HIs to Take, page 6
part #1 of New Earth Series
“Oh hush, Kay,” May admonished, her eyes disapproving as she looked at her sister. “You never did like foreigners.”
“Well, Juan got Amber pregnant when she was 17, didn’t he?” she shot back, but a stern glance from May soon shut her up.
Not the perfect family, then, Ann decided. Not if the sister was xenophobic and the grandson was obviously half Hispanic. Sadness overwhelmed her, and she took the bottle of water her mother gave her with a tired motion. Five years and countless deaths had passed since that horrible day, and people like Kay could still carry such prejudices.
Ann had grown up with a mixture of races, she’d gone to school with, been friends with, and had learned from the other students in her school. She’d never looked down on anyone because of skin color or how much money their parents had. Students were students, just people to her, and so were the other people in her life.
“I guess you all want to lie down. It’s late in the night, and we need to get Ricardo back to sleep,” May said and looked over at the empty space by the wall. “This was my husband’s clinic before the end came. There are exam rooms out there you can sleep in, if you want some privacy, or you can stay in here with us. It’s up to you.”
Ann went to stand up, ready to close her eyes and let the world slip away. She nodded at the other people as a way to say goodnight and made her way out of the larger room. It was dark in the hallway, but she felt along the wall until she found a doorknob. It turned easily, and Ann walked into the room. She could tell there were no windows, so she turned on her solar-powered flashlight and made her way to the exam table. The rubber mat was still on it, and though it wasn’t made to sleep on, it was wide enough to hold Ann, at least.
She unrolled her camp blanket and settled down onto the table. Another strange day, in a life that hadn’t stopped being strange since those many days ago. She stared up at the ceiling and saw that the tiles were discolored in the ultra-white of the LED light. She turned the light off, saving the batteries that were recharged by the sunlight during the day, and wondered why she’d locked the door behind her.
Was it to keep danger out? But what danger?
Rex, her brain told her. Rex was becoming a nuisance. Every night, he tried to get her to… touch him. Or kiss him, to go off to have sex with him. She’d insist that she wanted to wait until someone could marry them, then they could be a proper family, but he kept trying to persuade her.
Even last night, curled up in the darkness of a bank they’d found, he’d tried to get her to go off to one of the offices to “bang their brains out”, as he’d put it. He’d said it was the perfect place, with soft carpet, and a lot of privacy. They’d all put down their blankets in the bank vault, where it was quiet and safe, and he’d said they wouldn’t be heard if they went out to one of the offices.
She was too confused, upset even, by her continued dreams, to give him an honest reply. She knew waiting for marriage wasn’t the best excuse, especially when there was nobody around to make it official, but it was all she could think of. She’d loved him her whole life, but now she was starting to lose some of her infatuation. Now that he’d finally started to notice her, well, she hated to admit it, but she wished he’d go back to ignoring her.
It wasn’t just because of the dreams, though. His insistence on sex disturbed her most of the time. It was like that was all he wanted from her. He’d sometimes tell her he was on fire for her, or that he needed her. That he ached for her touch, and that only she could give him relief from the urges he had. She was a little flattered by it all, but she wondered if it was all a lie.
There was no love in his eyes when he said all of those things, only greedy need. She’d dreamed about him saying things like that, but now, well, she was learning quickly that sometimes fantasy was better than reality.
Ann sighed and rolled to her other side. At least the man in her dreams was honest about what he wanted. He didn’t couch it in sweet lies and pretty words. He was blunt, forward, and direct about what he wanted from her. Every part of her body she had to offer.
She knew by now that something strange was happening, that the continuation of the dreams wasn’t normal. With everything else that had happened in the world, and without a friend to talk about it with, well, Ann stayed quiet. It was her secret, and one she couldn’t talk about with her mother or father, and definitely not Rex.
Ann took another deep breath and put her arm under her head. It was a strange world they lived in now, and she had a feeling it was only going to get stranger.
8
The parents in her group decided they’d stay another day with the elderly women and the young boy. Ann and her mother carried up the heavier things the women needed from the basement, boxes of dried food, and dozens of bottles of water, but they left some down there, just in case they needed to go back.
If there were soldiers hunting wolf survivors, then the option needed to be left open to them. The door on their basement locked from the inside, and it was reinforced steel, so it wasn’t likely that anyone could get through it.
“I’ve heard they have some kind of laser weapon,” Stephan spoke up, though they hadn’t really heard from anyone other than the women since they’d spotted the soldiers.
“I’ve heard that too,” May replied and rocked in her rocking chair. Her white hair was a white cloud around her face, and she had her grandson in her arms. Kay was beside her, both dressed in denim jeans and flannel shirts with the arms rolled up.
“Do you know exactly what they are?” John prodded, and May’s gaze turned to him.
“No, I don’t rightly know,” she said quietly. “I have only heard what other traveling wolf families have told me. The unafflicted tend to stay away from us. I guess they can sense us or something.”
“I can’t tell anything,” Ann started, but her mother patted her arm and she went quiet.
“What happened to your daughter and Ricardo’s dad?” Rex interrupted, and Ann noted that he’d been staring at the boy for a while now. The question was rude, and Ann glared at him. What a thing to ask!
“We don’t know, like I said last night. They left me here with a baby to keep an eye on, and they never came back. They knew they could go down to the basement with us, but, well, they just never came back.”
“Maybe they found somewhere else to hide, and they’re on their way back now,” Mary said, but they all knew there was little hope of that.
“I can only pray you’re right,” May whispered and patted the little boy’s back. He was almost asleep, on her broad lap, and Ann wondered if he ever spoke. And why was Rex so interested in him?
“We’ll be out of your hair tonight,” Amanda promised and sent her own look in her son’s direction.
“How can you be so rude, Rex? Stop that,” Amanda hissed softly, but Ann, sitting right beside her, heard what she said.
She didn’t hear if Rex replied and decided it was time to rest up for a bit. “I’m going to lie down for a bit before we start walking again.”
“Alright, honey, enjoy your rest,” her mom told her, and she waved at the room in general as she left.
She went to her exam room, dug around in her pack, and found a book inside. She’d started to leave the ones she had finished behind, in safe, dry places, in case anyone else needed a distraction along the way. It also lightened the load in her pack, which was a good thing. Instead of getting lighter, though, every day made the pack seem a little heavier. Some time without it on her back was heaven.
She kicked off her running shoes and climbed onto the table. She’d changed her shirt to a long, white one that floated around her upper thighs in a flirty kind of way. It was made from the same material as her t-shirt, but softer. It was something she’d have picked out at the mall for the times when she wasn’t in her school uniform.
The words soothed her brain, and calm started to wash over her. Before too long, the words started to blur, and then her eyes closed. She floated somewhere between sleep and reality. She didn’t react when she heard the click of her door opening, or when she heard footsteps. It was just noise, until she felt someone brush their fingers against her face.
With a stunned gasp, Ann sat up and pushed the hand away. “What the hell?”
“It’s just me, Ann. Let me touch you. You looked so sweet laid there with your eyes closed.” He had an odd look in his eye that made Ann nervous.
“Rex, I think you need to go back to the rest of the group,” she told him and made to get up from the table. But he pushed her down, his weight on top of her a burden she couldn’t budge. When he pulled his legs up and let his full weight fall on her, she could barely breathe. “Rex, you’re hurting me, stop it.”
“Oh, Ann, just a minute. It will only take a minute, please…” His lips were against her neck, and she tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge.
For a moment, she gave up, she let him touch her. She’d wanted this for so long, to be his, she reminded herself as his hand went up her top to cup her breast. She had a white tank top on underneath it, but his fingers had found their way beneath that too.
She waited and let him touch her because she loved him. Didn’t she? She’d wanted this to happen, oh so long ago. Maybe letting him have his way would bring that love back. Maybe it would bring back the quiet, poetically broody Rex she’d loved for so long.
She had to admit it was kind of nice to feel his lips on her. And the way his fingers played over her nipples wasn’t bad. The sensation almost echoed what the dream man made her feel, but not quite. Rex’s fingers gripped at her nipple then, too tight, too hard, as he bit into her neck.
It wasn’t a gentle bite, a love bite to entice her, as she’d dreamed about lately. It was painful, and she cried out. This wasn’t right, he shouldn’t be able to do this just because he was heavier than her, stronger than her.
“Rex, stop. No. I don’t want this.” She pushed against his shoulders and tried to draw away from him, but he just pressed down harder against her body.
“Of course, you do, Ann. You’ve wanted me since you were 14 years old and started to grow tits. Don’t think I didn’t notice. I did, you just weren’t in my league back then.”
Having her schoolgirl crush, and the mention of her budding breasts, thrown in her face was like a bucket of cold water over Ann and she struggled harder. That only made him more excited it seemed, and his hands were everywhere as he attempted to hold her down long enough to get her pants off of her.
“Hold still, dammit, Ann! Stop fucking around.”
“NO!” she finally screamed, and then screamed her father’s name, as loud as she could.
The sound of running feet and the door opening came just as Rex jumped off of her and stood with his arms crossed over his chest. “It’s alright, she thought she saw a rat.”
“What?” John huffed out and looked at Ann, now sitting up on the table, her face in her hands.
She didn’t want her father to be angry at him, surely it was just a reckless moment, a second of madness that had made him act like that. She screwed up her face and wouldn’t look at her father as she confirmed Rex’s lie.
“It was just a shadow, but I thought it might be a rat. Aren’t rats and cockroaches supposed to be the only things that would survive this kind of stuff?” She even managed to huff out something like a chuckle at the end, but she wouldn’t meet anyone’s eye. She couldn’t.
“Ann, are you alright?” Mary rushed past John and Stephan to push Rex out of her way.
Mary took Ann’s face in her hands and looked her daughter over. Ann couldn’t hide the tears in her eyes and brushed them away with a rueful laugh. “It was just me being silly, Mom. Nothing to worry over.”
Mary’s eyes slid slightly in the direction of Rex and then came back to Ann. She turned then and told the men to go back to whatever they’d been doing. She wanted to talk to Ann alone. The men left and closed the door behind them quietly.
When she was certain they were alone, Mary pulled up the utility chair the doctor would have sat in while he examined his patients. Now beside her daughter, she looked up and took the young woman’s hands.
“Tell me if he’s bothering you, Ann.”
“It wasn’t that, Mom. It was a rat,” she started but stopped when she saw the look on her Mom’s face.
“You’ve never been afraid of animals or insects, Ann. Tell me. Is Rex bothering you?”
“Mom, you know I’ve had a crush on him my whole life. It’s normal, isn’t it? Besides, we’re the only people our age that might be alive. The only people we’ve met so far are two old ladies, a little boy, and some soldiers we saw. He might be my only chance to have a husband and family.”
“That doesn’t mean he gets to do what he wants with you!” Mary spat out, anger in her voice, but not directed at her daughter. “Ann, I know you were sheltered down in that bunker, but you know what sex is, right?”
“Mom!” Ann shot out, indignation laced the word. “Of course, I do, but really. I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Ann, if he’s trying to make you have sex, then it’s wrong. Even if he is the only man your age left on the planet, you shouldn’t be forced to do anything with him that you don’t want to do.”
“It’s not like that…” she tried to say, but her Mom was right. “He’s changed since we left the bunker.”
“He has. I know. He was always a little pri…, um, I mean always kind of arrogant. No, I take that back, he was always a little prick to you, but you adored him, so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want you to be mad at me. But now? If he’s trying to make you have sex with him, honey, that’s wrong. That’s not love or anything like it.”
“Maybe I should think of it as an arranged marriage, now that he’s paying attention to me,” she said with a soft laugh, to try to ease her mother’s mind. “I know him, grew up with him. It’s better than the alternative of being alone and not having children.”
“Oh, honey, that’s not what I wanted at all for you in this life. I wanted so much for you.” Her tone was wistful and laced with sadness. “I wanted you to get your bachelor’s degree, and have a career, find out who you are, before you got married and settled down. Your dad and I were young when we got married and had you, but we knew who we were. We wanted you and the life we were building. I wanted the same for you. Not this… bullshit we’ve ended up with.”
Ann could remember, years ago, before the end of the world came along, how her mother would sometimes swear, but she’d always cringed when she did it. Now, she didn’t cringe at all. Anger at fate, at this new world, had changed them all, and Ann had the feeling her normally quiet, introverted mother was suddenly becoming someone much more demanding and in control.
“What do you think I should do, then, Mom?” Ann asked, unsure.
She’d never had a boyfriend, and she’d never been kissed, not until Rex kissed her. Her only example of male-female relations was what she’d witnessed before they’d gone in the bunker, and what she’d seen from the two sets of parents she’d been cooped up with. Both seemed to be built on trust and respect, something she and Rex lacked.
“If you want to take your chances, and settle for Rex, I think you’ll have to grow one major backbone, and use a baseball bat on him. Failing that, you’ll have to rely on your father and me to keep him in line. And I suspect his own parents. Amanda and Stephan won’t let him treat you badly.”
“I hope not. I’m so confused, Mom. I really don’t know what to do.”
“The thing you’re forgetting here, Ann, is that you don’t have to do anything. You can put him off, tell him no and to fuck off, or you can agree to what he wants. Either way, the choice is yours. I’d say, for now, put him off until you know for sure what you want. It’s not like he has any other choice.”
“You’re right,” she said, with a real smile this time. “I just wish he’d back off a little bit.”
Ann started to speak, to say more now that they were having this rather frank discussion, but she stopped. She wanted to talk to her Mom about the dreams, but something held her back. Something told her she wasn’t supposed to say a word about the man that came to her every single night in those dreams she had.
“I’m glad you came to talk to me, Mom. I still don’t know what I want to do, but I feel better now. Not so alone.” She pulled her mom up from the chair and the two cuddled together on their sides, spoon fashion, on the tiny padded table. They hadn’t done that in a long time.
It felt nice to wrap herself around her mom. When she was younger, her mom would wrap around her much smaller daughter. Ann had always felt protected then, cocooned from the world and safely tucked away. Now, she realized her own strength and abilities. Cuddling with her mom drove home the point that she was an adult now, and she had to stand up for herself. Not just where Rex was concerned but in all facets of her life.
“You are a strong person, Ann. You always have been, baby. Don’t let some stupid boy, because that’s all he is still, a little boy no more mature than poor little Ricardo, drag you down. There’s a whole world out there waiting for you to discover it. Don’t settle for the first thing that comes along, my dear. Stay strong and find your true happiness.”
Ann agreed with her mother, up to a point. She had to be sensible, strong, and logical to make it in this new world. They still didn’t know a lot about what had caused the thawing, or the air to clear up, but she knew it was something major. And maybe, just maybe, there was something more for her out there than Rex had to offer. Maybe.
9
Ann’s feet were sore, and her thighs ached with the fire of a million ant stings. Or what she thought that many ant stings would feel like. Every part of her hurt and she had come to hate the pack she wore on her back. After a week, it would be safe to think that you should be used to walking miles every single day.
