Old Ties, page 11
Frankie wiped her tears away, kissing her, their tongues saying things words can’t express.
Finally Cleo said, “Take me to bed before I seduce you right here in the middle of this dirt field.”
“I’ll make love with you anywhere,” Frankie said, kissing her toward the back door.
* * *
Across town Romaine watched the kite bob and dive and finally crash to the ground, and she knew they’d found each other. She tried to be glad. She tried to hide the pang in her heart. It was letting go.
* * *
They slowly took each other’s clothes off, each trying to memorize what the first time would be like, the first touch, the first time she gazes upon her lover’s body, the first time she feels soft skin against soft skin.
Cleo gently pushed Frankie back on the bed and started to spread her legs.
“Wait a minute. I thought I was the top,” Frankie chided.
“Do you know how often I’ve thought of this? How long I’ve wanted to do this?” Cleo said softly.
“And I haven’t,” Frankie said, pulling Cleo to her.
Cleo kissed her and pushed her on the bed more insistently. “You’ll just have to wait your turn,” she said, kissing the insides of Frankie’s thighs.
“I could be persuaded,” Frankie said, feeling desire quicken her breathing and a low moan take hold as Cleo took her in her mouth.
Frankie ran her hand through Cleo’s hair and pulled her close. She felt her breathing quicken and knew this was where she wanted and needed to be, in the arms of the woman who would love her until the end. Frankie cried out and pulled Cleo to her, feeling the weight of her slim body on top of her.
“I want to feel you,” Frankie said, reaching inside Cleo’s wet thighs.
They wrapped their bodies around one another and played deep into the night until there seemed to be no end to loving. Each time one awakened to see the other lying there, she would scoop the other up in her arms and whisper “I love you” until sleep came again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The light seemed odd in the room when Frankie awoke. She looked around for Cleo, but heard only noises from downstairs in the kitchen. She got up and found a T-shirt. Softly, she padded downstairs to the kitchen, praying nothing had changed from last night.
Cleo looked up at her and smiled. Frankie walked into her willing arms.
“God, I thought I’d done you in,” Cleo said, brushing Frankie’s hair back from her face. “I kept going upstairs to see if you were still breathing.”
“How long have you been up?”
“All day.”
“What time is it?”
“Dinnertime. Aren’t you famished?”
“Dinnertime?” Frankie said, looking at the clock. “I slept all day?”
“Yes, darling. I hope this isn’t a habit of yours.”
“No, I haven’t been sleeping much lately,” Frankie replied, feeling a stab of guilt, thinking of her San Francisco liaison.
“I love you,” Cleo said, holding her tight. “I thought about you all day. I couldn’t quite believe that you were upstairs in my bed.”
“Are you glad?”
“Very glad.”
“Me too.”
“Do you want to take a bath while I finish up?” Cleo asked.
“Why? Do I stink?”
“You smell well loved,” Cleo said, pushing her away gently.
“Take one with me,” Frankie said, pulling her in close again.
“I’ve got to watch dinner. It’s our first romantic dinner together. Go look at the living room.”
Frankie went to see. The low table with cushions had been set with a white linen tablecloth and a silver candelabra with eight candles.
“What were all the other dinners we had together?” Frankie asked, turning back around to Cleo.
“Those were preludes, promises of what might be. This is the real thing.”
“I like this way better,” Frankie said, kissing her.
Love is a strange thing, Frankie thought as she eased herself down into the steaming tub of water. One moment I’m in torment, the next in ecstasy. It’s no wonder people can’t stop falling in love. A morphine of the soul.
Cleo came in and washed her back.
“Better?” Frankie asked.
“Yes,” Cleo said, taking her hand and holding it against Frankie’s chest.
Frankie closed her eyes and wondered how she could ever have thought she could let this wonderful woman go.
They sat down to dinner. Frankie poured the wine and watched it sparkle in the candlelight. Cleo caught her eye. “It looks beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you.”
“I love you,” Cleo said, taking Frankie’s face in her hands.
“You’re a romantic at heart.”
“As you will come to find out.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. Romance for the rest of your days. If you want.”
“I want,” Frankie said, kissing her. “The only thing I’m really hungry for right now is you.”
“Are you implying the food’s not good?” Cleo chided, as Frankie moved closer, pushing back, kissing her neck.
“No, not at all, only you’re better,” Frankie said. She pulled Cleo’s shirt off and took a breast in her mouth, then kissed her stomach before pulling her shorts off.
“I love your body,” Frankie said, running her hands across Cleo’s taut stomach. She lifted Cleo’s hips higher, diving deep inside her with her mouth, watching Cleo close her eyes and melt with the moment. They finished dinner later, feeding each other, kissing in between.
Afterward, when they lay glistening together in the candlelight, Cleo asked, “Did you enjoy your first romantic dinner?”
“Very much,” Frankie murmured.
* * *
They spent a whole week doing this.
“People are going to talk,” Frankie said.
“Let them,” Cleo said, wrapping her arms around Frankie as they lay on a blanket in the backyard, watching the clouds go by and guessing at their shapes.
They heard footsteps crunching on the rock path. It was Alice.
She smiled at them. “The community at large has asked that I come check on you two to see if you’ve fucked each other to death. It has been a week since anyone has seen you. Is this a vacation or a honeymoon?”
Frankie leaned up on one elbow. “I don’t know. She hasn’t asked.”
“You haven’t asked either,” Cleo said, sitting up.
“It would be nice if you two would come around occasionally,” Alice said.
“We will soon,” Cleo responded, taking Frankie’s hand and kissing it. She was just about to fall into Frankie’s eyes when Alice stopped her.
“Whoa, before you two get going again, why don’t you come have a beer? It’ll do you good to get some air. I’m not taking no for an answer. So get your butts up and come with,” Alice said, tugging on Cleo’s hand.
“All right already, one beer,” Cleo said.
“It won’t break the spell, I promise. You’ll still be in love when you get back,” Alice assured them.
Under duress they followed. Cleo recognized cars in the parking lot and glared at Alice.
“You didn’t say the community at large would also be attending,” Cleo said.
“Must have slipped my mind. They won’t hurt you.”
Cleo took Frankie’s hand.
“Oh my god, the lovers make an appearance,” Romaine said.
“We were about to send out a search party,” Ella said.
“I’m sorry, Ella. I should have called,” Frankie said, giving her a hug.
“I’m just glad things worked out,” Ella said, smiling and patting Frankie on the back.
“Bobbi,” Cleo said, hugging her.
“It appears she’s forgiven us,” Romaine said.
“I had to come see the woman who finally got your heart,” Bobbi said, taking Frankie’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Frankie said.
Alice got them drinks and they settled back to visit. But Frankie’s thoughts kept straying. She found herself staring at Cleo and seeing her naked, responding to her touch. She saw her face as she closed her eyes in pleasure. She kept marveling at how she could touch her now, how tonight she would hold Cleo in her arms, beneath covers, smooth skin touching. Cleo reached out and took her hand beneath the table. Frankie’s long, cool fingers closed in on her own.
Bobbi watched them and caught Romaine’s eye, knowing they both felt a pang for it. Frankie had the one woman they’d both loved.
Romaine got up and poured herself another drink. Bobbi followed.
“This hurts, doesn’t it,” Bobbi said quietly. Romaine looked at her, feeling the flood of damage she had imposed.
“Yes, it hurts. Hurts like hell. When are you going to find some incredible woman to bring around and remind me of what fool I was?” Romaine said ruefully.
“I tried, remember. She wouldn’t have me. She only wanted you.”
“Yeah, and I botched it,” Romaine said, making a martini.
“Make me one of those, will you?” Bobbi said.
“This isn’t easy for you either,” Romaine said, looking at her softly.
“No, I loved you both and lost you both. I won’t recover any time soon,” Bobbi said.
“Another casualty in this war of hearts. Perhaps now that it’s done, you’ll be the last one. Not that that makes it any easier for you,” Romaine said, looking across the bar at Cynthia.
“No, it doesn’t,” Bobbi said, taking her drink and joining the others. She’d never forgive Romaine for coming into her life, for making her love her, for leaving, for letting Cleo get close and then walking away. She loved both of them, and somehow she couldn’t get either one of them out of her system.
Romaine finally got disgusted and dismissed Frankie and Cleo.
“You two go home, fuck some more until you’re thoroughly sick of each other, and then come back around. Right now you’re hopeless,” Romaine said, pushing them to the door. Gladly, they left, kissing frantically the moment they were alone as if it had been too long already.
* * *
Romaine and Cynthia left shortly after.
“I know this is hard for you,” Cynthia said, squeezing Romaine’s hand.
Romaine nodded and let her into the car. She tried to compose herself before she got in. Romaine didn’t want Cynthia to see her hurting.
“You know what’s the worst part, the hardest part to take, is the way Cleo looks at her, the look of total love. She used to look at me that way until I started hurting her,” Romaine said, swallowing hard.
“Someone looks at you that way now,” Cynthia said, turning Romaine’s head. “I do.”
Romaine scooped Cynthia up in her arms. She kissed her face, her eyes, her mouth.
* * *
Alice poured Ella another drink. “So you think it’ll work?”
“This swapping partners stuff? I hope so. I think Cleo and Romaine have gone too far to come back now. They’ve got to cut the cord or kill themselves trying,” Ella said.
“It’s the ones in between I worry about. I don’t want Cynthia and Frankie to be like the others,” Alice said, knitting her brow and silently praying Cupid was right for once. He seemed notorious for misdirections.
* * *
Frankie grabbed Cleo the moment they walked in the door.
“You’ve been away much too long,” Frankie said, nuzzling Cleo’s neck and steadily working her way down until she found a breast to suckle. Then Frankie reached lower.
“I was right next to you the whole time,” Cleo said, as Frankie happily found her wet and willing.
“Yes, close but not close enough,” Frankie said, closing her eyes and flattening Cleo against the closet door.
Cleo thought her knees would give out, yet she pulled Frankie closer and dipped her hand into loosened jeans, her fingers going quickly inside, making Frankie cry out.
“I don’t think I’ve ever made love there,” Cleo said, holding Frankie tight, her body slowly relaxing.
“Now will you take a bath with me?” Frankie said smiling.
“I’d love to,” Cleo said, taking her hand and leading her upstairs.
* * *
Frankie was lying on Cleo’s stomach in the hot soapy bath.
“I was thinking…” Cleo said.
“Yes,” Frankie said, snuggling up close.
“You know, when Ella asked you about coming home.”
“I probably should make an appearance soon. I have been borrowing clothes for a week now.”
“I know, but I want you to make this your home,” Cleo said, looking serious. She’d thought about it last night as she listened to Frankie’s even breathing, as she gazed on her face. She needed to jump, plunge into all she was afraid of. Strange, she almost understood Romaine for half a second, her holding women at arm’s length, afraid of getting close because their experience of closeness had always threatened to suffocate them both. Living with your lover was the only real way to get close. But could you get that and not suffocate? Cleo was willing to try.
“Sounds like an awfully big step,” Frankie said.
“But look at all the trouble taking small steps created. I don’t want to date. I want us to be together, like a couple.”
“Like married?” Frankie said, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.
“No. Romaine and I were married, and look where that got us. More like commitment,” Cleo said.
“You mean I don’t get to be your wife? You wound me to the core,” Frankie said, putting her hand over her heart.
“I want you to be my partner, my best friend, my lover.”
“Is that better than being a wife?”
“Much.”
“All right then, I’ll think about it,” Frankie said.
Cleo’s face went serious. “You’ll think about it?”
“There is all my furniture to consider,” Frankie replied.
“Furniture, what furniture? If you don’t want to live here, we could find somewhere else.”
“Cleo, I love this house. I love you. I’m messing around, diffusing the seriousness. I’m scared. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to try. I want to, I do.”
Cleo cupped her hands softly around Frankie’s buttocks and drew her near.
“I was hoping you would.”
* * *
Later in the dark, Frankie said, “Cleo?”
“Yes.”
“I really do want to live with you. I can’t imagine dating. It just doesn’t seem like something we could do. I’m either with you or not, but I couldn’t stand to be halfway.”
Cleo pulled her close. “Neither could I.”
“Can you stand me as a roommate?”
“Well, you appear to be relatively neat, and you love my cooking. Those are my two most important requirements.”
“Would you still love me if I wasn’t neat?”
“It would be difficult, but I’d try. Why? Have you been faking neatness all this time?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Are you scared?”
“Yes.”
“Me too. But we’ll talk about things. Okay?”
“Will you come with me on the road sometimes?”
“Are you afraid to leave me in town?”
“No. I trust you, and I think I understand what happened. I want the sensation of having you there with me, watching. I want to come offstage and have the woman I love standing there. I know it’s weird, but when I’m done, I feel so vulnerable. I want you to hold me and make me strong again. Is that odd?”
“No, it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”
“Show me,” Frankie said, sliding her hand in between Cleo’s legs.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Frankie stood on the deck and watched the sunset. Thinking back to her sojourn on the beach, to having Sunday dinners with her wife’s ex-wife, she laughed. She had never thought this would happen. Life always produced those strange turnarounds just when you thought impossibility lay etched in some primordial stone. Like a stick caught in a river, fluidity grabbed you and off you went, riding the crest of the obstacle. Change proved nothing was truly stable, nothing fixed enough to ever achieve permanence. Hang around in your life long enough and it too will change.
They were having dinner at Romaine and Cynthia’s new house. Romaine finally got the house in the hills that she always wanted. As they had driven up there, Frankie had asked Cleo if she wanted a house in the hills.
Cleo had put her hand on Frankie’s knee. “No, darling. I like it simple.”
“Is that why you like me? ’Cause I’m simple?”
“You’re far from simple. You’re my complex musician with an eye for the sardonic. I wouldn’t call that simple. I listen to the words. I know better than to think what’s on the surface is all that’s there.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“What are trying to do, tell me it’s over?” Cleo said, looking slightly alarmed.
Frankie looked down at her hands. “No. I love you more than ever. I’m just nervous about this dinner thing.”
“Why didn’t you say so? We didn’t have to go.”
“I know. Romaine makes me nervous. She intimidates me.”
Cleo took her hand as they rounded the bend. “You’re twice the woman she’ll ever be, and I’ve never been this happy.”
“I know. It’s just that you two have so much past. I feel like a newcomer, and I don’t know where I fit in.”
Cleo pulled the car over to the side of the road. “Get out.”
“Are you throwing me out?”
“No, I want to do something. Come on.”
They stood on the side of the mountain.
“You don’t suffer from vertigo, do you?”
“Sometimes,” Frankie said, looking down at the sharp, stone-studded incline.
“Don’t look down. Raise your right hand,” Cleo instructed.
Frankie obeyed. “What are we doing?”
“It’s called the promise prayer.”
“Is this something you and Romaine did?”
“No, this is something you and I are doing.”
Finally Cleo said, “Take me to bed before I seduce you right here in the middle of this dirt field.”
“I’ll make love with you anywhere,” Frankie said, kissing her toward the back door.
* * *
Across town Romaine watched the kite bob and dive and finally crash to the ground, and she knew they’d found each other. She tried to be glad. She tried to hide the pang in her heart. It was letting go.
* * *
They slowly took each other’s clothes off, each trying to memorize what the first time would be like, the first touch, the first time she gazes upon her lover’s body, the first time she feels soft skin against soft skin.
Cleo gently pushed Frankie back on the bed and started to spread her legs.
“Wait a minute. I thought I was the top,” Frankie chided.
“Do you know how often I’ve thought of this? How long I’ve wanted to do this?” Cleo said softly.
“And I haven’t,” Frankie said, pulling Cleo to her.
Cleo kissed her and pushed her on the bed more insistently. “You’ll just have to wait your turn,” she said, kissing the insides of Frankie’s thighs.
“I could be persuaded,” Frankie said, feeling desire quicken her breathing and a low moan take hold as Cleo took her in her mouth.
Frankie ran her hand through Cleo’s hair and pulled her close. She felt her breathing quicken and knew this was where she wanted and needed to be, in the arms of the woman who would love her until the end. Frankie cried out and pulled Cleo to her, feeling the weight of her slim body on top of her.
“I want to feel you,” Frankie said, reaching inside Cleo’s wet thighs.
They wrapped their bodies around one another and played deep into the night until there seemed to be no end to loving. Each time one awakened to see the other lying there, she would scoop the other up in her arms and whisper “I love you” until sleep came again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The light seemed odd in the room when Frankie awoke. She looked around for Cleo, but heard only noises from downstairs in the kitchen. She got up and found a T-shirt. Softly, she padded downstairs to the kitchen, praying nothing had changed from last night.
Cleo looked up at her and smiled. Frankie walked into her willing arms.
“God, I thought I’d done you in,” Cleo said, brushing Frankie’s hair back from her face. “I kept going upstairs to see if you were still breathing.”
“How long have you been up?”
“All day.”
“What time is it?”
“Dinnertime. Aren’t you famished?”
“Dinnertime?” Frankie said, looking at the clock. “I slept all day?”
“Yes, darling. I hope this isn’t a habit of yours.”
“No, I haven’t been sleeping much lately,” Frankie replied, feeling a stab of guilt, thinking of her San Francisco liaison.
“I love you,” Cleo said, holding her tight. “I thought about you all day. I couldn’t quite believe that you were upstairs in my bed.”
“Are you glad?”
“Very glad.”
“Me too.”
“Do you want to take a bath while I finish up?” Cleo asked.
“Why? Do I stink?”
“You smell well loved,” Cleo said, pushing her away gently.
“Take one with me,” Frankie said, pulling her in close again.
“I’ve got to watch dinner. It’s our first romantic dinner together. Go look at the living room.”
Frankie went to see. The low table with cushions had been set with a white linen tablecloth and a silver candelabra with eight candles.
“What were all the other dinners we had together?” Frankie asked, turning back around to Cleo.
“Those were preludes, promises of what might be. This is the real thing.”
“I like this way better,” Frankie said, kissing her.
Love is a strange thing, Frankie thought as she eased herself down into the steaming tub of water. One moment I’m in torment, the next in ecstasy. It’s no wonder people can’t stop falling in love. A morphine of the soul.
Cleo came in and washed her back.
“Better?” Frankie asked.
“Yes,” Cleo said, taking her hand and holding it against Frankie’s chest.
Frankie closed her eyes and wondered how she could ever have thought she could let this wonderful woman go.
They sat down to dinner. Frankie poured the wine and watched it sparkle in the candlelight. Cleo caught her eye. “It looks beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you.”
“I love you,” Cleo said, taking Frankie’s face in her hands.
“You’re a romantic at heart.”
“As you will come to find out.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. Romance for the rest of your days. If you want.”
“I want,” Frankie said, kissing her. “The only thing I’m really hungry for right now is you.”
“Are you implying the food’s not good?” Cleo chided, as Frankie moved closer, pushing back, kissing her neck.
“No, not at all, only you’re better,” Frankie said. She pulled Cleo’s shirt off and took a breast in her mouth, then kissed her stomach before pulling her shorts off.
“I love your body,” Frankie said, running her hands across Cleo’s taut stomach. She lifted Cleo’s hips higher, diving deep inside her with her mouth, watching Cleo close her eyes and melt with the moment. They finished dinner later, feeding each other, kissing in between.
Afterward, when they lay glistening together in the candlelight, Cleo asked, “Did you enjoy your first romantic dinner?”
“Very much,” Frankie murmured.
* * *
They spent a whole week doing this.
“People are going to talk,” Frankie said.
“Let them,” Cleo said, wrapping her arms around Frankie as they lay on a blanket in the backyard, watching the clouds go by and guessing at their shapes.
They heard footsteps crunching on the rock path. It was Alice.
She smiled at them. “The community at large has asked that I come check on you two to see if you’ve fucked each other to death. It has been a week since anyone has seen you. Is this a vacation or a honeymoon?”
Frankie leaned up on one elbow. “I don’t know. She hasn’t asked.”
“You haven’t asked either,” Cleo said, sitting up.
“It would be nice if you two would come around occasionally,” Alice said.
“We will soon,” Cleo responded, taking Frankie’s hand and kissing it. She was just about to fall into Frankie’s eyes when Alice stopped her.
“Whoa, before you two get going again, why don’t you come have a beer? It’ll do you good to get some air. I’m not taking no for an answer. So get your butts up and come with,” Alice said, tugging on Cleo’s hand.
“All right already, one beer,” Cleo said.
“It won’t break the spell, I promise. You’ll still be in love when you get back,” Alice assured them.
Under duress they followed. Cleo recognized cars in the parking lot and glared at Alice.
“You didn’t say the community at large would also be attending,” Cleo said.
“Must have slipped my mind. They won’t hurt you.”
Cleo took Frankie’s hand.
“Oh my god, the lovers make an appearance,” Romaine said.
“We were about to send out a search party,” Ella said.
“I’m sorry, Ella. I should have called,” Frankie said, giving her a hug.
“I’m just glad things worked out,” Ella said, smiling and patting Frankie on the back.
“Bobbi,” Cleo said, hugging her.
“It appears she’s forgiven us,” Romaine said.
“I had to come see the woman who finally got your heart,” Bobbi said, taking Frankie’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Frankie said.
Alice got them drinks and they settled back to visit. But Frankie’s thoughts kept straying. She found herself staring at Cleo and seeing her naked, responding to her touch. She saw her face as she closed her eyes in pleasure. She kept marveling at how she could touch her now, how tonight she would hold Cleo in her arms, beneath covers, smooth skin touching. Cleo reached out and took her hand beneath the table. Frankie’s long, cool fingers closed in on her own.
Bobbi watched them and caught Romaine’s eye, knowing they both felt a pang for it. Frankie had the one woman they’d both loved.
Romaine got up and poured herself another drink. Bobbi followed.
“This hurts, doesn’t it,” Bobbi said quietly. Romaine looked at her, feeling the flood of damage she had imposed.
“Yes, it hurts. Hurts like hell. When are you going to find some incredible woman to bring around and remind me of what fool I was?” Romaine said ruefully.
“I tried, remember. She wouldn’t have me. She only wanted you.”
“Yeah, and I botched it,” Romaine said, making a martini.
“Make me one of those, will you?” Bobbi said.
“This isn’t easy for you either,” Romaine said, looking at her softly.
“No, I loved you both and lost you both. I won’t recover any time soon,” Bobbi said.
“Another casualty in this war of hearts. Perhaps now that it’s done, you’ll be the last one. Not that that makes it any easier for you,” Romaine said, looking across the bar at Cynthia.
“No, it doesn’t,” Bobbi said, taking her drink and joining the others. She’d never forgive Romaine for coming into her life, for making her love her, for leaving, for letting Cleo get close and then walking away. She loved both of them, and somehow she couldn’t get either one of them out of her system.
Romaine finally got disgusted and dismissed Frankie and Cleo.
“You two go home, fuck some more until you’re thoroughly sick of each other, and then come back around. Right now you’re hopeless,” Romaine said, pushing them to the door. Gladly, they left, kissing frantically the moment they were alone as if it had been too long already.
* * *
Romaine and Cynthia left shortly after.
“I know this is hard for you,” Cynthia said, squeezing Romaine’s hand.
Romaine nodded and let her into the car. She tried to compose herself before she got in. Romaine didn’t want Cynthia to see her hurting.
“You know what’s the worst part, the hardest part to take, is the way Cleo looks at her, the look of total love. She used to look at me that way until I started hurting her,” Romaine said, swallowing hard.
“Someone looks at you that way now,” Cynthia said, turning Romaine’s head. “I do.”
Romaine scooped Cynthia up in her arms. She kissed her face, her eyes, her mouth.
* * *
Alice poured Ella another drink. “So you think it’ll work?”
“This swapping partners stuff? I hope so. I think Cleo and Romaine have gone too far to come back now. They’ve got to cut the cord or kill themselves trying,” Ella said.
“It’s the ones in between I worry about. I don’t want Cynthia and Frankie to be like the others,” Alice said, knitting her brow and silently praying Cupid was right for once. He seemed notorious for misdirections.
* * *
Frankie grabbed Cleo the moment they walked in the door.
“You’ve been away much too long,” Frankie said, nuzzling Cleo’s neck and steadily working her way down until she found a breast to suckle. Then Frankie reached lower.
“I was right next to you the whole time,” Cleo said, as Frankie happily found her wet and willing.
“Yes, close but not close enough,” Frankie said, closing her eyes and flattening Cleo against the closet door.
Cleo thought her knees would give out, yet she pulled Frankie closer and dipped her hand into loosened jeans, her fingers going quickly inside, making Frankie cry out.
“I don’t think I’ve ever made love there,” Cleo said, holding Frankie tight, her body slowly relaxing.
“Now will you take a bath with me?” Frankie said smiling.
“I’d love to,” Cleo said, taking her hand and leading her upstairs.
* * *
Frankie was lying on Cleo’s stomach in the hot soapy bath.
“I was thinking…” Cleo said.
“Yes,” Frankie said, snuggling up close.
“You know, when Ella asked you about coming home.”
“I probably should make an appearance soon. I have been borrowing clothes for a week now.”
“I know, but I want you to make this your home,” Cleo said, looking serious. She’d thought about it last night as she listened to Frankie’s even breathing, as she gazed on her face. She needed to jump, plunge into all she was afraid of. Strange, she almost understood Romaine for half a second, her holding women at arm’s length, afraid of getting close because their experience of closeness had always threatened to suffocate them both. Living with your lover was the only real way to get close. But could you get that and not suffocate? Cleo was willing to try.
“Sounds like an awfully big step,” Frankie said.
“But look at all the trouble taking small steps created. I don’t want to date. I want us to be together, like a couple.”
“Like married?” Frankie said, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.
“No. Romaine and I were married, and look where that got us. More like commitment,” Cleo said.
“You mean I don’t get to be your wife? You wound me to the core,” Frankie said, putting her hand over her heart.
“I want you to be my partner, my best friend, my lover.”
“Is that better than being a wife?”
“Much.”
“All right then, I’ll think about it,” Frankie said.
Cleo’s face went serious. “You’ll think about it?”
“There is all my furniture to consider,” Frankie replied.
“Furniture, what furniture? If you don’t want to live here, we could find somewhere else.”
“Cleo, I love this house. I love you. I’m messing around, diffusing the seriousness. I’m scared. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to try. I want to, I do.”
Cleo cupped her hands softly around Frankie’s buttocks and drew her near.
“I was hoping you would.”
* * *
Later in the dark, Frankie said, “Cleo?”
“Yes.”
“I really do want to live with you. I can’t imagine dating. It just doesn’t seem like something we could do. I’m either with you or not, but I couldn’t stand to be halfway.”
Cleo pulled her close. “Neither could I.”
“Can you stand me as a roommate?”
“Well, you appear to be relatively neat, and you love my cooking. Those are my two most important requirements.”
“Would you still love me if I wasn’t neat?”
“It would be difficult, but I’d try. Why? Have you been faking neatness all this time?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Are you scared?”
“Yes.”
“Me too. But we’ll talk about things. Okay?”
“Will you come with me on the road sometimes?”
“Are you afraid to leave me in town?”
“No. I trust you, and I think I understand what happened. I want the sensation of having you there with me, watching. I want to come offstage and have the woman I love standing there. I know it’s weird, but when I’m done, I feel so vulnerable. I want you to hold me and make me strong again. Is that odd?”
“No, it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”
“Show me,” Frankie said, sliding her hand in between Cleo’s legs.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Frankie stood on the deck and watched the sunset. Thinking back to her sojourn on the beach, to having Sunday dinners with her wife’s ex-wife, she laughed. She had never thought this would happen. Life always produced those strange turnarounds just when you thought impossibility lay etched in some primordial stone. Like a stick caught in a river, fluidity grabbed you and off you went, riding the crest of the obstacle. Change proved nothing was truly stable, nothing fixed enough to ever achieve permanence. Hang around in your life long enough and it too will change.
They were having dinner at Romaine and Cynthia’s new house. Romaine finally got the house in the hills that she always wanted. As they had driven up there, Frankie had asked Cleo if she wanted a house in the hills.
Cleo had put her hand on Frankie’s knee. “No, darling. I like it simple.”
“Is that why you like me? ’Cause I’m simple?”
“You’re far from simple. You’re my complex musician with an eye for the sardonic. I wouldn’t call that simple. I listen to the words. I know better than to think what’s on the surface is all that’s there.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“What are trying to do, tell me it’s over?” Cleo said, looking slightly alarmed.
Frankie looked down at her hands. “No. I love you more than ever. I’m just nervous about this dinner thing.”
“Why didn’t you say so? We didn’t have to go.”
“I know. Romaine makes me nervous. She intimidates me.”
Cleo took her hand as they rounded the bend. “You’re twice the woman she’ll ever be, and I’ve never been this happy.”
“I know. It’s just that you two have so much past. I feel like a newcomer, and I don’t know where I fit in.”
Cleo pulled the car over to the side of the road. “Get out.”
“Are you throwing me out?”
“No, I want to do something. Come on.”
They stood on the side of the mountain.
“You don’t suffer from vertigo, do you?”
“Sometimes,” Frankie said, looking down at the sharp, stone-studded incline.
“Don’t look down. Raise your right hand,” Cleo instructed.
Frankie obeyed. “What are we doing?”
“It’s called the promise prayer.”
“Is this something you and Romaine did?”
“No, this is something you and I are doing.”
