Over the Line, page 6
If she knew what I know, she’d know it could hurt a lot. She didn’t say it but she thought it, and knew the thought must be visible in her eyes somehow because Darla’s expression softened.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that,” she said, reaching over the desk and squeezing Quinn’s hand. “You can’t give up on men altogether just because there’s one jerk out there.”
Somehow Quinn found the courage to say, “My jerk is different,” before she walked out the door, leaving Darla in silence behind her.
CHAPTER 7
The two days without Gabriel’s lessons meant sleeping in until nine, a luxury Quinn didn’t get often enough. Cooper got himself ready for practice and she slept so well both days that she didn’t hear his alarm clock go off, or the door close when he left. Feeling like a deadbeat parent for not seeing him out in the morning, she woke on Saturday to the sound of pages turning in the living room. Cooper was perched on the couch, a bowl of cereal balanced on his crossed ankles, and Gary Paulson’s Hatchet in his hands. He’d read the book a dozen times, and the cover showed the wear.
“Is that my mixing bowl?” Quinn asked, seeing the size of the bowl in his lap for the first time. “What did you do, put the whole box in there?”
“Pretty much, I’m starving.”
“You’re always starving.” She reached in the cabinet for vitamins and a box of corn flakes, shaking it to judge what amount he’d left for her.
“I’m a growing boy, Mom, what can I say?” his voice was soft and sleepy, and the pages kept turning as he chewed.
“I got invited to do something pretty fun today, and you’re invited too.” She framed the statement with an air of mystery, knowing it would only intrigue her son all the more. “But in order to gain entrée to the adventure, you must guess.”
“Ooooooh, I must guess,” Cooper said. He set the book down and brought the vat of cereal up to the breakfast bar, perching his skinny butt on a stool. “Well, the Kardashians haven’t called, and the Hiltons would have sent out engraved invitations.”
Quinn laughed, as she always did at Cooper’s inventive silliness.
“It can’t possibly be an ocean liner trip around the world or I would have noticed the reservations in the paper,” he said through his teeth, affecting an obnoxious accent. “And there’s just no way Brad Pitt has the time to schlep us along to another premiere, what with Angelina and all the kids.”
She was laughing in earnest now, her hand over her mouth to stop from spraying her coffee all over him. “So that leaves, basically nothing of interest.”
“Those were pretty good, I’m impressed. But, no, this involves a different rich, famous person.” Cooper snapped his fingers in mock disappointment and shoveled in another spoonful of cereal. “I told you I have private lessons on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, right?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, they’re not just for the average yoga virgin. You’re never going to believe this, but I’m giving lessons to Gabriel Miller—”
Cooper cut her off, throwing up a hand and looking like she’d just given him a flying puppy for his birthday. “You know Gabriel freaking Miller and neglected to tell me?!”
“I just met him on Tuesday and to be honest he was a bit of an ass. I wasn’t even sure I’d keep him on, but yeah.”
“Holy crap, Mom!” He looked impressed and she thought for once her son didn’t think her job was weird.
“He blew out that knee last year and the rehab he’s been doing isn’t working. He’s a little freaked out about it, and yoga may be a last resort before they cut him.”
“They can’t cut him,” Cooper said, his upper lip curling in disgust. “He’s the whole reason their defense was worth anything last season.”
“Agreed. With him as captain they were the number three defense in the league when the year before they were fourteenth. Not the point,” she said, sipping coffee. “Point is—let me loop back to the beginning of this rambling train of thought—he’s invited you and me to his house today to hang out.”
“You’re shitting me,” Cooper said. He didn’t swear often so when he did it had the same amount of impact as when a ninety-seven-year-old maiden aunt did it.
“Totally serious. We’re going to meet him at his house at one.”
Cooper looked like he was in danger of passing out. “What am I supposed to wear?”
“Who’s the girl here? I’m going to dress like a human; you can do whatever you want as long as you don’t wind up looking like a twerp. He’s just a guy.”
“What did you mean when you said he was an ass on Tuesday?” he said, just registering everything else she’d said. “What did he do?”
“Got a little nastier than I can tolerate, but I set him straight. I think today is his way of apologizing, in a roundabout fashion.” She slid her bowl into the sink. “I don’t think anyone, especially not a woman, had ever told him the way he talks is ridiculous.”
“Oh, good. If he’d done something really dumb I’d have to kill him.” Cooper said and smiled. She rolled her eyes.
“My staunch defender,” she said. There was one last cup of coffee in the pot and she poured it for herself. “No wonder you’re already so chipper. How much coffee have you had this morning?”
“Four cups or so, I didn’t keep track,” he said and walked down the hall to his room. His bowl sat on the bar, spoon in it and a quarter full of milk.
“I hope you don’t think I’m dealing with this,” Quinn called. “I have to put my face on and everything. We’re going to be late!”
“Come on, Mom! Can’t a guy catch a break?” Cooper groaned and walked back into the kitchen.
“It’s ten steps and you know how long it takes me to get ready to leave the house.” She walked back to her bedroom, one door past Cooper’s, and sat at her vanity. The vanity had been one of few things she’d gotten in the divorce, an antique made of solid oak that Mitch’s grandmother had given her.
Scattered over its top were the tools of her trade. The makeup she used was MAC, too expensive for her meager budget, but it covered everything she needed to hide when she left the apartment. Gabriel didn’t need to know what had happened to her. Once his lessons were over, she might never see him again. What help would it be to him to find out how ugly she was under all this makeup?
Once Cooper was dressed, he shuffled into her room and lay on the bed. He flipped onto his side and watched as she applied her makeup. He’d watched her do this almost every day since she’d healed well enough to go through all this.
“I think you should leave it off,” he said. “It’s a lot of work.”
“Yes it is,” she said, dabbing a stippling brush into a compact of full-coverage foundation. As she blended it all over her face, chest, and shoulder, he kept talking.
“Why do you do it?”
“When this first happened, when the wounds were still healing, I had to keep pressure bandages on them to keep the grafts from coming off, to make sure they took,” she said, lifting her chin to blend the makeup on her throat. “That was before I started yoga lessons and teaching. I was still working at Aerospace Technical Supply as a receptionist. Riding the bus every day since I didn’t have a car to go to work was torture. Everyone thought I’d been in a wreck or that I’d somehow done something to earn whatever happened to me. The looks on their faces were ugly, their judgment hurt, and the minute the doctors told me I could cover my scars with makeup, I started learning how.”
Powdering over everything she’d just done, she turned in the light to make sure she’d done enough to fix the uneven texture on her shoulder and jawline. “I never wanted anyone to see these again, to pass judgment on me when they didn’t know what had been done to me.”
She paused for a moment and met his eyes in the mirror. “I also didn’t want to drop you off at school on your first day of kindergarten and scare the other kids.” Neither of them said anything. There was nothing else to say. Children can be cruel, and they both knew that some of them would have made comments about Quinn’s scars. All it took was one person who misunderstood, adult or otherwise, and Cooper’s school career could have been horrible.
Finishing her makeup without another word, she then shooed Cooper out so she could get dressed. One of the most limiting parts of having extensive scarring was having to wear the boring clothing options that ensured they would be covered up. The makeup opened up more options, but she was often left with wearing layers to make sure the odd texture of the graft sites would be hidden. She chose a pair of skinny Bermuda shorts, flip-flops, and a gray faux wrap top with short flutter sleeves. She checked everything in the mirror to make sure she was covered as well as possible, then headed out to gather Cooper and head to Gabriel’s house. She was nervous as hell by the time she climbed into the van, but she also felt something she’d thought impossible: hope.
Gabriel checked and rechecked everything, wiping and scrubbing and dusting. Unable to sit still, he’d rearranged the furniture in the living room this morning before practice, shoving everything around until he had things set up in a way he thought would please Quinn. He made sure the video game systems were all in plain sight so Cooper would find them and feel welcome to play if he wanted to. Books that had been in his bedroom, strewn on every surface, were stacked in the bookcase.
There was no carpet in the house, but the wood floors all shone with his attentions from the last few days, and the tile and grout were spotless in the bathrooms and kitchen. They’d be here any minute and he wanted everything to be perfect when they arrived. He’d even gone downstairs last night and plugged in air fresheners in the gym so it didn’t smell like dirty laundry and stale sweat when he showed it to Quinn.
Every window in the house was open, and everything was in its place when he heard her vehicle rattle and cough its way up the driveway. He darted around the house one last time, his knee all but wailing with the pain from all the work he’d done in the house. He’d pay for this later, he had no doubt, and just hoped that this visit would be worth it.
Quinn parked in front of the garage and hopped out of an old Dodge Grand Caravan with fading light blue paint and more than a little road salt-induced rust on the wheel wells.
He’d been half expecting her to wear yoga gear to his house, and when he saw her in the wrap top and knee-length shorts, he was surprised. The clothes showed off her curves, and he caught himself staring as she walked to the back of the van. Her hair was in her usual bun, and he wondered how long it was when she let it down.
She looked around the end of the van and from the other side of it walked a boy older than Gabriel had been expecting Cooper to be. Good-looking kid with dark hair and blue eyes, long and lanky but with a physique promising size and strength later on in life. He smiled and said something to Quinn and she rolled her eyes. Gabriel chuckled as he opened the back door to let them in. He heard Cooper whisper, “Holy crap, he’s huge,” and Quinn shush him and his smile widened as he tried not to laugh.
Barefoot in dark jeans and a white T-shirt, Gabriel looked good, as she’d known he would. The house wasn’t palatial but was still the biggest home she and Cooper had ever been in. Probably the nicest, too. Muted gray walls and dark floors, white trim and an open floor plan left the whole home feeling welcoming. Huge windows spilled natural light from every angle and twelve-foot ceilings made the house feel enormous. Gabriel had good taste when it came to the furnishings, everything beautiful and well-made.
“Thanks for inviting us,” Quinn said with a quaver in her voice. She was more nervous than ever now that she was here. Gabriel placed his hand on her arm, his touch gentle, reassuring. Her eyes caught his in time to see his small smile for her before he turned to Cooper and held out his hand.
“Cooper, it’s nice to meet you. Your mom tells me you play football?”
“I’m quarterback on my school’s junior varsity team,” Cooper said. And that was all it took. Cooper went from gawky, shy teenager to fellow athlete in the space of a heartbeat. “I’m young for a freshman, and they usually don’t get to play but coach saw me and my friends playing and liked what he saw.”
“You must be pretty good then,” Gabriel smiled, and Quinn was surprised to see how genuine the smile was. “Tell you what, let me get your mom settled and we’ll go throw some balls around in a little while. There’s an Xbox and a PlayStation in there if you want to play, or you’re welcome to watch TV, whatever you want.”
“Thanks,” Cooper said, clearly in awe.
Gabriel turned to Quinn and, before she could protest, wrapped her up in a hug. “I’m glad you came,” he said, his voice low. She placed her hands on his hips, unsure of what else to do with them. The T-shirt he wore was thin and she felt the warmth of his skin through the fabric, the flex of muscle. His body made her feel small, delicate and feminine, and he smelled good in a fresh-scrubbed way. No cologne, just soap and sweat and skin.
He held on a beat longer than she expected, and when he let go, one of his big hands stayed on her elbow.
“I thought of a million excuses not to, but every one I came up with sounded lamer than the one before.” One of his big hands lingered on her elbow. It was difficult, but she forced herself to relax. If she was ever going to learn to trust people, she had to start somewhere. Gabriel was a large man, tall and broad and more muscular than anyone else she knew, and if he wanted to hurt her he could without trying. She just had to learn to trust that he wasn’t going to. Easier said than done, but she would have to try.
“I’m glad they were lame excuses,” he said, that smile still lingering. “Do you want anything to drink?” He opened the fridge and called to Cooper, who put in a request for a soda, and then he poured Quinn and himself glasses of sweet iced tea. He leaned into the living room to toss Cooper the can and asked if the boy needed anything else.
“No, I’m good, thanks,” Cooper said, engrossed enough in his game he didn’t look away from the TV as he said it.
“Come on downstairs. I’ll show you the gym.” He led the way down the flight of stairs into a room that took up the whole basement of the house. Every piece of high-end equipment one could imagine was packed in this room, wall to wall on a rubber floor. He leaned against the doorway and watched as she walked around the room, looking at all of his things with the shrewd eye of one in the fitness business.
Mirrors lined the whole east wall and she avoided looking at herself in them, her eyes shooting downward as she turned away. He could see the right side of her face in the mirrors as she walked around the room and saw that when she turned her head, the thin skin of her throat puckered at such an angle to put it at odds with the direction her head was turning, like the skin there was anchored in the wrong spot.
Something about it bothered him, like so many other things about Quinn he couldn’t figure out, but he knew he had to let it go. He had to trust that if she wanted him to know, she’d tell him. “What do you think?”
“I think all of this equipment is worth more than I’ll make in the next five years,” she said. “All really good stuff. Lots of room down here, too.”
“It was expensive, but it’s part of my job,” he said and she smiled her crooked smile. “You look beautiful today.”
She looked surprised and flustered at the compliment. Her hand flew up to the right side of her face, where the skin of her throat had pulled oddly. “Thank you,” she said quietly before turning her attention back to the room.
He approached her from behind, moving slowly so she could see him coming in the mirror. A lock of hair had fallen out of her bun, trailing from the nape of her neck down past the middle of her back. He plucked it off her skin and ran his fingers down its length, watching as her skin erupted in goose bumps. She shivered and drew in a breath through her teeth, and he saw her eyes close.
“I mean it,” he said, keeping his voice soft. Opening his hand, he let the hair fall and brushed the backs of his knuckles against the skin of her upper back. When she didn’t pull away, he ran his fingers across her shoulder and down her arm, taking her hand in his. Her chest rose and fell with her breaths, her breasts pressing against the neckline of the top. He moved in front of her and brought her hand to his lips, brushing a kiss across her knuckles. “You look beautiful.”
Never good with compliments, she knew if he could see how she really looked under the artful makeup and carefully-chosen clothes, he wouldn’t think she was beautiful at all. If he knew the story behind what was under all this preparation, he wouldn’t want anything to do with her. That thought made her want to cry and she turned away.
He let go of her hand, surprised by the wetness in her eyes, and watched her walk toward the stairs.
“It’s a great gym, Gabriel. Thank you for showing me,” she said as she headed back upstairs. He heard one of the bathroom doors open and close and cussed at himself, though he couldn’t put a finger on what he’d done wrong. Looking down at her, holding her hand, having her in this house, he’d wanted to kiss her. He had been working up the courage, trying every subtle move he could think of. Every woman wanted to hear that she was beautiful, didn’t they? That seemed to be the part where he’d gone wrong but for the life of him he couldn’t think of how. Going up the stairs, he backtracked over everything he’d done and said and came up empty.
He stood at the kitchen counter for a little while, thinking it over, and when Quinn came back out of the bathroom, he was the first to speak, keeping his voice down so Cooper wouldn’t hear. “I’m sorry if I said or did something wrong.”
She turned a bright, shaky smile on him and he knew he would have to let it go unresolved. If he said anymore, he might upset her further and lose any chance he had with her. That thought was enough to get him to button his lip for awhile. Instead, he got Cooper up and led him out back, grabbing a couple of beat-up footballs out of an old whiskey barrel by the back door.
The kid had an arm, and Gabriel had to move farther and farther away from him as Cooper showed off. Gabriel kept off his knee as much as he could, keeping the balls going straight back and forth. A couple times, Cooper threw a laser-beam pass that hurt when it hit his hands.
