Infinite pieces volume 4, p.2

Infinite Pieces Volume 4, page 2

 

Infinite Pieces Volume 4
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“I’ll be happier when I’m not worried that my parents are gonna see you and then kill me.” Kimi closed the window, then opened it again real fast and flashed me a smile to let me know she wasn’t pissed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay,” I said to the closed window.

  Monday was better. Kimi’s parents took her to school like always, but I drove her home, which I got to do every so often, and that was nice. She was chatty, even more so than usual, and telling me all sorts of stories. Even though she seemed extra happy, I couldn’t get her to do anything dirty in the truck. By the time I dropped her off, she seemed almost irritated with me.

  I must have messed up, because Tuesday was worse. I didn’t see her before school, and it felt like she was avoiding me at lunch. My Kimi seemed to want to talk to everyone but me. But she was standing in front of the flagpole after school. I started to walk over and even called out “Kimi!” on my way.

  All I got was a goodbye with her hand as she climbed into her parents’ car.

  I got to see Kimi both before and after school on Wednesday, and she seemed excited to see me both times. Got a long, wet kiss during the second one. Like she wanted to be mine again. But then I couldn’t find her at lunch, and she didn’t want a ride home.

  Things got strange on Thursday. Not just different, but weird.

  I started thinking about the way Kimi looked when she was getting in her parents’ car. Her eyes were almost dazed. Like they were a million miles away. Or maybe light years away.

  Because my girl’s behavior was almost alien. Reclusive. And Kimi wasn’t like that. When we’d go to the movies, I could barely get her to stop talking. People were always shushing us, and we got kicked out of the Brookline twice. Now she was mute and sullen, more withdrawn than I’ve ever seen her.

  At first, I wrote it off as processing what happened. I couldn’t deny that being weird as hell, that purple amethyst whatever from the sky. But then I got to wondering if maybe it was affecting her somehow. Changing her behavior in some way. I’d seen stuff like that in movies, and it didn’t seem all that far-fetched to me, now that it was happening.

  I thought about the way she pocketed the rock. Almost possessive.

  It would have been nice if she was that possessive with me.

  A good conversation was the best way through any situation, not that my dad would ever agree. Or Tyler. But Kimi always did. That’s just one of the reasons we got along so well. We’d have our little back-and-forth. She’d slap me on the arm, all playful and sexy.

  I figured we could talk about it on Friday, but Kimi didn’t want to. And she got mad when I tried. Like real mad. The slap didn’t even feel all that playful.

  “What’s your deal, Vic?” Her hands were on her hips, and she was glaring me down. It was the first time I ever thought Kimi looked like her mother.

  “I don’t have any deal,” I said, surprised by how fast the exchange had decomposed. “I’m just trying to talk to you. I’m worried about you.”

  I tried to touch her, but that didn’t work. Usually that was the way to get her melting into me. Or the other way around. Touch turned her pliable. But not this time.

  She flinched. Pulled away like she wanted nothing to do with me.

  “Just hear me out.” Was I gonna start begging my own girlfriend to talk to me? “Maybe that weird purple rock did something to you. You know, like maybe⁠—”

  “Stop it, Vic.” Now she looked really upset. “Please. You’ve been talking about that thing ever since we saw it. Why won’t you let it go? It’s just a weird rock that fell from the sky.”

  “Maybe it’s something more than that,” I said, marrow-certain that it was. “Why don’t you get rid of the thing, just in case?”

  “Because it’s mine.”

  She sounded a little like Gollum.

  “Kimi …” I reached for her again.

  But she walked away. She’d never done that before.

  I went from worried to worse. I didn’t even know why, because I hadn’t ever felt anything like it. I just knew I had things to take care of. Kimi was the only good thing that ever really happened to me, other than getting Bessie.

  I went over to her house the next day, parked across the street, circled the block … killing time waiting for her parents to leave or for her to maybe go for a walk like she sometimes did when she wanted a soda. Her parents didn’t keep any in the house, but the corner store three blocks up near Vanguard carried a couple of local brands that she liked a lot and Mexican Coke, which I thought was too sweet. That’s why she liked it.

  But her parents didn’t go anywhere all day, and neither did Kimi. By that time, I was starting to worry about her. And I mean really worry. Not just about us, even though it made me sick to my stomach that things were weird in a way that they never had been before. I couldn’t stop thinking about that rock and what I was sure it was doing to my Kimi.

  Maybe it had stabbed her, and maybe I was an idiot. Maybe I should have listened.

  The thing might have done something to her mind. Because she seemed to be a little less my Kimi by the day. The way we left things on Friday, she didn’t even want to look at me.

  I couldn’t take it. I had to say something. Unfortunately, I waited too long. If I knocked on her door or threw a pebble at her window right now, Kimi would probably go off on me.

  So I went home and got a good Saturday night’s worth of sleep. At least that was the plan. But I tossed and turned for hours, even after stealing a few nips of my father’s whiskey. No dice. Not even after I jerked off the second time. I was too agitated. Stuck between the twin worries of thinking I was probably paranoid and knowing in my heart I wasn’t.

  That thing from space was somehow changing my Kimi.

  I ended up falling asleep around six in the morning. My brain was still going, but I guess my body needed a break. The timing was perfect I suppose, since I woke up just as the service was ending. I was probably parking six blocks from her house by the time her parents were pulling into the drive.

  I made the walk in record time. Tossed one pebble, waited. Threw the second. No response. Then the third. If Kimi didn’t come to the window, I’d eventually throw a whole handful. And she must have known it, the way the curtains blustered about and the sash flew up as though greased.

  My heart was broken, looking up at Kimi scowling down. “What are you doing, Vic?”

  “I want to talk.”

  “You always want to talk!”

  “Why won’t you just get rid of it, Kimi?”

  “Why don’t you just drop it? It’s the principle of the thing. I shouldn’t have to get rid of something just because you don’t like it. That doesn’t set a very good precedent for a life together, now does it?”

  Not when she put it like that.

  “Fine. I won’t say anything about it. But I still want to talk.”

  “You look terrible.”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t sleep much. That’s why I want to talk. I need to make sure everything’s okay between us.”

  “Everything’s fine. It’s just been a rough couple of days. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?” Kimi didn’t look like things were fine.

  “Can’t we just talk for a couple of minutes?”

  “I don’t want my parents to know you’re here.”

  “Say you’re going for a walk. Come on, just to Lotty’s and back. I’ll buy you a Mexican Coke.”

  Kimi took a moment to think, then she said, “Fine. Give me a minute.”

  I took her hand as we passed the first stop sign. Kimi reluctantly let me.

  I wondered if she had it with her, maybe in her pocket. If I could get her to let me put my arm around her waist, I could slip my hand in and take it from her without even knowing. For her own good.

  We walked in silence until she said, “So, what do you want to talk about?”

  All I really wanted to talk about was the rock and how I wanted my Kimi back. I didn’t want to sound like a jerk or anything, but I had to figure out a way to ask her why she was acting like she was without making her mad at me.

  “You came over and got me to walk with you just to give me the silent treatment?”

  “No.”

  “Well, you said you wanted to talk, and we’re not doing that, so …”

  “You told me I couldn’t say anything about the rock. I’m just⁠—”

  “Oh, my God, Vic, are you kidding me? You’re really not going to drop this, are you?”

  “I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal about it.”

  “You’re the one making a big deal about it! I’m just standing up for myself. I don’t like the idea of you telling me you don’t like something, then expecting me to get rid of it even though it interests me. What if I went into your room and said, ‘Hey Vic, I’m not sure how I feel about your guitar, so I think you need to get rid of it?’”

  “It’s not the same.”

  “How is it different?”

  I could feel myself sweating. My hands, my pits, and my brow. I’m sure Kimi could see it, too. I was out on the ledge. She didn’t want to talk about it, and I definitely knew she wouldn’t want to hear what I thought about the way she’d been acting.

  But I’m not sure I had another choice. We were at a standoff. I saw where Kimi was coming from, about not wanting me to hold dominion over her decisions. But that’s not what I was trying to do. It bothered me that she couldn’t feel the danger of that thing.

  Maybe that was the way to go about this. To straight out ask her if she felt anything weird from the thing. After all, she’s the one who said that it stabbed her.

  Then again, if that part of the conversation went sideways, which it almost for sure would, I would be even worse off than I was when I got into my truck that morning.

  She looked me up and down then said, “You smell awful, you know.”

  That felt like a slap.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve never smelled you like that before.”

  “Like B.O.?”

  “And whiskey. I know you didn’t brush your teeth.”

  “I’m double sorry, okay?”

  “I don’t care if you’re triple sorry, Vic. Just say what you need to say.”

  We were almost to Lotty’s. I stopped walking. Put my hand on her arm and turned Kimi toward me. She flinched away from my touch and fell a step back.

  Kimi looked surprised.

  I felt the same. “Just tell me why you’ve been so weird lately.”

  She looked at me like I was crazy. “You’ve been acting weird ever since we got back from the barn. You were never all possessive like that before.”

  “I never had any reason to be.”

  “You don’t have any reason to be now.”

  “Sure I do. What about the rock?”

  “What about it?” Kimi’s hands were balled into fists. Her eyes were squinted. I couldn’t tell if she was about to scream or cry or punch me. “I found something pretty that fell from the sky and I want to keep it. Why do you have to be such an asshole about that?”

  “I’m just worried about you.”

  “Worried about what?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. But so what? That didn’t mean there wasn’t anything there to worry about.

  Kimi looked so mad. I probably should have dropped it. Instead, I said, “Just think about it. Did you feel any different when you got home on Saturday night? Did you touch the rock again? Did it stab you? Just tell me that, and I’ll leave it all alone.”

  Kimi looked like she wanted to rip my head off. “No. I never touched it again. It’s in the jewelry box on my dresser where I left it Saturday night. The only time I even think about it is when you’re being all weird and won’t leave it alone. Does that answer your question? Now can we drop it?”

  I wanted to, and I would have. But I could tell that Kimi was lying. We’ve been together since middle school. I knew her tells. When she couldn’t meet my eyes or stand still, then there was a better-than-excellent chance she wasn’t telling the truth.

  Problem was, I’d only seen Kimi do that in front of her parents. Never between us. That rock had a hold on her, and I knew it. Its danger filled me like a warning. Get that rock from Kimi. I bet she had it on her. In one of her pockets.

  “Maybe you could give it to me, just for twenty-four hours, and see if you feel any different?”

  “I don’t feel any different now!” She made the fastest about-face I’d ever seen. Started marching back toward home.

  I ran behind her, but she didn’t want me near her. Kimi was on cross country, but I wasn’t and didn’t stand a chance of catching up.

  By the time I was standing outside her house and looking up at her window, my stomach couldn’t make room for anything but despair. Kimi’s curtains looked more closed than should have been possible.

  I wondered if the rock was really in her jewelry box. I doubted it. I imagined her sitting cross-legged on her bed, holding it in both cupped hands, staring at it like it was the most precious thing she’d ever seen.

  My Kimi, stolen by a space rock.

  But there was nothing I could do about it right now, so no point in standing in her yard. I couldn’t go home, either. It was Sunday, so Dad and Tyler would both be there and probably drunk. If I was gonna get beat up on, I’d rather get pummeled by my Kimi.

  So I waited until the sun went down, not walking back to Bessie, but still walking nonetheless. A mile here and there until I had around a dozen or so and figured it was safe to circle back.

  I threw one pebble, and then the next. I got to a handful fast. But Kimi still didn’t come to the window.

  Now we had to talk.

  It wasn’t just about the rock. She could keep it. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay between us. I couldn’t lose Kimi. That would leave me with nothing.

  I knocked on the door. No answer.

  I knocked again. And again. And again.

  Then it opened. Mr. Wallace was holding a rifle, the stock pressed to his chest. “Can I help you with something, Vic?”

  Only time I ever had to negotiate with an armed man, I was dealing with my old man. Scared as I was, I knew deep in my heart he’d never shoot me. But in this case I wasn’t so sure, looking up at Mr. Wallace. I was mostly grown already, if not all the way, but Kimi’s dad had a few inches on me. From where I was standing, those inches felt like a foot.

  “I was hoping I could talk to Kimi.”

  He stared straight down at me.

  Was the gun actually loaded? How much did he want to show me?

  I looked up at him, hopeful. I could see where he was coming from, with me pounding on the door asking to talk to his daughter after throwing rocks up in her window for a half hour or so.

  I’d want to protect my daughter, too. But if I could help him see things from my side, then maybe he’d realize I was only trying to protect my Kimi.

  “Can you give her a message for me?”

  I never got a chance to tell Mr. Wallace what that message would be.

  “How about I give you a message, son. You step off of my front porch right now, and if I see you here again, or anywhere around Kimi, or if she tells me that you been giving her a hard time, just know that I have a smaller one of these” — he looked down at the rifle then back up at me — “the kind that fits in my pocket.”

  I guess Mr. Wallace wasn’t as religious as I thought.

  Maybe Monday would be better, with us being back in school and all. But I was wrong. I tried to find Kimi in all of her regular places, but she was avoiding me.

  Seemed like everyone else was, too. I wondered if she told people to stay away from me. Or maybe it was because Kimi was right and I smelled terrible. I’d taken a short shower when I got home Sunday, after she made me feel bad about my reeking, but I didn’t put much effort into it, then went back to pilfering sips of the whiskey. Maybe that was it. Not too smart if I wanted Kimi to talk, but I was going out of my mind and didn’t know what else to do.

  I ditched my last class, determined to get her alone for at least a minute or so before she went home. I had a fifty-fifty shot of her taking the eastern or western exits. She had bio with Mr. Fry, and his room was in the middle. She always took the east exit then cut across the lawn. I thought maybe she would go the west one today since it was the opposite of her usual, but she’d had been throwing me off all day, so the best way to keep me crooked at the end would be going her normal way.

  I hid outside in the hedges, only moving when Ms. Lofgren came strolling by. I waited through the whole period in case my Kimi left early.

  She didn’t. But she did take the eastern exit.

  I dashed over the second I saw her.

  She was on alert. Turned, saw me, started walking faster.

  “Kimi, wait!”

  She didn’t.

  I had geography on my side, and I’d been ready, so I probably could have caught up, but then there would have been a scene. My Kimi could yell real loud when she wanted.

  Before I could pick between my two terrible choices, I saw Mr. Wallace behind the wheel of his Honda Accord, his full attention on his daughter. He hadn’t seen me yet, and despite my wanting to resolve things with my Kimi, that’s how I wanted to keep it.

  So I didn’t follow her.

  I’d never felt lonelier or more isolated. I missed her something fierce. We’d never really been separated since first getting together. Not emotionally. And the longest we ever went without seeing each other was the first winter break we were a couple, only because being together was still our little secret.

  Now I felt like lost.

  Maybe it was because I was so tired. Inside and out. I couldn’t think about anything else, so all of my waking time was occupied, but then I was still thinking about it at night when I couldn’t sleep. When I finally did, I had nightmares. Always about Kimi and that stupid rock. I was a week behind on all my homework. Every time I tried to get any of it done I would end up drawing pictures of her, writing her poems, or listing the evidence to prove all the ways she was pushing me out of her life.

  I know it probably sounds selfish, like it’s all just for me and my needs. But that isn’t true. I care more about Kimi than I ever cared about anyone. More than I cared about myself. Of course I needed her, but she needed me too.

 

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