The Lost Rainbow Mage: Complete Trilogy Edition, page 29
I glanced at Greta. She’d started drawing, too, but her movements were much shorter and deliberate as she made small lines on the page.
“I think I’m making mistakes,” she said. “This looks wrong.”
“It looks perfect. Art is never wrong. And look who just arrived!” I pointed toward the flowers, where my hummingbird whirred in the air. “I think she heard you were painting, and she came to admire your work.”
“Oh!” Greta grabbed another pencil and quickly sketched in a basic shape of a bird, much larger than anything else on her page. “Isn’t it beautiful? I’m going to draw it.”
The sight of the hummingbird brought relaxation washing through my whole body, and I let go of some of the tension that had built up in me at the vegetable garden. Things were wrong here, but the hummingbird’s arrival made me remember things could be right once more.
Memories of when I’d held the bird in my palm and somehow forced life to flow back through it overwhelmed me, and a connection shimmered to life once more between us. It was almost like I could hear a small voice talking to me, but every time I tried to tune in and listen, it faded away before I could catch it.
I’d almost forgotten some of the magic I’d performed at the Facility, but it suddenly seemed more important now. Like I shouldn’t forget what I was capable of, and the hummingbird reminded me of this truth. She didn’t want me to forget. I was more than I remembered, and in that moment…
It was like she became a symbol of my life.
thirteen
Each day started exactly like the previous one, lounging and stretching in the light while I worried if I was growing complacent. Then getting dressed in a locked room until Kathleen entered with a tray of breakfast food. When Kathleen left, she didn’t lock my door behind her.
I’d eaten supper with everyone else the previous evening, but that had been a strange and silent affair with a limited range of food. Whatever Kathleen prepared for me each day was clearly a cut above what was eaten in the main dining hall of the building by everyone else. Another instance of the inequality I’d stumbled into.
Alice arrived shortly after Kathleen had cleared away my breakfast tray, and she lingered in the doorway. I had my drawing things ready, hopeful I’d be able to see my hummingbird again. She was my one constant through all of this, and my little feathered friend had followed me from place to place.
“Kiran wants to see you.” Today, Alice seemed almost apologetic as she glanced at my supplies. She never got very emotional, but I was starting to learn to read her limited outward signs.
“Oh.” I sighed and put the sketchpad and pencils down. “Maybe I can draw later.”
She didn’t reply. Instead, she turned and walked down the hallway.
The journey to Kiran’s office involved going down the main staircase then back to the smaller one deeper in the house, and once again, the unused offices on the way there. Maybe I could do something with these one day. They would have been much better filled with children and laughter. Painting classes and playing classes would be at the top of the list.
“Meira!” Kiran only ever seemed to greet me by booming out my name, and I forced a smile that rivaled his faux joviality. “How lovely to see you.” He spoke like it was a surprise I was here in the room full of crystals again. As if he hadn’t summoned me to join him.
This time, I wasn’t overwhelmed by the atmosphere, although the low-pitched resonance of them vibrated through me.
“Come and sit down.” He beckoned to me. “We have much to discuss.”
I did as he requested and sat down on a beanbag. I was still information gathering and learning about his lifestyle, and probably I’d have to trade information to do some of that.
“I want to know all about what they did to you in the Facility,” he said without preamble. “Hold nothing back.”
I blinked then shifted where I sat. Maybe I hadn’t been expecting that degree of information exchange. “Well,” I started as I searched my thoughts for something valuable that wouldn’t leave me too exposed and vulnerable. “They held me in the dark most of the time. Away from light.”
“Interesting.” Kiran leaned forward. “So they knew exactly what you are.” He nodded. “Of course they knew. Why else would they have taken you? They already knew how valuable you are. That’s why you were there in the first place.” He steepled his fingers below his chin as he waited for my reply, his attention intent and focused on me. “Now what else did they do?”
I wasn’t sure I’d seen this side of Kiran before, and I didn’t like it. Not that I found him palatable anyway. How could he treat “his people” like he did?
“What else did they do?” he repeated when I didn’t respond straight away.
I glanced at one of the crystals as I began to speak. It was easier than looking into his eyes. There was something akin to greed in his gaze, something I didn’t quite recognize. “They studied my reaction to different colors of light. What emotions the different colors generated in me when they separated the light.” I still wasn’t sure why that had interested Dr. Anderson. “That part was tough.”
“Fascinating,” Kiran murmured. “And they made you live in the dark? The absence of light?” He shuddered. “Surely that was torture for a light mage?”
I hesitated. I didn’t want to trade this information if I could help it. Drawing the shadows into me had hurt, and it had caused me to hurt others. The greasiness seemed to linger in me even now, and it had twisted my power into something destructive. I couldn’t be certain, but I thought I’d felt it at the crystal in this room before. It’s why I’d been determined to release it when the dark and cold curled within me.
But Kiran pounced on my pause. “What’s got you thinking, Meira? Did they do something to you? Tell me, sweetie.”
And he sounded so concerned and like he cared when no one had for such a long time, that I looked at him, and my eyes immediately filled with tears like everything I’d been through had caught up to me in one go. I cleared my throat and tried to dissipate the surge.
Finally, I said, “They made me work with shadows.”
He went completely still. His chest didn’t even rise and fall. Then he spoke, and his words were slow and contemplative. “You mean they had you draw the last of the light from the shadows?”
I nodded.
“That’s shadow magic.” His eyes lit up, but his face remained serious. “Meira, how much do you know about light mages?”
I frowned. How much did I know? Nothing. Next to nothing. Didn’t anybody understand how little I knew?
He leaned forward again now, closer to me, like he was confiding in me, and I relaxed, yielding to his show of concern and the idea he was being open with me. There was something unexpectedly welcoming about him today. I wanted to believe in this man, to have a family that understood and supported me.
“It’s all so confusing,” I whispered. “I didn’t know… I still don’t know what I am. I was told I’m rare. I don’t know how or why.”
He snorted, and the sound was harsh. “Rare is one word for it.” He gentled his tone. “Light mages are incredible. They’re the superior supernatural being—we are the superior supernatural being because we can work with so little. Indeed, you can even work with shadow.” He rubbed his hand on his cheek. “I’d need to check our family records again, but I don’t recall anyone in our line being able to…” He interrupted himself. “Maybe I need to check again. Perhaps further back.” He looked at me, his eyes focused. “I’ve done lots of research into our family line and the abilities of light mages, and it doesn’t surprise me that your gifts would peak like this. You come from very powerful ancestry.”
His words piqued my interest, and I sat up straighter. This could be my way to understand everything better. “Maybe sometime I can look at the records with you? It would be interesting to read about my ancestors.” That much was true. “And I could also learn a lot about my magic. I don’t know much.”
Dr. Anderson hadn’t taught me anything about my magic or myself, really. I’d been little more than a conduit for him, and he’d planned to use me for his own agenda. Finding out about myself and taking control sounded pretty good for once. Being led around by kidnappers and hindered by not knowing was getting more than old.
He waved a hand like he was brushing my suggestion aside. “I think you should focus on getting to know the Commune as it is now.”
“I’d still like to know about my family tree, too.” I pushed a little harder and invoked the use of the word family to try to appeal to him. “I know nothing.”
“Well, maybe sometime then,” he said, but it sounded a whole lot like sometime never.
“Speaking of the Commune now—” I changed the subject. If he wanted me to focus on the present, I could do that, and after all, I’d just shared some information with him. It was his turn to trade. “I’ve been looking at those beautiful tattoos everyone wears.”
I had his full attention again.
“My affinity is for color, too. I’ve heard you do them. I’m quite jealous of your talent.” I chuckled, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. “I wondered if I could do something like that, too? If you could teach me? When I lived on my own, I worked with hair rather than skin, but now I know what I am…” I let my sentence trail off and hoped Kiran would fill in the missing words and supply a solution.
But he waved my words away again, which was far from the reaction I’d expected. Surely, I’d thrown just enough flattery in there to get him talking?
“Those aren’t really my domain. They’re Lucian’s initiative, and I leave him to keep order in that way. He’s my head of security and strategy.”
Heck. Lucian? That put a whole new spin on the tattoos. There was a lot to unpack in that sentence, but I focused on the first part. “They’re a way to keep order? How do you mean?”
He huffed a small sigh like my question made him impatient. “What we’ve found over the years is that some of the members of our community, particularly the female members, can be a little more volatile. So we have to control them. It’s for the safety of us all, really.” His final sentence made everything sound so reasonable, but I cocked my head as I looked at him.
Really, this odd method of control sounded like oppression and exploitation.
“Only the women?” I asked the question even though I thought I already knew the answer. After all, Greta couldn’t exactly be described as a woman, yet she already had a tattoo on her skin.
“The females.” He tossed the words out carelessly with another wave of his hand, and it was like it was really the least of his worries. “As soon as the females show signs that they might not be obedient in the ways we need, they’re marked.
I touched my own neck, then quickly removed my hand. I didn’t want him to see my uncertainty, but he shook his head.
“I shouldn’t think you’d ever require such extreme measures, Meira. You’re my daughter, after all.”
Yeah, sure. Lucian didn’t give a flying fig I was Kiran’s daughter. Before I could ask anything else, there was a sharp rap on the door, and Lucian strode in before Kiran even called out for him to enter.
Kiran stood up. “Thank you for coming.”
Lucian offered him the merest hint of a bow but kept his gaze trained on me.
Kiran looked between Lucian and me, and held open his arms to include the two of us when he spoke. “I’m interested in seeing you work together,” he said.
Work with Lucian? The idea chilled me. The man carried cold with him everywhere he went.
“I’d quite like to work with you exclusively.” I addressed Kiran directly.
Maybe it was a bold statement, but if I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t get what I wanted, and I was interested in exploring my family’s magic.
Kiran didn’t answer right away.
I glanced at the hard-faced man nearby. Working with Lucian felt too close to working with Dr. Anderson. Like there was capacity to use me. Besides, Kiran had already worked with me a little. He’d felt my power, and he’d liked what I could do.
But today, Kiran shook his head. “I’m tired today. Recovering from a cold. I don’t want to push my powers too far. I should rest.”
I remained quiet.
“I’d still like to see what you can do, though.” He sat as if he’d said all he needed to say.
Lucian remained still as well, and Kiran looked up at him from his position.
“Meira can draw light from shadow,” Kiran said, his tone matter-of-fact, and Lucian lifted an eyebrow, which was definitely the most emotion I’d seen from him.
“Really. Is that so?” Lucian asked.
Kiran laughed as he responded as if Lucian had actually said something. He looked at me again. “Let’s see some of that, Meira. Let’s see you draw light from shadows.”
Bile clawed at the bottom of my throat, and I shook my head. Nothing emphatic, just a signal of my desire not to conform. “I don’t want to do that. I don’t like it. My power is more of a healing power, but extracting light from somewhere gray, somewhere almost dark, makes it destructive.”
Fear gripped me, and my muscles ached as they tensed.
Kiran narrowed his eyes. “But I’d like to see it, Meira. We’re family.”
I opened my mouth to argue.
But Kiran spoke again. “Please? It’s not something I’ve seen before. Very little is known about it. Please show me?”
I got the impression Kiran rarely begged anyone to do anything, and Lucian folded his arms as he watched me, almost like he was issuing a silent challenge.
“But I heal…” My voice sounded weaker. “Dark light destroys.” I shut down the memories of what I’d done by accident at the Facility. “It kills,” I whispered. “Murders.”
Kiran didn’t say anything.
But I caught sight of Lucian’s sickly smile as he switched off the lights, plunging the office into gloom, and then he stepped up behind me, taking hold of my elbow.
My knees buckled.
fourteen
My teeth chattered, and I didn’t know how to get it out. No, no.
I shivered as I rolled over in bed. Had there been a sound out there? I shook my head back and forth, and my hair clung to my sweaty neck.
The darkness was still inside me, I could feel it in there. It was cold and greasy, and it hurt. I didn’t know how to let it out in a way I could control yet. Lucian had tried to take it from me, but I hadn’t let him. I’d kept it inside me. I wasn’t about to accidentally kill again.
My eyes sprung open, and I waited. Something had woken me, and I didn’t know what. Was I alone? I waited until I was confident no one was inside the room with me, and then I drew a breath.
Shadows played on the wall in front of me, and the dark was oppressive in a way it hadn’t been. Since I’d drawn the light from the dark in Kiran’s office, things glared at me from the inky blackness. It called to me, wanting what I held inside my body, demanding its return.
Tap…tap…tap. I jumped at the unexpected sound before I glanced over my shoulder. My hummingbird hovered at the biggest of the windows. I shoved my covers away and pushed myself off the bed.
I pushed at the window, trying to open it after the hummingbird tapped again, but it was still locked down tight. Of course. I was locked in. Always locked in. Constrained.
Frustration coursed through me, and I recognized it. It was the destructive force I could use. I pushed harder at the window, and I aimed my focus at the lock. I concentrated, my body warming until the lock shattered, sending metal shrapnel out into the air. One struck my arm, and I hissed in pain while I side-stepped the rest.
With the darkness inside me released, I relaxed. My body was my own again. I shoved the window upward, opening it to the tiny hummingbird trying to capture my attention. I sighed.
Immediately, the bird flew into my room, and I laughed as I stepped backward. “What are you doing?”
She buzzed by my ear.
“Hey now. I should be asleep.” But it was a useless protest when I was pleased to see the bird. “You should be asleep, too, you know. Do you need to find a flower to curl up in?”
The bird flew to the other side of my room.
“I don’t have any in here.”
She zipped by once more.
“Aren’t you going to go?” I gestured uselessly back toward the open window, but of course the bird couldn’t understand me. She never could, no matter how many times it seemed she could. I turned. But the light in the room changed, so I whirled back.
As I watched, the bird seemed to shimmer and grow larger, morphing from a tiny, feathered creature into… into something else.
I rubbed my eyes, already deciding the day had made me hallucinate. When I looked again, the bird was gone, and Lexi stood in her place.
“Lexi! What?” I covered my mouth to keep from crying out, to keep from squealing. “But how?” I whisper-yelled. I didn’t have enough words to express my confusion.
She smiled and perched on the end of my bed before patting the space beside her. “Come and sit down, Meira. Let me help you.”
I walked over to her and did as she said. “You’re back?” I looked at her, still uncertain. Was I actually awake? Maybe I was in the middle of a post-shadow dream.
Lexi smiled again. “I never left.” She rested a hand on my arm, and peace filled me. “I’ve always been around.”
I placed my hand over hers. “You always make me feel better. Back at the Facility and now here, too.”
“I know.” Her gossamer wings fluttered, drawing my attention to them. They weren’t always noticeable, but maybe she was restless tonight. “I’m an empath… I know what you’re feeling, and I can influence you a little bit. Calm you down or help release you when it all gets too much. I tried at the Facility, but I was too late.” Her mouth turned down at the corners. “I couldn’t help that night in the cafeteria.”
“But my hummingbird.” I didn’t say anything beyond those three words.
