"I'm sure he enjoys them; how could he not? Clayton told me that my letters were a true gift during the war. Anything reminding him of home was. Merritt's said the same thing a time or two."

  The thought of Clayton actively anticipating her letters warmed her through and through—though she wasn't completely sure that that was the case. "I guess one day I'll be able to ask him in person."

  "At least he's been writing you back. Most men don't think of such things. How many letters has he sent you?"

  Three. She'd received three cherished notes from him, the pages worn and wrinkled both from him writing to her on the trail and her constant rereading of them. "I've gotten a fair amount."

  "I see that look of worry you're wearing," Corrine admonished."Try not to, now. I imagine it's a mite harder for Clayton to have the time to write, given the jobs he's doing and such."

  "He's a busy man," Vanessa said slowly. And he was. She had been brought up on a ranch and had no illusions about the ease of mailing letters from the back of a horse! In addition, he'd been branding, nursing calves, and clearing farmland.She imagined that there was many a day when all he wanted to do was sit in front of a campfire and nurse his coffee.

  She'd sure witnessed that pleasure of his often enough on their way to Colorado.

  But she certainly did cherish each letter he wrote. Full of descriptions of the northern plains, she felt sometimes as if she was traveling through the brush and across rocky terrain by his side, or at least in his heart.

  Seeking to alleviate the strained silence, Vanessa said, "Where's Aaron?"

  "Sleeping, thank the good Lord," Corrine replied with a smile. "He's a dear, but a handful since he hasn't gotten the notion that nighttime is for sleeping. Pearl's watching him for a couple of minutes so I can take a break."

  Aaron, though a challenge to any sort of regular schedule, was in every other way a complete angel. Already it was impossible to remember life without the giggling baby boy. His smile and manner were infectious, earning him admirers right and left, especially his two older sisters. Melissa and Kate were sure he was their new toy. "I think Aaron has helped José and Pearl overcome their differences."

  Corrine smiled at that. "I'd like to think my sweet baby had a role to play in their reuniting, but I'm not sure that happened.Maybe it was finally their time to mend ways and step over their problems. 'For everything there is a season.'"

  "Maybe it was," Vanessa murmured. And, of course, the inevitable crossed her mind. When was it going to be her and Clayton's time? Their separation seemed like an eternity.

  "Maybe," Corrine agreed. With a heartfelt sigh, she pointed to the west. "My, now look at that. Isn't that a beautiful sunset?"

  Together, they watched the sun make its slow descent along the horizon, casting the mountains in the distance an orange, then pink, then purplish glow. Soon, the first star of the evening appeared, signaling the end of the show.

  "That was a good one," Corrine said with a smile and a little clap. "I never get tired of looking at the sun setting over the mountains."

  "It's so different from Texas," Vanessa said, then wished she'd said something less inane. Of course the scenery was different."I mean, here, we seem so much closer to the stars at night. Being outside here feels different, somehow."

  Corrine nodded. "I feel that way, too. Strange as it may seem, sometimes I miss the hot, humid air and the smell of rain. It hardly ever rains here."

  "I miss the fields of bluebonnets and Indian paintbrushes."

  "Mesquite trees and flat ground."

  "Red dust and parched lips," Vanessa added with a laugh."I take back what I said. There are some things about Texas I don't miss at all."

  "We could say the same about here, I suppose."

  Vanessa turned to Corrine. "No matter what my reasons for being here, I do want you to know that I've enjoyed my stay. I hope I've thanked you enough."

  "You've thanked us too much. We're family, Vanessa.Families look out for one another."

  "I'd forgotten that, I'm afraid."

  "You've had your reasons to. But, no matter what, I must say that we've enjoyed your company and your help." Smiling slyly, Corrine added, "I don't think Merritt's going to let you leave—you certainly make some wonderful biscuits."

  "I'll teach you how to make them. It's really all in how you roll them out." Remembering their many disastrous lessons in the kitchen, Vanessa amended her words. "I mean, I'll try and teach you again."

  "We both know that would be a futile proposition. Flour and me go about as well together as you and gardening!"

  Vanessa laughed, taking no insult from the jibe. "You're right. It was certainly harder than it sounded."

  "Most things are." Corrine snapped her fingers. "Goodness, now I remember why I came out here. It was to ask about Clayton's latest letter. José told me he brought you one from town. What did it say?"

  "Clayton's settled into Benson, Nebraska, as a sheriff.They've given him a sizable room above the jail."

  Corrine wrinkled her nose. "Clayton working as a lawman.Can't say that's good news. I can't picture it, can you?"

  Honestly, Vanessa could not. "He's an upstanding man, but I never figured he would enjoy doing that sort of job."

  "That's very sweetly put. I'll just say what I'm thinking.He's no good regulating bad guys."

  The honesty made Vanessa feel better. "I believe that to be true. It's hard to think of him living in town, not making his living on the back of Lee. Clayton always seems most at home in the saddle." Had she ever wanted anything more than to have him back? Giving into weakness, she admitted, "I miss him, Corrine. I miss him so badly I ache. The feelings have nothing to do with you or Merritt, or your beautiful homestead."

  "I understand completely. You feel like you're missing your heart."

  "That's it, exactly," Vanessa answered, glad that Corrine understood her feelings so well. As the quiet of twilight surrounded them, she whispered. "I want to go to Benson and be with him."

  "You can't," Corrine said, pressing her hand on Vanessa's arm. "Just because Price hasn't shown up on our doorstep doesn't mean he hasn't gone out searching for you."

  "If he's still searching, it's been a long time."

  "He may not be putting as much stock into a calendar as you are, Vanessa. He may just be thinking that he'll see you sooner or later."

  "I hope not." Sometimes, if Vanessa held her eyes closed long enough, she could fool herself into thinking that her stepfather's attack had taken place during another lifetime.

  She certainly felt like another person. The innocent girl who worried about the correct term for periwinkle was long gone.

  "Merritt did some checking during the last roundup. Folks in Santa Fe were offered money to bring news of you. Price hasn't given up yet."

  That rattled her. "Did anyone talk?"

  "Not that Merritt heard. Seems the mercantile operator is just as loyal to Merritt as he is to Clayton. He said he'd never heard of a man named Clayton Proffitt, and he'd certainly never seen the woman he described."

  Remembering Hank, and the story Clayton had told about him and his farm, Vanessa smiled. "The mercantile owner is a man named Hank. Clayton knew him from the war. He certainly seemed like a good man. Did you ever meet him?"

  "No, Merritt didn't either. I guess Clayton met him before he went to Merritt's unit. But Merritt did recall Clayton's story of Hank taking in Clayton's unit while one of his soldiers recovered."

  "He's still taking care of Clayton, I guess," Vanessa mused."I'm thankful Hank didn't tell the whole story to whoever was asking about me. See, I was indeed there at the mercantile, but as Clayton's wife. Clayton bought my wedding band there." Fingering the warm band of gold, she recalled their bath in the hotel room. Her shyness around him—the sweet way he'd given her the ring.

  That day, too, felt like a lifetime ago.

  "I think he kept your secret safe, but somebody else didn't.From what Merritt gathered, Hank thinks someone in your hotel talked."

  "That may be true. There was a lot of riffraff there."

  "That's why you can't leave our property, Vanessa. What would Clayton do if he found out that something happened to you after he's gone to such great lengths to keep you safe?"

  He'd be devastated. Vanessa knew that as well as she knew that she'd keep writing to Clayton—just in case he looked forward to her letters as much as she wanted him to.

  Suddenly her aching loneliness made her feel petty. "I know I'm being selfish, but still . . . I think he needs me. For all my faults, I can be strong, too."

  Corrine said nothing for a moment, just stared at the ball of bright orange as it hid behind the mountains at last. Through the cracked doorway they could hear Aaron fuss and just as quickly be shushed by Pearl.

  When it was quiet again, Corrine said, "Merritt told me about your agreement with Clayton. The one y'all made at the Willoughby's."

  Vanessa was sure her face glowed with embarrassment. "I didn't know it was common knowledge."

  "Not so common, only among people who care." Leaning back on her hands, she said, "I'm sorry if I'm going to shock you, but here it is. When Merritt came back to my house, all injured, I'm the one who talked about marriage."

  "Really?" Corrine's story didn't help in the slightest. In fact, all it served to do was make it more obvious that Clayton had little desire to see her as anything but a pretend bride— and she was too timid and shy to take matters into her own hands.

  "Yep. From the moment I saw him, I knew we were meant to be together. He was everything I wanted, everything I didn't even know I wanted. One night, when we were sitting together, I proposed."

  In spite of herself, Vanessa forgot her own troubles and focused on Corrine's story. "Then what happened?"

  "He stared at me in shock. Said yes to my proposal, and then finally kissed me."

  Vanessa laughed, completely charmed and amused. "I don't know whether to be scandalized by your behavior or amused at Merritt's reaction."

  "Be both!" Corrine smiled. "Vanessa, I think you're going to have to take some forward steps toward Clayton if you want to see him anytime soon."

  Vanessa feared her sister-in-law was right. Clayton's letters were sweet but distant. Almost like he was holding himself away, letting more than miles separate them.

  Bravely, she admitted the awful truth. "Sometimes, I think he's not intending to return at all. Sometimes, I think Clayton has moved on." She swallowed. "The idea of being forgotten scares me."

  Corrine looked pained. "Oh, Van. Give him more time.If you don't hear anything promising, and we don't hear any news about Price, perhaps you should go to him after all."

  "I'd rather do that than just wait here, wondering what he's doing and hoping Price doesn't find out where I am."

  Corrine agreed. "There's a time for patience and a time for action. If you decide to go in a month, I'll even help you pack.Sometimes a woman has to do what she can to make her marriage successful."

  Just then Aaron started crying in earnest and Pearl called for Corrine. As Vanessa watched Corrine run back inside, she finally felt more at peace.

  As the sky turned dark, Vanessa knew, deep in her heart, that her time of being patient had almost reached its conclusion.She hadn't run from Price and followed Clayton across the country merely to wait for him and write. She'd gone to follow her dreams.

  And her dream was to be his partner, his helpmate. His wife. As she recalled Corrine's proposal, Vanessa knew the time had come for her to brave the uncertainties of life and begin taking her future in her own hands.

  It was truly amazing how God worked, Vanessa thought one week later as she held the hastily scrawled message from the telegraph office. Merritt had just delivered the note to her with a shaky hand. "The news . . . it's bad," he said, his voice thick with worry. "I'm sorry, Vanessa."

  Tears swam in her eyes, and she was unable to do anything but grip the paper and hold the folded ends shut.

  "We'll get through this together," Corrine said with a tremulous smile. "I promise, you won't ever be alone."

  Vanessa knew that to be true. So far, God had blessed her with Merritt and Corrine and their children. He'd blessed her when she read the Bible every night, reminding her of so many men and women who had gone through far harder things than she was going through and had come out of their circumstances better people.

  Blinking away tears, Vanessa let Merritt guide her to a chair and tried to remember to breathe as she read and reread the short missive.

  Sheriff Proffitt shot. Recuperating at Tall Oaks Inn. Situation dire. Your assistance needed. Doctor Tom Bodey. Benson, Nebraska.

  "Situation dire?" Corrine gripped her hand. "Oh, Clayton."

  Vanessa felt pain pierce her heart as shock and tears came tumbling forward. But still, she felt hope. Turning to Merritt, she asked, "What does this mean?"

  "I'm not sure."

  She had to ask—and she had to trust her brother-in-law to give her the truth. "Is he dead? Do you think he already could he be dead?"

  "Not . . . yet. They would have said so if he was."

  "I knew he shouldn't have taken that job," Corrine said angrily. "I knew it didn't suit him. I knew he'd get hurt and then hurt the rest of us, too. Why couldn't he have just stayed here?"

  Merritt ignored the question, focusing on Vanessa instead."What do you want to do?"

  How could he even ask? "Go."

  He held out a steadying hand. "There's a chance Clayton will already be dead."

  "If . . . if that's the case, then I'll be with his body. Someone needs to be with him, Merritt."

  Corrine clasped her hand. "Traveling can be difficult for a woman. Merritt will need to go with you." She looked to her husband for agreement.

  Merritt nodded. "That's a fine idea.""No," Vanessa said. "You've got a new baby, plus two other children who need you. I can travel on my own." Standing up quickly, she added, "I'll go pack my carpetbag right now." She stood up only to be pushed back into the chair as the room spun and bright dots flashed before her eyes. "Oh!"

  Corrine pushed her head to her knees. "Breathe."

  Though the position helped her dizziness, it made it even more difficult to catch her breath. Slowly, she sat up. "I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me."

  "Worry, that's what did," Corrine said.

  Worry wouldn't solve anything. She shook her head to clear it. "I'm better now."

  "Not so fast. Rest easy, Van," Merritt murmured. "We don't want you falling down now."

  Vanessa inhaled and exhaled, consciously feeling the air flow into her body and back out. Once, twice, three times.A sense of calm washed over her. "When is the next stage leaving?"

  "I'm not sure, but I'm coming with you."

  "I need to do this on my own."

  Even Corrine shook her head. "You can't. You need to remember about Price."

  For the last few months, all she had done was worry about Price. Worry about what he'd done to her, worry about him catching her again.

  Worry about whether she and Clayton were right for each other, worry about if they should have married at all. It was time for that to end. "I'm not going to live in fear anymore.I'm not."

  "Vanessa, I promised Clayton I'd keep you safe."

  Oh, men and their promises. Did they really think that they were the only ones who took things seriously? "I made some promises too, you know. I took vows and meant every word. Before God, I promised I'd be with Clayton for better or worse. Through sickness and in health," she countered. "It's time I honored those vows."

  "Good for you," Corrine murmured.

  A trace of a smile played at the corners of Merritt's lips as he assisted her to her feet. With a wink in his wife's direction, he said, "Maybe you aren't so different from Corrine after all.All right then, we best get this show on the road. You go get packed."

  "I'll organize some things for Clayton, Vanessa. I'll roll some bandages and pull out a few fresh shirts."

  Merritt strode to the door. "And I'll go ask José to pack some provisions for your drive to the stage. If you're certain you want to go soon, I'm not going to stand in your way."

  "Good. I would've hated to have had to step over you.Thank you, Merritt." Walking to her room, she smiled, feeling curiously empowered although the very center of her world was in terrible trouble. For the first time since her pa's passing, she felt as if she was going to be of use.

  And she would help Clayton. She'd nurse him back to health and mend his loneliness. She'd convince him that their time apart had been nothing and no one could tear their vows asunder.

  But before she pulled out the carpetbag that had once hung on a hook in Clayton's room in a musty old barn, she knelt at the side of her bed. "Thank you, God," she whispered. "Thank you for bringing us back together. I need Clayton so desperately. Just . . . just please help him hang on until I get there, would you?

  I'm willing to help heal him as best I can, but I'll need your help. In your name, I pray," she finished.

  Yes, "weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning." She was ready for a new morning to come.

  Finally, as she quickly placed her belongings in the carpetbag, she recalled a verse from Psalm 145 that she loved so much. "The Lord is gracious and compassionate. Slow to anger and rich in love."

  She was finally going to see Clayton again.

  Praise God. Praise God in the highest.

  And just to make sure he knew she was serious, she wrote him one last letter.

  Dear Clayton, I'm on my way. Hold on and be strong. I'm praying. You pray too. Nothing can happen to you. Not Now. Not Ever.

  Always yours, Vanessa.

  As soon as she got to town, she was going to do two things.She would post the telegram to Benson and she was going to contact her father's banker in Texas and ask for her money to be transferred to her.

 

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