Hidden Ascent (Hidden Alliance Book 2), page 10
“I knew it. You’re never going to get past the things I’ve done. To you, I will always be an outlaw incapable of good, no matter what God has done for me. You may as well damn me to hell.”
“That’s not true.” The volume of her retort didn’t reflect how she actually felt. His words had knocked the wind out of her. She could deny it all she wanted, but everything he said was right. She did believe his motives couldn’t be driven by good. She thought it made things easier to believe a man like him would never change. Especially when he was beginning to break through her defenses.
“I’m not proud of the things I’ve done over the years.” He shifted on his feet and kept his eyes on the ground. “But the best thing I ever did was when I nearly drowned in the ocean the other night. Giving my life to God, even though I still don’t fully understand what happened, was the most important thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. Now, I’m trying my best to do things His way.”
“You’ve been a Christian for like five minutes,” she mumbled, then winced. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean it like that.”
“You keep saying that. One more time, and I won’t believe you anymore.”
His sarcasm bit deep.
“What I’m trying to say is, it’s not you. It’s me.”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“You’re making jokes now? I thought you hated me.”
“I don’t hate you. I’m frustrated because you have this tendency to use my past to keep me at arm’s length, and it’s irritating.”
“That’s just it. I’m not good at letting people close. It’s the way it is.”
“It doesn’t have to be. Aren’t you close to Peter and Jemi?”
“That’s different.”
“Why?”
“Because it is. Can we change the subject, please?”
“Okay. What would you like to talk about?”
“How about what we’re doing here in this parking garage?”
“No idea.”
“How can you have no idea? You’re the one who brought us here.”
“No, I didn’t. God did.”
“God?”
“Yeah.”
She huffed. “There you go again. You talk about God like He’s not only transformed your life but like He’s here now, with you, leading you in the way you should go.”
“That’s what’s bothering you right now? Am I doing it wrong? I mean, I could be. I have no idea how you’re supposed to talk to Him.”
“Not like that. That’s not how it works.”
“That’s a bit odd, then.”
“Why?”
“For one thing, that’s exactly how Peter explained it to me, and after God saved me from my little swim, it made sense.”
“But that’s what I mean. You barely know God. Besides almost drowning, what else has God done for you?”
He smiled and spread his arms. “How about this?”
“Running to a parking garage was not God’s idea.”
“It must have been. I’ve never been here before.”
“That’s your evidence? You sure you didn’t come up with this as a good hiding place because it actually is?”
“I’m the baby Christian, and you need me to explain it to you?”
She crossed her arms. “I guess so.”
“God led me to wait at the police station.”
“You wouldn’t need God for that. If you wanted to help me, it was the right place to start.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you going to let me talk?”
“All right. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“I kind of don’t want to tell you now.”
“Seriously?”
He grinned. “When we went into that basement, I had no idea where we were. You said no one could have followed us through that maze. You were right. God led me the whole way. Each step I had to trust Him. Especially in the dark.”
“That’s not true. It can’t be.”
“Why not?”
“You had to know where we were going. Maybe you don’t remember being there, but you knew the way.”
“I didn’t. I’m sorry that you think I’m such a bad guy that God wouldn’t want to do that for me.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“I told you if you said that one more time, I wouldn’t believe you anymore.”
She grunted and kicked a pillar. “I’m not good at this.”
“What? Apologizing for being judgmental?”
“No.” She faced him. “I’m not good at being vulnerable.” Her mouth snapped shut. That’s what happened when you got emotional. You said and did things you never meant to.
Jay stepped up to her so he was standing so close it was hard to breathe.
“What about this makes you vulnerable?” he said, tipping his head to the side.
He wasn’t touching her, but he may as well have been. She had to step back to catch her breath. “You want to know the truth?”
“It’s a good place to start.”
“I’ve been a Christian for a long time. Since I was a kid. You’ve been doing this for a few days, and you already have—”
She was surprised at the tears that pushed into her eyes. She squeezed them closed before she continued.
“Sorry. I told you I’m not good at this.”
“You’re doing just fine. What is it you think I have that you don’t?”
“I trust God, but He’s always been far away from me. My whole life, I’ve explained it away by making excuses about Him being too busy with more important things. But deep down, I wonder. Peter talks about letting God get close, but I’ve never been able to.”
“You think Peter’s not telling you the truth?”
“I look up to Peter and Jemi. They’re heroes of the faith, so it makes sense that God would be close to them.”
“But not me.”
“Not because of your past but because you’re new. If God is close to Peter and he’s close to you, then where does that leave me?”
“Isla, I’m probably not the best person to explain how God works, but one thing should be clear to you. God used me to save your life. I’m pretty sure that makes you the focus of this little jaunt through the city, not me.”
“Then why didn’t He tell me how to get away to safety?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you’re not a good listener.”
She laughed. “That can’t be it.”
“Seriously though, if you don’t expect Him to speak to you, then that would make it hard to hear when He does. Or maybe He wants you to know you can trust me.”
“I—” She did trust him, despite her best efforts. And she knew it wasn’t fair to him for her to try so hard to see him through the eyes of his past. It might keep her safe from him, but that didn’t make it right. “I’m sorry.”
“For which thing?”
“Hey, I’m trying to be serious here.”
“I accept your apology.”
“And I do trust you. Thank you for coming back for me.”
“I never left. And I won’t. You can count on me to be in this thing until the end.”
And then what? “All right. So, do you have a car stashed around here?”
“Nope. I didn’t know we were coming here, remember?”
“But God knew.”
“Listen to you.”
“I’m trying.”
“Well, you are a federal agent. You could commandeer one of these vehicles, couldn’t you?”
“Do you know how much paperwork that would require? We’ll just get an Uber.”
“Suit yourself. But that Corvette over there is calling my name.”
She scrunched her nose. “Really? You’re a Corvette guy?”
“What’s wrong with a Corvette?”
“They’re pointy.”
“I see. You’re a Mustang kind of girl, aren’t you?”
“When I was a little girl, my dad had a 1978 T Top Pontiac Firebird Trans Am.”
“Trans Am, huh? What color?”
“Black, of course. He would take me through the McDonald’s drive-thru to get a soft serve cone.”
“Sounds like a great dad.”
“Not really. That’s the only good memory I have of him.”
“Oh.”
“He didn’t abuse me or anything. He was just never there.”
“Is he still alive?”
“No idea. The day he left us for good was the last I heard from him. He called my mom a couple of times for money, but when she didn’t give him any, he had no more interest in us.”
“You ever think of trying to find him?”
“Why?”
“Never mind.”
“Did you know your dad?”
“No. He died in a construction accident when I was a baby.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s life, though, isn’t it? My mom worked three jobs, and I found a family for myself on the street. In case you were wondering how I got mixed up in a life of crime.”
“I wasn’t.”
Chapter 13
Isla sucked up the dregs of the vanilla milkshake she’d gotten before they’d arrived back at Peter’s. She was lounging on the couch in sweatpants and a baggy shirt, and Jay thought she couldn’t get any more adorable. If circumstances had been different, he wouldn’t be sitting in a chair across the room.
“Do you really have to do that?” he said after an extended slurp.
“I’m almost done.”
“Almost? From the sounds of it, there isn’t anything left in that cup. All you’re doing is removing any remnant of moisture from the cardboard.”
“I’m not wasting a drop. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a milkshake?”
“That’s what you said when you bought it. I’m surprised you didn’t go for soft serve.”
“I haven’t had one since my dad.”
“So, the attorney general helped you escape from jail,” Peter said as he entered the living room. “Mission accomplished. Even if things didn’t turn out how you expected. You’ve at least gained Whitlock’s trust.”
“I sure hope so,” Isla said, setting her empty cup on the floor.
“I think we’ve moved past hope,” Jay said. “Whitlock isn’t a part of the conspiracy, and he’s on our side.”
“But it doesn’t bring us any closer to getting answers,” Isla said. “And I don’t want to risk contacting him until everything settles down. The last thing I want to do is get him in trouble. Or worse, get him killed. Baker will try to find out how I got set free from the police station.”
“I don’t think he’d make a move as big as killing him. That would draw too much attention. He’ll wait to see how things pan out.”
“Unfortunately, we don’t have time to do the same. If we’re going to bring these guys down, we need to find names and evidence now. My team was murdered to hide something. Now that I’m free, they’ll do what they need to in order to protect themselves.”
“One thing we know is there’s no one left in the DEA to get information from,” Jay said. “Tell me about the members of your team. How were they chosen?”
“The team itself was already put together. Hugo, the team leader, stumbled across some intel. When he brought it to Fogarty, Fogarty immediately brought Baker in. We were told it was a matter of national security, so we didn’t question his involvement. And we were told that keeping it confidential was of the utmost importance. So we spoke to no one else. That’s when Baker began putting together the operation. He set us up.” Isla’s shoulders slumped. “And Fogarty went along with it.”
“So Baker was sent in to fix it.”
Jay looked at her, but when they made eye contact, she looked at the fire.
“Isla, I hope you know I would never be a part of something like that. I know I said I get hired to fix things. But not things like that.”
“I know you wouldn’t do anything like that now.”
“Not now. Not ever. That’s not what I used to do. That’s not who I’ve ever been.”
She nodded but continued staring into the fire. “All we have is dead ends.”
“Not necessarily. We won’t get anywhere with Baker, but tell me more about this operation. Who was it you guys were after? What was the intel?”
“It doesn’t matter. Baker would have already destroyed the file.”
“I’m sure he has, but maybe we can come in from the other side.”
“What do you mean?”
“Whoever it was you were after, they’re connected to federal agents.”
“And you think they’ll tell us if we ask nicely?”
“I don’t know. You haven’t told me who they are yet.”
“Not that it makes any difference, but they’re a group working out of the docks. They’ve been known to police for years, but Hugo had an informant that told him they’d recently stepped up their game. That got our attention.”
“Why?”
“They’ve always been into small stuff. Small drug arrests. A few weapons charges. Then they came under new leadership, and things changed. They began bringing in and cutting the drugs, then selling them. No middle men. Their product was cheaper, but we suspected there was more going on because deaths from drug overdoses have increased in the area.”
“And you think it’s their product that’s responsible?”
“That’s what we found out, yes.”
“Can you remember the name of the leader of the group?”
“A man named John Sharpe.”
“Sharpe?”
“You know him?” Peter said.
“I know of him. He’s a businessman. He tried to hire me once. I turned him down.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t do what he wanted me to do. He’s a dangerous man, but I wouldn’t expect him to lead a gang. Are you sure?”
“Positive,” Isla said. “Maybe he’s diversifying his portfolio.”
“You may be kidding, but you’re probably not far off. What gang is he leading?”
“They call themselves the Red Wolves.”
Jay stiffened. “The Red Wolves did this?”
“You know them too?”
He stood and walked to the fire. “I know the man who used to lead them.”
“You did work for him?”
“Yes. But I also considered him a friend.”
“A drug dealer is your friend?”
“That’s not—forget it. Murdering an entire unit of federal agents would have never happened under his command.”
“This friend of yours, do you think we could talk to him?”
“He’s not a part of this. He’s running a bar downtown now. Sharpe’s the one who ordered it.”
“But he knows the guys in the gang. If he’s still connected to any of them, he might offer us a way in.”
“I doubt it. He’s not a big fan of the feds.”
“I wouldn’t expect him to be, but I take it he doesn’t approve of what the Red Wolves did to my team?”
“It wouldn’t affect his sleep at night, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Please, Jay. He’s our only lead. Can you at least ask?”
“I can ask.”
“Great.” She stared at him for a second. “You need to borrow my phone?”
“I don’t have his number.”
“Then how’re you going to ask?”
“I thought I’d pay him a visit.”
“Even better. We can go to his bar tomorrow.”
“No. There’s no we. I told you, he’s not a fan.”
Isla looked at Peter. “Are you going to back me up here?”
“You guys are handling everything very well. I’d prefer to stay out of it if I can. I’m just glad you’re both here alive and well. What you do next is up to you.”
“Come on, Jay. I won’t bring my badge. I can be there as your plus one. He doesn’t have to know I’m a fed.”
Jay’s laugh made Isla scowl. “My plus one?” he said. “Are you kidding?”
“What’s so funny?”
“Have you already forgotten the fundraiser? I thought maybe you were exaggerating about your lack of skill, but I’ve seen it with my own eyes. You are terrible undercover.”
“I’ll keep my mouth shut. And I don’t need to pretend. I can be myself. When I go home, I’m not an agent. I’m Isla Taylor.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’ve gotta side with Jay on this one,” Peter said. “Even when you’re at ease, you don’t have the air of a civilian.”
Isla looked down at herself and held her arms out. “You’re saying I look like a federal agent in this?”
“You would wear that?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
“No. He’ll want to know why you’re there.”
“You can’t come up with a good cover story?”
“To explain you? No.”
She glared at him. “This is very unfair.”
“Isla, you can’t tag along into the lion’s den without a good reason. If you want this to work, you’re going to have to trust me.”
“Fine.”
“Really? That was easier than expected.”
“I can be reasonable. We’ll fix you up with a wire, and I can monitor you from outside.”
Jay looked at Peter, who smirked.
“What?” Isla said. “Why is this so difficult for you two?”
“I can’t wear a wire. That’s the first thing he’ll check.”
“I thought you said he’s a friend. I don’t have any friends who check me for a wire.”
“I haven’t seen him in a while, and he’s always been a cautious man. If you want me to ask him about contacts within the Red Wolves, he’s going to be suspicious.”
“Then what do you suggest?”
“I’ll go in and talk to him and let you know what he says.”
“No.”
“Then you can forget it.”
“Why are you being so hardline on this?”
“Because, despite what you think, there are times when you don’t know best.”
Her mouth opened and closed. She looked at Peter, but he was looking at the floor.
“Okay, we’ll do it your way. But I’m driving there with you.”
