One Dark Wish, page 21
“That salve feels nice.”
“I’m glad. Do you want me to do the other arm?”
“Please.” He swallowed. “I saw that recipe box. Was that your grandmother’s?”
“And my mom’s. It’s where they kept all of Anne Capel’s recipes they could find.” Sarah couldn’t stop staring at his lips. They were moist and red and partly open as if struggling to breathe. “Nate—” She hesitated, then forged ahead. “What happened to your parents?”
He closed his eyes. “Car ran off the road during an ice storm. My sister and I survived, but my parents didn’t. We lived with my uncle…until we ran away. She was eighteen, and I was seventeen. I ended up at UNC Chapel Hill on an ROTC scholarship. I was lucky.”
Lucky? That’s the last word she’d use to describe his life. And she was sure there were other things that he’d left out. “Was your uncle kind?”
“He was an alcoholic who liked to collect hunting knives and terrorize children.” Nate stated the sentence clearly, without emotion, but his lips had tightened and the scar on his cheek looked deeper. She could only imagine what kind of home he’d had until he’d gone to college and joined the army. She also realized that Nate hadn’t had a real home since his parents’ death.
“You have a sister?” For some reason, she’d believed he was an only child.
“She lives in North Carolina, near Asheville.” He opened his eyes, and his gaze found Sarah’s mouth. Her breath shortened. “My sister attempted suicide ten years ago. She’s been in a mental health facility ever since.”
She blinked away the blurriness. Nate had survived a traumatic loss at a young age. No wonder he was always trying to protect everyone.
“Nate.” Her words got caught in her throat and it hurt to speak. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ve never seen your hair down. It’s beautiful.” One hand was on hers, the other played with tendrils that framed her face. “Now it’s your turn.”
She kept her hands and her focus on Nate’s other arm. Otherwise she might cry. “I lost my mother when I was sixteen and she was thirty-two. She used to call me her soul’s joy. After her death, my father became chief of police, working horrible hours, and I immersed myself in school. Since finishing my graduate degrees, I’ve worked to make a name for myself in a small, competitive field.”
She paused to get another dab of salve and continued on his other bicep. “Then my father’s scandal and my betrayal by my colleagues ripped our lives apart.” She finished his arm and wiped her hands on a dish towel. Unable to stop touching him, she sat on the chair’s arm and held his hand to her cheek. “Why is everything so complicated?”
“You mean why couldn’t we have met under simpler circumstances?”
She nodded.
His thumb traced her bottom lip. “Nothing about our lives has been simple.”
“You’re probably right.” She touched the scar on his cheek, feeling the indentation and hard edges. “Even if we’d met before, we wouldn’t have noticed each other.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” His slow-spreading smile brightened his face. “I would’ve noticed you. I would’ve taken you away from that short troll Augustus, and it would’ve led to an incredible one-night stand. After not being able to stop thinking about each other, we would’ve started a fabulous few weeks of intense dates, each night ending in wilder and wilder sex.”
“Wow.” She’d no idea what to say to that. “You’ve been thinking about this.” Of course, she had too. It’d been pretty much all she’d been thinking about for the past two weeks. Although her daydreams were probably tamer than his.
He dropped the smile. “Then I would’ve left without being able to tell you where or why or for how long. Our texts would get shorter and shorter until turning into a conversation between emojis and memes. You’d get tired of waiting or insecure about my feelings and pull away.”
“I’d never do that.”
“When I returned home, there’d be awkward phone conversations. A meeting for coffee where you received a sudden call and had to leave. One night I’d surprise you at your apartment only to find you with another man. A lawyer you worked with. Or the guy from the third floor. Maybe even your ex.”
“I’d never do that to you.” She held his face in her palms. “Please tell me no one else did.”
“I believe you.”
She inhaled until her lungs hurt. What kind of woman would betray a man who’d proved he’d do anything to protect those he loved? The thought made Sarah want to take Pete’s dirty fighting class and kill the foolish cows.
Just not right now.
Nate lifted her hair off her shoulders and let it fall down her back. She caressed his face with her thumbs, feeling the day’s worth of stubble. He unzipped her sweatshirt and used both hands to slip it off her shoulders. It landed on the floor with a whoosh that matched her intake of breath. His fingers trailed the camisole straps from her shoulders down to the scoop neckline. Her rapid breathing caused her breasts to rise and fall. His fingers traced the soft curves above the satin edging, and she trembled under the weight of intense anticipation.
As if knowing she couldn’t bear his near-touch any longer, he took one of her hands and kissed her palm before laying it on his chest, over his heart. “The memory of every woman I’ve ever met pales before you.”
She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. “Nate—”
He pulled her onto his lap. His arms circled her waist, and her legs hung off the armrest. One of her arms went around his neck, her other hand now rubbing his bare chest. “From the moment I saw you in that garden two weeks ago, what few relationships I’ve had faded away. I can’t remember names or events or circumstances.”
His heart beat fast beneath her hand, and he’d been right about his being hot. His skin scorched hers, and she half-expected to be left with third-degree burns. She laid her head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. He usually smelled like the woods, but now he smelled like honey and beeswax. The contracting muscles beneath her hand emphasized his strength; his rapid breath exposed his uncertainty; his erection beneath her hip betrayed his need.
It’d been so long since she’d been this close to a man she’d forgotten how they tasted and what they smelled like. How wonderfully hard they were. How amazing it felt to be held like she weighed nothing. She kissed his neck.
He gasped. “Sarah.” The word rolled off his tongue with a deep drawl. She smiled. His North Carolina accent deepened when he was kissing her. “We need sleep.”
“Probably.” Still, she refused to move. Refused to give up any contact with him. “Except I’m not tired.”
“No?” His hands moved until one held her head and the other trailed her spine and rested on her lower back.
She shivered and pressed in closer. “No.” She kissed his neck again. His arms tightened, then he groaned. “Nate?”
“Hmm?” His eyes were closed, and his hand moved in circles, similar to the rhythm she’d used on his arms. His erection shifted beneath her, making itself known in case she hadn’t noticed.
She kissed his chin. “It’s been a long time.”
He opened his eyes and held her head so close their lips brushed. “For me too.”
She inhaled his scent and let her lips rest on his. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Her hair surrounded them in a world all of their own. In a world where it was the two of them with no drama, conflict, or secrets. No one threatening to tear them apart. Threatening to separate them with opposite goals and cross-purposes. “Are you sure?”
She scrambled off his lap and yanked her camisole over her head, giving him his answer: “Yes, Nate. I’m sure.”
Chapter 26
Nate stood in front of the beautiful woman. He didn’t care that his sweatpants did nothing to hide his arousal. He’d rather she understood what she was agreeing to: the moment they started this, there’d be no turning back.
He ran his hands over his head, uncertain and trembling. He’d kept his hair tied, but hers hung in waves over her shoulders, brown curls caressing the curves of her pale breasts and rosy tips. He breathed in the lavender-scented air and attempted to control his rapid breathing. Lightning brightened the room for a second, followed by thunder. Despite the AC humming, moisture tinged the air, blurring the edges, lessening the stark reality of the hellish day.
He fisted his hands against his thighs, conflicted about what he was about to do. He’d be leaving her in less than two days, returning to a world where he only half-existed, where his life wasn’t his own and his nightmares were real. Yet he couldn’t leave without making love to her. He couldn’t leave without making her his.
The problem was it’d been years since he’d been with a woman, and he was terrified of hurting her. He could barely handle his aggression in the fighting ring. How was he to do this without losing control?
“Nate?” She drew back her hair until silky waves hung over her shoulders. “Come to me.”
“I want to.” The husky words sounded lame, like a boy on his first time. The irony was there’d once been a time when he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—have gone a week without sex. But that was a different man in a different lifetime.
She hooked her thumbs in her pajama bottoms and slowly drew them down, stopping at the lower curve of her hip bones. Sweat broke out on his face, his neck. Hell, his whole body was about to immolate. Still, he hesitated.
He was a selfish bastard. He needed Sarah’s complete acceptance. He needed her to be his. He needed her to understand the violence he was capable of and still want him. It would be a gift more precious than he’d ever hoped for.
She lowered her pants even more, until they were on the floor and she was naked. Her hooded eyes dared him. Her full breasts strained for his touch, her long hair mussed around her shoulders. Perfectly rounded hips and long legs that framed the part of her that made her a woman. A goddess illuminated by flashes of lightning.
OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod.
He moved until her breasts touched his chest. Everything became hazy. Except for her lips. He lowered his head to meet hers. Her sweetness shattered his fragile self-control, and heat exploded through his body. He plunged his hands into the silky tangles of her hair and held her head steady so his mouth could caress and plunder. His tongue demanded entrance, seeking surrender.
Her soft sigh made his arousal jump. Need became an all-consuming thought, a driving force that required one thing. Sarah. A hand kept her head captive while the other claimed a soft, swollen breast. He almost cried out at the smooth warmth. He’d forgotten the taste and feel of a woman’s skin.
But his body hadn’t. It demanded a satisfaction that foreplay wouldn’t achieve. With a low growl, his fingers plucked harder at the taut nipple, bringing cries of pleasure. He left her lips to trail his tongue across the upper curves of her breast, and his hand reached lower. Grasping her ass, he held her closer.
She rubbed against him, holding her breast, offering it to him. He took the sweet nub into his mouth, and she shuddered. He forced her to the wall. His body kept her still while his fingers plunged inside her. Her readiness humbled him. She’d been thinking about this as well, wanted him like he wanted her, even after everything she’d learned about him.
That truth made him want to fall on his knees and worship her forever with whatever parts of him she’d take.
His thumb rubbed her most sensitive spot, and she rode his fingers as her own hands worked their way over his tight nipples. Her nails ran through the light hair on his chest, down to the bulge in his pants. He hissed at the unbelievable sensation and slammed both palms on the wall, trapping her. When she slipped the sweatpants off his hips, he stepped out of them.
She clutched his hard length while her tongue darted over his nipples. Her hands began the most sensual massage he’d ever experienced. The slow movement up with a slight twist over the head might have been uncomfortable if the pleasure of it hadn’t been so incredible. He didn’t want gentleness or soft hands, and he had to stop her or he’d lose control.
With one swift motion, he grabbed her ass and lifted her higher. She gasped and gripped his shoulders. His forehead met hers as he shifted his erection to her moist entrance. “Sarah.” The word was ragged, forced.
Her lips were swollen and red. Her breath sounded choppy, as if she couldn’t get enough air. Her brown gaze met his, and he began to enter her—until he stopped. The pause almost killed him, but he wanted her to know who was making love to her, who possessed her.
“Say my name.” He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had spoken his name during sex.
“Nate.” She licked her lips, her eyes half closed. “Please.”
Her plea was all he needed. He drove into her with far more force than he’d intended, as deep as she’d take him, and stopped again. His balls were so tight they were going to crush themselves into dust. His arms and legs shook, the muscles spasming. Not because he couldn’t hold her weight—she weighed nothing—but because he was suspended in a place of profound pleasure he might never find again.
“Nate.” Her whisper brushed over his neck where she was gently nibbling. “It’s okay.”
Those weren’t the words he was expecting, but they were the words he needed to hear. He didn’t want to screw her into oblivion and then leave her. He didn’t want to break her heart. He didn’t want her to move on and live a life with another man. He was a selfish bastard who was sure of only one thing: loving her was going to ruin him.
He pulled out for the sole purpose of driving into her again. She moaned, and he began a pistoning motion that increased in speed. She was so tight, so perfect, so beautiful. He found her lips and kissed her fiercely, in a way he’d never kissed any other. He wanted to make sure she’d always remember him, always compare him to any other lovers she might have.
She drew the tie out of his hair and let it fall down around his face. Her fingers tangled in the strands, and she set the pace of the kiss. She gentled it, nipping and licking his lips. “Nate…” She tightened her legs around his hips and squeezed him.
He almost lost his mind. He moved his hands to her hips and spread his legs to widen hers so he could pound into her harder, faster, deeper. She arched her back, and he lightly bit her neck. If she wanted more, he’d give it to her.
He found her breast and sucked on a nipple, then the other, until they were tight nubs. The moment she screamed his name again, he let out a feral growl. He gripped her waist and lifted her up and down over and over again until the pressure in his balls was too much to bear. The tightening started low and built and built and built until he used his next three strokes to release himself inside her. It took another four strokes to realize he’d given her everything he had. And another five before he was able to stop.
With their foreheads touching, he fought to get his breathing under control. His chest rose and fell, but he still couldn’t get enough air. Still couldn’t take in enough of her scent, that unforgettable mix of gardenias and satiated woman. His satiated woman.
They were both covered in sweat, still bound together because he was still semi-erect and still inside her, unable to leave her.
“Nate.” His name fell off her lips with an intensity he’d never heard before. “Don’t leave me. I’ll be lost forever.” The aching in her voice broke something inside of him, leaving him raw and vulnerable and more uncertain than he’d ever been in his adult life.
He gently disengaged himself and let her feet touch the floor. Before she could wrap her arms around him, he swung her into his arms and carried her to the master bedroom. Now it was time to make love to her.
* * *
Sarah couldn’t stop trembling. Her body shook like her central nervous system had packed up, abandoned post, and left town. Nate carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the king-size bed. The AC in the room chilled the sweat on her skin, forming goosebumps on her stomach and arms. Nate placed a light blanket over her and kissed her again. It was both gentle and firm with promises of more.
She hadn’t been lying when she’d told him it’d been a long time since she’d had sex. But, honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered when the last time was because no man had ever made love to her like Nate had. No one had ever brought her such physical pleasure.
He nipped her nose. “I’ll be right back.” He left the room only to return a moment later with tealight candles in glass votives and matches. Still naked, he lit the candles and placed them on the bureau and nightstands until the room was filled with the scent of lemongrass and the lingering diffused lavender oil. As he moved, the shimmering light skimmed over his hard body, highlighting every ripple and curve. Her stomach clenched and her toes curled.
Then he disappeared again.
She sat, drawing the blanket to her breasts. It wasn’t that she was being modest, she was just…uncertain. Had he enjoyed it? He’d seemed to. Yet she couldn’t help but notice, as he’d lit the candles, the sweat on his upper body outlined corded muscles whipped over bone and that he’d been erect again.
Thunder clapped and lightning flashed. The rain hit sudden and hard, pounding the roof and window. Using a pillow, she propped herself against the headboard and stared outside. A black willow tree stood between the courtyard’s gas lamp and the window, casting eerie silhouettes around the walls. Where was he?
She heard a door open and then shut. Had he left? She started to rise when he returned with his gun and her salve. “Did you go outside?”
“I was checking the locks.” He placed the gun on the nightstand on the other side of the bed. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
She clutched the blanket high, unsure what to do or say. He seemed to be even more aroused than he had been, and a warm heat contracted in her lower stomach. She shifted her legs and used the blanket to hide the swelling of her breasts. “You could never hurt me.”
“I’m glad. Do you want me to do the other arm?”
“Please.” He swallowed. “I saw that recipe box. Was that your grandmother’s?”
“And my mom’s. It’s where they kept all of Anne Capel’s recipes they could find.” Sarah couldn’t stop staring at his lips. They were moist and red and partly open as if struggling to breathe. “Nate—” She hesitated, then forged ahead. “What happened to your parents?”
He closed his eyes. “Car ran off the road during an ice storm. My sister and I survived, but my parents didn’t. We lived with my uncle…until we ran away. She was eighteen, and I was seventeen. I ended up at UNC Chapel Hill on an ROTC scholarship. I was lucky.”
Lucky? That’s the last word she’d use to describe his life. And she was sure there were other things that he’d left out. “Was your uncle kind?”
“He was an alcoholic who liked to collect hunting knives and terrorize children.” Nate stated the sentence clearly, without emotion, but his lips had tightened and the scar on his cheek looked deeper. She could only imagine what kind of home he’d had until he’d gone to college and joined the army. She also realized that Nate hadn’t had a real home since his parents’ death.
“You have a sister?” For some reason, she’d believed he was an only child.
“She lives in North Carolina, near Asheville.” He opened his eyes, and his gaze found Sarah’s mouth. Her breath shortened. “My sister attempted suicide ten years ago. She’s been in a mental health facility ever since.”
She blinked away the blurriness. Nate had survived a traumatic loss at a young age. No wonder he was always trying to protect everyone.
“Nate.” Her words got caught in her throat and it hurt to speak. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ve never seen your hair down. It’s beautiful.” One hand was on hers, the other played with tendrils that framed her face. “Now it’s your turn.”
She kept her hands and her focus on Nate’s other arm. Otherwise she might cry. “I lost my mother when I was sixteen and she was thirty-two. She used to call me her soul’s joy. After her death, my father became chief of police, working horrible hours, and I immersed myself in school. Since finishing my graduate degrees, I’ve worked to make a name for myself in a small, competitive field.”
She paused to get another dab of salve and continued on his other bicep. “Then my father’s scandal and my betrayal by my colleagues ripped our lives apart.” She finished his arm and wiped her hands on a dish towel. Unable to stop touching him, she sat on the chair’s arm and held his hand to her cheek. “Why is everything so complicated?”
“You mean why couldn’t we have met under simpler circumstances?”
She nodded.
His thumb traced her bottom lip. “Nothing about our lives has been simple.”
“You’re probably right.” She touched the scar on his cheek, feeling the indentation and hard edges. “Even if we’d met before, we wouldn’t have noticed each other.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” His slow-spreading smile brightened his face. “I would’ve noticed you. I would’ve taken you away from that short troll Augustus, and it would’ve led to an incredible one-night stand. After not being able to stop thinking about each other, we would’ve started a fabulous few weeks of intense dates, each night ending in wilder and wilder sex.”
“Wow.” She’d no idea what to say to that. “You’ve been thinking about this.” Of course, she had too. It’d been pretty much all she’d been thinking about for the past two weeks. Although her daydreams were probably tamer than his.
He dropped the smile. “Then I would’ve left without being able to tell you where or why or for how long. Our texts would get shorter and shorter until turning into a conversation between emojis and memes. You’d get tired of waiting or insecure about my feelings and pull away.”
“I’d never do that.”
“When I returned home, there’d be awkward phone conversations. A meeting for coffee where you received a sudden call and had to leave. One night I’d surprise you at your apartment only to find you with another man. A lawyer you worked with. Or the guy from the third floor. Maybe even your ex.”
“I’d never do that to you.” She held his face in her palms. “Please tell me no one else did.”
“I believe you.”
She inhaled until her lungs hurt. What kind of woman would betray a man who’d proved he’d do anything to protect those he loved? The thought made Sarah want to take Pete’s dirty fighting class and kill the foolish cows.
Just not right now.
Nate lifted her hair off her shoulders and let it fall down her back. She caressed his face with her thumbs, feeling the day’s worth of stubble. He unzipped her sweatshirt and used both hands to slip it off her shoulders. It landed on the floor with a whoosh that matched her intake of breath. His fingers trailed the camisole straps from her shoulders down to the scoop neckline. Her rapid breathing caused her breasts to rise and fall. His fingers traced the soft curves above the satin edging, and she trembled under the weight of intense anticipation.
As if knowing she couldn’t bear his near-touch any longer, he took one of her hands and kissed her palm before laying it on his chest, over his heart. “The memory of every woman I’ve ever met pales before you.”
She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. “Nate—”
He pulled her onto his lap. His arms circled her waist, and her legs hung off the armrest. One of her arms went around his neck, her other hand now rubbing his bare chest. “From the moment I saw you in that garden two weeks ago, what few relationships I’ve had faded away. I can’t remember names or events or circumstances.”
His heart beat fast beneath her hand, and he’d been right about his being hot. His skin scorched hers, and she half-expected to be left with third-degree burns. She laid her head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. He usually smelled like the woods, but now he smelled like honey and beeswax. The contracting muscles beneath her hand emphasized his strength; his rapid breath exposed his uncertainty; his erection beneath her hip betrayed his need.
It’d been so long since she’d been this close to a man she’d forgotten how they tasted and what they smelled like. How wonderfully hard they were. How amazing it felt to be held like she weighed nothing. She kissed his neck.
He gasped. “Sarah.” The word rolled off his tongue with a deep drawl. She smiled. His North Carolina accent deepened when he was kissing her. “We need sleep.”
“Probably.” Still, she refused to move. Refused to give up any contact with him. “Except I’m not tired.”
“No?” His hands moved until one held her head and the other trailed her spine and rested on her lower back.
She shivered and pressed in closer. “No.” She kissed his neck again. His arms tightened, then he groaned. “Nate?”
“Hmm?” His eyes were closed, and his hand moved in circles, similar to the rhythm she’d used on his arms. His erection shifted beneath her, making itself known in case she hadn’t noticed.
She kissed his chin. “It’s been a long time.”
He opened his eyes and held her head so close their lips brushed. “For me too.”
She inhaled his scent and let her lips rest on his. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Her hair surrounded them in a world all of their own. In a world where it was the two of them with no drama, conflict, or secrets. No one threatening to tear them apart. Threatening to separate them with opposite goals and cross-purposes. “Are you sure?”
She scrambled off his lap and yanked her camisole over her head, giving him his answer: “Yes, Nate. I’m sure.”
Chapter 26
Nate stood in front of the beautiful woman. He didn’t care that his sweatpants did nothing to hide his arousal. He’d rather she understood what she was agreeing to: the moment they started this, there’d be no turning back.
He ran his hands over his head, uncertain and trembling. He’d kept his hair tied, but hers hung in waves over her shoulders, brown curls caressing the curves of her pale breasts and rosy tips. He breathed in the lavender-scented air and attempted to control his rapid breathing. Lightning brightened the room for a second, followed by thunder. Despite the AC humming, moisture tinged the air, blurring the edges, lessening the stark reality of the hellish day.
He fisted his hands against his thighs, conflicted about what he was about to do. He’d be leaving her in less than two days, returning to a world where he only half-existed, where his life wasn’t his own and his nightmares were real. Yet he couldn’t leave without making love to her. He couldn’t leave without making her his.
The problem was it’d been years since he’d been with a woman, and he was terrified of hurting her. He could barely handle his aggression in the fighting ring. How was he to do this without losing control?
“Nate?” She drew back her hair until silky waves hung over her shoulders. “Come to me.”
“I want to.” The husky words sounded lame, like a boy on his first time. The irony was there’d once been a time when he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—have gone a week without sex. But that was a different man in a different lifetime.
She hooked her thumbs in her pajama bottoms and slowly drew them down, stopping at the lower curve of her hip bones. Sweat broke out on his face, his neck. Hell, his whole body was about to immolate. Still, he hesitated.
He was a selfish bastard. He needed Sarah’s complete acceptance. He needed her to be his. He needed her to understand the violence he was capable of and still want him. It would be a gift more precious than he’d ever hoped for.
She lowered her pants even more, until they were on the floor and she was naked. Her hooded eyes dared him. Her full breasts strained for his touch, her long hair mussed around her shoulders. Perfectly rounded hips and long legs that framed the part of her that made her a woman. A goddess illuminated by flashes of lightning.
OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod.
He moved until her breasts touched his chest. Everything became hazy. Except for her lips. He lowered his head to meet hers. Her sweetness shattered his fragile self-control, and heat exploded through his body. He plunged his hands into the silky tangles of her hair and held her head steady so his mouth could caress and plunder. His tongue demanded entrance, seeking surrender.
Her soft sigh made his arousal jump. Need became an all-consuming thought, a driving force that required one thing. Sarah. A hand kept her head captive while the other claimed a soft, swollen breast. He almost cried out at the smooth warmth. He’d forgotten the taste and feel of a woman’s skin.
But his body hadn’t. It demanded a satisfaction that foreplay wouldn’t achieve. With a low growl, his fingers plucked harder at the taut nipple, bringing cries of pleasure. He left her lips to trail his tongue across the upper curves of her breast, and his hand reached lower. Grasping her ass, he held her closer.
She rubbed against him, holding her breast, offering it to him. He took the sweet nub into his mouth, and she shuddered. He forced her to the wall. His body kept her still while his fingers plunged inside her. Her readiness humbled him. She’d been thinking about this as well, wanted him like he wanted her, even after everything she’d learned about him.
That truth made him want to fall on his knees and worship her forever with whatever parts of him she’d take.
His thumb rubbed her most sensitive spot, and she rode his fingers as her own hands worked their way over his tight nipples. Her nails ran through the light hair on his chest, down to the bulge in his pants. He hissed at the unbelievable sensation and slammed both palms on the wall, trapping her. When she slipped the sweatpants off his hips, he stepped out of them.
She clutched his hard length while her tongue darted over his nipples. Her hands began the most sensual massage he’d ever experienced. The slow movement up with a slight twist over the head might have been uncomfortable if the pleasure of it hadn’t been so incredible. He didn’t want gentleness or soft hands, and he had to stop her or he’d lose control.
With one swift motion, he grabbed her ass and lifted her higher. She gasped and gripped his shoulders. His forehead met hers as he shifted his erection to her moist entrance. “Sarah.” The word was ragged, forced.
Her lips were swollen and red. Her breath sounded choppy, as if she couldn’t get enough air. Her brown gaze met his, and he began to enter her—until he stopped. The pause almost killed him, but he wanted her to know who was making love to her, who possessed her.
“Say my name.” He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had spoken his name during sex.
“Nate.” She licked her lips, her eyes half closed. “Please.”
Her plea was all he needed. He drove into her with far more force than he’d intended, as deep as she’d take him, and stopped again. His balls were so tight they were going to crush themselves into dust. His arms and legs shook, the muscles spasming. Not because he couldn’t hold her weight—she weighed nothing—but because he was suspended in a place of profound pleasure he might never find again.
“Nate.” Her whisper brushed over his neck where she was gently nibbling. “It’s okay.”
Those weren’t the words he was expecting, but they were the words he needed to hear. He didn’t want to screw her into oblivion and then leave her. He didn’t want to break her heart. He didn’t want her to move on and live a life with another man. He was a selfish bastard who was sure of only one thing: loving her was going to ruin him.
He pulled out for the sole purpose of driving into her again. She moaned, and he began a pistoning motion that increased in speed. She was so tight, so perfect, so beautiful. He found her lips and kissed her fiercely, in a way he’d never kissed any other. He wanted to make sure she’d always remember him, always compare him to any other lovers she might have.
She drew the tie out of his hair and let it fall down around his face. Her fingers tangled in the strands, and she set the pace of the kiss. She gentled it, nipping and licking his lips. “Nate…” She tightened her legs around his hips and squeezed him.
He almost lost his mind. He moved his hands to her hips and spread his legs to widen hers so he could pound into her harder, faster, deeper. She arched her back, and he lightly bit her neck. If she wanted more, he’d give it to her.
He found her breast and sucked on a nipple, then the other, until they were tight nubs. The moment she screamed his name again, he let out a feral growl. He gripped her waist and lifted her up and down over and over again until the pressure in his balls was too much to bear. The tightening started low and built and built and built until he used his next three strokes to release himself inside her. It took another four strokes to realize he’d given her everything he had. And another five before he was able to stop.
With their foreheads touching, he fought to get his breathing under control. His chest rose and fell, but he still couldn’t get enough air. Still couldn’t take in enough of her scent, that unforgettable mix of gardenias and satiated woman. His satiated woman.
They were both covered in sweat, still bound together because he was still semi-erect and still inside her, unable to leave her.
“Nate.” His name fell off her lips with an intensity he’d never heard before. “Don’t leave me. I’ll be lost forever.” The aching in her voice broke something inside of him, leaving him raw and vulnerable and more uncertain than he’d ever been in his adult life.
He gently disengaged himself and let her feet touch the floor. Before she could wrap her arms around him, he swung her into his arms and carried her to the master bedroom. Now it was time to make love to her.
* * *
Sarah couldn’t stop trembling. Her body shook like her central nervous system had packed up, abandoned post, and left town. Nate carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the king-size bed. The AC in the room chilled the sweat on her skin, forming goosebumps on her stomach and arms. Nate placed a light blanket over her and kissed her again. It was both gentle and firm with promises of more.
She hadn’t been lying when she’d told him it’d been a long time since she’d had sex. But, honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered when the last time was because no man had ever made love to her like Nate had. No one had ever brought her such physical pleasure.
He nipped her nose. “I’ll be right back.” He left the room only to return a moment later with tealight candles in glass votives and matches. Still naked, he lit the candles and placed them on the bureau and nightstands until the room was filled with the scent of lemongrass and the lingering diffused lavender oil. As he moved, the shimmering light skimmed over his hard body, highlighting every ripple and curve. Her stomach clenched and her toes curled.
Then he disappeared again.
She sat, drawing the blanket to her breasts. It wasn’t that she was being modest, she was just…uncertain. Had he enjoyed it? He’d seemed to. Yet she couldn’t help but notice, as he’d lit the candles, the sweat on his upper body outlined corded muscles whipped over bone and that he’d been erect again.
Thunder clapped and lightning flashed. The rain hit sudden and hard, pounding the roof and window. Using a pillow, she propped herself against the headboard and stared outside. A black willow tree stood between the courtyard’s gas lamp and the window, casting eerie silhouettes around the walls. Where was he?
She heard a door open and then shut. Had he left? She started to rise when he returned with his gun and her salve. “Did you go outside?”
“I was checking the locks.” He placed the gun on the nightstand on the other side of the bed. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
She clutched the blanket high, unsure what to do or say. He seemed to be even more aroused than he had been, and a warm heat contracted in her lower stomach. She shifted her legs and used the blanket to hide the swelling of her breasts. “You could never hurt me.”
