Youngblood, page 26
A chill crawled down my spine. The Great Hall was utterly silent. No one whispered to their seatmate, no phone accidentally chimed, no wooden pew creaked.
Abruptly, Headmaster Atherton shifted back to his usual demeanor, of the least-cool counselor at summer camp. “Jeez, that’s a lot to take in, right? But don’t worry, we’re going to get through this as a community. To get us started, we’re going to have Galen Black and Kat Finn come up and say a few words about how they’re feeling right now.”
Galen gave me a reassuring look as we approached the lectern. There was a small stack of papers there, the top one bearing Galen’s name.
Galen cleared his throat as he scanned the speech, then he squared his shoulders and began.
“When Headmaster Atherton asked me to say something about how Mr. Kontos’s death affected me, I knew exactly what I wanted to talk about. I’m sad, like a lot of us, because I liked him. I thought he was a good guy. That’s the thing I can’t get over.” I knew Galen was reading off cards he’d never seen before, but he sounded so natural. I would never have guessed the speech wasn’t his. “Mr. Kontos betrayed our trust. He acted like one person at Seated Dinner or in chemistry class, but he was really someone else. He took risks with his life and he ended up dead.” Galen cleared his throat again. “He probably thought immortality made him invincible. But that’s not how it works. The Peril taught us that. We come from fangmakers and parents who survived that nightmare. So I guess all of this makes me really appreciate how lucky we are to be here, and to have each other.”
As we switched places at the lectern, Galen leaned in and whispered, “See? Not so bad.”
I stood at the lectern, looking out at the Great Hall, and for a second I was frozen. I knew that the speech Headmaster Atherton had written for me would be the same judgmental pro-Vampirdom rhetoric that Galen had just read. I also knew that I had a microphone and the attention of the whole school, and I didn’t have to say what they wanted me to. I could have talked about Lucy’s party or what Mr. Kontos had been working toward. At least, I could have told the truth about how he’d died. My palms began to sweat. Was this the right moment? And where was I supposed to start?
I searched for Taylor’s face, as if seeing her would clarify everything.
I found someone else instead.
He was standing in the shadow of one of the chapels, and he was watching me.
Victor Castel.
I took in a sharp breath. The mentorship might have been designed to elevate Galen, but in this moment, Victor’s attention was on me. Even if Victor had already chosen Galen as his successor, there were a million ways Victor’s help could change my life—as long as I showed him I deserved it. Not just during the mentorship, not just at Harcote, but for the rest of my immortality. Unexpectedly, I imagined a moment after the assembly, where Victor was telling me I’d done very well, that I’d impressed him. It wasn’t approval I’d ever get from my mom or, obviously, my dad, and suddenly, I wanted it so badly my stomach ached.
I dropped my eyes to the speech and began to read.
“Being at Harcote means something different to me than it does to the other students here. It means a community of people who understand you. My mom raised me outside of Vampirdom. Our Hema dealer was the only vampire I knew. What made it worse was that I lost . . . I lost my father to CFaD, and both my fangmakers in the Peril.” These were my words from the application for the mentorship. They were personal. Not something I’d wanted to announce to the entire freaking school. I felt used, violated—but with everyone watching me, I didn’t know what else to do other than go on. Thankfully, the words diverged from what I’d written. “Mr. Kontos didn’t know how lucky he was. He had a community, here at Harcote and in Vampirdom, that supported him and understood him. But he didn’t treat that like the privilege it is. He threw it all away. I hope all the Youngbloods realize . . . how lost we would be without Vampirdom.”
Galen reached for me as we left the stage together. I barely even realized he was holding my hand until we were seated again. I was numb, my brain fuzzed out and cottony. Headmaster Atherton had tricked me into telling the entire school my family secrets—or what he knew of them—and then spinning them into propaganda. Going to Harcote was a privilege, way more than most students here realized, but I’d just made it sound like that meant Youngbloods would always be dependent on it, and on Vampirdom. That wasn’t how I felt at all. If I’d learned anything since coming here, it was that both institutions needed some serious change.
“We’ve got a lot of big conversations about those ideas up ahead, boys and girls,” Headmaster Atherton was saying. “First and foremost, let’s remember that Harcote is an educational institution. This isn’t a place for politics. Any discussion of that nature outside of the classroom is potentially in violation of the Honor Code. That includes printed discussions. Any student who has information about that kind of activity should come forward and report it to me. Let’s focus on healing and putting our best feet forward for Descendants Day! The Best of the Best, standing together.”
As we were dismissed, my skin crawled from standing next to Headmaster Atherton. I wanted to find Taylor, but Galen had hold of my hand again and Headmaster Atherton wasn’t done with us yet.
“Not so fast, my favorite student leaders! As the head of our board, Mr. Castel is on campus today, in light of events. He’d like to check in with his mentees.”
29
KAT
“Why does he want to see us, in the middle of all this?” I whispered to Galen as we followed Headmaster Atherton to Old Hill.
Galen shot me a resigned look but didn’t answer. As we’d approached Old Hill, his posture had stiffened with that highly pressurized self-control he always possessed where Victor Castel was concerned. It made him look almost like a different person, all his cocksure confidence pulled in close around him like armor. I grabbed his hand and squeezed.
Headmaster Atherton showed us into a classroom where Victor was waiting. His nice suit and shiny shoes made even the spotless classroom feel shabby. He looked different than the man I had met at his house, more powerful somehow, more intimidating. Like you could see the age of him, although you couldn’t. He felt larger, bigger, like he exerted a gravitational force that everything spun toward.
Victor eyed the joining of our hands. “Well done, Galen.”
As I struggled to keep my cringing internal, Galen ducked his head. “Thank you, sir. Knowing you saw something in Kat, I started to see it too.”
We took seats around the seminar table. Victor studied us over his folded hands. “Why do you think I’m visiting campus today?”
I stole a look at Galen. He didn’t seem ready to speak, so I said, “You’re a trustee, and one of the teachers died. That’s what Headmaster Atherton said.”
This was the wrong answer. Victor’s attention turned to Galen.
“There are four other trustees. Two are my parents. And they’re not here,” Galen said. “Leo Kontos’s death is significant beyond the fact that he was a teacher here.”
“Correct,” Victor said, very precisely. Shame prickled my cheeks. Galen didn’t know anything about Mr. Kontos, not like I did. He’d only guessed his death meant something more because Victor had shown up. Victor continued, “What is that significance?”
What did Kontos’s death mean? I tried to formulate an answer but my mind kept circling back to the heartbreak on Taylor’s face and the heavy look in her eyes when she talked about him.
Victor saw me hesitate. He sat forward and pressed a fist into the table. “Put your emotions aside. Emotional thinking is the enemy of clear judgment. It corrupts the decisions we must make for the greater good of all vampires.”
It didn’t seem right that emotions were the enemy of logic and judgment. What made you sad or angry or outraged were the things you cared about—the things you valued. Replacing that with hard rationality made it seem like values didn’t matter at all.
But I shoved those reservations down. Victor was right—I couldn’t be emotional right now, and not just because I wanted to impress him so badly sweat was trickling down my spine. I also needed to figure out what Victor knew about Mr. Kontos. Whoever had ransacked the lab knew there was a cure, but whether Victor had that information was still a question mark.
“There are rumors that Mr. Kontos was a reunionist,” I said carefully.
“He was?” Galen’s face flashed surprise as he cut me off. “But reunionists support integration. How could Mr. Kontos be a reunionist if he died feeding on a human?”
“Evidently, his moral compass was less refined than he had believed,” Victor said.
Galen nodded. “Then his death demonstrates that. Mr. Kontos thought humans and vampires could live side by side, but he was preying on them. He was a hypocrite. It will be a blow to the reunionist movement.”
“I thought the reunionists were too weak to be a real threat. That’s what you told me, Galen,” I said. “They can’t cure CFaD on their own, right?”
“Of course not,” Galen scoffed, and seemed to mean it. He had no idea what Mr. Kontos had discovered.
Victor’s face didn’t betray a thing. Serious, he trained his deep-set eyes on me. “Kat, on some level, the cure is irrelevant. It’s the ideas that matter. The reunionists envision fundamental changes to our way of life. Vampirdom is a delicate architecture. It’s a set of circumstances that allow us to live together. It took a crisis that nearly annihilated our kind to create the community the Youngbloods are blessed to be born into. That architecture could crumble. We cannot let that happen.”
“But it is only a matter of time before CFaD is cured,” I pressed. He hadn’t given anything away. “It could happen really soon. Especially with the work of the Black Foundation.”
“When you’re my age, a matter of time means something quite different.” Victor chuckled at his cleverness. “Every human alive in this moment might be dead before the cure is discovered.”
A chill skittered through me. “What will happen to Vampirdom then?” I asked. “You’ve been asking us to think of the future, so you must have a plan.”
He stared at me with that disconcerting intensity. “What would you do in my position, Kat?”
I knew what I would do. I’d make sure every vampire could get Hema when and where they needed it, as close to free as I could make it, just like the reunionists wanted. I’d create a Vampirdom where I’d only have to hide from Guzman and Shelby if I chose to. But that wasn’t his question. Victor wanted to know what I thought he would do. I might not have been as suspicious of him as Taylor was, but not one molecule in my body believed that Victor would cave to the reunionists’ demands.
“I would make sure there was something else holding Vampirdom together before that happened,” I said.
He sat back in his chair, satisfied. “So you understand our goals.”
“What do you mean, our goals?” I asked. “Who’s we?”
Victor and Galen exchanged a look that I was pretty sure was an agreement over my stupidity. Then Galen said, “We’re Vampirdom, Kat. Who else?”
Victor smoothed his tie. “Kat, I’d like to speak with you privately. Galen, close the door on your way out.”
Wordlessly, Galen obeyed, and just like that, I was alone with Victor Castel. My mouth went dry. The tentacles of his power seemed to extend from him and snarl around the room, expanding and filling it with pressure. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been alone with a man like this. Victor was hundreds of years old but he looked like he could have been my father, and it made me feel younger and hungrier than I ever had in his presence.
Perhaps he could see that, because he gave me a reassuring smile. “There’s no need to be nervous, Kat. I want you to know that how you conducted yourself today impressed me very much. I’m proud of you.”
A flutter of shock at his words gave way to a strange, soaring sensation in my chest. Victor Castel was proud of me. My mom never said things like that. I could still hear the dismissiveness in her voice when I told her about Harcote—I’m always proud of you—like it was thing too trivial to waste energy saying out loud. I knew I had reason to be skeptical of Victor, but at the same time, he felt like the one person in my life who seemed to understand why I’d come to Harcote in the first place.
“I, um—thank you,” I stammered.
“It’s well-deserved praise. The Youngbloods were moved by your words at the assembly, and your comments in this meeting were incisive. I see a very great deal of potential in you. I know that this opportunity means more to you than it does to Galen.”
The fact that Victor had seen that felt like validation, but still, my heart sank. That simple validation was all I could hope for. The seat at the table that Victor had talked about had had Galen’s name engraved on it since the moment he was born. It would never be mine. Admitting I knew that was embarrassing, but I couldn’t handle Victor pretending otherwise to protect my feelings. “Just so you know . . . I understand.”
“What do you understand?”
I bit back a frown. “Galen’s your fangborn. You want to recognize him as a successor, but it needs to look legitimate—like he earned it. Otherwise no one will respect him. I’m here because I’m a nobody, to make it look like a real competition. But I think there are other ways I could really benefit from, um, from learning from you. You know, I don’t have anyone else to really fall back on, or even talk about my future with . . .” I trailed off.
Victor was wearing a faintly amused expression that made me feel childish, and that made me angry in a childish way. I might have been naive to the ways of Vampirdom, but I wasn’t an idiot. I straightened up to look at him directly. “I don’t see anything particularly funny about that,” I said.
“I’m sorry, Kat, it’s not funny. But I don’t know where you got the idea that I’ve chosen Galen as some kind of successor. First of all, I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon. Second, Galen has never had my full confidence.”
“But all he cares about is impressing you.”
Victor rubbed his jaw, dismissing this. “Be that as it may, he’s yet to prove that he can be his own man. But you, Kat, you aren’t like him. I’ve been watching you. I can see your drive. I see hints, here and there, of the Youngblood leader you could be, if we channeled that drive in the right direction. Is that kind of partnership, between you and me, something you could be interested in?”
“Yes,” I said. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was offering, but I knew what it meant: the key to the future I’d dreamed of.
“Good. Keep impressing me like you have been, and you’ll make my decision easy.” There was a nonchalance to his tone, like we’d concluded a business meeting, not an agreement that could change the course of my life. “One final thing: I’ve heard from the headmaster that your mother hasn’t registered for Descendants Day. I’d like to volunteer my services for the weekend.”
Surely, I had passed out and now my brain was leaking out my ears. The thought of Descendants Day made me want to crawl into bed and hibernate until spring. After what I’d been forced to admit at the assembly today, it was bound to be even shittier than I’d been expecting.
If I had Victor there instead, I wouldn’t be alone. I’d spend Descendants Day with someone there who might actually be proud of me. I just wasn’t sure I really deserved that.
I hesitated. “Wouldn’t that look strange?”
“Why is that?”
“Because you’re Galen’s fangmaker. And because I’m . . . I’m a nobody.”
“Promise me something, Kat: promise me you’ll never say that about yourself again.”
TAYLOR
I had been staring at my computer for a long time, because that was how I wanted Kat to find me: nonchalantly interneting, completely unconcerned with thoughts of her.
Kat was dating Galen. The signs were unavoidable. His touch on her shoulder at lunch. The way their hands had met at the lectern. The looks they’d shared up there, like they were communicating in a secret language right in front of the whole school, as if none of us were there to see it—as if I weren’t there to see it.
Evangeline was right: Kat was a lost cause. That rock tumbling down the hill to crush me time and time again, as many times as I put myself in its way.
When she came through the door, her cheeks were pink from the crisp fall air, her auburn hair tangled in her scarf, and when she saw me, her hazel eyes seemed to come alive.
“You won’t believe what just happened!” she said.
“Omigod! Was it you spewing vampiric propaganda to the whole school? Because unfortunately I had to witness that firsthand.”
Her shoulders drooped. “You know Headmaster Atherton wrote those speeches and Galen was the one who agreed to it. You think I wanted to say all that stuff about my dad and my fangmakers?”
“And those lies about Kontos, which you knew weren’t true?”
“Shhh! There’s an aide in the hallway,” she snapped. “She might overhear.”
Before I realized what I was doing I had grabbed Kat’s arm and tugged her into the bathroom. I flipped the shower on. “Now she won’t.”
Kat’s breath was coming in quick bursts. We were standing pretty close together. Admittedly, I didn’t consider how small the bathroom was when I came up with this.
“You know Headmaster Atherton wrote the speeches. I had to do it.”
“No one had a stake to your heart. You could have said whatever you wanted. Like the truth, for example.”
