. His shirt smelled of him and she wanted his fragrance close. A faint sound tugged her toward the back porch. She went outside and leaned against the railing. He was chopping wood.
Past and present collided as a memory of him doing the same action rushed through her. Only it was at a different side of town, the house had been more dilapidated and in desperate need of a coat of paint on both the inside and outside. There had been little to no furniture and what had been there, had been threadbare and uncomfortable. But their home had been clean. That day Devlin had spread a blanket on the grass, and she had lazed reading while he chopped. And after…God after he had made love with her with sensual intensity. Ava linked her hands tightly together in an effort to conceal their unsteadiness.
“You want to head out to Lake Coonan?” He asked without pausing his movements.
At her silence he finally lowered the axe and turned to her. Sweat glistened over his chest and chiseled abdomen. An ache stirred deep inside of her.
Meet me at the lake tonight, Devlin.
She swallowed as the ghost whisper of her demand floated away. “It’s cold.”
