Part of me wanted to prove something. Prove that Joe found me attractive, I guess, and before I could over think exactly what I was doing, I leaned over and kissed him full on the lips. At first it was like I was kissing a hunk of plywood and I almost gave it up as a lost cause, but then Joe grabbed my forearms, holding me there, and with a barely audible groan, he kissed me fiercely. We kissed and kissed, our teeth clacking together, our tongues intertwining, frantically, hardly coming up for air. It was like my whole life was about that moment and I couldn’t get enough of Joe.

  Somehow I ended up lying on my back on the couch with Joe on top of me, devouring my lips with his. I started tugging at his T-shirt, wanting it off him, wanting to feel his skin. He straightened up just enough to yank it off and up to his neck, and there it stayed for a while, as we were both reluctant to break the contact of our mouths.

  I touched him everywhere, ran my hands across his abs, his pecs, down his back, I wanted to know every inch of him. But we still had too many clothes on. I wanted his dick to pound my ass, which wasn’t going to happen if we didn’t take at least a short break from the kissing. As soon as I tore my mouth away from his, Joe pulled his shirt off over his head.

  Our fingers met as we both reached for the hem of my shirt. It got tossed across the room. Joe muttered something about a lubed condom in the wallet he tossed onto my bare stomach as he stood to remove his jeans. I fetched the condom packet and he took it from my outstretched hand as he stepped out of his jeans and boxers. I unfastened my jeans and shimmied out of them and my briefs, kicking them down to the other end of the couch.

  I barely caught a glimpse of Joe’s large, hard cock before he was lying on me again, kissing me like he meant it all over again. We just continued to kiss for what seemed forever yet not long enough even as our hands explored any part of each other we could reach. It was like every dream I’d ever had of being with Joe coming true. I was high on being with him. I pushed my hand between our bodies and closed it around his stiff dick, it felt like velvet steel.

  “Please,” I pleaded against his mouth.

  He straightened away from me and tore open the condom, rolling it over his erection. I watched mesmerized. Then he spit on his fingers, and lifting my legs, pushed too blunt fingers inside my hole. I slipped my hand to my own dick and closed my fist around the head, jerking myself. Joe took his fingers out of me and then put his cock to my entrance and pushed in. I gasped at the stretch as he made his way past the tight ring of muscle. I’d been fantasizing about this since high school, had never dreamed it would actually happen, and I almost shot right then. I closed my eyes, turned off my mind, and let my hot, flushed body feel the incredible pounding in my ass while I fisted my dick in fast, rough jerks.

  Joe rode me good and deep, the sounds of his balls slapping as he took me loud in the otherwise quiet apartment. It could have lasted forever as far as I was concerned, but my dick had other plans and my nerves lit up like I’d been shocked as I came all over my fingers and stomach. I was yelling his name as pale white cum splattered everywhere. He tensed above me and then furiously rammed me several more times before yelling hoarsely. At some point we shifted and disconnected and then Joe collapsed on me and we both dozed off. It wasn’t until I woke a few hours later that I had a moment of remorseful panic.

  Chapter 3

  When I blinked my eyes open, Joe no longer lay on me on the couch. I wiped my hand over my face and sat up. No Joe in the immediate room. As I stood, I winced from the sting in my ass from not enough lube and a rough fuck. I found my clothes and got dressed and then headed toward the bathroom and realized the shower was running.

  What the hell had I done? I felt like the biggest fucking jerk on the planet. Joe had just broken up with Jeff and I was all over him. At a time when he was obviously vulnerable. For all I knew, it had only been a fight and Jeff would come back begging for forgiveness and I might have ruined everything for Joe because I couldn’t get over wanting him.

  I still wanted him. So bad my chest ached from the wanting. I tapped on the bathroom door. “Hey Joe? I’m going to take off.”

  “What?” And then the water was turned off. So much for slipping out like a coward. The bathroom door opened and Joe stood there dripping wet with just a towel wrapped around his waist. “What did you say?”

  Swallowing the heavy lump in my throat, I said, “Look, I, uh, I owe you an apology.”

  He frowned. “For what?”

  “This.” I gestured wildly. “I’m sorry. I never should have…you just broke up with your boyfriend and here I am some dumbass horny idiot taking advantage of that. It wasn’t right.”

  “Avery…”

  “So, um, I am going to go. Like I should have before I threw myself at you.” He was just staring at me with that intensity he has. He didn’t have much of an expression so I couldn’t even tell what he was thinking. “Can we just forget it happened and just be friends?”

  Joe nodded. “Sure, Avery. We can be friends.”

  I smiled, relieved. “Okay. Good. Okay. I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have to keep saying that. I’m a big boy, Avery. I knew what I was doing. See you at the diner tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, see you.”

  And I left his apartment. Feeling so many conflicting things but mostly feeling like I’d lost some opportunity. I’d blown it somehow with my own stupidity.

  Back at my car, I glanced at my cell phone and saw that I had several missed calls from my mother and one voice mail. I listened. Dad had a heart attack.

  * * * *

  “Hey, Mom, can I get you some tea or something?” I asked rather helplessly as she sat on the couch the day after my father’s funeral. She had been looking at old photo albums of their life together ever since we’d come home from the hospital without him.

  “No, thank you, dear,” she said, never taking her eyes off the photos.

  With Dad gone, Mom had even less money so I quit my job at the diner and went to work at an auto insurance company. It paid more than the diner did and I even got benefits. I hadn’t gone back to school either though I hoped to at least take some night classes next fall.

  Eventually, Mom got a part time job as a receptionist at a doctor’s office and she started making some friends. We both still missed Dad, but we were getting on all right.

  I hadn’t seen Joe since leaving his apartment after having sex and I knew just what a fucking asshole I was for that. I think there was something in me that wanted to sabotage any sort of relationship with Joe. I’d told him once I couldn’t be friends with Brett after being with him, and I guess the truth was I felt the same way about Joe. I had owed some sort of explanation to Joe about leaving the diner and not contacting him, but I couldn’t bring myself to go and see him.

  At least not at first. Dad had been gone four months before I made my way to the diner. I’d seen Hank at Dad’s funeral, but not since. So I showed up there one day right after what would usually have been the lunch rush. I found Hank in the kitchen, as usual.

  “Avery!” Hank hugged him. “Let’s go to my office. Be back in a minute, Louie.”

  I followed him down the short hallway to his small closet-sized office.

  “You want your job back?” he asked hopefully.

  “No. Not now anyway.”

  “Okay, but I’ll keep the option open-ended.

  I got choked up for a moment. Hank had always been good to me.

  “I’m sorry I left you high and dry.”

  “Nah.” He sat on the edge of his desk. “I’m sorry about your old man. I should have come by to see your mom. How is she doing?”

  “She’s doing better, but she thinks about Dad a lot.” I thought about it. “So do I.”

  “What brings you here today?”

  I should have been here to check on Hank, actually, and I felt guilty I hadn’t, but I’d been guilty of fucking up a lot lately.

  “How’s Joe? Not working today?”

  Hank chewed his lip for a moment, then said, “Joe quit about a month ago, Avery.”

  My stomach sunk. “He—he did?”

  “Yep. Said he was moving up north.”

  “Moving?”

  “Yep.” Hank shook his head. “Said something about tired of waiting around for his dreams to come true when they never would. No idea what that meant. But I’m guessing he’s gone, Avery. I didn’t know you two were that close.”

  Considering how we’d spent our last day together what Hank said almost made me laugh. If I wasn’t so pathetic. Joe was gone and I had no one to blame but myself. And I had no idea where he even went other than a vague up north.

  “Nah, we weren’t. Thanks for your time, Hank. See you around?”

  “Sure thing. Stop by any time. Always good to see you, Avery.”

  So I went about the business of living, trying not to think about blown chances and Joe. If I’d ever really had any chance at all with him. He hadn’t said much that last day. Maybe he’d been glad to be rid of me, but still, I was haunted by those kisses.

  It was probably six months later when Hank asked me to come back to the diner again to talk. He’d been thinking he needed a partner in the diner and wanted to talk to me about it.

  “I don’t know anything about running a diner,” I protested. We were sitting having coffee while Hank was on a break.

  “You know about the serving side of things. I do the cooking and the books now. You’ve been taking some night courses, haven’t you? You can take some business management courses.”

  “Yes but, Hank, I don’t have any money to invest.”

  He waved that aside. “We can work that out as you’re working on learning the business side of things.”

  “Hank.”

  “Look, Avery, I don’t have any kids. You’re the closest I have to one.”

  I stared at him, stunned, tears springing to my eyes. I opened my mouth to say something but all that came out was a squeak.

  He waved his hand. “I know. I want you to have the diner when…well, when it’s all over. I know that’s not what you wanted for your future, but well, I’m hoping maybe you’ll change your mind when you come back to the diner. If you don’t then it will be your place to sell when the time comes.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” I said, my throat raw. I covered his hand, which rested on the table between us, with mine.

  “Just say you’ll give it a chance. Come on, kid. We can do this, you and me. I’m getting too old to do this by myself.”

  “Okay, Hank, I’m in.”

  Chapter 4

  It was a couple of months after working at the diner with Hank when I saw Joe’s ex. I’d given up my job at the auto insurance company and had enrolled in some business courses as Hank had suggested, but most of my days and some of my nights were spent at the diner learning what it was like to be a business owner. I hadn’t been on a date for longer than I could remember. Not even a one-night hook up. I was exhausted most days and just fell into bed.

  So when I went out to my car for my jacket during a lull in the afternoon crowd, I looked twice at the blond hottie who was heading toward the doors of the diner. There was something vaguely familiar about him but I couldn’t really place him.

  He stopped and frowned at me. “You still work here?”

  I frowned. “Do I know you?”

  “Avery, right?”

  “Yes.”

  He shook his head. “Joe’s boyfriend, Jeff. Or I was. I guess you are now.”

  I blinked and stared, shook my head. “Joe and me? No way.”

  Jeff’s jaw dropped. “Seriously? You aren’t with Joe?”

  “Why would I be?” I hugged myself, feeling the fall chill in the air.

  He snorted. “You’re the reason Joe and I broke up.”

  “What? No. Joe said you told him you weren’t ready to play house.”

  “Well, that was part of it, yeah,” Jeff admitted. “But I might have tried harder if it wasn’t for you.”

  “Me? I don’t get it. Joe and I didn’t have anything going on.”

  Not then anyway. Jeff stared at me. His expression told me I was an idiot or pathetic. Or a pathetic idiot.

  “He never stopped talking about you. It’s always been you, Avery. He’s been hung up on you since high school.”

  I shook my head in denial. “No. It’s not true.”

  “It is true,” he insisted. “No one was as good as Avery. Certainly not me. I figured he’d finally get together with you after we broke up.”

  And we had. Sort of. But I’d thought it was a rebound thing. Now that I thought about it, though, I’d done most of the talking when it was over. Joe hadn’t had much to say. But he hadn’t tried to stop me either.

  “Said something about tired of waiting around for his dreams to come true when they never would.”

  Hank’s words of a couple of months earlier came to mind and I wondered if there was some deeper meaning I had been missing all this time.

  But I couldn’t have missed Joe being interested in me, could I? Our kisses. I had thought they were fueled by my own desperation, but maybe it had been more mutual than I had ever guessed.

  “I don’t even know where Joe is,” I said. “He moved away.”

  Jeff shook his head, clearly bemused. “Okay. Well, I guess, sorry, man. I shouldn’t have said anything. Well, I’m meeting someone inside. See you, Avery.”

  He went inside the diner and I stood there feeling like some kind of fool.

  * * * *

  “This is weird,” I told Mom as she straightened my bow tie.

  She smiled. “Why is it so weird?”

  I shrugged. “Because you and Dad. Well, you were always together.”

  “I know, honey. But Dad’s gone.” She looked sad again and I was sorry I had said anything to spoil this.

  “It’s just strange seeing you with another man, I guess.”

  She straightened the lapels of my coat. “Hank and I have been dating for six months. We’ve been friends for a lot longer than that.”

  Exhaling, I nodded. “I know. And there’s no one better than Hank. I was thrilled when you two started dating.”

  “But getting married is different, huh?”

  I scowled. “Hell, yeah.”

  She laughed and kissed my cheek. “I thought you’d be happy to have the house to yourself now.”

  My lips twitched. “Well, there is that.”

  “It’ll be fine, Avery. Maybe you can find a man of your own now.”

  I thought instantly of Joe. Wondered what he was doing, where he was, who he was with. It wasn’t me. That was the worst of it. Never would be with me again. I offered Mom my arm so I could escort her to her wedding to Hank.

  “Ready?”

  Her smile was radiant and I was glad for her. “Ready.”

  After the wedding, the reception was held at the Elks Lodge. Hank was a member there. I danced a few dances with my mom and some of her friends. I stood at the side by the bar, sipping fizzy water, when Hank came up beside me and clapped me on the shoulder.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  I forced a smile, trying to push away the loneliness. “Yeah, I’m fine. Mom looks happy. Thanks to you.”

  “She makes me pretty happy. And so does her son.”

  The tears that sprung to my eyes surprised me with their swiftness. Unexpectedly, Hank pulled me into a big, bear hug. I hugged him back tightly, my throat clogged.

  “Why don’t you go home, Avery? You’ve put in enough of an appearance.”

  I was exhausted. Physically and emotionally. I gave him a grateful smile. “I’ll go say goodbye to Mom.”

  “Can you stop by the diner on your way and drop off those extra cups? We didn’t need them after all,” Hank said, pointing to the box of Styrofoam cups.

  “Will do.”

  Thinking of their honeymoon to San Diego they’d be leaving for in the morning, I said, “Have a safe trip.”

  The diner had been closed for the occasion, so as I pulled my car into the parking lot, I was surprised to see a car there. I parked and got out just as the door of the other car, a few spaces away from mine, opened.

  Just as I thought maybe I should be worried, I recognized the man getting out from the driver’s side. My heart nearly stopped. “Joe?”

  “Hi, Avery.” He smiled a little, showing his dimples.

  He walked around the car and stopped, standing there in the diner parking lot looking better than any man had a right to look. Tight fitting jeans, a blue buttoned-down shirt. His blond hair was longer now; it even covered his ears, though it didn’t quite reach his chin.

  “How?”

  “Hank. He told me he’d send you here.”

  I stopped standing there like a dummy and I went to him, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him with everything I’d held in check all this time.

  Maybe since high school.

  His arms came around me, pulling me closer as his lips devoured mine. Finally I came up for air, but I didn’t stop holding on to him. I didn’t think I’d ever stop.

  “I can’t believe you’re here. I’m not dreaming you.”

  “No,” he said, framing my face with his hands. “Don’t you think it’s more than past time we figured this out?”

  “This?”

  “Us. Jesus, Avery, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as beautiful as you.”

  He kissed me fiercely, stealing my breath, but I didn’t mind. It was hard to mind anything just then.

  “Do you think maybe we can go somewhere to figure us out more privately?” I batted my lashes, attempting coyness, but hell, I’d never been good at coy.

  Joe nodded. “I think that’s a really good idea. Why don’t you drive us over to your place?”

  Reluctantly, I released him, and I almost grabbed him back, still afraid if I broke contact, he’d disappear as though he really was only a dream. But I was being silly, so I got into my car and so did Joe and I drove the short distance to the house I’d grown up in. Joe rested his hand on my leg during the drive, but didn’t distract me with any conversation.

 

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