And when he shook my hand, it was there again. A little something. A spark. “I’m so glad to finally meet you, Bellamy. Lemon Beauchamp has told me so much about you.”

  “Outright lies and half-truths, I’m sure.”

  His laughter caused a twinkling sensation in my chest. Maybe I could swap out my shirtless Enzo fantasies and put Gray in there instead. He looked pretty fit. I could enjoy that.

  Maybe if Enzo refused to love me because I was his client, Gray could.

  “Lemon also said that this was our chance to chat, and for you to decide whether or not you wanted to come with me tonight.” He sat down in the armchair across from me, undoing the button of his suit. His extremely expensive, custom-tailored Anderson & Sheppard suit. I appreciated a man with fashion sense.

  “Where?”

  “I’m hosting a charity gala this evening. It benefits homeless shelters in the tri-state area. Last year we raised ten million dollars. I’m hoping to double that amount this year.” That was an astronomical figure, and I bet it did a lot of good. I could also appreciate a man who was into charity.

  “So let’s chat and see if we like each other,” I offered. His housekeeper came in with tea, and we started to talk. I discovered he was scary smart and also driven. We had very little else in common, other than we seemed to enjoy talking to each other. He was raised a blue blood on the East Coast by two very devoted, still married parents, had gone to an Ivy League school, and had taken over the family business after graduating with his MBA.

  About as far from a waitress in Ohio as you could get.

  I had to ask the million-dollar question. “And how are you still single?”

  “How is a princess like you still single?” he countered.

  “I only just found out I was a princess. You’ve known you were a rich, hot CEO for at least the last six years.”

  He laughed again. “Lemon was right. I do like you. And to answer your question, I’m single because I haven’t found a woman yet who could put up with my schedule. I’m an extremely busy man, I’m afraid.”

  “That might work for me. I don’t mind being by myself.” I glanced over at Enzo, looking to see if he was bothered by what I’d said. He was frowning. Progress?

  “In that case, would you like to accompany me to the gala tonight as my co-host?”

  I didn’t know what co-hosting involved, but I had to stop waiting around for Enzo. Maybe this would spur him to action. He’d been sporting a scowl since Gray and I began talking.

  Later that day, I tried to draw him out, make him interact with me. “Gray texted me. Look.” I held my phone up. It said, “Hello, you.” And there was an adorable emoji with hearts for eyes. “Isn’t that cute?”

  “That he forgot your name already? Precious,” he replied sarcastically. I stayed away from him after that. His scowl seemed permanently attached to his face, but I went forward with the plans I’d made with Gray. For the gala I had chosen a Jenny Packham floor-length long-sleeved black gown. This dress probably cost more than a small house in my neighborhood back home. The girl in charge of my face put black eye shadow on me, which I’d thought would look terrible but instead made my hazel eyes look almost green.

  Gray sent a driver to pick us up, and for the first time in a long time, Enzo didn’t chat with me while we drove. It was uncomfortable. Fortunately, I had Lemon to text with. She told me she’d set up some interviews with the design houses I was interested in the following Thursday and Friday, a week from now. She felt like we were close to having enough footage and it was time for me to start living my life.

  When we got to the gala, there was a red carpet and tons of photographers. Famous people, some of whom I had even recently dated, posed for pictures and answered questions. Gray himself came out to greet me, drawing the attention of everyone nearby.

  “You are absolutely exquisite,” he said, kissing one of my cheeks. I had never considered myself to be the exquisite type, but when he said it I almost believed it.

  “You know a lot of celebrities,” I commented, mostly to hide my embarrassment.

  “A necessary evil, I’m afraid. Wherever they show up, so do paparazzi, bringing more attention to the cause. And people will pay an exorbitant amount of money for the chance to sit and talk with them. I have no idea why. Most of them are self-centered, vapid flakes.”

  I had never liked him more.

  We posed on the carpet together, and this time people knew who I was. They kept calling out, “Princess Bellamy! This way! Your Highness!” It felt strange, but Gray had his arm firmly around my waist, letting everyone know we were there together. As always, my camera guys caught the entire thing. This was one date I would probably want to watch again.

  That night we danced, schmoozed donors, and I generally had a great time. Gray raised about seventeen million from tickets, donations, and the silent auctions, so he told me he’d kick in the last three million to get to twenty.

  It was going to feed a lot of people, and it made me happy to think of how much good all that money would do.

  Gray asked to escort me home, and Enzo sat in the front seat of the limo. I missed him being in the back with me, but I was enjoying myself with Gray. I couldn’t really imagine myself living his lifestyle, but he was fun and charming and didn’t make me feel awkward or nervous.

  Until the moment when he went up the elevator with me. Enzo had his back to us, standing near the door, and Gray reached over and took my hand. It was such a small, stupid thing, but it made me feel liked. Like, despite all my insecurities, I was good enough or important enough for him to want to hold hands with me. And the sensation was nice. His hands reminded me of Enzo’s.

  When the doors opened and we were in the area outside the front door, Enzo unlocked it and raised his eyebrows at me, questioning.

  “If you wouldn’t mind giving us a minute, I’d like to say good night,” Gray said.

  Enzo gave a curt nod and went inside the suite.

  “There’s something I’ve wanted to do all evening,” he said as he leaned in.

  Then he kissed me. It wasn’t the soul-searing, bone-melting type of kiss I’d had with Enzo. This was tender and full of affection. Like he was using his lips to get to know me better. To explore that spark between us. His mouth moved, changing the angle and pressure each time he slanted his lips over mine. I liked it.

  Maybe this was good enough. Maybe I didn’t have to have some kind of undying passion. Maybe this could grow into something more.

  Gray seemed to be in the same headspace as he pressed a kiss in the vulnerable spot just under my ear. “I was right. You are as delicious as you look.”

  That should have made me happy, but all I could think about was Enzo.

  “I know this is going to seem sudden, but I’m scheduled to be in the Bahamas for the next four days. I want you to come with me.”

  “What?”

  “It’s one of the few breaks I get to take every year. And it would be a chance for me to get to know you better.”

  I hoped that wasn’t a euphemism. He must have seen my concern because he kept talking. “Obviously, you would have your own room. I’m not expecting anything. Just a chance to spend time with a kind, smart, beautiful woman.”

  It was sudden. And strange. I didn’t just hop on airplanes and go to tropical islands as a date.

  “I ran it past Lemon, and she thought it would be a good idea for your show. A sort of ending. But we could ditch the cameras and just spend time together.” He sensed my reluctance. “Don’t give me an answer now. Sleep on it and let me know in the morning.”

  Pressing another sweet, lingering kiss to my lips, he said good night and left.

  Once the elevator doors closed, I went into the suite. Enzo was pacing in the living room.

  I thought it might be time to enact my “make Enzo jealous” plan.

  “Gray kissed me. And he asked me to come with him to the Bahamas for the next four days.”

  I so badly wanted Enzo to demand that I not go. To kiss me and confess his undying love.

  Neither one of those things happened.

  Oh, his eyes flashed and raged, but he calmly asked, “Are you going?”

  “I’m considering it.” Sort of.

  “I can’t go with you if you go to the Bahamas.”

  There hadn’t been any part of me that had imagined Enzo tagging along on the trip. Because that would be beyond weird. But at the same time, I’d spent every day of the last few weeks with him. I realized I didn’t want to go if he wouldn’t go. “Why not?”

  He held up his cell phone. “I just got a text from my sister. Our mother had a slight heart attack and is in the hospital. I have to go back to Monterra to be with my family.”

  Here I was being a brat, trying to force Enzo into some kind of confession, and his mother was sick. I was the worst person ever. “I’m so sorry. Is there something I can do?”

  He stopped pacing and came to stand so close to me that I had to take a step back. “Come with me.”

  “Come with you?” I repeated, my heart beating erratically. “To Monterra?”

  “Yes. Forget this show and all the crazy things Lemon wants you to do and come with me.”

  I wanted to say yes. I did. Unlike earlier with Gray where I’d hesitated, I instantly thought, Yes, yes, yes. But I had to be realistic. This wasn’t like Gray’s invitation. Where all the expenses would presumably be taken care of. I didn’t have the money to fly across the Atlantic Ocean. What about my scheduled appointments next week? Finding my internship?

  More importantly, Gray had told me why he wanted me to go. Enzo hadn’t.

  “Why?” I asked. “Why do you want me to come with you? I know you don’t date your clients. What is it you want from me?”

  He ran both of his hands through his hair, obviously frustrated. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

  “I don’t know” wasn’t a good enough reason. “You said you wouldn’t lie to me. So tell me the truth. Are you . . .” I so badly wanted to ask if he was in love with me. If he felt at all like I did. “Are you attracted to me?”

  Enzo let out a sigh, like I’d broken him. “I shouldn’t be, but I am.”

  It was a step in the right direction, even if he felt that way in spite of himself. Before I could ask more questions, he kept going.

  “I don’t know if there’s more than that. But I want you to come to Monterra so we can find out.”

  I thought of all the people Lemon had employed to keep me looking pretty. The camera guys who were such a constant presence in my life that I often forget they were even there. How she had gone out of her way to give me my dream, had set up appointments with busy, important people, how she had built this whole show around me becoming a princess.

  Although I had initially dismissed it as being inconsequential, this royalty thing was important. I had duties and promises I had to fulfill. People who relied on me. Maybe part of the problem was that I was always forgetting that I was a princess. That I’d let my insecurities rule my life for so long that I downplayed who I really was. Who I had been born to become.

  Bellamy Sullivan would run away with Enzo to Monterra, not caring whether or not he loved me.

  But Her Royal Highness, Princess Bellamy of Monterra, had obligations and responsibilities and wanted more from her bodyguard than to find out whether his attraction to me could lead to something else.

  Even if that little voice said I didn’t, I knew I deserved more than that.

  “I gave Lemon my word. I have to stay here. I’m so sorry about your mom. Please let me know if I can do anything to help you and your family.”

  He took a sudden step backward, as if I’d punched him. His expression was a mixture of surprise, upset, and despair. “I can’t be here.” He went into his room, apparently to pack, and before I could second-guess my decision, he had his suitcase and was back in the living room. I didn’t want him to go, but I had no reason for him to stay.

  I knew that for the rest of my life I would never forget the image of him standing in that hallway with his luggage, leaving me.

  “Goodbye, gattina. I wish you all the happiness in the world.” I watched as he walked into the front foyer. I wanted him to turn around. Turn around and say that he’d made a mistake and of course he loved me. Or at least look over his shoulder at me one last time before he left.

  But he didn’t. I watched him walk through the door, and then I heard it quietly swing shut behind him, latching into place.

  I was suddenly and inexplicably sad and angry all at the same time. I wanted to curl up in a ball and sob, but I also wanted to run around this room and throw glass vases on the ground, to see them shatter the way my heart just had. I decided on the curling-up-in-a-ball option on the corner of the couch, just lying there in some kind of fugue state for hours.

  After I decided I’d spent enough time feeling sorry for myself, I stomped into my room, intending to pack. I was done with this entire thing. Without thinking, I picked up my mother’s music box. The enigmatic music box that hadn’t given me a single clue about my heritage or my father. I threw it across the room, hitting the wall and scaring my cat. Snickers darted under the bed, and I fell to my knees, appalled at my own childish behavior. The music box was now in pieces. The one thing I had from my mother I had destroyed because Enzo didn’t love me.

  Getting up, I picked up the pieces of the box the same way I would soon have to pick up the pieces of my life. Gently and carefully, but with determination. One of the drawers had been knocked loose, and a corner had lifted up. There was a piece of paper underneath the velvet lining. How had I never seen this before? I tore the lining up, hoping that Ryan would know someone who could fix the music box.

  As soon as I opened the paper up I saw that it was a letter from my mother. I had to hold it up so that my tears wouldn’t fall on it and streak her handwriting.

  I began to read.

  CHAPTER NINE

  My darling Bellamy,

  If something ever happens to me, I want you to know everything about your father. Because whatever your grandmother says will be distorted by her beliefs and prejudices.

  Shortly after I graduated from nursing school, I wanted to backpack across Europe. One last hurrah before I settled down. I went from country to country, and one night found myself in a quaint little place called Monterra at a bar. The most handsome man I’d ever seen sat at the far end, and nobody could have been more surprised than me when he introduced himself as Alberto and asked what a girl as beautiful as me was doing all alone. He asked if he could buy me a drink, and we stayed in that bar until closing time and then walked outside in the city until dawn.

  I’d never believed in love at first sight, but now I knew personally that it was true. It had only been one night, but I loved Alberto. I wanted to marry him. He felt the same way.

  On our way to elope, he told me that he was a prince. I didn’t care. I just wanted to be his wife. Nothing else mattered. He always called me “bella mia,” his beautiful one, which is where the name Bellamy comes from. I chose it to remember the love your father and I shared.

  We married the next day, and other than your birth, that following week was the happiest I had ever known.

  One morning he went out to get coffee and croissants, and he never came back. I called the police, who followed up with his family. They told the police that Alberto had come to his senses and wanted our marriage annulled. I begged and pleaded to be able to talk to him, but was repeatedly told that he didn’t want to see me and that I should just go back home.

  I knew it wasn’t true. I knew what we shared. But eventually the money ran out and I had to leave. I didn’t know how to get in contact with him or find him, and there was nothing left to do.

  And a month after I came home, I discovered, to your grandparents’ eternal shame, that I was pregnant with you. They thought that I had conceived you out of wedlock, because I didn’t have any physical proof of my marriage. They believed that I had turned my back on my beliefs and their teachings, and things have never been the same between us since.

  I want you to know that your parents were madly in love. That you were conceived in love and that you helped to fill the hole in my heart that Alberto had left. I am so proud to be your mother, and I know I’m not biased when I say this, but you are the most wonderful, special little girl in the whole world. A real-life princess.

  I’ve tried my best to give you the kind of life a princess deserves. Please always know how much I love you.

  Don’t ever give up on love like I did. Don’t ever let anyone else define for you what love is or how long it should take to happen. You decide. But when you find it, don’t let it go. Fight for it.

  Because it’s worth it.

  Love,

  Mom

  I brushed at my cheeks with the back of my hands to wipe away the mascara-stained tears and reread the letter over and over again. I could almost hear my mother’s voice, see her gentle smile. In the postscript was all the information Mom had about my father, his full name, where they’d met, where and when they were married.

  Here I thought I was being noble. Dignified, even. Choosing to not tell someone my feelings if he didn’t say them first. So what if he hadn’t figured it out yet? Why did he have to say it first? What if he thought I didn’t feel the same way? It wasn’t about respect or deserving more. It was about being scared and using that as a shield against him.

 

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