Most Eligible Cowboy, page 13
“Will do. Enjoy your night.”
Colter ended the call with a curse, tossing his cell onto the counter.
“That couldn’t have been a good call.”
His gaze snapped up. He discovered Adeline standing in the kitchen, her arms folded over her chest. His chest squeezed at her red-rimmed eyes. “It wasn’t,” he said, moving to her in an instant. He opened his arms, and she walked right into them. “Julia has requested a meeting.”
“Why?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his waist.
Colter pressed a kiss against her forehead, liking how she fit so perfectly in his hold. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
She gave him a good squeeze, then stepped out of his arms. “When’s the meeting?”
“I don’t know yet,” he said. Done talking about Julia, and not wanting the focus to drift from Adeline tonight, he moved to the cabinet next to the sink and took out two plates. “Beef stroganoff okay?”
“Yes, sounds amazing,” she said with a small smile, following him. “Thanks for making me dinner.”
He began adding egg noodles from the strainer in the sink to her plate. “I’d ask if you were all right, but I know that’s a stupid question.”
She took out forks from the drawer. “It’s not a stupid question, and I am all right.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, scooping the sauce onto the noodles.
“If you have wine, then yes, along with a giant glass.”
“That I can do,” he said, handing her the plate.
He quickly fixed his own dinner, setting the plate on the kitchen table, and then grabbed a bottle of red wine from the wine rack. He poured them both a glass while she took a seat at the table. When he set a glass in front of her, he said, “So. Today was a day.”
She gave a dry laugh. “It was, for certain, a day.”
He joined her at the table and waited while she stared down at her meal. “I really wasn’t expecting him to have a family.”
“I’m sorry I never told you,” he said, hating himself for it. He had figured she simply hadn’t wanted to discuss Eric’s family, and he hadn’t wanted to add another dagger to her already-bruised heart. “I didn’t realize you hadn’t heard that when you learned about him.”
She lifted her head, her eyes haunted, wounded. “You have nothing to apologize for,” she said softly. “How could you know what I know and what I don’t?” He took her hand in his, drawn into the pain seeping from her. She visibly swallowed before continuing. “From what I knew of Eric, he was an alcoholic. A terrible person. But today, that’s not who I saw. I saw a family man. A father who was beloved by his family. Did you see how they looked at him? They adored him.”
Colter squeezed her hand and nodded. “From what I’ve seen of him since I moved home, he’s good to his family. It’s why I was surprised when you said he was an alcoholic. That’s not the man I know.”
Her breath hitched and her chin trembled. “Then, if he is this great guy, why wouldn’t he have tried to find me?”
Her weepy eyes felt equal to a dagger in his chest. He grabbed her chair, yanking her closer to him, cupping her face. “Whatever Eric did or did not do is on him. Not on you. You are a beautiful, brilliant, strong woman, and I have no doubt that Eric saw that today and regrets whatever terrible choices he’s made along the way.”
“Maybe,” she said quietly, hanging her head. A tear dripped onto her bare leg. “Maybe not. But it doesn’t change the fact that he should have been there in my life. For all the important moments. Even for the unimportant ones.” Her voice got smaller, shoulders curling. “I wanted him there.”
Colter tucked a finger under her chin, lifting her gaze, needing to read those eyes. He wiped the tears from her face. “I’m sorry he wasn’t there for you. He should have been.”
“I think...” Her voice broke. “I’m honestly just sick of men disappointing me. It’s like I keep trying. I keep thinking that somehow I won’t be disappointed, and yet, every time I am.”
“A man should never disappoint you,” Colter said, adamant. “If they don’t fix where they’ve gone wrong, they are not a man.”
She heaved a long sigh that seemed to lessen the load on her shoulders. “I just keep thinking to myself, at what point should you stop caring? At what point do you say, enough is enough?”
“When someone hurts you deeply,” he said immediately, cupping the side of her face. “That’s when enough is enough. Neither Brock nor Eric deserved you. Don’t forget that.”
She leaned into his touch, her voice trembling. “But what if it is not about them? What if it’s me?”
“It’s not you,” he stated firmly. “All this shit, Adeline, it’s all on them.”
Another tear slid down her rosy cheek. “How do you know?”
“Because I would rather take a knife to the heart than hurt you,” he said. “That’s how I know it’s not you.” He spread his legs and pulled her chair even closer. Holding her beautiful face in his hands, he continued, “Listen to me very carefully. Brock is a fool. Eric is a fool. Don’t let their mistakes become your heartbreak.”
Sweetness softened the pain in her expression. She placed her hands over the top of his and laughed through the tears. “Has anyone told you lately how absolutely wonderful you are?”
He cleared more wetness away with his thumbs. “You just did, and that’s all that matters.”
“Thank you for being you. For being here. For everything, really.”
He stared into her warm, honey-colored eyes, and had no idea how he was going to let her go. Life never did seem quite fair. He had regrets in his life, and he knew at this moment that not noticing her back in high school was up there with his greatest.
Somehow he needed to convince her that staying here with him was the best thing for her. And he knew now was the time to lay his heart on the line.
Leaning in near, her sugary-spicy scent engulfed him, desperate, hot need overwhelming his senses. Before his mouth met hers, he replied, “Thank you for being you. For being here. For everything, really.”
His mouth met hers, and as he gathered her in his arms, pushing aside their plates and laying her out on the kitchen table, the last thing on his mind was their untouched meals.
* * *
An hour after they reheated their dinners in the microwave and finally ate, Adeline held her breath and sank beneath the hot bathwater in the claw-foot tub. The sounds from the house were muted, a silence she needed now more than ever. Nothing made sense. She’d talked to Nora earlier, but the only truth that remained was that she never should have visited her father. Because now she had simply added another time in her life where a man had failed her. Her happiness, her trust, her well-being all felt unhinged, ready to break in a heartbeat.
She broke the water’s edge with a gasp, drawing in a breath of the warm air. She took in the bathroom with subway tiles on the walls and black shutters on the small window, the flickering candle smelling of vanilla on the vanity, desperate to relax her mind, when her cell phone rang. A quick look over the edge of the bathtub revealed her mother was calling.
She sighed and quickly dried her hands on the towel she’d left on the floor next to the tub. “Hi, Mom,” she said into the phone, steeling herself for the conversation ahead.
“Hi, sweetie,” Lorraine replied. “I got your message. Is everything okay?”
Her soft voice instantly made Adeline feel marginally better. “Sorry, I know it probably wasn’t the best message for you to hear.” Her mother had been the first one Adeline had called after she got into bed and hid under the sheets earlier. She didn’t even remember what she’d said on the message, but she knew she’d been sobbing.
“The message was just fine,” Mom said gently. “You sound better now.”
“I ate and talked with Nora and Colter,” Adeline explained. “I feel better. Raw. But better.”
Mom paused. Then, “What prompted you to go see your father in the first place?”
Apparently, she hadn’t explained a lot on the message. “I don’t even know,” she admitted, running her hand through the smooth water. “Actually, no, that’s not true. I think it’s because being back here has just brought a lot up. I kept thinking that maybe if I met him, I’d understand more of myself. That I’d see he was this terrible drunk, and I could finally accept that he’s just a bad guy. That Brock is a bad guy. And then I could move on with my life, knowing there are bad people out there, but I don’t have to change because of them.”
“So, you thought meeting him would solve all your problems?”
“Yes,” she admitted. Before her mother could comment, she added, “And I know that’s dumb.”
“It’s not dumb, Adeline,” her mother rebuked. “But life is rarely that easy or black-and-white.” Mom hesitated again. Longer this time. When she spoke again, her voice was filled with curiosity. “Does any of this have to do with Colter?”
Of course, her mother missed nothing. “Yes. No. Maybe.”
A soft laugh filled the phone line. “That sure, are you?”
Adeline lifted her hand, watching the water droplets fall from her fingers. “I’m not sure about anything, if I’m being honest. I don’t even know what I’m doing. Why am I still here? Why did I play along with this fake engagement? Why did I go see my dad?” Now it was Adeline’s turn to pause. The same thought that had battered her mind earlier resurfaced. “Tell me, honestly, if I was one of your patients, would you think I was losing it?”
“Absolutely not,” her mother said instantly.
“Then what would you tell me?”
Her mother paused to consider. Then, “You are my daughter and could never be my patient, but I’ll say this to you. You’ve been hurt, and cruelly so. What Brock did to you assaulted your trust and happiness. You must deal with that. Until you do, you’ll never see things clearly. Your heart will always be tainted.”
Every single word rang true in Adeline’s heart.
Mom continued, “I can tell you like Colter, and that what started out as something not real has become very much real, but it would be unfair to bring anyone else into your life knowing that you’re incapable of giving them all of yourself. Right now, you simply can’t offer that. You can’t forget the past. You can only heal after the blow you’ve been dealt. But pain is pain, my sweet girl. Ignore it long enough and it’ll come chasing after you.”
Adeline absorbed her mother’s advice. “I’ve made all this very complicated, then?”
“What do you think?”
“Ugh.” Adeline sat up, sending the water splashing in the tub. “I think I just want you to tell me what to do.”
Her mother chuckled quietly. “My darling, you would never listen to me even if I did.”
Knowing her mother was right on all counts, and feeling better, she said her goodbyes and ended the call with a promise to call again tomorrow before her flight.
Done with pitying herself, well aware it would get her nowhere but hiding back under the bedsheets, she got out of the tub. She quickly dried off and put on cotton pajamas before heading out of the bathroom.
She stopped short. Colter sat on her bed, her laptop in front of him. She’d done some work on the article after talking with Nora to get her mind off her unruly emotions. The tightness of his eyes told her he was reading her article. “You don’t like it?” she asked, her bare feet feeling stuck to the hardwood floor.
“I like it a lot.” He met her gaze. “It’s good.”
She winced. “Normally when someone likes something, they don’t look like they’ve eaten a sour lemon.”
He snorted a laugh, patting the spot next to him on the bed. When she sat, the mattress bouncing beneath her, he continued, “No, really, I do like it. The article is excellent. You’ve put my family in a good light, mentioned what the Wards stand for and made us appear to be real, hardworking people, instead of something silly, like ‘Texas’s sexiest bachelor.’ I appreciate that.”
She nibbled her lip, hating the nerves fluttering in her belly. “You sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” he said, shutting the laptop, placing it behind him on the bed. “Truly. I liked what I read.” When he rose, her breath hitched as he drew closer. “But it also reminds me that your job here is done and you’re leaving tomorrow morning.”
Her heart felt like it was shrinking. She wasn’t ready for this conversation. “You forgot?”
“I didn’t forget, but I suppose I had held out hope.” He gathered her in his arms until she straddled his lap, holding her close. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he said, “I think somewhere in my thick head, I thought you’d stay with me rather than writing a story about me.”
A swell of safety and comfort surrounded her, but a cold slice cut through, reminding her of her mother’s advice. She had yet to deal with Brock and, now, the recent blow of her father. With Colter, this was all her teenage dream, a fantasy that couldn’t possibly last, no matter how much she wanted it to. “But—”
“Your job. Your promotion,” he offered grimly.
“Exactly,” she admitted, sliding off his lap and rising, suddenly needing distance. Her heart wanted to stay in his arms, but her head, her worries and concerns, knew that to offer Colter more was unfair. She wouldn’t hurt anyone like she’d been hurt. “This is...complicated.”
“I know,” he muttered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
Emotion clogged up her throat as she fiddled with her fingers, ignoring her hands that so desperately wanted to touch him. “Besides, New York City is my home. It’s my safe place. Nora is there. My mom, too.”
He gave a slow nod. “I know that, too.”
And yet, and yet, the look on his face wasn’t satisfied. “Colter, asking me to stay here is like asking you to move to the city. You have your life here. With your family. It’s an impossible want.”
“I also know that, too.” He hesitated. Rare, heady emotion swelled in his gaze. “I also know that somewhere along the way, this fake relationship has become very real to me. I know that everything in that article is written from an angle because I care deeply for you, and I know that you care about me, too.”
“I do care about you,” she said. And with a soft laugh, she added, “Remember, I was the one with the crush.”
“Somehow we can make this work. I know I want to. Don’t you?”
She never got the chance to reply before his cell phone rang. He pulled his phone from his pocket and said into it, “Beau, what’s up?”
A long pause followed. Colter’s gaze locked onto Adeline’s. His skin turned ashen. “When did this happen?” Another pause. “What’s his condition?” And another long, horrible pause. “All right, yes, I’m on my way.” He ended the call, shoving his phone into his pocket. “My dad’s in the hospital.”
“What?” Adeline exclaimed, rushing to his side, gripping his arm tight. “What happened?”
Colter looked shell-shocked, unmoving, unblinking. “I don’t know much other than he’s had a stroke.”
“Oh my goodness, is he okay?” she asked, pressing a hand to his chest, feeling the thundering of his heartbeat.
Slowly, Colter shook his head. His jaw muscles clenched once. “No, no, he’s not. He’d stopped breathing before the ambulance arrived at the nursing home. The medics resuscitated him, but he hasn’t recovered. He’s on a ventilator.”
“Oh, no, Colter,” Adeline gasped, coldness sinking into her bones, holding her tight. “Please. What can I do to help you?”
“Come with me,” he said, his voice slow, detached. “I need you to come with me.”
She took his trembling hand in his. “Yes, of course, I’m with you.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him close.
“Thank you,” he whispered into her neck, enveloping her in his arms.
The warm, affectionate man she’d grown to know over the past couple weeks, the man who held her now, was not the same man as he stepped back, releasing her. Fierce-eyed and jaw set, she recognized this man from the day she first saw him again in the Black Horse. She knew, as they raced to his truck, she was looking at the eldest Ward son with a legacy resting on his shoulders.
Twelve
With every step from the parking lot toward the hospital, located in a larger neighboring city to the west, Colter felt like the world was moving in slow motion around him. Adeline held his hand tight as he led her inside the hospital, the automatic doors closing behind them with a whoosh.
At the end of the hall, he spotted Beau and his mother talking to a doctor in a long white coat. As they passed by the waiting room, he saw Austin sitting in one of the chairs, playing on his iPad.
Squinting against the bright light overhead, his chest tingled as he hurried his steps. They passed a busy nursing station, followed by another corridor to the right that led to another wing of the hospital. The closer he got to his family, the more the dark-haired doctor’s voice became clear.
“I’ll give you time to discuss this as a family. I’ll be back shortly,” the fortysomething doctor said before he walked off in the opposite direction.
“Mom,” Colter said.
His mother turned, burst into tears and walked straight into his open arms. He released Adeline’s hand and locked his arms around his mother as she broke apart in his arms. Vaguely, he sensed Adeline and Beau were embracing, but he stayed focused on his mom. Heard every one of her cries. Felt every shake of her body. He didn’t count the minutes while the strongest woman he knew sobbed in his arms. He only held her until her cries quieted, her trembling lessened and she had the strength to back away.
Keeping his arm around her, he asked gently, “What happened?”
