The Best of Me, page 14
Carlie nodded.
Ruby walked Carlie to the car and got her buckled in the back seat, then sat down in the seat beside her.
“I’m sorry you are afraid, and I’m so sorry you don’t trust us to keep you safe. But honey, I promise you… You are a treasure to Mr. Ruby and me. And maybe one day, when our house feels like your house, too, you won’t be scared anymore.”
Carlie heard the words. They sounded good, and maybe when she wasn’t so sad in her heart, she would feel all of what Miss Ruby promised.
“Okay?” Ruby asked.
Carlie nodded. “Okay.”
“Now let’s go home. We have cookies, and we also have cold lemonade in the refrigerator. How about we go sit in the gazebo in the backyard and watch the hummingbirds, and you can look for fairies. Maybe leave a cookie crumb for them somewhere. I’ve heard they like sweets.”
“Yes. I want to do that, Miss Ruby.”
“Then we’d better get going,” Ruby said, and drove home thinking of the wonder of Elliot Graham and the gift he was to the world.
Chapter 9
Ruby drove home with anticipation. Carlie had already explored and fallen in love with the garden in the back of their house. But she’d shared it with Peanut. Today, Ruby would be the one sharing the garden with her.
As soon as they got back in the house, Ruby kicked off her shoes and grabbed bottles of lemonade from the refrigerator.
Carlie was delighted that Miss Ruby was barefoot and immediately kicked her shoes off as well.
“You bring the cookies. I have the lemonade,” Ruby said, and out the back door they went.
Carlie was immediately animated and began identifying flowers as they passed on the way to the gazebo.
“Those are ’zaleas, and this is a snow bush,” she said.
“Snowball bush,” Ruby corrected.
Carlie nodded and kept chattering. “You have lots of roses, and those. I can’t remember what you call them, but they’re blue and I like blue.”
“Those are called bachelor buttons. I like blue, too,” Ruby said, then stopped and pointed. “Look! There are hummingbirds at that feeder.”
“Looks like they’re air dancing,” Carlie said.
Ruby smiled. “It does look a bit like they’re dancing. That’s called hovering. Their wings are moving so fast that it keeps them in place without falling. That’s kind of magic, don’t you think?”
Carlie stared. “Like fairies?”
“Yes, if there are fairies in my garden, that would be magic, too,” Ruby said. “Now let’s get in the gazebo where it’s shady.”
“Yes, where it’s shady!” Carlie said, and took off running toward it.
Ruby’s heart skipped, watching her go, running to something and not away from it.
***
Deborah went to Ladd’s place right after breakfast. She got yesterday’s mail out of his mailbox and took it in the house, checked to make sure everything was okay, then saw a phone charger lying on the cabinet, and it occurred to her to look for his phone. Maybe it was in his truck. If it was, he’d probably like to have it. So she went into the garage and began looking in his truck. She didn’t remember seeing it when she was cleaning up the blood but then thought of the console and opened it.
And there it was. She grabbed it, took it and the charger to her SUV, and headed to the barn to feed Sam. Afterward, she drove to the pasture below the house to check on the cattle, counting thirty head and fourteen calves. She’d ask him next time she saw him if that was the right head count.
Maggie was waiting for her when she returned home. Deborah took Ladd’s phone to her room, plugged it in to charge, and then went with her mom.
They walked the barns and the machine sheds, making lists of the machinery to sell and notes about what Maggie wanted to keep, then came back through the garden and picked the tomatoes that were ripe.
“Those green beans are ready to be picked again,” Maggie said. “I’m going to get the bucket.”
“I can do it, Mom,” Deborah said.
Maggie smiled and shook her head. “I know, honey, but I like working in the garden. Getting my hands in the dirt is calming to me.”
“Understood,” Deborah said, and went into the house with the tomatoes while her mother went to the shed to get a bucket for the beans.
After leaving the tomatoes in the sink, Deborah got the riding lawn mower out of the toolshed and mowed the front and back yards. By the time she was finished, her mom had the green beans picked and was in the house making chicken salad for lunch.
“Something smells good,” Deborah said as she walked in the back door.
“Chicken salad on fresh lettuce leaves and peach hand pies,” Maggie said.
“Oh wow, Mom, that all sounds so good, and I haven’t had a hand pie in ages. You make the best. I want dessert first.”
Maggie laughed. “You always wanted dessert first.”
Deborah grinned. “And you always told me no because it would ruin my meal. Only it never did.”
“I know. You just kept growing and growing and I couldn’t fill up those long legs, no matter how hard I tried. You got your Grandpa Ryman’s height,” Maggie said.
“And your dark hair,” Deborah said.
Maggie ran her fingers through her hair. “Used to be dark,” she said. “Too much gray in there now.”
“Your hair is pretty, Mom. It suits you.”
Maggie rolled her eyes. “It’s growing old with me, but I’m not complaining. It’s where I am in life, that’s all. Go wash. Everything is ready.”
Deborah took off at a lope. She didn’t have to be told twice. She was hot, tired, and hungry. Cooling off at the table and having good food with her mom. What more could she want?
Ladd Daltry popped into her thoughts as she was washing up, but she let them go. Now was not the time to pursue thoughts of old flames when she was trying to cool off.
***
Maggie and Deborah had just finished lunch, and as they were putting dishes in the dishwasher, Deborah brought up the move.
“Hey, Mom. You know this move would be easier if you were already in town. We could move whatever furniture you want to keep into the house you choose and just leave the rest to sell with the house and property.”
Maggie nodded. “I know, but I still don’t know if I want to buy or rent when I move.”
Deborah paused. “You hate giving up the farm, don’t you?”
Maggie’s shoulders slumped. “I do. Everything I love is here…except Josh. Everything I love to do is here. My garden. My chickens. The flowers. It’s home.”
Then, before Deborah could respond, Maggie’s phone rang. She glanced down and frowned.
“It’s from the nursing home,” she said, and clutched it against her chest.
“Well, answer it, Mom,” Deborah urged, and finished loading the last of the dishes as Maggie answered, then sat down.
“Hello. This is Maggie.”
“Maggie, this is Loyal Prevet.”
The nursing home director was a long-time friend, but he rarely called.
“Hi, Loyal. Is everything okay?” she asked.
“No, ma’am, it is not. I’m so sorry to tell you that Josh had a massive heart attack about fifteen minutes ago. We worked hard to bring him back, but were unable to revive him.”
“Nooo, nooo, I should have been there,” Maggie said, and started to cry.
“We are all so sorry here, Maggie. Please accept our sympathies.”
Deborah panicked. “Mom? What happened?”
“Your daddy…he’s gone. He had a heart attack. They couldn’t revive him. You talk to Loyal. I can’t think,” she said, and gave the phone to Deborah.
Deborah felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach. It hurt to breathe and tears were already welling. She thought she’d been prepared for this, but she wasn’t. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Mr. Prevet, this is Deborah.”
“We are so sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you, but what happened?” she asked.
“He didn’t want to eat. We were taking him back to his room when he slumped in the wheelchair, unconscious. He never woke up, despite CPR.”
Deborah was sick to her stomach.
“Where’s Dad now?”
“The ambulance took him to the hospital, but it was just a formality. He was pronounced here by our nurse and then by the EMTs.”
“We’re coming to Blessings. Please tell the hospital not to take him anywhere.”
“Yes, ma’am, I sure will,” he said, and hung up.
Deborah was swallowing back tears when she handed the phone to her mom.
“I need to see him,” Maggie said.
“I know, Mom. I told them we were coming. Go do what you need to do. We’ll leave when you’re ready.”
Maggie got up, then reached for Deborah and hugged her. Deborah was all she had left now of Josh, and she didn’t want to let her go.
Deborah felt the panic in her mother’s grasp. There was nothing she could say that would make this easier for either of them, except speaking her truth.
“We both knew this day was coming and that he was getting weaker. It’s part of why you wanted to move to town. My heart is so sad for us, but I will not wish Dad back the way he was. He was trapped, Mom. And now he’s free.”
“I know, honey, I know. It’s just…it’s a shock. Every day I miss the man he was, but that man has been gone for years. I held onto what was, and pretended we were fine. But we weren’t, and I saw it in his eyes. I’m just sad. So sad.”
“So am I…but we’ll figure this out together. I love you.”
“I love you, too, and I’m so glad you are here. Give me a couple of minutes to change shoes.”
Deborah watched her walking away and knew she was crying, but she also knew tears were healing. Then she looked down at what she had on and ran to change into something clean.
Within a few minutes, they were on their way to town, and all the way there Deborah was thinking that she didn’t want to leave Blessings when this was over and then spend the rest of her life waiting for a phone call like this about her mother. She thought of Ladd, alone in the hospital without one living family member to comfort him. Unless she changed what she’d been doing, that could easily be her one day.
She needed to rethink her future.
***
While Deborah and her mother were on their way to Blessings, Darren and Cheryl Payne were already in town. Darren dropped Cheryl and the boys off at the Crown to get groceries and went straight to the hospital to check on Ladd. Among other things, apologies were in order.
***
Ladd was up, walking like an old man because it hurt like hell when he tried to straighten up, but the partially collapsed lung had reinflated, and the pain in his head was somewhat better. The nurse had walked him down the hall, and they were on their way to his room when he looked up and saw Darren Payne coming toward him with a look of horror on his face.
He sighed. Obviously, Darren had found out.
Darren stopped a few feet away for them to catch up and started apologizing the moment Ladd was close enough to hear him.
“Oh my God, Ladd. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
Ladd nodded. He had one hand on his chest and the other on the nurse’s shoulder.
“Can’t talk and walk at the same time. Follow me,” Ladd said, and so Darren did.
The nurse got him into his room and settled back in his bed.
“It’s time for your meds. I’ll be right back,” she said, and nodded to Darren as she passed him on the way out of the room.
As soon as she was gone, Darren moved to the side of the bed.
“I can’t tell you how sorry Cheryl and I are that this happened. When Deborah came and—”
“Deborah told you?” Ladd asked.
Darren shrugged. “You could call it that. Basically, she read me the riot act for ever buying the bull. It was a mistake. I’ll be the first to admit it. And it nearly got you killed. Just so you know, the fence is fixed, the bull is gone…sold…and that won’t ever happen again.”
“Good to know. Why did you buy something like that?” Ladd asked.
“I had this idea to raise bulls for rodeo stock. They pay good money for them. But I didn’t take into consideration that buying an aggressive breed would be dangerous. That’s the stupid Southern farm boy in me. In my head, livestock was livestock, except when they’re bred to fight and buck and stomp the shit out of people. So it’s gone, and you’ll be safe now anywhere on your own land,” Darren said.
“I’m happy to hear this,” Ladd said.
“I have to ask you something else,” Darren said. “Do you have health insurance?”
“Yes. It’ll cover most of the costs,” Ladd said.
“Well, just know that whatever it doesn’t cover is on me. I’ll be letting the business office here know to send me the bill for the balance due.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Ladd said.
“I do if I want to look at myself in the mirror again,” Darren said.
“Then the offer is accepted,” Ladd said.
When the nurse came back with Ladd’s pain meds, Darren stepped aside.
“Looks like you’re going to get some relief in a few, buddy. I’m going to leave now, but is there anything I can do for you at your place?”
“No, Deborah is taking care of things.”
“Are you selling out?” Darren asked.
“I haven’t decided. Thanks for coming by,” Ladd said.
“Sure thing, and again, I’m so sorry,” Darren said, and left with his head down and his shoulders slumped.
The nurse eyed Ladd’s color as she was taking his pulse.
“Is he the guy who owned the bull that hurt you?” she asked.
“Yes,” Ladd said.
“He’s lucky it didn’t kill you,” she said.
“Luck had nothing to do with it. I’m alive because my neighbor, Deborah Ryman, happened to witness the attack. She ran the bull off, dragged my sorry ass into the truck, and got me to the ER.”
“Sounds like quite a woman,” the nurse said. “Now try and get some rest.”
Ladd sighed, then closed his eyes as she left the room, unaware that Deborah and Maggie were in the parking lot below, on their way inside.
***
Maggie was pale and shaking, and Deborah was hanging onto her every step of the way inside. She didn’t feel strong and competent. She felt about ten years old and scared to see her father’s face, and was thinking how glad she was that she’d stopped on her way through town to see him when she first arrived, even before she went home.
She’d known almost instantly that he didn’t know her. The first time she called him Dad and she saw the look of panic flicker in his eyes, she saw no need to push the issue—and now he was gone. She shook off the memory and kept holding onto her mother’s hand as they walked inside.
Maggie went straight to the desk clerk.
“My husband, Josh Ryman, is here. Where is he?”
Deborah saw the panic on the clerk’s face and added, “We already know he has passed.”
“I’ll get a nurse,” the clerk said, and bolted from the desk, coming back moments later with a nurse at her heels.
“If you ladies will follow me,” the nurse said, and led the way to a bay in the ER. She opened the door and walked them in, pulled the sheet back to the top of his shoulders, then looked up. “Please accept our deepest sympathies. We are so sorry for your loss,” she said, and shut the door behind her when she left.
Maggie didn’t hear her. She was locked into the face of the man before her, remembering when they met. Their first date. Their first kiss. The wedding. Becoming parents and doting on everything Deborah said and did. She remembered every laugh, every tear, every hardship they had endured together. She patted his arm and smoothed a lock of his hair away from his forehead.
“Oh, Josh…this is not how I thought we would end,” she said, and then she started to cry.
Deborah kept remembering all the things her dad had taught her. To love with every aspect of your being, but be strong enough to be happy alone. To believe in herself no matter what others thought she should be doing with her life, because she was going to waste it if she didn’t. At every milestone of her life, he’d been there, except for one. If she married, she would walk down the aisle alone.
She hung onto her mother and let the wash of memories roll through her, both of them broken by this new hole in their world, weeping until their eyes were swollen and there were no more tears to cry.
***
Evan Morris, Ladd’s doctor, was making evening rounds and came in while Ladd was poking at the food on his tray. “Evening, Ladd. Are you finding fault with your dinner?” he asked, smiling.
Ladd frowned. “Trying not to,” he said, and laid his fork aside as the nurse moved his tray table so the doctor could check him.
“I like to look at my handiwork,” Morris said, and pulled out his stethoscope. “How’s your breathing? Still hurt to inhale, or are you getting good breaths now?”
“Yes, it hurts to inhale, but I can.”
Morris nodded. “I’d blame that on the broken ribs, then,” he said, and raised the head of Ladd’s bed up a little more so he could get a better look at the staples in the back of Ladd’s head. “These still giving you a lot of trouble?”
“The only way I can lie without messing up the broken ribs is on my back. But I have staples in the back of my head and hoofprints of the bull that tried to kill me all over my back, so I’m not comfortable, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I’m sorry,” Morris said. “There’s not a lot I can do about that except continue pain meds for a while longer and order some ice packs. You can put them on the most painful areas. That and the meds will help reduce inflammation.”
