Kell, page 12
Striding across the room, she pulled the door open. Crossing her arms, she met his unyielding gaze, keeping her voice even. “You didn’t need to come by. What you do with your time is your business.”
A slight grin tilted up the corners of his mouth.
Dropping her arms, she walked past him, heading to the kitchen for a glass of wine. Filling the glass, she took a sip.
“Do you mind if I make coffee?” Kell entered the kitchen, grabbing a cup and coffee pod.
Sweeping her hand in the air, she leaned against the counter. “Be my guest.”
This time, he stifled a grin. Waiting for the coffee to finish, he snagged the cup, turning to face her.
“Her name’s Mary Jane. The other woman once dated Zane.”
“Mary Jane? Did you pick her up at Wicked Waters?”
“No, Beth. You’re the only woman I’ve picked up in a long time.”
Eyes wide, she glowered at him. “You did not pick me up.”
“What would you call it?”
Glancing around, she tapped a finger against her lips. “I picked you up?”
Throwing his head back, he roared with laughter.
“Well, I did.”
Setting down his cup, he closed the distance between them, dragging her against him. “And you can pick me up anytime you want, babe.”
Chapter Eighteen
Beth sat at one end of the sofa, Kell at the other. She’d allowed him a few kisses before shoving him away, wanting a better explanation. Both held cups of coffee. He sipped his while she stared into hers.
“I should’ve made time to call you this week.”
Beth glanced up at his words without responding.
“Between a time-wasting meeting with Rhodes, Sparrow, and their boss in Missoula, and the work which had stacked up at the ranch…” Looking at her doubtful expression and raised brow, he started over. “Look, Beth. I’m sorry I didn’t call. Especially today when Zane’s ex-girlfriend and her sister showed up. He had no warning. Seems his mother still thinks she’s perfect for Zane and gave her the ranch’s address.”
A slight grin formed in an attempt to soften her next question. “Are you saying he forced you to go out with the three of them?”
Setting his cup aside, he leaned toward her. “He didn’t force me, but I owe him. I won’t go into details. He called in a marker and I fulfilled it. What I should’ve done was call you to join us. I started to, but the women showed up and we took off.”
Kell realized what he’d said, wincing at his words. He never explained his actions, and certainly didn’t owe Beth one. They’d never discussed being exclusive. Maybe this was the time to cool things between them.
Anger at Kell vanishing, Beth’s mind shifted to the stunning redhead who couldn’t take her eyes off him. “Both women are beautiful.”
“No arguing that. Both are models, visiting for a few days before returning to New York for scheduled shoots. Zane hinted her profession, and his, was why they broke up. It was hard enough to maintain a relationship while in the Army.”
Kell sat forward, dreading what he’d say next. “I think this may be a mistake, Beth.”
Her stomach clenched. “A mistake?”
Standing, he paced several feet away, picking his words before turning to face her. “I’m not a relationship guy. I’m not good at it, nor is it something I want. It would be best if we took a break for a while.”
Wrapping her arms around her waist, she struggled to answer. Unable to meet his gaze, she sat stone still, her mind going blank.
“Beth?”
Swallowing the pain lodged in her throat, she raised her head to look at him. She refused to plead for him to stay. He wanted out, then she’d accept it and move on.
“If that’s what you want.”
Summoning all her courage, she rose. Squaring her shoulders, she lifted her chin. Stepping to the door, she opened it while forcing a smile.
“You’re a good man, Kell. I’m glad we had a chance to meet.”
Closing the distance between them, he lifted his hand, lowering it when she stepped away. “Beth, I…”
Fighting the tears burning at the backs of her eyes, she gave a slight shake of her head. “It’s all right. If it’s over for you, then…it’s over.” She drew the door open all the way, motioning for him to leave. “Be happy, Kell.”
Opening his mouth to reply, he closed it. Within the space of fifteen minutes, he’d kissed her silly, then ended their relationship. No matter how she tried to hide her feelings, he couldn’t miss the pain in her eyes, the confusion in the drawn lines on her face.
Kell shouldn’t have said anything until taking time to sort it all out. “Beth…” He had no more words, having already messed this up beyond repair. “Take care of yourself, Beth. You’re a wonderful woman.”
Finding it hard to breathe, she watched his retreat, his last words hurting her as much as his dismissal.
“It seems I wasn’t wonderful enough.” Her whispered words carried through the air, but not loud enough for him to hear.
It was for the best, Kell told himself over and over on his way back to the ranch. Relationships had never worked for him. Women expected too much and demanded explanations when he hadn’t called within a period acceptable to them. They questioned him when they weren’t together, and insisted he account for all his time.
Yet Beth had never chastised him for not calling. Never demanded he account for his time when they weren’t together. Instead of approaching him in anger at Wicked Waters, she’d left.
Kell doubted she would’ve called. It wasn’t her style. Unlike some women, she had innate grace, a sense of elegance and pride keeping her actions in check.
He’d been the one to enter her apartment uninvited. She’d been surprised, yet didn’t rage at him or demand answers. Being honest, he might not have responded with the same restraint if their situations had been reversed.
Not wanting to face the Macklins and Zane in such a rotten mood, he turned onto a side road taking him to one of his favorite spots. The lake had been a place he’d visited often while growing up.
When younger, he’d ridden his bicycle, then driven the truck he’d purchased as a high school sophomore. On a rare occasion, he’d bring a girlfriend. Kell preferred to enjoy the time alone, staring at the water while watching for the plentiful wildlife.
At tonight’s late hour, he found the small parking lot empty. It surprised him. Friday nights had always been a popular time with high schoolers.
Turning off the engine, he sat, making no move to leave the truck. Staring straight ahead, he thought of what happened at Beth’s apartment.
Kell couldn’t get Beth’s hurt expression out of his mind. She’d tried to hide it, forcing herself to conceal the pain. He admired her more than any woman since dating in high school. But there was more.
Bright and beautiful, with a calming presence, he’d been attracted to her the first time they’d shared the track. Knowing she worked for Larry Lawson may have dampened his interest for a short time, but his deep attraction toward her won out.
He’d fought his growing feelings, tried not to think about her, worked to come up with excuses for the erratic beating of his heart when she was around.
It was too soon. He wasn’t interested in anything longer than a few weeks. Fitting her into his already tight schedule would require too much work. All were lies.
Kell had already fallen for Beth. Then why had he ended it tonight?
Scrubbing both hands over his face, he cursed the fear which had gripped him in her apartment. Fear had never been a word he acknowledged while in the Army. Nothing stopped him from completing their missions. Certainly not the fear of being wounded or killed.
How could one beautiful, sweet woman achieve what dozens of missions hadn’t?
Fear of failing her.
Fear of not meeting her expectations.
Fear of giving his heart to her.
Fear of her rejection.
They were excuses. Justifications which hurt a woman who meant a great deal to him.
Leaving the truck, he took a path along the water’s edge. He knew it well. Hiking alone gave him time to sort out his thoughts without life’s normal interruptions. Tonight, he wouldn’t walk far.
Kell already suspected he’d made a mistake. The hardest decision would be how to reverse what he’d done.
Beth tossed about, kicking off covers, then dragging them back up to tuck under her chin. Her heart hurt, and she had no idea how to stop the pain.
Turning her head, she checked the time. Well after midnight.
Giving up, she sat on the edge of the bed, not knowing what to do next. How had it come to this? She’d never meant to fall in love with Kell, had been determined to protect her heart.
Shoving up, she plodded down the hall to the kitchen. Tea might help. Holding a warm cup while curling up on the sofa had always relaxed her. Maybe a movie she’d seen a dozen times would help her fall asleep.
She’d gone over their conversation a dozen times, trying to identify what she’d said to cause Kell to walk out on what they’d started. Nothing made sense. All Beth could come up with was he’d already made up his mind to end things. The idea increased her heartache.
Stirring a small amount of lime sugar into her tea, she found the controller before curling up on one end of the sofa. Choosing a feel good movie, she settled back.
Instead of the movie taking her mind off Kell, she found herself wondering what Kell was doing. Had he been able to go home and fall asleep as if what he’d done had no effect on her? Of course he had.
Kell had told her stories of falling asleep under the most unlikely conditions during his time in the Army. The experiences gave him the ability to sleep anywhere for short periods of time.
There was so much he’d done and experienced, most of which had no place in civilian life. Still, he’d talked of taking her camping, teaching her fly fishing, and how to read the stars. None of those would take place, at least not with him.
It didn’t matter. Beth could learn how to fly fish and read stars on her own. She didn’t need Kell or any man to teach her.
Beth thought of the weekend ahead. She’d run at the school, but in the evening instead of the morning. Kell preferred getting there early, right after dawn.
Treating herself to a cinnamon roll and coffee at the bistro sounded good, as did fixing Thai food for dinner. Maybe she’d call Alana, find out if she had plans for the weekend. She knew her friend liked Thai.
Beth remembered she had to register for summer classes. Two would be her limit, taking her another step closer to graduating.
Her mother would expect to hear from her on Sunday. Beth had told her about Kell. For now, she’d keep the fact he’d walked away to herself. She wasn’t ready to broadcast her poor choices to her family. Not yet, anyway.
Ticking off her plans caused her eyelids to grow heavy. Maybe she’d sleep for hours, not waking until noon or later.
Whatever it took to forget Kell and the loss of his friendship.
Chapter Nineteen
“We know where she lives and works, Colonel. This may be our last chance to silence Brooks, Talbot, and Walker before it’s too late.”
Colonel August Hayward paced his office, hands clasped behind his back. It was never supposed to go this far. He’d agreed to help with three shipments of drugs brought in from Afghanistan. Three shipments had turned to six, then twelve. Now they demanded twelve more.
Hayward’s offshore bank account had grown to astronomical proportions, as had the risk. They now threatened his wife and children if he didn’t continue his work. What seemed a simple way to provide for the future of those he loved had turned into a living nightmare.
It would never end unless he found a way to stop them.
Hayward had already made provisions for his family to fly out of the country. Checking the time, relief washed over him. Their plane would be taking off in less than ten minutes.
His next move would be to neutralize the handpicked men under his command who’d gone along with his illegal actions. The men who’d been with him since the beginning.
It had been a bigger mistake to go after those under his command. Men he’d sent on a mission, then turned it into a killing field. It was a traitorous act, which he knew would cost him his freedom. Perhaps his life.
“Colonel, I need your approval to go forward.”
Going forward meant kidnapping Bethany Hutchison, using her to control the three remaining men from the South American operation. He refused to do more harm to innocents.
“I’ll have a decision later today.”
“But, Colonel—”
“Later today, Major. Stand down until you hear from me.”
“Yes, sir.”
Waiting for several minutes, Hayward made a call. “Are they gone?”
“Yes, sir. Their plane flew out ten minutes ago. Weather is good, and they should reach their destination by 2400 hours. Will you be following, sir?”
“Not now. Let me know when their plane touches down.”
“Yes, sir.”
Lowering himself into his chair, Colonel August Hayward opened his personal journal. Picking up the hundred dollar pen his wife had given him for Christmas, he read the engraving.
You’ll always be my hero.
Regret, deep and bitter, stuck in his chest. There was a time he may have deserved the sentiment. Years ago, before he’d betrayed his men and his country.
Shoving aside his personal shame, Hayward began to write.
“Kell. Are you ready to ride to the neighbors?” Boone leaned against the stall where Kell wrapped a mare’s lower leg after applying a thick layer of salve. When he didn’t respond, Boone moved closer. “You all right, buddy?”
He wasn’t. Nor was he ready to talk about it to Boone or anyone else on the ranch. It had been three days since walking away from Beth. More than once, Kell had thought of calling her, dismissing the idea each time.
“I’m good. Let me tack up Joker. Ten minutes, max.”
Kell had worked from dawn to past dusk, doing all he could to push Beth from his mind. Not because he wanted to forget her. Far from it.
He needed time to get his head straight, decide the best way to approach her. She deserved so much better than what he’d dished out Friday night. Beth refusing to speak with him was a definite risk.
The Macklin brothers waited for him at the start of the trail dividing the two ranches. The Jernigans were out of town, looking for a house near Jim’s new job. Larry Lawson had another commitment, but assured them an attorney from his office would meet them with keys to the house.
“You gonna tell us what’s going on with you, Kell?” Boone rode beside him, lines of concern etching his face.
“I ended things with Beth.”
The muscles in Boone’s face slackened, but he remained silent.
“Can’t even tell you why. We were talking about something that happened Friday night.”
“Zane told me his ex-girlfriend showed up with her sister.”
“Yeah. The four of us went to Wicked Waters. Beth saw us there.”
“Did she make a scene?”
“Not at all. She left with Alana. Never came by our table.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling the weight of what he’d done. “I waited at her apartment until she came home. Beth was upset, but calm. She asked a few questions, the same ones any man would ask if they’d spotted their girl with another guy. Nothing she said set me off. Hell, I don’t know what happened.” Kell glanced behind him at Thorn and Del, who rode about ten feet behind them, talking between themselves. “I told her it would be best if we cooled things for a while. The look on her face, Boone.” He shook his head. “I’ll never forget the hurt.”
They rode in silence for a few minutes before Boone spoke. “You’re having second thoughts.”
“Within minutes of leaving her place. What’s wrong with me? She’s perfect. Why would I let her go?”
“Fear.”
Kell could argue he’d faced a lot worse and never felt fear. Except he knew Boone was right. His heart had become involved. Other women had come and gone during his life. One or two he thought he loved. He knew now how wrong he’d been. Not one had touched his heart the way Beth had in a few short weeks.
He choked out a harsh laugh. “Who would’ve thought I’d live through all those years in Special Forces to come home and be brought to my knees by a woman.”
“Don’t think you’re special. Happens to all men who fall in love.”
“Whoa. I’m not in love with Beth.” He knew the words were a lie the moment they left his lips.
“Keep telling yourself that. It won’t do you any good, though. It’s already too late.”
“How would you know?” Kell knew he fought a losing battle.
“’Cause I know you, and you’ve got it bad.” Boone leaned over, slapping Kell on the back. “Hey, it’s not a bad thing.”
“It is if she won’t speak to me.”
“This happened on Friday. It’s Tuesday. Have you tried calling her?”
“No.”
“What was that, Kell?”
He gritted his teeth. “No, I haven’t called her.”
“Maybe it’s time you did.”
Taking a turn in the trail, the house came into view, ending their conversation for now. Kell had a lot to think about.
Kell and the Macklins didn’t look at the house before making their offer. As his childhood home, no one saw the need. What they saw surprised them.
The place looked great from the outside. Better than when his parents sold it and the ranch. The Jernigans had applied a fresh coat of paint, repaired the roof, installed new windows, and spruced up the yard with new landscaping.
Pulling out his phone, he snapped a few pictures while waiting for the attorney to arrive. Maybe he’d send a couple to his mother. Something to think about.
Ground tying their horses, the men congregated on the wide, wraparound porch. Kell would move in when the sale finalized.
