Frayed Obsession, page 18
The sound of flesh connecting with flesh, of bones snapping and cracking, fills my ears, and I struggle not to be pulled away.
“Grace, what are you doing?” he asks, his tone accusatory but not necessarily aggressive.
He takes another step towards me, and my throat gets tighter. Sebastian’s office is nothing like his, but I can’t separate them right now.
Sebastian narrows his eyes at me, but before he can say anything else, I whisper, “I’m sorry.” Then I dart past him and out of the room.
I didn’t see you earlier,” Mason says when he walks into the lounge where I’m sitting on the couch.
“Sorry, I was taking a nap.”
I wasn’t, and I feel kind of bad for hiding out, but I didn’t have the energy to shield myself from him after yesterday.
Mason is almost as good at picking up on what I’m feeling as Sebastian is, and the more time I spend with him, the harder it is not to let him in.
I’d waited for it—the admonishment. I’d expected Sebastian to storm after me, demand to know what I was doing in his office, but it never came.
Sebastian came home late last night. I cooked dinner, but instead of sticking around, I left him a plate in the oven and a note before going to bed early. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him because I don’t think I’d ever not want to, but I was still a little shaky from our encounter earlier, and I knew he’d see it.
“Are you feeling okay? I can bring you back up a hot chocolate if you like?” he asks, and I feel even worse for dodging him earlier.
“I’ll come down with you,” I say, standing from the couch. “Oh!” My head snaps up. “I owe you a coffee.” I spin for the hall, but Mason’s gentle touch on my arm stops me.
“Grace, you don’t owe me anything,” he says, and I turn to see him looking down at me with soft eyes.
“Please. I want to.”
Mason sighs, but he smiles and drops his hand from my arm.
I hurry to my room and pull out my cash. Sighing, I flick through the few notes I have left. It’s not going to be much to start over with, but it will have to do. I owe Mason more than one coffee, but I want to do this much at least.
Grabbing enough for our drinks, I stash the rest back into the inner pocket of my backpack and re-join Mason in the lounge.
We take Shadow downstairs to the grass before lining up at the coffee window. Shadow’s ears perk up, and his tail swishes faster the closer we get to the window, and I laugh at how excited he gets knowing what’s coming.
“Morning, Mason, Grace,” the barista says when it’s our turn. “Hello, handsome.” She leans out the window towards Shadow.
Shadow sits, his chest puffed out and straight, but his tail picks up even more speed. The girl laughs and holds out the treat he’s waiting for, and he wastes no time devouring it while we place our orders.
I hand over the money, and it feels nice to do something for Mason, even if it’s only one coffee. Taking the change, we step out of the line to wait for our orders.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to,” Mason says.
“I wanted to,” I say, giving him a quick smile.
Mason nods, returning the gesture. “So, how are you liking it here?”
Glancing at Mason, I try to think of something to say. “It’s… nice.”
It’s definitely nice being so close to Sebastian, and for the most part, it feels safe here.
Knowing Mason is downstairs most days helps as well.
“How’s Sebastian treating you?” he asks, but his voice has a serious note to it that has me focussing on him.
“He… uh, good,” I say, but my face warms when my mind goes straight to what he said in the foyer the other day when he pulled me against him, and I dart my eyes away.
I feel Mason’s eyes on me, but I don’t meet his stare, not when all I can think about is that, and knowing he’d likely see right through me.
“He’s a good man,” he says after a moment, and I can’t help but agree.
“He is,” I say in a quiet voice, finally meeting Mason’s eyes again.
I’m not sure what he thinks is going on between Sebastian and me, but he doesn’t ask anything further about it. Not that I’d have an answer. I have no idea what’s going on between us.
Our order is called, and Mason goes to grab our drinks.
“Thanks again,” he says, handing over my hot chocolate.
“You’re welcome,” I say and find my lips lifting again.
We walk back into the apartment building, but instead of coming up to the Penthouse, Mason flashes his security card to let me up so he can get back to work.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Grace.”
“Bye, Mason,” I say, and my chest tightens as I realise I’m really going to miss him when I leave.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sebastian
“You went to bed early last night,” I say, sitting on the arm of the couch by Grace, having just come home from work. It’s a lot later than I have been coming home since she’s been here, closer to the hours I had worked before, but I had too much work to catch up on. Although after not seeing her last night, then being so late tonight, I don’t want to admit I was starting to fucking miss her.
I second-guessed everything when I found Grace in my office yesterday—on my computer—and with the way she fled the room, I’d thought the worst. Everything Easton had been banging on about for the past week filtered through my mind in a new light.
There shouldn’t be anything important stored on the desktop computer in my office, and you need a password and credentials to get onto the company server. So, unless you were a computer genius, there wasn’t much you could do, but that’s not the point. It’s the motivation behind the actions, but what I found when I checked the browsing history was surprising, to say the least.
“Sorry, I was tired.” Grace’s lips turn down as she watches a show on the flatscreen, though her distant gaze tells me she’s not really paying attention to it. The words don’t come out as convincing as I think she intended, but I don’t push. Grace had been completely rattled when I walked in on her in my office. It was the first time I’d seen her scared. No, it was more than that. She was completely panicked. At first, I’d thought it was my reaction, and I don’t deny, in the moment, I was pretty heated, but it didn’t feel like the right answer. I might have raised my voice a little, but I hadn’t been threatening. Much.
“Did you get my note?” she asks, finally looking at me properly for the first time tonight.
“Yes, thank you for that,” I say, and she lets out a relieved breath. The note on the bench when I’d come back from work had been a surprise, and I thought Grace had maybe gone for a shower or something. Only leaving the note in case I’d shown up while she couldn’t tell me. But she never emerged from her room. To be honest, it was strange not having her there when I walked in. You wouldn’t think I’d get so used to something in just over a week, but here I was. I’d checked on her, and her room was closed up and dark, but I could make out the distinct shape of her form in the bed, so I left her be.
“Of course,” she replies, her lips hooking at the sides. I can’t look at them without remembering what they feel like on mine. It’s both a blessing and a curse, but right now, I was leaning towards curse, not being able to take them whenever I wanted.
With a sigh, I stand from the side of the couch. “I’m going to take Shadow for a walk if you want to come,” I offer her.
After glancing to the large windows in the lounge and the dark sky beyond, she mulls the question over for a minute. “O… okay,” she says.
We go our separate ways for a few minutes, then meet back in the foyer. Grace’s attention goes straight to the coat in my arms, the same one she’d worn two days ago at the beach. Shadow bounces on his paws as he waits for us to get going, and I hold out the coat with a pointed stare. She doesn’t protest this time, and approval flashes through me. I’d tried to ask her what she needed the other day, I wanted to help, but she wasn’t having any of it. Still, I feel guilty, and I’m torn between just fucking getting her what she needs regardless or dropping it and respecting her pride.
After taking the lift down to the main floor, I clip Shadow’s lead on before we head outside, not that he really needs it. He doesn’t usually stray from your side unless he’s at the beach, then everything is fair game.
Every now and then, Grace’s arm bumps mine as she walks right at my side, and any time we cross paths with someone else, she moves even closer to me. The anger I feel whenever I think of who the fuck she’s so scared of bubbles in my stomach.
“Have you always lived in Sydney?” I ask, going for anything that might break the silence between us. Also, something I might be able to use to get some additional answers.
“No.” She shakes her head. “Not in the city.” She doesn’t elaborate any further, and I have to stop the growl of frustration from leaving my throat.
Does she ever answer a question without being vague?
“What about you?” she asks, shifting the question back to me.
“For the most part,” I say, glancing at her. “Though my parents’ house, where I grew up, is a little bit out of the city. I haven’t been back there since…” I trail off. I don’t want to think about what happened before the Reeds found me. Nor do I want to think about the family home they gave me for twenty-five years.
Grace’s steps falter at my answer, and Shadow halts as I stop to face her. “Are you ok—”
She steps into me, cutting off my words, and a small oomph puffs out of me as she wraps her arms around my waist. The move is so unexpected, it takes me a second to lose the stiffness in my stance, but then I come to rest my hands on her back. If I thought she fit against me when I kissed her, it’s nothing compared to now. “Grace?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers into my chest. “I’m sorry you lost them.”
My breath hitches at the sudden grief that slams into me, but it’s not only that. It’s the pain in her voice. Pain for my family. For my loss. I don’t know how to take it. How is it that she has so much compassion for me? What did I do to deserve it?
Clearing my throat, I say, “We should go back. You shouldn’t be on your ankle for long.”
Her arms squeeze me tighter, and I don’t move, letting her have this moment she clearly needs. And strangely enough, I get the feeling I needed it as well. It’s another moment before she untangles herself from me, and only then do I let her go.
It doesn’t take long for us to get back to the penthouse, and Grace yawns as we walk through the open lift doors into the foyer. A glance at my watch confirms it’s nearly eleven.
“I think I’m going to head to bed,” she says, and another yawn escapes her.
“Mmm, I might try and get a little work done,” I say. It’s still early enough for me to fit in some extra work. And with all days I’ve left work early to be home for dinner, I had to make up for it somewhere, even if I did stay later tonight.
We walk down the hall together until we reach Grace’s room.
Instead of entering, though, she leans her back against the closed door of the guest room I’ve come to know as her room and stares up at me. A rumble starts in my throat at the look she gives me, and my hand finds her hip, squeezing it.
“Good night,” she says, and her voice is nothing but breathy words.
Heat sparks in my chest, and I lean down, moving my lips closer to hers, but then I stop, hesitating before I can reach where I want to be so badly. How many times have I been in this position? It’s getting to the point now that I’m not going to be able to stop myself from taking everything I want from her. And with all the heated glances she throws at me that are almost innocent in nature, it’s almost like a part of her is asking me to do just that. Clearly, I’m not the only one feeling something.
Grace licks her lips, and I follow the move. Lifting her hand, she rests it against the side of my face and her nails scratching through the stubble on my jaw breaks the last string of my control. I close the distance between us, pressing my lips to hers in a sweet, fleeting kiss.
Before I do something she isn’t ready for, I tear my mouth away from hers. “Good night, Grace,” I say, squeezing her hip again before I step back and flee to the safety of my room regaining a sliver of control.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Emery
My hand flies to my neck as my body shoots upright off the bed.
Rasping breaths escape my raw throat, along with a pained cry with every other one. I can still feel his hand wrapped tight around my neck, his thick fingers digging into my skin so hard I’m not sure how they don’t break through the skin.
Shadow whines and the bed dips when he jumps up. He’s always been there for me when I wake up in a blind panic with a cold sweat clinging to my skin. But for the last week or so, on particularly bad nights, he’s started jumping on the bed rather than standing by my side. Barely able to make out his outline through my tear-blurred vision in the dark room, I reach out blindly. My hand lands on his back when he curls up next to me, resting his head on my lap, and I clasp his fur between my fingers.
I’ve been here for nearly two weeks, and I still haven’t heard anything about when I’ll be leaving. Sebastian had mentioned being close to finding Ian, but that was the only time I’d been told anything.
I don’t know how long I lay there, Shadow at my side before I hear the door open. Soft steps enter the room, pausing by the side of the bed.
“Good morning,” I say, my voice quiet and hoarse.
I’ve been lying awake so long I can make out nearly all of Sebastian’s features in the dark room.
“Good morning,” he says slowly, squinting towards the bed.
It’s early enough that it’s dark out, and whilst I wake most mornings when Sebastian comes to get Shadow for his run, I’ve never let him know I was awake.
Until today.
Shadow already has his chest puffed and his ears up—my fingers still clenched in his fur.
I force myself to let go, knowing he likely needs to go out and not wanting to keep him from his run.
“You’re awake early,” Sebastian says.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Mmm… did you want to come?”
“I might try and get some more sleep,” I say, knowing full well I won’t, but I’m completely exhausted.
Sebastian nods. “I’ll be back soon. Come on, Shadow.”
Jumping up and off the bed, Shadow follows Sebastian.
“Do you have to go to work today?” I ask in a rush before he can leave.
Sebastian glances back to me. “Yes,” he says. “Is something wrong?”
I didn’t really expect him to turn around and say he’ll stay home, just like that, even if it is a Saturday. But I can’t deny a small sliver of me was holding out hope. “Nothing’s wrong,” I say, but the shake in my voice betrays my words.
Sebastian walks back into the room, not stopping until he reaches my side. “What is it?” he asks, concern lacing his voice. He sits on the edge of the bed, and his hand comes to rest on my face in a move I’m becoming more addicted to each time he does it. I hadn’t even realised I was crying until his thumb swipes across my cheek, collecting the liquid.
Sniffing, I try to collect myself. As much as I want to lean fully into him and hold his palm in place so he can’t go anywhere, I don’t allow myself to. I’m not sure I’d keep it together if I did. “I’m just tired,” I say.
Sebastian sighs at my answer and drops his hand from my face. “I’ll be back before dinner,” he says, standing and heading for the door once more.
Sebastian takes one last look before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.
The rest of the morning, I spend tossing and turning before at least managing to pull myself out of bed.
“Grace.”
My eyes snap open, and I’m met with Sebastian’s face as he stands over the couch. As I sit up, the blanket slides off, pooling in my lap. Is it the afternoon already? The last thing I remember is watching some kind of comedy on the television, and I definitely didn’t have a blanket.
“I was going to let you sleep longer, but I thought we could eat out tonight.”
“What?” I ask, yawning, trying to clear the fog from my head.
“Shit,” he mutters under his breath. “Go back to sleep, Grace. We can go another time.”
“Wait, go where?” I stand, suddenly wide awake.
We stand toe to toe, and Sebastian studies me before glancing at his watch.
“Be ready in half an hour if you want to go,” he says, then heads for the hall leading to the bedrooms.
“Where are we going?”
“Half an hour,” he says again as he disappears down the hall, and I blow out a frustrated breath
Sebastian wants to go out to dinner?
With me?
Like a date?
Okay, probably not like a date.
Going to my room, I pause in the doorway, gazing down the hall to where Sebastian’s room is. The door is closed, but I look anyway.
I enter my room but only make it a few steps before stopping. I have nothing to wear. Looking down at my clothes, I see the same blue jeans and cream knit that I wear nearly every day. It might only be a non-date dinner, but the thought of wearing this same outfit deflates the little part of excitement I felt at spending more time with Sebastian.
Snap out of it!
Refusing to feel sorry for myself, I head for the bathroom to salvage the sleep hair I’m assuming I have, but before I make it there, I remember.
Detouring to the wardrobe, I press open the first door and spy the bag I shoved in there a few days ago. Picking it up, I carry it over and dump it on the bed, clothes already spilling out of it.
“Grace, what are you doing?” he asks, his tone accusatory but not necessarily aggressive.
He takes another step towards me, and my throat gets tighter. Sebastian’s office is nothing like his, but I can’t separate them right now.
Sebastian narrows his eyes at me, but before he can say anything else, I whisper, “I’m sorry.” Then I dart past him and out of the room.
I didn’t see you earlier,” Mason says when he walks into the lounge where I’m sitting on the couch.
“Sorry, I was taking a nap.”
I wasn’t, and I feel kind of bad for hiding out, but I didn’t have the energy to shield myself from him after yesterday.
Mason is almost as good at picking up on what I’m feeling as Sebastian is, and the more time I spend with him, the harder it is not to let him in.
I’d waited for it—the admonishment. I’d expected Sebastian to storm after me, demand to know what I was doing in his office, but it never came.
Sebastian came home late last night. I cooked dinner, but instead of sticking around, I left him a plate in the oven and a note before going to bed early. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him because I don’t think I’d ever not want to, but I was still a little shaky from our encounter earlier, and I knew he’d see it.
“Are you feeling okay? I can bring you back up a hot chocolate if you like?” he asks, and I feel even worse for dodging him earlier.
“I’ll come down with you,” I say, standing from the couch. “Oh!” My head snaps up. “I owe you a coffee.” I spin for the hall, but Mason’s gentle touch on my arm stops me.
“Grace, you don’t owe me anything,” he says, and I turn to see him looking down at me with soft eyes.
“Please. I want to.”
Mason sighs, but he smiles and drops his hand from my arm.
I hurry to my room and pull out my cash. Sighing, I flick through the few notes I have left. It’s not going to be much to start over with, but it will have to do. I owe Mason more than one coffee, but I want to do this much at least.
Grabbing enough for our drinks, I stash the rest back into the inner pocket of my backpack and re-join Mason in the lounge.
We take Shadow downstairs to the grass before lining up at the coffee window. Shadow’s ears perk up, and his tail swishes faster the closer we get to the window, and I laugh at how excited he gets knowing what’s coming.
“Morning, Mason, Grace,” the barista says when it’s our turn. “Hello, handsome.” She leans out the window towards Shadow.
Shadow sits, his chest puffed out and straight, but his tail picks up even more speed. The girl laughs and holds out the treat he’s waiting for, and he wastes no time devouring it while we place our orders.
I hand over the money, and it feels nice to do something for Mason, even if it’s only one coffee. Taking the change, we step out of the line to wait for our orders.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to,” Mason says.
“I wanted to,” I say, giving him a quick smile.
Mason nods, returning the gesture. “So, how are you liking it here?”
Glancing at Mason, I try to think of something to say. “It’s… nice.”
It’s definitely nice being so close to Sebastian, and for the most part, it feels safe here.
Knowing Mason is downstairs most days helps as well.
“How’s Sebastian treating you?” he asks, but his voice has a serious note to it that has me focussing on him.
“He… uh, good,” I say, but my face warms when my mind goes straight to what he said in the foyer the other day when he pulled me against him, and I dart my eyes away.
I feel Mason’s eyes on me, but I don’t meet his stare, not when all I can think about is that, and knowing he’d likely see right through me.
“He’s a good man,” he says after a moment, and I can’t help but agree.
“He is,” I say in a quiet voice, finally meeting Mason’s eyes again.
I’m not sure what he thinks is going on between Sebastian and me, but he doesn’t ask anything further about it. Not that I’d have an answer. I have no idea what’s going on between us.
Our order is called, and Mason goes to grab our drinks.
“Thanks again,” he says, handing over my hot chocolate.
“You’re welcome,” I say and find my lips lifting again.
We walk back into the apartment building, but instead of coming up to the Penthouse, Mason flashes his security card to let me up so he can get back to work.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Grace.”
“Bye, Mason,” I say, and my chest tightens as I realise I’m really going to miss him when I leave.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sebastian
“You went to bed early last night,” I say, sitting on the arm of the couch by Grace, having just come home from work. It’s a lot later than I have been coming home since she’s been here, closer to the hours I had worked before, but I had too much work to catch up on. Although after not seeing her last night, then being so late tonight, I don’t want to admit I was starting to fucking miss her.
I second-guessed everything when I found Grace in my office yesterday—on my computer—and with the way she fled the room, I’d thought the worst. Everything Easton had been banging on about for the past week filtered through my mind in a new light.
There shouldn’t be anything important stored on the desktop computer in my office, and you need a password and credentials to get onto the company server. So, unless you were a computer genius, there wasn’t much you could do, but that’s not the point. It’s the motivation behind the actions, but what I found when I checked the browsing history was surprising, to say the least.
“Sorry, I was tired.” Grace’s lips turn down as she watches a show on the flatscreen, though her distant gaze tells me she’s not really paying attention to it. The words don’t come out as convincing as I think she intended, but I don’t push. Grace had been completely rattled when I walked in on her in my office. It was the first time I’d seen her scared. No, it was more than that. She was completely panicked. At first, I’d thought it was my reaction, and I don’t deny, in the moment, I was pretty heated, but it didn’t feel like the right answer. I might have raised my voice a little, but I hadn’t been threatening. Much.
“Did you get my note?” she asks, finally looking at me properly for the first time tonight.
“Yes, thank you for that,” I say, and she lets out a relieved breath. The note on the bench when I’d come back from work had been a surprise, and I thought Grace had maybe gone for a shower or something. Only leaving the note in case I’d shown up while she couldn’t tell me. But she never emerged from her room. To be honest, it was strange not having her there when I walked in. You wouldn’t think I’d get so used to something in just over a week, but here I was. I’d checked on her, and her room was closed up and dark, but I could make out the distinct shape of her form in the bed, so I left her be.
“Of course,” she replies, her lips hooking at the sides. I can’t look at them without remembering what they feel like on mine. It’s both a blessing and a curse, but right now, I was leaning towards curse, not being able to take them whenever I wanted.
With a sigh, I stand from the side of the couch. “I’m going to take Shadow for a walk if you want to come,” I offer her.
After glancing to the large windows in the lounge and the dark sky beyond, she mulls the question over for a minute. “O… okay,” she says.
We go our separate ways for a few minutes, then meet back in the foyer. Grace’s attention goes straight to the coat in my arms, the same one she’d worn two days ago at the beach. Shadow bounces on his paws as he waits for us to get going, and I hold out the coat with a pointed stare. She doesn’t protest this time, and approval flashes through me. I’d tried to ask her what she needed the other day, I wanted to help, but she wasn’t having any of it. Still, I feel guilty, and I’m torn between just fucking getting her what she needs regardless or dropping it and respecting her pride.
After taking the lift down to the main floor, I clip Shadow’s lead on before we head outside, not that he really needs it. He doesn’t usually stray from your side unless he’s at the beach, then everything is fair game.
Every now and then, Grace’s arm bumps mine as she walks right at my side, and any time we cross paths with someone else, she moves even closer to me. The anger I feel whenever I think of who the fuck she’s so scared of bubbles in my stomach.
“Have you always lived in Sydney?” I ask, going for anything that might break the silence between us. Also, something I might be able to use to get some additional answers.
“No.” She shakes her head. “Not in the city.” She doesn’t elaborate any further, and I have to stop the growl of frustration from leaving my throat.
Does she ever answer a question without being vague?
“What about you?” she asks, shifting the question back to me.
“For the most part,” I say, glancing at her. “Though my parents’ house, where I grew up, is a little bit out of the city. I haven’t been back there since…” I trail off. I don’t want to think about what happened before the Reeds found me. Nor do I want to think about the family home they gave me for twenty-five years.
Grace’s steps falter at my answer, and Shadow halts as I stop to face her. “Are you ok—”
She steps into me, cutting off my words, and a small oomph puffs out of me as she wraps her arms around my waist. The move is so unexpected, it takes me a second to lose the stiffness in my stance, but then I come to rest my hands on her back. If I thought she fit against me when I kissed her, it’s nothing compared to now. “Grace?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers into my chest. “I’m sorry you lost them.”
My breath hitches at the sudden grief that slams into me, but it’s not only that. It’s the pain in her voice. Pain for my family. For my loss. I don’t know how to take it. How is it that she has so much compassion for me? What did I do to deserve it?
Clearing my throat, I say, “We should go back. You shouldn’t be on your ankle for long.”
Her arms squeeze me tighter, and I don’t move, letting her have this moment she clearly needs. And strangely enough, I get the feeling I needed it as well. It’s another moment before she untangles herself from me, and only then do I let her go.
It doesn’t take long for us to get back to the penthouse, and Grace yawns as we walk through the open lift doors into the foyer. A glance at my watch confirms it’s nearly eleven.
“I think I’m going to head to bed,” she says, and another yawn escapes her.
“Mmm, I might try and get a little work done,” I say. It’s still early enough for me to fit in some extra work. And with all days I’ve left work early to be home for dinner, I had to make up for it somewhere, even if I did stay later tonight.
We walk down the hall together until we reach Grace’s room.
Instead of entering, though, she leans her back against the closed door of the guest room I’ve come to know as her room and stares up at me. A rumble starts in my throat at the look she gives me, and my hand finds her hip, squeezing it.
“Good night,” she says, and her voice is nothing but breathy words.
Heat sparks in my chest, and I lean down, moving my lips closer to hers, but then I stop, hesitating before I can reach where I want to be so badly. How many times have I been in this position? It’s getting to the point now that I’m not going to be able to stop myself from taking everything I want from her. And with all the heated glances she throws at me that are almost innocent in nature, it’s almost like a part of her is asking me to do just that. Clearly, I’m not the only one feeling something.
Grace licks her lips, and I follow the move. Lifting her hand, she rests it against the side of my face and her nails scratching through the stubble on my jaw breaks the last string of my control. I close the distance between us, pressing my lips to hers in a sweet, fleeting kiss.
Before I do something she isn’t ready for, I tear my mouth away from hers. “Good night, Grace,” I say, squeezing her hip again before I step back and flee to the safety of my room regaining a sliver of control.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Emery
My hand flies to my neck as my body shoots upright off the bed.
Rasping breaths escape my raw throat, along with a pained cry with every other one. I can still feel his hand wrapped tight around my neck, his thick fingers digging into my skin so hard I’m not sure how they don’t break through the skin.
Shadow whines and the bed dips when he jumps up. He’s always been there for me when I wake up in a blind panic with a cold sweat clinging to my skin. But for the last week or so, on particularly bad nights, he’s started jumping on the bed rather than standing by my side. Barely able to make out his outline through my tear-blurred vision in the dark room, I reach out blindly. My hand lands on his back when he curls up next to me, resting his head on my lap, and I clasp his fur between my fingers.
I’ve been here for nearly two weeks, and I still haven’t heard anything about when I’ll be leaving. Sebastian had mentioned being close to finding Ian, but that was the only time I’d been told anything.
I don’t know how long I lay there, Shadow at my side before I hear the door open. Soft steps enter the room, pausing by the side of the bed.
“Good morning,” I say, my voice quiet and hoarse.
I’ve been lying awake so long I can make out nearly all of Sebastian’s features in the dark room.
“Good morning,” he says slowly, squinting towards the bed.
It’s early enough that it’s dark out, and whilst I wake most mornings when Sebastian comes to get Shadow for his run, I’ve never let him know I was awake.
Until today.
Shadow already has his chest puffed and his ears up—my fingers still clenched in his fur.
I force myself to let go, knowing he likely needs to go out and not wanting to keep him from his run.
“You’re awake early,” Sebastian says.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Mmm… did you want to come?”
“I might try and get some more sleep,” I say, knowing full well I won’t, but I’m completely exhausted.
Sebastian nods. “I’ll be back soon. Come on, Shadow.”
Jumping up and off the bed, Shadow follows Sebastian.
“Do you have to go to work today?” I ask in a rush before he can leave.
Sebastian glances back to me. “Yes,” he says. “Is something wrong?”
I didn’t really expect him to turn around and say he’ll stay home, just like that, even if it is a Saturday. But I can’t deny a small sliver of me was holding out hope. “Nothing’s wrong,” I say, but the shake in my voice betrays my words.
Sebastian walks back into the room, not stopping until he reaches my side. “What is it?” he asks, concern lacing his voice. He sits on the edge of the bed, and his hand comes to rest on my face in a move I’m becoming more addicted to each time he does it. I hadn’t even realised I was crying until his thumb swipes across my cheek, collecting the liquid.
Sniffing, I try to collect myself. As much as I want to lean fully into him and hold his palm in place so he can’t go anywhere, I don’t allow myself to. I’m not sure I’d keep it together if I did. “I’m just tired,” I say.
Sebastian sighs at my answer and drops his hand from my face. “I’ll be back before dinner,” he says, standing and heading for the door once more.
Sebastian takes one last look before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.
The rest of the morning, I spend tossing and turning before at least managing to pull myself out of bed.
“Grace.”
My eyes snap open, and I’m met with Sebastian’s face as he stands over the couch. As I sit up, the blanket slides off, pooling in my lap. Is it the afternoon already? The last thing I remember is watching some kind of comedy on the television, and I definitely didn’t have a blanket.
“I was going to let you sleep longer, but I thought we could eat out tonight.”
“What?” I ask, yawning, trying to clear the fog from my head.
“Shit,” he mutters under his breath. “Go back to sleep, Grace. We can go another time.”
“Wait, go where?” I stand, suddenly wide awake.
We stand toe to toe, and Sebastian studies me before glancing at his watch.
“Be ready in half an hour if you want to go,” he says, then heads for the hall leading to the bedrooms.
“Where are we going?”
“Half an hour,” he says again as he disappears down the hall, and I blow out a frustrated breath
Sebastian wants to go out to dinner?
With me?
Like a date?
Okay, probably not like a date.
Going to my room, I pause in the doorway, gazing down the hall to where Sebastian’s room is. The door is closed, but I look anyway.
I enter my room but only make it a few steps before stopping. I have nothing to wear. Looking down at my clothes, I see the same blue jeans and cream knit that I wear nearly every day. It might only be a non-date dinner, but the thought of wearing this same outfit deflates the little part of excitement I felt at spending more time with Sebastian.
Snap out of it!
Refusing to feel sorry for myself, I head for the bathroom to salvage the sleep hair I’m assuming I have, but before I make it there, I remember.
Detouring to the wardrobe, I press open the first door and spy the bag I shoved in there a few days ago. Picking it up, I carry it over and dump it on the bed, clothes already spilling out of it.
