My Crowning Glory, page 2
“We, no, you need to go to the mall. I always look fly.” Zoe poked out her butt and posed.
We all cracked up. Several women looked at us, as though we disrupted their fun. The volume decreased but we continued to laugh as someone from the will call table handed us several WORLD NATURAL HAIR SHOW bags full of samples and a magazine.
“Dang. They doin it big.” Ebonee leafed through the magazine. “When is the workshop y’all have to go to? I wanna go to the poetry corner and hear some of these artists.”
“I’m with Ebonee, I seen three fine brothas who deserve a chance to get with a real Georgia Peach instead of these sour Atlanta transplants.” Zoe winked at a tall man with a curly afro.
The look on Porsche’s face said let them go. Felt as if we were in middle and high school, again. My shoulders shrugged before I had a chance to stop them. “I’ll go with you, Porsche.”
“Cool, see y’all.” Zoe snatched Ebonee’s elbow and melted into the crowd of people pouring under the marquee.
“Some things never change. The workshop starts in like ten minutes, let’s get a seat.” Porsche shook her head.
“We’re so in sync sometimes it’s freaky. You good with all of this, I know you said Tyren used to model at this show.” I watched Porsche look at the information in the program.
“Girl, please. I’ve been good since his cousin told me about baby momma number four. As fine as he was, swag won’t pay no bills in ten years.” Porsche rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth.
“I hear you. Four?” Dude needed to learn how to strap it before he tapped it. As strong as Porsche wanted to front, I knew how much she loved that knucklehead boy. All the fine in the world couldn’t camouflage his immaturity. “When did he have time to get it in when he was with you every weekend?”
“Um, you know my Daddy didn’t play that late night stuff. I wasn’t about to give up the cookie after what happened to Ebonee with his cousin.” Porsche sniffed. “We looked good together in our prom pictures but those pictures don’t pay bills or buy diapers.”
“Yeah. Crazy comes in cute, these days.” We laughed.
“All shades, colors and builds are prone to pop off on you. Lust makes people do crazy things.” Zoe looked down at the program, and then pointed at a door. “Wow, this chick is a cosmetologist, KeyEssentialsHair.com. I like her outfit. She is cute.”
Not to be in the dark I pulled out my magazine and looked up the information on the workshop. “Key is her name. That is cute. She fly because she went to school for fashion. Man this is gonna be good.”
“They told me to let them know I’m the prize winner. I’ll be right back.” Porsche approached two women setting up product and getting the room ready for the workshop. She waved me over and we sat in two reserved seats in the front row. We took some pictures for someone from the company who sponsored the contest. A slim attractive woman with a cute fro walked to the front of the room.
“Hi, ladies, I’m Key of Key Essentials Hair. I’m so excited to talk with you about transitioning from relaxed to natural hair. I’ve been natural for eight years and have donned everything from locs to my current look with a love for funky weave thrown into the mix. Fashion and beauty are my passions. I believe helping a woman find confidence and beauty within her is not a vocation but a call. I’m blessed to answer that call daily.” Key flashed a charismatic smile. Her outfit offered validation for her words.
I’d never seen a woman make casual chic look so trendy or fly. My fingers typed her website address into the browser on my phone.
“I’m not going to pressure you ladies into giving up what some naturals have started calling the creamy crack.” Key made air quotes as the room filled with laughter. “I’ll just talk about some benefits I’ve seen from working on natural hair. You have several choices. You can big chop which means you’ll cut your relaxed hair off. You can do transition friendly styles like two strand twists, roller sets and other things working with your stylist to make sure your caring for the different textures in your hair to minimize breakage. My suggestion is you continue to see a stylist while you transition to natural.”
Natural stylist? Macon isn’t the backwoods, I love my city and believe we’re as trendy as the next almost sprawling metropolis but I couldn’t recall seeing anyone who did nothing but natural hair. “Creamy crack” had been a part of my hair regimen for long as I could remember. Key’s lips moved and I tried to refocus but I couldn’t. My mother wore a relaxer, her cousins, sisters, friends, all my friends, and cousins. No one I knew back home wore natural hair. Weave, wigs, rainbow colors in a year's time, yes. Natural untreated hair? No.
“One of my clients said she stopped getting relaxers after moving to Atlanta to attend Spelman. Coming from the Midwest and only having to have her hair touched up every three to four months to having her scalp burned every four to six weeks encouraged her to let her hair do what it wanted to do, be a big cloud of springy curls all over her head. Whew. That girl had a lot of hair. I’ve had clients with more but it was a overwhelming for her to get used to taking care of and I enjoyed working with her to teach her how to take care of it.” Key nodded. She smiled as if she was remembering something. “She and other clients have different reasons for going natural, I’m not gonna say everyone has to be natural but I’d like to ask you to consider one thing. How long have you had your hair chemically straightened? What is stopping you from trying something new?”
# # #
“That hair show and that fashion show were wild. I saw about four male models that could get it!” Ebonee laughed.
“You had better hope Michael doesn’t have a hidden camera in his truck.” Porsche mushed the back of Ebonee’s head.
“Girl, please, Michael doesn't own me. He is my man but I’m not blind or dead. He knows Momma holding it down for him. I’m looking forward to thanking him properly after I drop you ladies off.” Ebonee mouthed the words to the hook of Beyonce’s “Best Thing I Never Had.”
“You coulda kept that information to yourself. We could’ve used my CRV.” The thought of having to have sex with Wilson to thank him for anything never skated across my mind.
“Girl, please, this was a celebration for you and I’m always looking for a reason. I like getting it in with my man.” Ebonee cackled.
“You so nasty.” Zoe shook her head. “Crazy and nasty. Not a good combo.”
“I don’t hear you complaining when you riding. You aren't a virgin, Zoe. Don’t look up your nose at me.” Ebonee sniggled.
“How original ... a short joke. Virginity? Where they do that? Just because I’m not giving it up to the highest bidder, doesn’t mean I’m a virgin. The ice queen is next to you.” Zoe nodded toward me.
Ice queen. She had some nerve calling me an ice queen. We all vowed not to have sex until we were married in Sunday school. No one told them to decide to change their mind in high school, or middle school for Ebonee. “Just call me the Last Frigid Mohican.”
“I’d rather call you a blind fool, but I’ll do what you used to tell me to do when I teased you about holding on to your chastity like it was gold ... I’ll stay out of your bedroom.” Zoe chuckled. “All of Macon knows your Daddy is crazy. I’d still be a virgin if my pop was loony as yours, Nisa.”
“Don’t listen to her, Anisa. Zoe just mad she gave it up to Nathan with half the rest of the girls in our sophomore class.” Porsche said.
The headrest blocked me from seeing their faces but I could imagine the death rays streaming toward Porsche from Zoe. A change of topics needed to happen to bring down the tension for the rest of the ride. “So I really enjoyed myself, thanks for taking me, Porsche.”
“Girl, don’t you ever get tired of planting your lips on her butt?” Zoe’s voice dripped with cyanide.
“You mad because you wish it was you?” Porsche chuckled.
“Please I’m out of your network.” Zoe crossed her arms. “My real friends know which team I’m on. You have me confused with your sister.”
“Speaking of leagues, my sister is out of your hemisphere so keep her and her lifestyle out of your mouth or these jokes gone turn serious fast.” Porsche cleared her throat.
“I really liked the hair show. One of those girls had hair almost to her waist. My hair is long now but I’ve been tired of it for a while. The versatility was cool. Twists, curly fros, flat twists I could have a lot of fun if my hair were natural.” Someone popped me in the back of the head.
“Someone must’ve slipped something in your drink.” Zoe laughed. “Wilson ain’t about to be with some chick with nappy hair and won’t give him some. I understand it’s late but you need to quit dreaming. If your parents were any more conservative, they’d be three shades lighter. Macon isn't the backwoods but this isn't Atlanta either, you not gone climb the government or any other ladder looking like Aunt Jemima before the makeover. Stop the madness.”
“What I think Zoe is trying to say in her haterville way is have you thought about how having natural hair could effect everything you’ve been working on since freshman year of high school? So many people want the success you’ve had, don’t let something as unimportant as hair keep you from achieving your goals. That fellowship with FHF could lead to big things, you need to consider that while you waxing romantic about cutting ALL that pretty hair off your head.” Porsche interjected.
“It’s just a thought. Long hair is not a big deal to me, healthy, versatile hair that is what I noticed this weekend. I mentioned the girl with the hair to her waist because it was healthy. Length is not a big deal. I’m just bored and tired of burning my scalp every other month.” I sighed.
“Porsche makes some good points and you know Zoe is touched but she is right. Your Dad is a bit much, Anisa. He will flip out if you walk in the house looking like Macy Gray or even those Mowry twins. Who even knows what your hair texture looks like? Then again, I understand about getting bored with your hair. Weaves and wigs fix that for me.” Ebonee changed the song playing. “Just think about it, Anisa. We have to be the ones looking at you, don’t be selfish.”
We all laughed. Leave it to Ebonee to bring it into perspective.
“Looks are important but they aren’t everything. Black women are the only ones who have to get the consent of the village to make a personal decision. This is my hair and my decision. I’m only considering it, and I’m not talking about finding a barber tomorrow and doing the big chop. No need to panic about looking at my possibly malformed head, I’m just thinking about it.” My heart skipped a beat. Their words only fueled my curiosity.
“I’ll love you no matter how nappy your hair is, Anisa.” Porsche said.
“Dang, now you kissing her butt. Do y’all need some privacy?” Zoe sucked her teeth.
“I apologize, it must be hard to be so close to me and not be able to have me?” Porsche made kissing sounds.
“They have started round two.” Ebonee looked at me. “I’m tired of them arguing. Don’t you have any other revelations to distract them?”
We shared a smile as Zoe and Porsche picked their argument up where it left off before my hair-raising interruption.
# # #
Porsche made sweatpants look stylish. “Now where are we going?” Porsche climbed into the car.
“Atl babee! They’re having a smaller natural hair event about transitioning. I saw it on NaturalSistahs.com. There will be a bunch of people on site talking about their experience.” My stomach did somersaults. No one knew how much the questions the girls raised on the ride home from the WORLD NATURAL HAIR SHOW conflicted me about a decision I’d made sitting in the workshop.
“You're serious about going natural. You HATE driving into Atlanta, at least it’s on the weekend. I hope it isn’t downtown. The traffic is ballistic.” Porsche settled into the passenger seat.
“True but the event is on the eastside, somewhere called Lithonia. Real talk, I’d made my mind up about trying natural hair in the workshop with the fashion cosmetologist, Key, you guys threw me off.” My foot eased off the brake and I reentered traffic.
“Nisa, you don’t have to explain yourself to any of us. That is your mop on the top of your head. We’ll be your girls no matter what, even hatin, Zoe. How your name gone mean love and you just as mean as a spider bite ... anyway. Don’t trip on us girl. What did Wilson and your parents say when you talked to them?” Porsche chewed on her cuticle.
I focused on the road.
“Anisa, tell me you’ve talked to Wilson and your parents about this.” Porsche turned her body toward me. “Don’t punk out. This is fifth grade, again. You have to tell them.”
“You’re right. No, you’re right. I want to be sure I’m going to do this before I mention it to Wilson and especially my parents. Much as I hate to admit it, Zoe is right. Sometimes when my Dad opens his mouth, I expect to see a Republican button on his shirt. He is so old and stuck in his ways, supportive and ancient fashioned.”
“At least he cares about you. He’s strict and old fashioned. But he is there and he loves you. Don’t worry, if you decide to go all Foxy Brown on us he’ll be the president of the cute Anisa fro fan club.” Porsche patted my arm. “I it would be cool. Who knows what we have going on under all these dyes, relaxers, wigs and weaves?”
I laughed. “I’m not doing this to make a political statement, because I think it is trendy or any other reason, I’m just curious to see what it is like to be natural and take a break from relaxer burns. Those things hurt, and that is no lye.”
“I hear you. I’ll be happy even if your hair is nappy.” Porsche smiled.
“You’ll be happy ... that’s a mess. You won’t be the one with half of Macon, giving you crazy looks.” The signal from my car interrupted our discussion as I drove up the ramp to the interstate.
“No, but I’ll be there right beside you ready to go ridedownthere.com on a heffa for a side neck comment or crazy look. We have your back, Anisa. Don’t worry. It’ll make you go gray before your time. Curly afro, cute. Curly afro full of gray hair before you thirty ... not cute.” Porsche mimicked an old woman chewing without teeth in her mouth.
The laughter I released took the edge off my nerves. Despite my confidence to transition or even big chop later, the words from the discussion made me doubt my decision to make such a drastic change to my look. My aspiration to be a community health advocate meant I’d be expected to present a certain image. “You and Ebonee are good for keeping things in perspective. Thanks!”
“Happy to be of service. They have some natural dye to cover up them pearlies I’m sure. Can’t have you looking like my momma or auntie on my wedding day instead of my matron or maid of honor.” Porsche shook her head. Her shoulder jiggled as she laughed.
“This event will help me. I’ve read a few blogs. I found some good reasons health wise to go natural as well but I don’t want to get too deep with all of this, my curiosity was piqued when Key talked about the transition process and was really up when I saw the versatility of the styles. All those women looked so confident and happy. Gonna have to have more than that when I talk to Wilson and my parents.” I changed lanes.
“They will love you no matter what you do. Your hairstyle is your choice. They’ll be all right. Your momma looks like she used to rock a mean fro back in the seventies. Don’t worry about this, just do it for you. That is what is most important. How you wear your hair, is your decision. No one else’s opinion matters. Not mine, not Ebonee, Zoe, your parents and especially not Wilson. He’ll be happier if you go natural than if you wear wigs or weave. His bougie self.” Porsche chuckled. “I still remember that day Ebonee almost punched him in the face for saying he had to run his fingers through his girl’s hair.”
The memory rolled through my mind. “Right, and when he started joning on Ebonee ... you tried to make peace. You were wearing braids so he started talking about your hair.”
“Who would’ve thought Zoe of all people would come to my defense and check him on the fact he wasn’t running his hands through your hair because Mr. Links would be running his foot or his shot gun... ” Porsche doubled over in laughter.
“Yeah, Zoe shocked me that day too. She is jagged around the edges but don’t talk about her people. I think she believes that is her job. No one says our men have to get along with the crew or each other.” Not being able to bring Wilson to date night with the crew bothered me, I just refused to admit that to them. They would just encourage me to dump him. They underestimated the work and frustration involved in finding a good man willing to wait.
“Jagged ... sharp as razors around the edges is more accurate. I love her, though. And she loves you, we all do. The ones, who are for you, won’t care what you do with your hair. Just don’t turn into one of those natural hair crusaders. Black women have trouble enough coming together. We don’t need another thing to pop drama.” Porsche gave me the side eye.
“Girl please, I’m trying to be a community health advocate, not a natural hair ambassador. If I do this, it will be for me and me alone.”
Chapter 3
My eyes popped open ten minutes before my alarm buzzed. Meeting Janie Collins kept my stomach in knots all night. The fellowship selection letter waited for me when I returned home from Lithonia. The first point of business for me would be to make sure my stylist is on board and trained to care for my hair while transitioning to natural. Porsche almost believed the brave front I put up on the ride to Lithonia.
Listening to the women at the event relaxed me enough to decide. Telling my parents and Wilson seemed the only thing left before I could start my “natural journey.” A fit of laughter overtook me for about five minutes as I imagined how my Dad would react. Straight-laced Mr. Links walking down the street with his two strands twisted or twist out pulled into a mohawk haired daughter. Images of the women from church launched me into a full belly laugh.
No one in our small community rocked the boat much. The elders and deacons staged a quasi-intervention when one of their sons who played music for the church decided to dye his hair brown on the tips. He didn’t last more than two months before he shaved his hair off. A gig in Nashville opened, he moved.
