Love, Lena, page 1
LOVE, LENA
SHAW HART
CONTENTS
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
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About the Author
Series by Shaw Hart
Also by Shaw Hart
Copyright © 2023 by Shaw Hart
www.shawhart.com
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage or retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic, photocopying, mechanical or otherwise, without express permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, story lines and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, events, locales or any events or occurrences are purely coincidental.
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*
He’s my brother’s best friend… and the love of my life.
Lena
I’ve been in love with Beau for as long as I can remember.
He was my first crush, my first fantasy, my first everything.
He’s also my brother’s best friend.
That means that I’ve never been able to work up the nerve to tell him how I felt.
Until now.
Beau
I’ve wanted Lena for as long as I can remember.
She’s starred in every one of my fantasies, which is a problem because my best friend just happens to be her older brother.
Her extremely protective older brother.
I’ve vowed to keep my crush to myself, but when I catch her slipping a love note under my windshield wiper, that changes things.
Now that our feelings are out in the open, I have to make a choice.
Hurt my best friend or the woman of my dreams.
ONE
Lena
“For the love of all that is holy, please tell me that you’re not reading that damn note again,” my best friend, Kerry, groans as she lets herself into our apartment.
“I’m not,” I lie as I stuff the old note back in my pocket.
It’s too late, though. She’s already seen the faded yellow paper.
“Lena,” Kerry groans, falling onto the couch next to me.
“I know,” I sigh, burying my face in my hands.
“Just tell him already. Put all of us out of this misery.”
I lean my head back against the couch and stare up at the ceiling. She’s probably right.
I’ve been in love with Beau Jennings since I was fourteen. There were just two problems.
The first problem was that he was my brother, Charlie’s best friend.
The second problem was that he never gave any indication that he felt the same way.
So, I’ve been hiding this crush on him for years. Though, apparently, I haven’t been very successful at that.
Kerry has been my best friend since kindergarten. She’s obsessed with me over Beau for years. She’s been encouraging me to tell him how I feel for years, but I’ve never been brave enough.
I’m starting to get tired of waiting for him to notice me. It’s getting harder and harder to see him every day and not act on my feelings. We live in the small town of Wolf Valley, which means that we see each other every single day, usually multiple times.
“You need to just tell him how you feel. What’s the worst that can happen?” Kerry asks.
“He could reject me, and then I’ll have to see him all the time, and it will be super awkward. He could tell Charlie, and then things could be weird between my brother and me.”
“Okay, counterpoint. You don’t tell him, and you either both die all alone, or he meets someone else, and you have to see them all of the time and live with that regret.”
My stomach cramps at her words and the thought of Beau being with someone else. I know that she’s right, that I need to finally do something about this crush.
“I just don’t think I’m brave enough to tell him,” I admit, and Kerry nods.
“So, write him a note!” She suggests.
“A note?”
“Yeah, a love note. It’s perfect! You can write it all out, get your feelings out, everything you’ve ever wanted to say to him. Then give it to him to read, and you won’t have to see his face or anything.”
“I guess that could work…”
“It will!” She promises.
I chew on my bottom lip as I think over her idea. Her words make sense, but it just seems scary to try. All I can think about is all of the ways that this could go wrong.
Maybe it’s the crazy heat wave we’re going through, or maybe I’m just feeling brave enough tonight, but I’m starting to like Kerry’s plan more and more.
“Come on, Lena. Aren’t you tired of waiting for him to make a move? Write him a note, tell him how you feel, then you’ll know once and for all if he’s your happily ever after or if you need to move on and try to find someone else.”
“Okay,” I whisper, and she sits up straighter.
“Okay?” She asks excitedly.
“Yeah, I’ll do it. You’re right; it’s time for me to make a move and get on with life.”
“Want help writing it?”
“No thanks.”
She nods, patting my thigh as she stands.
“Alright, then I’m going to go take a shower and then get started on dinner.”
She heads back to the bathroom, and I grab my laptop, gnawing on my bottom lip as I start to type.
Dear Beau,
I pause, pulling out the note he gave with my eighteenth birthday present out of my pocket and rereading the well-known words.
Lena,
Happy birthday to the best girl I know!
Love,
Beau
I know it’s a simple letter, but it meant the world to me. It wasn’t the first note he had ever given me, but it was the first time he had written Love, Beau.
I’ve read over those words a million times in the last four years. I used to daydream that he would come in and sweep me off my feet. He’d tell me that he had loved me for years, too, and then we would be together forever.
Sadly, that never happened. Maybe it will happen now, though…
Dear Beau,
I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while.
I love you.
I think you’re the most handsome, sweetest, funniest man I’ve ever met.
You’re all that I dream about. You’re all that I want.
I can’t stop thinking about you, and I thought that it was time for you to know.
Love,
Your Secret Admirer
I finish typing up the note, read it over, and then hit print. I stuff it into an envelope and let out a deep breath as I tap the edge of the envelope against my palm.
“Did you write it?” Kerry asks as she comes into the kitchen, and I nod.
“Yeah, but I didn’t sign it. I just wrote from his secret admirer,” I tell her.
She snorts as she pulls out a pot to start cooking.
“What?” I ask, and she smiles.
“It’s more like not-so-secret admirer since I’m pretty sure that everyone in town knows that you two love each other.”
“They don’t,” I protest, and she just smiles as she starts to make dinner.
“They do. Now, when are you going to give it to him?” She asks.
“I think I’m going to go over to his place tonight and leave it under his windshield wiper or something.”
“Alright, I’ll go with you,” she says, and I smile.
That’s why I love Kerry. She’s always encouraging me to go after things. She’s my ride or die, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. If things don’t work out with Beau, at least I’ll always have her.
“Now,” she says. “Help me with dinner.”
“You’ve got it,” I say as I set my laptop aside and move to help her.
TWO
Beau
“That’s it, take all of it,” I tell Lena as I thrust into her tight heat.
“Beau,” she moans. “You feel so good.”
“You feel even better.”
“I’ve been dreaming about this for so long,” she tells me as she tightens around me.
“I love you.”
She opens her mouth, and my heart soars as I get ready to hear her say those three little words to me, but instead, all that comes out is BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.
“Son of a bitch,” I growl as I blink my eyes open and realize that it was all a dream.
I shouldn’t be surprised. These dreams happen at least twice a week, and I always wake up disappointed.
I turn off my alarm and climb out of bed. I need to get to work, and I hop in the shower, trying to force thoughts of Lena and me together from my head as I rinse off. I need to have all thoughts of Lena scrubbed from my mind before I walk into work and see her brother.
I get dressed and grab my keys as I jog outside and over to my truck. I’m climbing behind the wheel when I see the white envelope tucked under my windshield wiper, and I frown as I grab it and toss it onto the passenger seat.
I’m running late so I decide to read it later as I head into town. I drive down Main Street and park outside of Grind On. I look around for any sign of Lena or her car, but she must be running late today too.
I grab the envelope and tear it open. There’s nothing written on the front, and I scan the words, then reread the whole thing again.
A secret admirer?
My first thought is that it’s from Lena, but that has to just be wishful thinking. There are no clues as to who it could be from.
I look up and spot Lena’s car pulling into the lot. She runs this place with her friend, Kerry. They took it over a few months ago when the old owner retired and moved south. Lena usually opens, and Kerry closes.
Lena heads inside, and I climb out of my truck and follow her inside.
“Hey, Lena,” I greet her.
I’m paying close attention to how she acts today, looking for any sign that she’s my secret admirer.
“Hey, Beau. How’s it going?” She asks as she joins Lilou, the other barista, behind the counter.
“Pretty good,” I say.
My heart sinks. She’s acting normal. That must mean that she’s not my secret admirer.
“The usual?” She asks, and I nod, tossing a five-dollar bill on the counter.
She slides a coffee with two creams back to me and smiles.
“See you later. Tell Charlie I said hi, and please remind him that we have dinner with our parents this weekend.”
“Will do,” I promise her.
We both wave as I grab my coffee and head for the door. I force myself not to look back at her as I go.
I didn’t realize just how high my hopes were that she was the one who left me that note. It’s probably for the best. It’s not like I can be with her. Not without ruining my relationship with Charlie.
I head to work and park next to Charlie’s truck. Charlie is my oldest friend. We met in elementary school and have been thick as thieves ever since. We even went to college together, and after we graduated, we came back to Wolf Valley and started our own car parts company. We ship parts all over the country and our offices are attached to the warehouse. I glance down at our employees as they move around the warehouse floor and smile.
It was slow going at first, but things are really starting to pick up this year. We hired a few more people, and I know that if this continues, we’ll have to get a bigger office building soon.
In the beginning, Lena was just Charlie’s sister, but sometime around my thirteenth birthday, I started to develop feelings for her. At first, it was just a crush, but the crush never went away. Instead, it only deepened over the years, and now it’s a full-on obsession.
I’ve never made a move because I know that Charlie would lose it if I told him I wanted to be with his little sister. It would ruin our friendship and company, so I’ve bit my tongue and held back from telling Lena I love her.
It’s getting harder and harder to do that, though.
I head inside and smile as I see Charlie at his desk.
“Hey, man,” he greets me, and I smile.
“I’ll be in to talk in just a second,” I tell him, and he nods, going back to his computer.
I set my things down next door in my own office and try to force all thoughts of Lena from my mind, but I can’t. I pull out the letter and run my fingers over the front.
I’m not sure what to do anymore. I need Lena, but I need my friendship with Charlie, too. This secret admirer thing doesn’t change anything. I don’t want anyone but Lena. Now, if Lena was my secret admirer… well, then maybe things would finally change.
I force myself to stop thinking about Lena as I head into her brother’s office.
THREE
Lena
Since the first note didn’t seem to produce any results, I’ve written another. I may have gotten a little drunk with Kerry last night, and we may have written this note then. Kerry convinced me that the secret admirer thing was just going to drag this thing out. She convinced me to sign this one with Love, Lena instead.
My heart is racing as I park next door to Beau’s place and sneak over to where his truck is parked. I know I’m cutting it kind of close, but I wanted to leave the note here instead of when he was parked somewhere in town where anyone could see me.
“What’s that?” Beau asks as I slip the note under his windshield.
“Shit,” I hiss under my breath.
I can feel my face starting to heat before I even turn around to face Beau.
“Lena?” He asks, and I swallow hard as I turn around.
“Hey,” I croak out.
My heart is racing, and I’m afraid it’s going to beat right out of my chest.
Beau’s eyes glance at the envelope stuffed under his windshield wiper, and I see the moment he recognizes it. He knows what it is before he even reads it, and my stomach drops.
He looks surprised and then almost excited, but that can’t be right. Could it? Could Beau feel the same way as me? Was Kerry right that we both love each other?
Hope soars inside of me, and I clear my throat.
“I’m your secret admirer,” I admit, my voice only shaking slightly.
He nods, and I watch as the happiness fades from his eyes. Regret replaces it, and all of my hopes crash and burn.
“Lena,” he starts, and I want to tell him to stop, that I don’t need to hear him reject me.
I open my mouth, but no words come out. My heart feels like it’s lodged in my throat, preventing me from speaking or breathing.
“This can’t happen. I mean, Charlie would flip… and besides, I don’t see you that way. You’re like my little sister.”
Those words feel like a physical blow to me, and I gasp, tripping back a step.
“Got it,” I choke out, then turn and flee back to my car.
The tears start to come as I start my car and floor it away from his house. I know that he’s going to stop by Grind On like he does every morning, so instead, I head home.
I stumble up the stairs to the apartment, tripping over the stairs as I go. It’s hard to see anything with the tears streaming down my face.
Kerry looks up in alarm as I crash into our apartment.
“Lena! What happened?” She asks, leaping up off of the couch and racing to my side.
“Beau caught me putting the note on his car. He told me that he doesn’t see me that way. He said that I’m like a little sister to him.”
“He’s full of shit!” She seethes. “I’ve seen the way that he looks at you. He loves you. Everyone knows that he loves you.”
“Well, he doesn’t. I’m his sister. Nothing more.”
I curl up on the couch, and she sits next to me, wrapping her arms around me.
“I’m sorry, Lena.”
“Me too,” I sniffle.
“Let’s go out tonight. We can go to Murphy’s Bar and let loose a little bit. We’ll find you a new man. You can let go of this crush once and for all. Get over Beau by getting under someone else and all that.”
“I’m not sure I’m up for it,” I cry, and she nods.
“It will be okay. I promise. Take today off. I’ll go cover at the coffee shop for you. I’ll be back at five, and we can get ready to go out and drink this heartache away.”
I nod, and she hugs me.
“Love you, Lena. It will be alright. You’ll see,” she whispers.
I hope that she’s right.
I keep it together while she gets ready and leaves, but as soon as she’s gone, the dam breaks, and I cry myself to sleep on our couch.
When I wake up, my eyes feel gritty and my head hurts. I drag myself into the shower and try to wash some of the pain away. By the time I get out, Kerry is getting home and she smiles at me as she hops in the shower.
“Want to grab dinner?” She asks me as she comes into my room in a towel.
