Tribe Outsider, page 8
part #2 of Chosen Series
He eyed Tor to make sure he had asked all his questions before answering, “I do not know where he is, but I hope to find him and convince him to Present to Lily before she picks other mates. And I agree, I do not think she will care about his tail or his scars, but we must make him believe that. If he does not believe himself to be worthy of being Chosen he will never have the courage to Present. Our Lily may be very different from shevari Pashas but not so different that she would begin the imprint without the male first showing his interest. That would be akin to stealing a male’s will, and Lily would never do such a horrible thing.”
Arruk took a deep breath before facing Frrar and Tor, answering the question that bothered him most. “I did not tell her more about him because I… I am still ashamed I left him behind,” he admitted, tail drooping as guilt washed over him. “I should have done more to convince him to come with us. I should have—”
Tor’s fore hand came out of nowhere and flicked him on his sensitive ear, cutting him off mid-sentence, making him grunt in surprise and pain. His own fore hand flew up to cover the wounded appendage as he gaped wide-eyed at his friend.
“Wha… why in the Goddesses name would you do that?! That hurt!” Arruk growled, shocked Tor would do such a thing.
“When have any of us ever been able to convince Drrak to do something he does not want to do? Huh? Never. That is when. Stop kinking up your tail over something you had no power to change,” Tor fired back, rolling his eyes.
“Tor is right, Arruk. Besides, I do not believe you will need to convince Drrak of much once he sets eyes on Lily. Do you remember your first thought when we saw her?” Frrar asked with a faraway look in his eyes, as if remembering his own thoughts, before pinning Arruk with a challenging stare, daring him to argue.
“I thought she was beautiful, unlike anything I had ever seen,” Arruk answered slowly, beginning to smile. “I was drawn to her immediately, started to imprint the moment I touched her down-less skin,” he finished, perking back up as he imagined his brother’s reaction when he saw her.
“I thought she was weird,” Tor cut in.
He and Frrar both whipped a disbelieving look at the younger male, staring at him incredulously.
“What? She has two arms! And no tail! I’m not saying I wasn’t drawn to her, just that my first thought was of how different she is,” he muttered defensively, shoulders hunching at the appalled expressions on their faces.
“Speaking of our Pasha, I wonder what is taking her so long,” he blurted, turning to face the bush behind which she had disappeared.
He peeked at Frrar and Arruk out of the corner of his eye to see if his distraction worked.
It had. Tor blew out a quiet but relieved breath when they both faced the forest with him, ears stiff and angled forward to catch any sound, happy to have dodged the admonishment he knew Frrar was about to give him.
Now that he had brought it up, though, he realized their Pasha had actually been gone for quite a while. Tor frowned, angling his own ears forward, trying to detect any rustling or movement that would signal she was still hiding in the bush. He strained and thought he could just make out the sound of her voice, but it was much farther away than it should have been.
It was when he caught the barest of growls that every muscle in his body locked up and his curiosity and vague concern turned to horror. Cold washed over him as dread turned his stomach into a hard knot.
He whipped a look at his harem brothers.
“Pantari,” he breathed.
The three of them lunged forward, tearing through the forest, knives out, spears raised, ready to kill or die for their Lily.
Chapter 10
S he was just reaching out a hand to see if the cub would let her pet it when a thundering crash came from behind her. Shooting upright, she spun around just in time to see her guys come tearing through the forest, panic in their eyes.
Frrar was in the lead and took in the scene behind her instantly, baring his teeth. He let loose a loud, vicious growl when his gaze landed on the body of the pantari. Within a blink, he had her behind him, pushing her toward Tor and Arruk before she could proclaim the beast was dead, and she was safe.
Tor caught her before Frrar’s shove could send her sprawling to the ground. He helped her regain her footing even as he patted her down, feeling for any injuries. She knew Frrar hadn’t meant to push her that hard, knew he was trying to protect her, but she glowered at his back as she got her feet back underneath her and straightened in Tor’s arms.
Arruk shot past her just as she opened her mouth to reassure them she wasn’t in any danger, joining Frrar in blocking her from the perceived threat. Like Frrar, his knife was in one hand while his spear was poised over his head, ready to throw.
“Wait!” she cried urgently, pushing out of Tor’s protective hold to rush forward. “It’s dead! Don’t stab it, you could hit the baby!”
They obviously realized there was no danger because they let her squeeze between their bodies until she was standing in front of them. Lily knew, without a doubt, if they thought there was still a threat she wouldn’t have been able to get past them.
She opened her mouth to explain why she’d wandered off but stopped when Frrar, who had just relaxed his defensive pose, tensed up again. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the cub had gone back to hiding on the other side of its mother's body but had popped its head up just enough to peek at them.
She turned back to Frrar. He was standing stock-still, his eyes the only thing moving as he really took in the scene behind her. His expression slowly shifted from fierce and determined to haunted as he realized exactly what he was seeing. Lily could read the emotions that warred in his eyes; fear and loathing were fighting with empathy and understanding.
He had experienced what that cub went through, knew exactly how it felt to watch your parents die while you were too small and helpless to do anything to stop it.
Lily’s face instantly crumpled, hurting for him, regretful that her actions, however unintentional, had caused him to relive his parents’ deaths twice in the same day. She stepped closer, wrapped her arms around him and laid her cheek on his chest, giving him what comfort she could.
She held him as he stayed stiff in her hold, waited while he worked through his demons. She knew what his choice would be, knew he wasn’t any more capable of killing the cub than she was, even if the cub would grow into a monster one day.
Lily felt the moment empathy won out because the tension drained from him, and he returned her embrace. His resigned sigh fluttered the hair atop her head.
“Shh rrukt ua . Uk naa uk frrn aaras ,” he demanded, voice rough as he tightened his grip on her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, wincing when she heard the panic lingering in his voice while he told her she scared them and the pleading as he commanded she never do that again .
She reached out a hand, blindly pulling Arruk and Tor closer. She knew she scared them, too, even if they were letting Frrar have a moment with her because of his history.
They stepped closer immediately, their tails wrapping around her legs while their hands stroked her hair, arms, and sides. It felt more like being frisked than caressed, but she understood they still needed reassurance that she was really okay.
She tilted her head back, resting her chin on Frrar’s chest so she could see his face, and saw that he was already staring down at her. She needed him to see that she was genuinely sorry for scaring them, but she also needed him to know she had no plans to leave the cub to starve. It wasn’t enough to just not kill the poor thing—the animal lover in her demanded she help.
“I can’t leave it like that. I have to help it,” she murmured, torn between remorse for making Frrar stay near the kind of animal that had killed his parents and the absolute certainty that if she left it to die, the guilt would eat at her.
He slid his upper hands up her back and neck, over Tor’s and Arruk’s hands, to cup her cheeks while his lower still held her close to him. He gave her a strained, but knowing smile, as if he anticipated she would say that and, though he didn’t exactly like it, he agreed .
She blew out a relieved breath that he understood, returning his smile before kissing his chest.
Turning in their arms so she could see Tor and Arruk, she tilted her head back, reading their expressive faces. They were both clearly relieved she was unharmed but under that was confusion. She assumed they wanted answers as to why she had wandered off in the first place. Her guys knew she couldn’t just walk away once she’d found the cub, but she could see they wanted to know why she had left to begin with.
She needed to explain what had drawn her away—despite knowing how dangerous the forest could be—because they knew she wouldn’t have gone if it hadn’t been important, but she was worried the reminder of her lost pet would hurt Arruk.
This is going to suck. Just say it quick, like pulling off a band-aid.
“I heard something. I… I thought it could’ve been Seti,” she admitted quietly, her eyes darting up to Arruk in time to see him flinch.
“Mek Pasha, I saw… ” Arruk started to say but stopped, his rumbling voice catching as he squeezed his eyes shut. “Seti fell , mek Lily. I try to… yurrta ,” he frowned, the skin over his brow bone creasing as he tried to find the word. His upper and lower hands clutched at air like he was trying to grab something .
“I know, honey,” Lily whispered, her chest constricting as she understood what he was trying to say. “I know you tried to catch her.”
She reached up to cup his jaw, brushing her thumbs over his patterned skin. When he opened his eyes and met her stare, she saw regret and remorse that he hadn’t been able to save her pet, but she knew him well enough to see the hurt he was trying to hide.
She realized that, by not accepting Seti’s death, she was hurting Arruk; to him it meant she didn’t trust him enough to believe him, didn’t think he would’ve done everything in his power to save Seti if there had been any chance her pet had still been alive.
She felt lower than dirt at that pained look and wanted to explain but didn’t know how to tell him it wasn’t that she didn’t believe him; it was just an empty hope. It wasn’t him at all, it was a way to try to alleviate just a bit of the guilt she felt that her stupidity had such a high price.
But making herself feel better with hollow wishes wasn’t worth causing Arruk pain.
“I’m sorry,” she choked, dropping her head forward to press her brow against his upper stomach as she clutched at his sides. “I know she’s dead, I just… didn’t want it to be true, because that meant I got her killed,” she confessed, fo rcing the words past the knot of tears trying to choke her.
“No.”
The steely tone in that one word shocked her, not just because of the force behind it, but because it came from Tor. She had never heard him use that tone with anyone. He was her light-hearted, playful mate. Hearing it from him now was enough to stop her tears. She lifted her head from Arruk’s stomach and turned to face him, staring at him in wide-eyed surprise.
Tor cupped her cheeks, bending down until they were eye-to-eye, his face more serious than she could ever remember seeing it. He shook his head slowly and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs before repeating, “No.”
His voice was softer that time but no less powerful. The message in his gaze told her everything he didn’t have the words to say. Sympathy, understanding, and an absolute refusal to let her blame herself shone in his pale blue stare.
She felt closer to Tor in that moment than ever before—felt like he could see all of her, knew everything she was feeling. The weight of guilt she’d been carrying lifted more and more with every second they stared at each other, as though he were silently giving her permission to let go of the responsibility she’d claimed for Seti’s death .
He gave her a look, the alien equivalent of cocking an eyebrow, as if waiting for her to give him some sign that she understood, that she believed him—Seti’s death wasn’t her fault.
She knew letting go of the guilt completely would take time, but she nodded anyway, because even if he couldn’t magically absolve her of those feelings, she did feel much better. He smiled at her then, swooping in to give her a smacking kiss. He chucked her under her chin with his tail when he straightened. He turned to look at Arruk while she stood there blinking at him, dumbfounded and weirdly turned on from the new side of him she was seeing.
“Shh ana , Arruk. Naa shhk iarrnu ,” Tor barked sternly, pointing a too-long finger up at the bigger male.
Lily snickered at the stupefied expression on Arruk’s face, like he was both taken aback and amazed, and watched as he nodded slowly just as she had, clearly unwilling to argue when Tor had his bossy pants on.
They do say marriage changes people.
She smiled, holding back a laugh when she reached out to lower Tor’s finger, giving the tip a little kiss before letting go and moving to Arruk. She went up on tiptoe, pulling him down to meet her halfway, and pecked his mouth before walking to Frrar and kissing him.
Stepping back, she turned, bending to clear a spot on the ground free of leaves and debris then used the hilt of her knife to dig. Arruk and Tor squatted down on either side of her, helping while Frrar stayed at her back, his tail wrapped securely around her middle as he watched the forest around them.
When it was deep enough, she and Arruk stood back while Tor stabbed the middle until water bubbled to the surface. She glanced over at where the cub was hiding in time to see its pink nose rising into the air, just visible over its mother’s body, sniffing as if it could smell the water.
“All right guys, back up,” she whispered once the hole was full, gently guiding Tor and Arruk to stand behind her with Frrar.
Crouching down, she flicked her fingertips in the water, splashing it lightly to try to tempt the cub closer.
“Come here little buddy, it’s safe. The big scary aliens won’t hurt you,” she coaxed, ignoring the disgruntled grumbles behind her.
The cub slowly, cautiously, crawled up and over its mother, little muzzle still sniffing the air while it kept its black eyes locked suspiciously on the men at her back. It continued forward one step at a time until it was about a foot from the water, where it stopped. It stretched its neck out as far as it could and extended its black tongue, trying to reach the puddle without getting any closer.
Lily muffled her laughter at how adorably ridiculous the cub looked all stretched out like that.
When that didn’t work, it growled in apparent frustration and took a reluctant step closer until it could reach, its eyes bouncing between the four of them. It darted its head down quickly to lap at the water but once it started it couldn’t seem to stop. It drank until the level of the little puddle dropped visibly and water bubbled up to fill it again.
While it was drinking, Lily slowly reached out a hand to pet it, pretending she didn’t hear Frrar’s warning growl. Just as she was about to make contact with the tip of the cub’s pointy white ear, it jerked its head up and nipped at her fingers. Fortunately, Frrar tightened his tail around her middle, jerking her back so the cub’s teeth just missed her.
Bad idea! Sharp little daggers almost took a chunk out of my fingertips!
The bitey little stinker gave her a narrow-eyed glare before huffing then ducked back down to continue lapping and that time, Lily couldn’t hold back her laugh.
Little guy thinks he’s vicious. Doesn’t realize he’s skin and bones and would fall over at the first stiff breeze.
She sat down, crossing her legs to get more comfortable, and dug out more berries from her pouch, getting a variety to see what it might like better than the frrlin . Those were clearly the pantari version of brussel sprouts .
She still didn’t know if pantari were strictly carnivores and the cub only ate the berries because it was starving or if they were omnivores. Regardless, fruit was what she had to offer. When the cub finally sat back, having had its fill of water, she rolled half-a-dozen different kinds of berries toward it and watched as it immediately set into all of them, even the dirty sock fruit. It looked at her expectantly when it had eaten all she’d given it, its tail flicking impatiently until she rolled over the remainder of her stash.
She felt a bump on her shoulder and glanced over to see Arruk holding out his own leaf pouch, still full of fruit. She took it with a grin, meeting his eyes as she did and found him smiling at her softly. Setting the pouch on the ground, she grabbed his hand before he could straighten back up and pressed a kiss to the palm, grateful for his silent support.
After a while, when Arruk’s pouch was almost empty, she felt a tap on her shoulder and knew they had to leave. She sighed but stood, dusting the dirt off her bare thighs. She bit back the question she wanted to ask, knowing there was no way she could take it with them. It wouldn’t be a cub forever; eventually, it would grow up and become a danger to her and the shevari people.
At least I know it won’t starve. Today, anyway .
“Bye little buddy. Stay safe, okay?” she whispered, smiling sadly when it cocked its head at her.
She turned to Tor, raising her arms for him to pick her up, since it was his turn to carry her, but paused when the cub made a plaintive sound behind her.
“Pantari es not citri, mek Lily. Shh uknaa herii fa ,” Frrar responded to the expression she knew was on her face before she could even ask the question on the tip of her tongue.
She knew he was right but what made her turn to look at him was the regret she could hear in his voice. She found him staring at the cub with a furrowed brow and downturned lips, his tail limp behind him.
She watched as he crouched down and emptied his own pouch of food on the ground at his feet, then gave the cub one last look before he sighed, gesturing for them to leap into the branches above.
She raised her arms again when Tor stepped forward to lift her but stared at the cub as he picked her up. She waved sadly at it before squeezing her eyes shut as Tor jumped and landed on the lowest limb of the tree they had been under.
