Finding Olivia (Trace + Olivia), page 37
“Whatever,” Trent grumbled, as he unfolded his napkin, and spread it across his lap, “I don’t want to talk about this, anyway.”
The waiter brought our food out and we settled into easy conversation.
“Oh, I keep forgetting to mention that the lake house renovations are finished,” Lily explained to Trace. “You and Olivia should come up this summer. We’ll be leaving in two weeks, to spend the rest of the summer there, but you’re welcome to go beforehand by yourselves, or join us. You too, Nora,” she added.
This was the first time my mom and Lily had met. I was extremely pleased by how well they were getting along.
“That sounds nice,” I nodded at Trace. “I’ve never been to a lake house.”
“Great!” Lily clapped her hands together. “And seriously, Nora, please join us.”
“I would love to,” my mom replied, “but since I was recently promoted, I don’t think it would be best to go on a vacation so soon.”
“Oh, of course. I completely understand. Just know that the invitation is open and I mean that sincerely,” she smiled pleasantly. Raising her water glass in the air, Lily said, “Here’s to new beginnings.”
“To new beginnings,” we all echoed.
★★★
“It’s a bit bare, isn’t it?” I assessed my mom’s new apartment.
It was smaller than Trace’s apartment and not as nice, but at least, like she had said, it was clean. The carpet was brand new and the walls were freshly painted. The appliances weren’t stainless steel, but they were new as well.
A single couch decorated the designated living area, and when I poked my head inside the only bedroom, it contained a simple bed and mattress.
“It’s not like I have much,” my mom sighed. “All I brought with me was clothes. I’ll add some decorations later,” she pulled her hair off her shoulders and tied it in a ponytail. “But for now, it’s my own place, and that’s what matters.”
“Let me know when you want to go shopping,” I replied, looking over the couch to make sure it was clean. “I’d love to help you.”
“I will,” she placed her hands on her hips over her stretchy yoga pants. “It’ll probably be a while though. I really don’t have the money right now. I had to pay the first three months rent up front and it has all but wiped out my bank account.”
“I’m sorry, mom,” I bit my lip. “I should have moved in with you.”
“No, no, that’s silly,” she shook her head. “You’re happy where you’re at and you don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine on my own. I even made sure this place has a security system,” she pointed to the wall beside the door where a white panel was inserted.
“What are you going to do about a ride to work?” I asked. Since Resa didn’t work, she had been lending my mom her car, or driving her to work if she had errands to run.
“Don’t be mad,” her cheeks flushed, “but Nick will be taking me. He has a job for the summer near the hospital and he said it wouldn’t be any trouble.”
“I’m sure he did say that,” I grumbled. Apparently, I was going to have to have a talk with Nick and let him know my mom was off limits.
“He’s a nice guy, Liv. Don’t crinkle your nose like that. He’s sweet and he helps me out,” she rolled her suitcase into the bedroom.
“He’s also a twenty-two year old man who wants to get in my mother’s pants,” I grumbled.
“Olivia!” My mom exclaimed, glaring at me with wide copper eyes, the same eyes she had given me.
“It’s true!” I countered.
She shook her head rapidly back and forth, staring at the ground. “I can’t help how old he is-”
“Oh my God,” I turned around so that she was to my back. I couldn’t look at her right now. “You’ve slept with him, haven’t you?”
Her silence was answer enough.
“Mom!” I turned to face her.
Her face was beet red and she looked like she was choking on her own saliva. “Olivia, that’s none of your business.”
“Ew, no!” I squealed, shaking my head. “I can’t. I can’t,” I covered my eyes.
“Then you shouldn’t have said anything,” she defended.
“Oh my God. I think Avery’s rubbing off on me. This is bad. I wouldn’t have normally asked that. I’m sorry. It’s none of my business,” I apologized.
“It is your business, Liv. You’re my daughter. But I shouldn’t have to tell you something until I’m ready,” she said softly.
“I know. I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Let’s move on and pretend this conversation never happened,” she pleaded.
“Sure,” I agreed, not meeting her eyes, because I was positive that I wouldn’t be able to pretend it never happened.
Since there was nothing left to bring in, I mumbled, “I’m going to get out of here. I have to stop by the grocery store.” I really did have to go to the grocery store, but at this point, I would’ve made any excuse to leave. The awkwardness from the Nick situation had yet to leave.
“Alright,” she seemed relieved at my imminent departure. I figured, either Nick was expected to show up any minute, or she felt as awkward as I did. “Let’s do lunch next weekend, if you’re not working?”
“Sounds good,” I smiled, striding towards the door, and Nick would not be a topic that I was ever bringing up again.
I started my small cobalt blue Ford Focus and drove to the grocery store closest to Trace’s apartment. I still had trouble thinking of it as “ours”.
Trace was working late tonight and I wanted to make him dinner, because despite what he believed, I could cook. My mom had taught me most of her recipes, and while I wasn’t the best cook, I wasn’t horrible. I wanted to surprise him with a meal and finally get those three important words off my chest. Several times in the past few days, they had come close to rolling off my tongue, but I kept my mouth shut.
I pushed the cart around the store, adding the ingredients I needed, and headed to the checkout.
I planned to make homemade Fettuccine Alfredo from one of my mom’s recipes.
I loaded the plastic bags into my car and drove home.
I noticed a car in my rearview mirror that appeared to be following me, and my heart rate spiked when it pulled into Pete’s parking lot. I reasoned that maybe, they were having car trouble, and it was by coincidence that they followed me home.
But…my gut didn’t believe that.
Not looking at the person, because I didn’t want to get involved in a conversation, I lifted the trunk and picked up the two bags, the keys to the apartment clutched in one hand.
Gravel crunched behind me and fear slid like a sheet of ice down my back. Swallowing thickly, I started up the steps that led to the apartment.
A hand pushed into my back and I fell on the wood steps. Splinters imbedded in my hands and knees.
“What the-” I exclaimed.
Someone rolled me over, pinning my wrists to my sides.
I gasped when my eyes connected with dark ones, outlined by wire-framed glasses.
“Aaron,” I gasped.
“My name is not Aaron, to you. It’s dad,” he shook me. “I’m your dad.”
His hold on me was tight and I was surprised my bones didn’t snap.
“Let me go,” I begged, hysterics arising.
I kicked him hard in the stomach and he was forced to let me go as he stumbled down a few steps.
Thankfully, the key was still clutched firmly in my hand, and I ran for the door. I managed to get it open, but by the time I tried to close it, Aaron had recovered and was barging his way inside.
He slapped my face so hard that I fell to my knees. Tears clouded my vision as I clutched my stinging cheek. He towered above me, the look in his eyes anything but human. They were dead eyes. They were the eyes of someone who had lost everything and no longer cared.
“I came for your mom,” he growled, “she’s an idiot to think I’m going to give her a divorce. I’m prepared to drag her ass back home. I was driving around looking for her, when I saw you walking out of the grocery store,” he kicked my ribs.
I grunted from the impact and clutched feebly at my side.
Oh, God. It hurt.
“Hurting you,” he sneered the word like it was dirty, “will hurt your mom more than anything else. This,” he kicked my face and I tasted blood, “will break her. She needs to be broken. She needs to know she can’t run.” He punctuated each sentence with a kick to a different part of my body. My side. My chest. My arms. He didn’t care where he hit me; he just wanted to hurt me. “I told her there would be consequences if she ever left me. But she didn’t listen!”
His anger was rising from deadly calm to unchained fury.
I whimpered as he beat me, trying to crawl away from him.
Ace barked and growled but there was little he could do.
Aaron reached down, and gripped me by my hair, slamming my head into the wood floor.
I screamed, scratching at his bare arm. “Get off of me! Let me go!”
There wasn’t much I could do to fight back. My whole body was sore and I felt like I was choking on the blood pooling in my mouth.
He beat my skull repeatedly into the floor yelling and screaming nonsensical things.
My vision began to blur and go spotty.
“Stop, please stop,” I begged, crying.
“Trouble! Nothing but trouble!” He yelled.
I tried to swallow but blood clogged my throat. I began to choke and gasp for air.
He punched my face and blood went flying out of my mouth. I rolled over, trying to spit the blood out, and suck in oxygen at the same time. My eyes zeroed in on the spot where my head had been. There was a sizeable pool of blood there and I reached up, feeling a gash on the back of my head. My fingers came away red and I began to sob, which did nothing to help my breathing.
The air left my lungs with a sickening wet sound.
“You’ll pay for everything you’ve done to me!” Aaron screamed and kicked my other side.
My whole body felt like it had been run over by an eighteen-wheeler.
“You-goin-ta-kill-me,” I choked, not able to get the words out as I gasped for air, trying to crawl away again. I was so weak and there was so much blood. I felt it dampening my hair.
I rolled back over, onto my back. I was too tired to move and too weak to fight back.
I begged silently for an easy end. I didn’t want to suffer anymore than I already was. I needed the pain to end.
Footsteps echoed around the doorway and I watched Aaron turn. A moment later, Aaron was crashing to the ground beside me as Trace wrestled him to the ground.
Trace.
Trace.
Trace.
Trace was going to watch me die. I didn’t want that for him. There was no hope for me. Air wasn’t reaching my lungs and I knew I had little time left.
Punches were thrown and grunts echoed around the space.
Ace came to my side, licking my sore face, and curling up beside me. It was as if the puppy thought that his presence alone could heal me.
My eyes started to drift closed but someone was shaking me.
Why was Aaron prolonging this? Couldn’t he get it over with already?
But when I opened my eyes, it was Trace’s worried green ones staring down at me. “Olivia?” He sounded like he was talking to me through a tunnel. “Can you hear me, baby? Olivia, please, focus on me. Just look at me, baby. Can you do that?”
I tried so hard to keep my eyes focused on him but they kept drifting to the side and closed.
“Olivia, keep your eyes open. I know you want to go to sleep, but you can’t. Just listen to my voice, okay?” He tried to sound calm but I knew he wasn’t. “Paramedics are on their way. Hang on, baby. Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me,” tears fell from his chin onto my face. “I can’t lose you. Stay with me, Olivia.”
“S-s-s-o t-t-t-i-i-r-r-r-e-e-d,” I stuttered.
“I know, baby. I know you’re tired but you can’t go to sleep. You have to stay awake. I’m so sorry, Olivia,” he sobbed. “I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry. Please, baby, stay with me,” he pleaded desperately. “I can’t lose another person I love. Don’t do that to me. We stick together, Olivia. You and me, baby, till the end of time.” His hands fluttered above my body, seeking a place to hold me, but my whole body was battered. Taking the end of my chin, gently between his thumb and index finger, he stared down at me fiercely. “You’re going to be okay, Olivia, but I want you to know I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wanted to tell you so many times but the time was never right,” he swallowed thickly. “I wanted it to be perfect when I told you, because even though perfection doesn’t exist, I’m never going to stop searching for it when it comes to you,” he gently brushed my hair away from my forehead. “Please, forgive me baby. Please,” he begged, crying hard now. I had never seen a man cry like this before. Like his whole world was crumbling beneath him.
“I-I-” I tried to speak but everything was fading around me. I was sinking into a deep well of water and I couldn’t see the surface.
“I know you do,” he silenced me. “Don’t talk. Conserve your energy. I’m going to try to stop the bleeding from your head,” he ripped his wife-beater off his body and lifted me slightly so that he could press the fabric to my scalp.
I whimpered in pain.
Trace continued to speak but I only heard faint rumblings as everything faded around me.
My eyes fluttered closed. I couldn’t keep them open any longer.
Blackness cloaked me and peace settled in my soul as all my pain faded away.
c h a p t e r
Thirty Four
I was floating…but I was suspended, at the same time, like a balloon whose string was held by a small child. I was trying to escape the grasp that was holding me, but it was too strong.
Someone was speaking, no, pleading, with me.
I tried to make out their words, but it was like I was underwater, while they were above.
There were so many noises, but I blocked them out, focusing on what the voice was saying. I knew it was important, and that I needed to hear what they had to say, before I floated away forever.
I finally managed to distinguish what the voice was saying, more like screaming, at me.
“Olivia! No! Breathe, baby! Breathe! Come on! You can’t leave me! Let me go!” The last part was addressed to someone else. “Listen to me, Olivia! You can’t leave me like this! I love you! Do you hear me? I love you! We have our whole lives ahead of us, Olivia! Please, don’t leave me!” The voice pleaded desperately. “We’re going to get married one day and have lots of pretty babies that will look just like you, Olivia! You’re going to write that book! But most importantly, you’re going to live, Olivia!”
“We have a heartbeat,” another voice said, just as the blackness swallowed me once more.
★★★
“Wake up, please, wake up,” a voice begged.
I swam for the surface, my arm outstretched, trying to reach it.
“Wake up, Olivia,” it pleaded, “open those pretty brown eyes.”
I kicked my arms and my legs, my lungs about to burst with the need to inhale oxygen, but I was still too deep in the water.
I kicked faster.
“Come on, Olivia. Open your eyes. You can do it.”
My eyes came open and air rushed out of my lungs in a mighty exhale.
The pain was excruciating, and if I had the energy, I’d yell at the person who had woken me from my peaceful depths where there was no pain.
“Oh God, Olivia,” the voice cried and gently took one of my hands in their own.
I slowly turned my head and found Trace bowed over my bed, sobbing.
“I thought I had lost you,” he cried. “I’ve never been so scared in all my life.”
I wanted to comfort him, somehow, but I couldn’t get my body to work. Tubes and wires seemed to run from every part of my body into various machines.
I tried to say his name but no sounds came out of my mouth. Finally, he looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes. “You’ve been asleep for a week, Olivia. I thought you were never going to wake up,” his voice cracked. “They told me to keep talking to you, so I did. I’ve talked about anything and everything, trying to get you to wake up,” he took a deep shaky breath. “I thought I was never going to see those pretty brown eyes ever again.” He gently brushed my hair away from my eyes, carful of my injuries. “I watched you die, Olivia. I watched your heart stop beating.” He swallowed thickly and I knew this was hard for him. But there was nothing I could do but listen. “I vowed, after watching my dad die, that I would never witness anyone I loved dying, ever again,” his voice was fierce and carefully contained tears shimmered in his green eyes. “I felt so helpless, Olivia. I couldn’t do anything but watch you drift away from me. When I thought you died,” he choked, “I wanted nothing more than to die too. I know that sounds dramatic, but when you find the person that completes you in every way, when something happens to them…it happens to you too. I can’t live without you, Olivia.” He placed his hand gently in my open, bandaged, palm.
I squeezed my hand around his slightly, offering him as much comfort as I could muster at the moment.
“I-I-I’m s-s-sorry,” the words were forced between my lips and the effort of forming them left my throat dry.
“God, baby,” he kissed my fingers, “don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.”
A single tear leaked from my left eye and skated down my cheek. Trace gently swiped it away.
“Please, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I was upset. I thought I lost you,” his eyes were full of remorse.
“E-e-every-t-t-thing hurts,” I confessed.
“I know,” he hung his head. “I didn’t get there in time. The back of your skull was fractured and you have three broken ribs, one of which punctured your lung,” he looked at me sadly, a frown marring his face. “Not to mention the beating your whole body took.” He looked me over and I knew he was wishing he could take away my pain.
