One Day With You, page 16
‘I think your boy probably already knows that I’m going nowhere,’ Noah said, and for the first time all day, those little furrows between his eyes disappeared when he smiled.
‘We’re both really pleased to hear that because… because… because…’ she was gasping for breath in between each repetition as the pain seized her and turned her stomach into a rock-hard spasm that was apparently shutting down her lungs now too.
Noah had both her hands and he put them on his shoulders, letting her offset the force of the pain by pushing against him, not even flinching when the volume of her scream must have blown out his ear drums.
‘I’ve got you, Tress. I’ve got you. You can do this. That’s it. Keep breathing. Push against me. Just keep pushing.’
She didn’t even realise that Sally had come into the room until she was right next to her, rubbing her back as the pain finally let go and she could breathe again.
‘Well done, Tress. Honestly, you’re doing great.’
‘I think Noah needs new ear drums.’ Tress spluttered, holding on to her side while the muscles there loosened their grip.
‘Och, he’s fine. They’ll grow back. The men definitely don’t get the sympathy around here so just you keep any of that nonsense to yourself,’ she joked. ‘Dr Clark, I think there was a phone call for you out at the desk,’ she said breezily. ‘Right, Tress, lie back for me and let me have another check to see how you’re doing. I think you might be getting close to meeting your boy.’
Tress couldn’t help but smile. Enough of the sadness.
Tonight was about to be the best night of her life.
22
NOAH
Noah had lied to her. Straight to her face. Made up some stupid story about them being stuck on a flight and broken phones and… Fuck, he didn’t know how he could live with himself after this. He wouldn’t blame Tress one bit if she hated him and never forgave him, but it was the only thing he could think of to defer the stress and worry she was having about why Max wasn’t here. And maybe he was wrong. There was a definite possibility that he was making a huge mistake, but there was no changing what was ahead of them right now – she was going to give birth soon, probably in the next couple of hours, and Max wasn’t going to be here with her. His top priority was keeping Tress as calm as possible and telling her the truth would destroy her when she needed her strength the most.
Outside in the lobby, he pulled out his mobile. Sally’s claim that there had been a phone call for him had been untrue. When he’d nipped out last time, he’d asked her to say that when she came back in to check on Tress, and to stay with her until he returned. It could be argued that including hospital staff in his lies was unethical, but he hadn’t put Sally in the position of saying anything untrue to Tress. Besides, Sally’s priority was Tress’s welfare and wellbeing, and she was committed to taking care of her. Right now, keeping her calm, safe and positive were top of that criteria.
His first call was going to be to Cheska, the A&E consultant who had been one of his closest friends throughout their training. There were no other doctors he’d choose to take care of people he loved over Cheska Ayton and Richard Campbell, the two medics that had been waiting for them when the ambulance drew into the bay. They were friends, but they were also brilliant doctors, and if anyone could work some kind of miracle today, it was them. He just prayed that there were miracles to be had.
Anya would still be in theatre now, and it was killing him that he couldn’t be by her side. He’d do anything to swap places with her. Anything at all. He’d loved her since the first day they met, and that had never changed, not even in the last few months when they’d been having problems, or last night when they were arguing. That felt like an age ago. His stomach clenched as he tried to remember his last words to her this morning.
‘Anya, wait… I’m sorry. Can we talk? Five minutes…’
‘No. I’ve got a flight to catch and I’m not going to miss it. I’m taking my car and I’ll park it at the airport. We can talk when I get back.’
There had been no ‘I love you’, no ‘I’ll miss you’. He couldn’t remember another time that she’d left without kissing him and exchanging sweet words.
This morning there had been none of that. Just a lie. ‘I’ve got a flight to catch.’
Why? What were they doing there? Now, in the silence of the corridor, the questions were back and so were the most obvious answers. Anya had lied to him. Max had lied to Tress. Were they having an affair? No matter how ridiculous that sounded, could it be true? No. It was incomprehensible. But… maybe.
All their lives, Max had been the guy who went after what he wanted, who never had enough, always needed more. A bigger adrenaline high. More excitement. The ultimate thrills. And, sure, if someone else had something, then he wanted it too. Was that it? Had he wanted Anya? Had he persuaded her to be with him?
No. Anya would never be unfaithful. But even as Noah was thinking it, he knew how persistent Max could be.
Fuck.
His forehead made contact with the wall, rested there. He closed his eyes and forced his brain to shut down the questions. Not now. The answers could come later. Right now, he just had to face every moment as it came, and do the right thing. He could only control his own actions, and in this moment, that meant doing what he’d come out here to do. He made his first call.
‘Cheska, it’s Noah. Any word?’ Anya had been in theatre now for almost three hours and while he didn’t expect there to be news yet, he had to keep checking, keep asking. Because if the worst… That thought stuck in his throat and then released itself in a tortured sob.
If Cheska heard it, she didn’t say. ‘Nothing yet, Noah, but that’s okay. With the extent of Anya’s injuries, I’d anticipate that it will be another couple of hours at least. I know cardiology were in with her, but orthopaedics and neuro were on standby too. The important thing is that she’s still in there, still fighting.’
‘What about Max?’
‘He’s had his scans and he was transferred to ICU. I’m still down in A&E, but last I heard they were waiting for neuro to discuss the images and put a plan together. I can call up to ICU and get an update if that helps?’
‘No, no – I can do that. But thank you.’ He knew how busy she’d be in A&E. They were critically short-staffed, and they’d been working obscene hours and running on empty for way too long.
‘That’s okay. How are you holding up?’
‘I don’t know that I am. I just lied to one of my best friends and I’ve no idea if I’m doing the right thing.’
‘I don’t know either, Noah,’ she said softly. As interns, they’d spent endless nights in the halls, debating every kind of moral and medical dilemma, but this was never one that had come up. ‘All I can tell you is that if it were me in that labour suite, I’d want you to do exactly what you’re doing, because no matter how much I loved my partner, the person who would matter most to me is my child.’
It felt like all the air rushed out of his chest when she said that.
Two very pregnant women, walking along the hall of the labour suite, glanced over at him and he realised he must be an incongruous sight. A doctor in full scrubs leaning against the wall, on his phone, angst-ridden and close to tears.
‘Thanks, Cheska. And if you hear anything, anything at all, can you text or call me? I’ll have the phone on silent, but even if I can’t speak, I’ll call you right back.’
‘Of course. Look, I have to go, we’ve got another incoming RTA, but you stay strong over there, okay?’
He appreciated her words, even if he didn’t know that he could live up to her parting request. He closed his eyes. He could do this. Block everything out and take care of Tress. That was all he could do right now and he wasn’t going to let her down.
He quickly dialled over to ICU and was just about to give up when the phone was finally answered. He recognised the voice as belonging to one of the nurses who’d been on the ward for years. ‘Hi, Jenny, it’s Noah Clark. I’m just calling for an update on a patient I believe you have in there: Max Walker.’
His heart was thudding out of his chest as he sent up a silent prayer. Please don’t give me bad news. Nothing bad. Please don’t tell me anything that will make this absolute shitshow of a day any worse.
‘Hi, Dr Clark, I don’t have anything at the moment. Neuro have been down and examined him, but they’re still in conference. Do you want me to go interrupt them?’
He let out the breath that he’d been holding. ‘No, it’s fine. I’ll call back. If there’s any change to the patient, or if they decide to take him up to theatre, can you call me straight away please?’
‘Of course.’
He thanked her and hung up. He could have waited, or had the scans sent over, or done one of a dozen other things, but the truth was, he just wanted to get back into the labour suite and be with Tress. He was a paediatrician, not an obstetrician, but he’d done a rotation on the maternity wards, and he was pretty sure that Tress didn’t have long left to go. And nothing was more important right now than holding her hand when this baby was born.
He quickly checked his messages and picked up two voicemails. One from Anya’s parents saying they’d managed to get a flight and were on their way to JFK airport as they spoke. That made him exhale with relief. Anya would want them there when she woke up.
The other was from Max’s father, Colin, saying they were going to try to get home tomorrow, while his mum, Georgina, sobbed in the background, castigating Max’s dad, shouting something about how they should have been here already, but Colin wouldn’t agree to come home for the reunion. That one took a moment to click. Of course. Max’s parents had been at school with Nancy. They’d obviously declined the invitation to come back for the party. Not surprising really. They didn’t have the best reputation in the village and he couldn’t imagine many people would be glad to see them. Everyone had heard the rumours about Colin and Georgina Walker. No boundaries. No monogamy in their marriage. And that meant they’d burned many bridges.
Had Max taken the same path? Had he just taken a blowtorch to their friendship? And had Noah been too trusting and blindly loyal to see it?
He realised that he wanted to talk to the one person whom he could trust to ask. His mum. But doing that would mean telling her everything that had happened and, much as he wanted to hear her voice, that was just being selfish. Tress needed him right now. No time for phone calls just to make him feel better.
He slipped his phone back into his pocket and then did a quick detour to the vending machine for more drinks and snacks. He’d eaten nothing all day, but he had no appetite. He just didn’t want Tress wondering where he’d been all that time if he came back empty-handed.
Hands holding the juice bottles and chocolate, he pushed open the door with his shoulder and saw that she was back off the bed and kneeling on the mat again, this time her upper body supported by the huge ball.
‘This is actually okay when you get the hang of it,’ she said, rolling back and forward as she spoke. ‘Sally showed me the best way to do it.’
‘It’s one of the many tips in my little book of exemplary childbirth,’ Sally joked, and Noah was grateful for her positive energy.
‘Yeah, well, here are my tips – eat when you can because you don’t know when you’ll have another chance. Pickled onion crisps or a Mars Bar?’ he asked, holding up both.
‘Noah Clark, you know how to impress a woman,’ Tress grinned, and his spirits lifted a little. She was obviously going with her resolution from earlier and putting her worries aside to focus on staying positive and upbeat for the baby. He could definitely go with that.
He sat on the armchair next to where she was rolling and gave in to her request for the chocolate. She somehow managed to unwrap it and eat it while she was still in motion. She’d always been great at multitasking.
‘Sally says we’ve to continue timing and she’ll be back in half an hour. I reckon they’re less than fifteen minutes apart now, but it’s hard to tell the exact time when you’re buckled over and screaming.’ She said that with a smile that Noah returned. ‘So, tell me,’ she said between bites. ‘What do I get for giving you all this experience that will one day come in exceptionally handy when you and Anya have children?’
Noah bit down on a pickled onion crisp while he contemplated his answer. This was so difficult. All he could think about was what was going on outside this room… Enough. Focus, he told himself. No matter how hard this was, he had to relax and block everything else out, otherwise Tress would pick up on his energy and start worrying again.
‘Regular babysitting,’ he offered. ‘I’m thinking once a fortnight, alternating Fridays and Saturdays, and one week in the summer I’ll take him away with us and teach him something new. Sandcastle construction. Swimming. Surfing.’
‘You are not taking my child surfing,’ she objected, laughing. ‘Can you not teach him something a bit less dangerous for a toddler? I’m thinking Playdoh. Or maybe the merits of peeing standing up.’
‘I can definitely do the first one. The second one depends on how many beers I’ve had.’
Okay, this was better. He was making her laugh, getting some dopamine going in there.
Tress was still rolling. ‘I know I’ve said this before, but I just hope our wee guy has a friend that lasts a lifetime like you two.’
Noah’s gut crunched tight when she said that, but he managed not to react as she went on.
‘Max always says his life would have been totally different if he hadn’t met you.’
There was no way he could cut this conversation off without it seeming odd, so he knew he had no option but to go with it.
‘Yeah, both of our lives would have been, I guess. I don’t remember a time when we weren’t together, because we met on the first day of primary school. My mum used to say he was my brother from another mother. And she didn’t love Georgina Walker, so I don’t think she was necessarily very happy about that bit.’ The memory made him smile. The truth was, his mother loved Max and maybe felt a little sorry for him. Noah’s family had never had the big house and the flash parties that the Walkers had, but clichéd as it was, they had the kind of family that was just all about love and laughing. ‘My mum just treated Max like one of us – and his bollockings were every bit as loud as the ones that she doled out to me and my siblings. She once pulled us all the way up the street by the backs of our jumpers because we got caught sneaking out of the house when he was sleeping over at ours.’
Tress was laughing again. ‘What age were you?’
Noah shrugged. ‘Maybe eight? Nine?’
‘And where were you going? I presume it was at night-time?’
‘Yep, pitch black. We were going to climb the fence into the park and play footie because we reckoned it would be brilliant to have the pitch all to ourselves.’
‘No, no, no,’ she was chiding him, playfully. ‘Let me see if I can correct you there. I bet it was Max who had the idea to do that, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to talk him out of it, so you went along with him, even though you knew there were very definite flaws in the plan.’
‘I’m not even going to ask how you know that.’
‘Because he hasn’t changed a bit,’ she said, her smile a curious mixture of happy and sad. ‘It’s one of the things that’s always scared me and thrilled me in equal measure about him. He’s fearless. Exhilarating. And I’ve never met anyone who loves life more or who’s so obsessed with living it to the fullest. But sometimes…’
Noah knew exactly where she was going with this, but he didn’t stop her. If she was talking about Max, she wasn’t worrying about the next contraction and that had to be a good thing.
‘… Sometimes it scares me. I think you and I probably have similar natures. I’m more cautious. More thoughtful. But Max… he just brings all the energy to the room and blasts ahead if he thinks something’s a great idea. I’ve never known anyone to live in the moment the way he does. Sometimes I want to tell him to slow down, to think something through. But that’s not him. So right at the start of our relationship, I had to make peace with the fact that he’ll always choose the good time, always take the risk, always do what seems like the best idea right in that second. And if that means that I wake up and find out he couldn’t sleep and has booked a weekend in Ibiza for us, leaving that morning, then that’s the terrible price I have to pay.’
It took everything Noah had to laugh at her rueful sarcasm and go along with the joke. She wasn’t wrong in her summary of his best mate’s personality. And that’s what terrified him most, because it let that thought back in, the one that was still waiting, like the elephant in corner of his mind, for him to address since he’d seen Max hanging in the upside-down driver’s seat of his wife’s car and realised that all the inconsistencies he’d discovered in his wife’s plans led straight to that point. The lie about going to London. The hotel booking in Loch Lomond. The king room. For two.
Was Anya one of those good times that Max chased after because he wanted to live in the moment?
Either way, Max and Anya had already paid a terrible price for their decisions.
And there was a really huge possibility that it was going to cost him and Tress everything too.
23
NANCY
Nancy had changed her mind about going to the reunion a dozen times, and that was just in between dropping her clothes to the floor and climbing into the bath.
All that she kept thinking about was poor Tress over at that hospital, and Noah, and the travesty of the accident with Anya and Max. If they’d let more people into the labour suite, then there was no way she’d even contemplate being anywhere other than by Tress’s side. Compared to what was going on over there, her situation was so trite and frivolous.
