One Year After You, page 3
‘You’re a huge disappointment, Noah Clark,’ Val tutted. ‘Apart from, you know, the successful career as a paediatrician, the lovely personality, the big heart, and that handsome face. But apart from that, nothing going for you at all.’
‘I was thinking the same thing,’ Nancy concurred woefully. ‘All that perfection is exhausting. I mean, I said the same to George Clooney last time I met him in Aldi.’
That set the two of them off, while Tress met his gaze, grinning as she shook her head. ‘Run while you can. Save yourself.’
He returned the smile. ‘I’m running like the wind. I’ll give you a call later and see how your day is going.’
An innocuous statement on the surface, but he knew that Tress understood that it was so much more than just a flippant comment. For the last twelve months, they’d been through the wars and they were still standing, mostly because they propped each other up whenever the grief or the regret became too consuming. That happened less and less now. This was their normal. They’d come out the other end.
Part of him wanted to stick around Tress’s kitchen, because as long as he was there, with Val and Nancy blasting his eardrums with hooters, his mind wouldn’t wander to the sad stuff. Today was the anniversary of the best and worst things that had happened in his life. Buddy’s birth was at the top of the miracle list, and he was grateful every day that the little guy had made it into the world, even though it was in the worst of circumstances.
That night, Noah had made the hardest decision of his life, when he’d resolved not to tell Tress that Max was hovering between life and death in another ward in the hospital, until she’d safely delivered the baby. He’d held Tress’s hand in the delivery suite as she’d moved to the late stages of labour, before bringing her boy into a family that had been turned upside down.
Focusing on Tress and her newborn that night had distracted Noah from the bomb that just exploded in his own life. In the midst of the heartache and trauma was the discovery of the affair between his best friend and his wife, Anya, that had destroyed their marriage. She had been the love of his life, his partner of almost twenty years, his wife for eleven, and he’d adored her. Even now, a year later, it was tough to say what hurt most. Her betrayal. The fact that it was with his best friend. Or the realisation that he’d been so wrong in believing that they were solid, that they would never hurt each other, that he’d promised forever to someone who could lie to his face.
Afterwards, he and Anya had half-heartedly tried to fix their relationship, but the damage had been terminal. As a doctor, he’d seen people overcome heart-crushing pain and devastation, and for a moment he’d thought they might be able to do the same. But no. The affair was carnage enough, but the consequences were insurmountable. Heartbreak. Death. Grief. Rage. Resentment. It was too much.
Months after the accident, Anya had packed up and gone back to her parents’ home in New York. They’d communicated a few times on legal stuff, but other than that, the woman he’d loved with his whole heart since he was twenty-one years old had become a ghost. And he was glad of it. Especially today, when everything that had happened to them seemed a little more vivid.
Today, just like every day, Noah had two choices: dwell in the pain of the past or be grateful for the good stuff. And today, like most days, he chose the latter.
He’d just jumped into his car, started the engine and reversed out of Tress’s drive when his phone rang and MUM flashed on the screen. He answered straight away. ‘Hey, Mum, how are you doing?’
‘I’m only on for a minute because I’ve got a million and one things to do. It’s crazy in this office today. Her royal highness is on her high horse about something and we’re all hearing about it. Thank God I finish early on a Friday.’
Noah smiled, envisioning his mother’s cool, calm exterior in the face of crisis, but knowing that inside she’d be calling her boss choice names. He could hear a very faint trace of her childhood Ghanaian accent – always a tell that she was under pressure. His dad, Leo, worked for the council, while his mum, Gilda, was a legal secretary and personal assistant to Helena McLean, a fierce, no-nonsense legend in the legal world, regarded as one of the top criminal defence solicitors in the country.
‘Anyway,’ she went on, ‘I know it’s a significant day today, so I’m just making sure that you’re okay and checking that I don’t have to get your sister to pencil you in for a session on her couch.’
All three of his sisters were in the medical profession. Keli was a nurse, Amelie was a carer in a nursing home, and Bria was a counsellor specialising in trauma and PTSD. He had one brother, Dylan, who had bucked the family trend and worked as a freelance photographer.
‘I’m fine, Ma. Really. I’ve just left Tress’s after Buddy’s birthday breakfast and I’m on my way to work. Thanks for worrying about me though.’
‘Always, my love. If it’s not one of you, it’s another. If you see Keli at the hospital today, can you check in on her for me? I’ve not been able to reach her for a couple of days and that’s not like her. Ignoring the world usually means she’s having a great time or a terrible time. I just want to make sure she’s fine and that she’s coming for dinner tonight.’
‘I’m sure it’s all good, Mum, but yes, I’ll check on her.’ It wasn’t a chore. His sister was one of his favourite people and he’d been thrilled when she’d joined him at Glasgow Central Hospital, albeit at the other end of the age spectrum. He was in paediatrics and Keli was a senior nurse on the elderly ward.
His mum began to wrap up the call. ‘Right, I need to go. And you’re still coming over for dinner later too?’
He knew better than to resist, understanding that Gilda’s need to care for her adult children through emotional challenges and hard times took the form of phone calls and feeding, sometimes both in the same day. ‘Of course, Ma. Not sure what time I’ll be there though – can I keep you posted?’
‘Of course you can.’
‘Great, thanks. I’ll see how the day plays out and how Tress is doing later.’
There was a pause at the other end of the phone, and he briefly wondered if they’d lost the connection, before his mum spoke again. ‘You know, son… I watched a documentary about Shania Twain last night…’
‘Ma, I’m just about to lose you, but I’ll buzz you later. Love you, bye!’ Noah hung up, aware he probably wouldn’t go to heaven now because he’d just bold-faced lied to his mother. Then he decided that no jury would convict him under the circumstances. Shania Twain’s romantic history was having an increasingly irritating impact on his life. It was nothing personal against Ms Twain or her music. He didn’t mind admitting that he knew all the words to ‘You’re Still The One’.
He distracted himself from his feelings of parent-centric guilt by placing his next call to Dr Cheska Ayton, head of A&E at Glasgow Central Hospital. She had been an old friend from their time as junior doctors, but somewhere in the last few months, their relationship had progressed to something more. Not that they’d ever put a label on it. They were more than friends, but less than a full-blown, committed relationship, and that suited them both. Cheska had slotted perfectly in to their ‘framily’ group. Her research thesis had been on Alzheimer’s, and Val’s husband, Don, was in the latter stages of the disease, so Cheska had been a steady support to Val too. She was someone special. And it made it her even more special that she put no pressure on him at all to define their relationship. No ties. No pressure. Her first love was her job and he was totally fine with that.
She answered on the first ring, and he immediately kicked off with, ‘Hey, gorgeous, I missed you last night.’
They slept over at each other’s homes once or twice a week, but Cheska had stayed at her own place last night, because she was going straight from a 10 p.m. finish to a 6 a.m. start. ‘Grey’s Anatomy, but with less make-up, more sleep deprivation, much lower budgets and no sex in the on-call rooms,’ was how Cheska described working at the hospital, and she probably had a point.
Cheska answered his greeting with a very formal, ‘Dr Clark, I concur with that diagnosis, but I’m waiting for scans. Can I get back to you?’ Code for yes, I miss you too, but I’m with someone at the moment and can’t talk.
Noah let out a low chuckle. ‘I love it when you talk doctor to me.’
‘I’ll be sure to keep you informed. Are you still available for the meeting we’d scheduled today?’
‘I wouldn’t miss it.’
‘Excellent. I look forward to it. Goodbye, Dr Clark.’
There was a click as she hung up first. His Carplay system automatically reverted to his music selections, and he felt his shoulders relax as Usher’s voice flooded his car. It was short-lived. His neck muscles spasmed back to stressed when the memory that he’d been dodging all morning finally barged into his brain. A year ago, Noah was in this same car, speeding down to Loch Lomond after he’d discovered his wife was in a hotel there. Anya had left that morning, saying she was flying to London for a business conference with Max, who worked for the same company. It was only after she was gone that Noah had realised she’d left her laptop behind, but when he’d called her office to track her down, he’d learned there was no London conference. Some more detective work had pointed him in the direction of a Loch Lomond hotel, but he didn’t even make it that far. He was almost there when he encountered the local police at the site of an overturned car, and inside… It was the worst thing he’d ever seen. His wife. His best friend. Both of them gravely injured.
The song changed, snapping him back to the present in the company of Beyonce. There were worse ways to pull himself out of the dark shadows of his memory. Bey serenaded him with her Renaissance album until he pulled into the hospital car park. It took the usual ten minutes to find a space, but he finally squeezed in between a Skoda and a Porsche.
As always, something about being on hospital grounds focused his mind, and his thoughts went to this morning’s clinic. In a normal clinic he’d see up to fifteen patients, usually a mixture of existing patients checking in for follow-up appointments, sometimes six monthly or annual reviews, alongside new referrals that required investigation, but today’s special clinic was just for three patients he’d been treating for some time. Paediatrics was one of the most rewarding disciplines, but it could be the most heart-breaking too. The best he could hope for in any given day was that the wins outweighed the losses. Most days they did.
Head down, Noah was almost past the woman walking the same path to the hospital entrance, before she cleared her throat pointedly.
‘Just as well you didn’t become a detective because your observation skills need work.’
Noah stopped, grinned, and threw his arm around his sister. Keli was ten years younger than him, the baby of the family, born six years after his younger brother and a surprise, given that Noah and his other three siblings had all come along in rapid succession.
Like the rest of the family, she was tall, around five foot nine inches and had been the most athletic of the girls. Bria was the dreamer, Amelie was the bookworm, but Keli was the track star, the basketball player, the tennis champ. They all thought she’d opt for a future in the sports industry, so it had initially been a surprise when she’d decided on a career in nursing, but she was made for it. She’d worked in a hospital in the nearby town of Paisley for many years after she qualified, but she’d moved to the elderly ward at Glasgow Central the year before and Noah loved having her in the same building.
‘You just saved me a job,’ he told her as they walked.
‘I did?’
‘Mum told me to hunt you down and do a welfare check. Says she hasn’t spoken to you for a couple of days. If I don’t give her a progress report by end of day, she’s calling in a SWAT team.’
Keli sighed. ‘I’m glad she’s not dramatic or prone to overreacting.’
‘Only where we’re concerned and just because we’re lovable,’ Noah joked, sensing an edge of irritation in Keli’s tone that surprised him. She was usually the most laid-back and easy-going of them all and being the youngest, she had an especially close bond with their mum. Must be having an off day.
Keli didn’t skip a beat. ‘You’re not wrong. I’ll give her a buzz this afternoon. I’ve just been stacked with work and…’
‘Dating websites?’
She elbowed him in the ribs. ‘Definitely not dating websites.’
‘You’ve met someone new?’ Noah asked, with a hint of teasing. Keli had always shared the stuff that was going on in her life but she’d been surprisingly coy lately. Over the last few months he and Tress had been sure she was seeing someone, but Keli had refused to confirm, deny or elaborate. Noah had just accepted that she’d tell him when she was ready.
‘No. Yes. It’s a long story.’ She promptly changed the subject. ‘Anyway, sorry, why are we talking about me today? How are you doing? How’s Tress?’
Noah paused to allow the automatic doors at the staff entrance to the building to open. ‘I think she’s okay. I popped in this morning to have a birthday breakfast with Buddy. That kid is amazing. He definitely helps us all keep it together and focus on the good stuff.’
Keli went through the door first into the foyer. ‘I have a birthday pressie for him so I’ll call Tress or I’ll bring it over to you later. I take it you’re still going to Mum’s for dinner?’
‘I’m not sure I have a choice in the matter,’ he said, grinning. ‘So yeah. How about you?’
‘Two birds, one stone. It stops Mum hunting me down and we get great food. I’d be a fool to refuse.’ Keli pushed her arm through her brother’s as they crossed the reception area. ‘Anyway, you didn’t tell me how you’re doing. Today can’t be easy…’
Noah’s shoulders sagged a little. He wasn’t going to lie, but at the same time, he didn’t want to acknowledge the anniversary of the accident. Not here. Not now. Preferably not ever. Two pills of denial, taken with water, and he’d be feeling better in no time. ‘I’m just doing a really good job of trying not to look backwards. As long as I don’t think about it, I’m…’
‘Noah?’ The voice from the sofa over in the staff rest area cut right through his thoughts, and for a second, he thought he’d imagined it. Maybe misheard. Perhaps it was mistaken identity. Another woman with an American accent that had a twang of Scottish brogue because she’d lived here for years. Yep, that was it. He must have mistaken another half American, half Scottish woman for his ex…
He turned his head to see, and the answer was there. No mistake. Definitely his ex-wife. Anya was sitting on the edge of the sofa, hands clasped on her lap, looking at him with a mixture of trepidation and something else. Hope?
She stood up and walked towards him.
‘Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.’ That came in a hissed whisper from Keli, followed by, ‘You don’t have to speak to her. Say the word and I’ll tell her to go.’
In any other setting, Noah would be touched that his little sister was trying to bail him out, but right now he was too shocked to process the words, so he didn’t have time to reply. His gaze was locked on Anya until she reached them and stopped right in front of him.
‘Noah, can we talk?’
He’d thought that today was going to be the day that he put the past behind him.
Now he saw that it was going to be the day that his ghosts came back to haunt him.
4
KELI CLARK
Keli had told herself that she wasn’t going to think about it today. Today was such a significant day for Noah. It was little Buddy’s birthday. It was the anniversary of Tress’s heartache. Yet, just like every other day for the last week or so, it had been the only thing on her mind since the moment she woke up after another fitful night of sleep.
Her mother’s psychic powers were scarily accurate as always. Keli wasn’t okay. She was so far from okay. And she had no idea what she was going to do about it. For a moment, she’d thought about saying something to Noah, asking him for help. There was no doubt that he’d do anything for her, but she couldn’t, wouldn’t, add more onto his shoulders than he was already carrying. And besides, her former sister-in-law, Anya, showing up had just detonated a bomb in his life that he could do without. She had desperately wanted to stay downstairs by Noah’s side, but he’d made it clear he needed to deal with Anya on his own. Keli made a mental note to check on him when she got off shift, to make sure he was okay and find out what Anya wanted. As if she hadn’t done enough damage. Anya’s actions had devastated them all. She’d been another sister to Keli and the loss had stung, but she’d put her own feelings to one side and focused on supporting Noah, just as he would do for her. So no, she wasn’t going to add her own sister drama to his woes now. She had to deal with this herself. And right now, the way she was going to do that was by filling her day with distractions and trying not to think about how her whole life was on the brink of falling apart.
Keli changed into her uniform and made her way up to her ward, half an hour early, so that she could grab a green tea and get her head into work mode before starting her shift.
In the staffroom, her friend Yvie, queen of multitasking, was simultaneously making tea, eating a biscuit and humming to the Taylor Swift song that was playing on the radio. Keli waited until the end of the chorus before interrupting, with, ‘Not sure Taylor Swift has ever sung “Cruel Summer” while eating a Hobnob.’
Gorgeous, voluptuous, huge-hearted Yvie swung round, grinning. ‘Well, more fool her. I highly recommend it.’ Still multitasking, she carried on dancing and stirring her tea, while asking, ‘I thought you were off today? Did you get your days mixed up?’
