A Storm of Revelations, page 27
“I can’t take credit for that, I’m afraid.”
“You didn’t know him when he was drinking himself into oblivion on the levee, dreaming of the bottom of the river,” Richard said. He patted her arm and returned to the kitchen.
Lauren was sitting in the parlor, waiting for the car, when Nicolas appeared in the doorway.
“Richard said he ordered you a car. I can take you.”
Lauren clutched the bag holding last night’s dress tight in her lap. Her cheeks burned with his discovery of her cravenness. “It’s fine. I didn’t want to wake you.”
Nicolas ran his hands through his dark hair, which stuck every which way but right. He was in a white T-shirt and the boxers he’d been wearing last night when… Lauren pushed the memory down.
“Didn’t really sleep,” he said. “I’ll cancel the car. I need to head into town anyway, to see—”
“No, it’s already coming, and, look….” Lauren wanted to thank him, but for what? His heroic deeds ran the gamut from an actual rescue to a sexual release. But how could she ever tell him that what happened between them would always remind her of what happened hours before?
Nicolas held his hands up. “Lauren, I knew this is how the morning would go. I shouldn’t have let us… but, hey, I only have so much self-control, and I guess we both figured out where that line sits.”
Lauren stood. “No, this is not your fault. You were right last night when you said I was overwhelmed with what happened, and I’m so sorry, Nicolas… I led you on, and I’m so ashamed of myself.”
“Hey, look, it’s no big deal. People have sex. People move on.”
“But it is a big deal,” Lauren asserted.
Nicolas twisted his hands and grinned, looking somewhere other than at her. “Yeah, I guess it is. But I won’t hold it over your head, or make things weird. It happened. Shit happens. I knew before it happened that it wasn’t going to be bigger than last night.”
The guilt gnawed at her. He’d seen through to this exact encounter, knowing what she’d swept aside to make herself surrender to the moment.
“I feel terrible.”
Nicolas smiled. “I wish you wouldn’t. Like I told you in the car, whatever you need. I saw last night that you needed this, and I wanted to do whatever I could to help you. And… I wanted it. It wasn’t all you, you know.”
“I know.”
“Maybe it’s for the best that we’re not working together so closely anymore. It will help things get back to normal,” Nicolas said. He was trying to make her feel better, and this only deepened her guilt.
“Has the distance… helped?”
“My feelings for you?”
Lauren nodded.
“Sure, of course. I’ve been focused on other things so much that…” Nicolas laughed. “No, okay, not really. I think about you all the time. I wonder what you’re doing, what you’re up to. I wonder if you’re thinking of me. But I’m not what you need. Hell, for as much as I brag that I never dated the same woman twice, they never wanted to date me twice! What do I have to offer, other than my money?”
“Nicolas, that’s not fair to you at all. And it’s not how I see you.”
“I wasn’t fishing for a compliment,” he said. “I know who I am. You know who you are. Your friendship means the world to me. That’s all I was worried about last night, was that the guilt or awkwardness might hurt what we have as friends. I love you, Lauren, but I also like you.” He shook his head, laughing. “I know how that sounds, but you have no idea. For the most part, there are two types of people in my life. The ones who tolerate me, like family, and those who pander to me, because of what I can do for them. You’re one of only a handful who are neither.”
“Maybe that used to be true, but I see how your family defers to you now. They respect you. They love you. And those who don’t? Well, that’s their loss,” she said. “Our friendship is important to me, too. I don’t want last night to change things.”
Nicolas shrugged. “Then it won’t.”
Lauren clutched the bag to her chest, afraid she might reach for him. “I have to say, you’re taking this really well.”
“Were you hoping I’d fall to my knees and beg for your hand in marriage?”
Lauren grinned. “No, I just… I realize I sent very mixed signals last night, and I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair, not when you’ve been very clear, and I’ve been very clear, and then I undid it all in one night.”
“You didn’t,” Nicolas assured her. “I knew what it was, and I knew what it wasn’t.”
“So… friends?” Lauren held out her hand, and the look exchanged between them made her realize how silly the gesture was.
Nicolas took her hand. “Friends.”
Richard peeked his head in. “Car is here for Miss Lauren.”
“Thank you, Richard,” they both replied.
“I guess I better go,” she said. The discomfort lingered between them, with neither knowing how to say goodbye. Nicolas might reassure her that nothing would change, but it already had. Things would never be the same between them, and only time would reveal the full impact.
“Before you do,” Nicolas ventured. His voice had changed. Hardened. “Eckhart is done in this town. You need to know that. It will never come back on you in any way, but the firm just lost a client. There’ll be no police. I respect your need for privacy. But he isn’t getting away with this. Not like Adrien LaViolette did.”
Lauren nodded. She clutched the dress tighter. When she got home, she’d burn it.
“And the other thing… Ashley doesn’t have to know what happened here. If he finds out, it won’t be from me,” Nicolas continued. He crossed his arms over his chest, and his shirt came up, exposing that forbidden place between clean and dirty… a place she’d seen dangerously up close only hours ago. “He’s a good man. He’s good for you.”
“He is a good man,” she agreed, looking away.
Nicolas opened his arms, and she folded herself into him, tentatively. Flashbacks from the night before, of his strong warmth enveloping her, made her breath hitch. “You deserve to be happy. I’m not gonna be the guy who stands in the way of that.”
“Thank you.”
Nicolas walked her to the door. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will,” she lied.
“And if Lance Eckhart even so much as calls you—”
“I know,” Lauren said. “You’ll deal with it.”
“It was pretty good though… wasn’t it?” he asked, his smile growing mischievous.
“Seven times in one night,” she answered as she hovered in the doorway. “I guess those rumors about you were true.”
* * *
Ashley stared at her through bleary eyes as he sat in his underwear and robe in the dining room.
“Maybe you were right, when you said I had something for Nicolas,” Lauren said, pacing as he waited in anticipation for her to make her point. She’d been there ten minutes already, and had spent most of it rambling. None of her preparation on the drive back into the New Orleans had done her a bit of good.
“Okay…”
“The life-cycle of our friendship has been confusing. Maddening, wonderful, and over and over, and he’d been there for me through things that… things I didn’t think I ever wanted to share with someone.”
Ashley rubbed the sleep from his face and took a deep sip of coffee. “If you’re trying to convince me you’re in love with him, it’s working.”
“I’m not in love with him,” she said decisively. And as the words rolled off her tongue, they became whole and real. “But I do love him. He’s my friend, and I want him in my life. But not in my heart, or in my bed. Ashley, when you confronted me about this, I got really defensive, because I was still confused myself about it. I didn’t know how I felt, and I resented the accusation that I was feeling something I hadn’t even resolved internally, for myself.” She paused to gauge his reaction, to make sure he was tracking.
“I’m listening, Lauren.”
She stopped pacing. She pulled her arms over her head, wincing as the thoughts came to her. “What I feel for Nicolas is not the same thing as what I feel for you. If you can live with the unorthodox nature of my friendship with him, knowing that it’s not the same as what we have…” She pulled up the chair beside him and took his hands in hers. She was desperate for him to understand. “Then I want to prove to you that, where it matters, I am wholly yours, for as long as we both decide is right. I want to see where this goes. Where we go.”
Ashley smiled at her through his tired eyes. “I would like that, Lauren.”
“I can’t promise I’ll never hurt you,” Lauren said. “No one can make that promise. But I promise I’ll always be honest with you, and that if my feelings change, or I change, you’ll be the first to know. If that’s enough, then let’s do this.”
“Let’s do this,” he repeated, his smile widening. “Let’s give it a try.”
Lauren kissed him. She let her lips linger against his, sealing her promise.
She could do this. With him. What happened the night before could be erased as easily as Anasofiya had erased the physical wounds that led to it.
Gone.
All of it.
“We can still take it slowly,” she said.
Ashley nodded. “But not too slow.”
She grinned, her lips still pressed to his. “No, not too slow.”
Nicolas
He held it together until he heard Lauren’s hired car crunching back down the long driveway of Ophélie.
His head hung between his knees as he sat in the velvet armchair of the men’s parlor. It was the same chair he’d enjoyed cognac in, for years, often falling asleep there when he was too drunk to make his way up the stairs. The promise of the buzz, to kill the ache in his heart, proved almost too strong as he cast his eyes to where the silver tray housing his relief had lived for years.
“You’re a good man, Nicolas. You’re bigger than the temptation,” Richard said from the door. Richard was the closest thing Nicolas ever had to a true father figure, stepping in where Charles failed. Nicolas regretted never appreciating him enough over the years, too locked in his own selfishness to think of how his behavior was hurting others.
“I’ve gotta go into town, Richard. I won’t be home for dinner tonight.”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, son.”
“I know, but… please let the staff know. Condoleezza told me sometimes they make a big meal thinking I’ll be home, and then end up throwing some of it out. I don’t want them doing that on my account. I’ll try to be better about letting you know my plans.”
“If it’s all the same to you.”
“I’m not sure if I’ll be home tomorrow night, either.”
“Everything okay?”
Nicolas nodded as he raised his head. “It will be, Richard. It will be.”
“Want me to call a car?”
“Not today. I prefer to drive. Need my wits about me.”
“Very well. The 911 Turbo or the Navigator?”
Nicolas balked. “The 911, my friend. I said I needed my wits, not a nap.”
Richard smiled.
* * *
Nicolas rolled through the gears with silk precision. He loved to drive but saved the experience for when he needed to be fully present.
He downshifted on the sharp curve and then gunned it through the straight stretch, only slipping into sixth when he hit eighty. The engine purred in response, thanking him for a chance to do what she did best.
The mental checklist in his head was already speaking to him. He didn’t need a pen when he was in the zone. He’d remember every moment from this drive. Nicolas had lived so much of his life disordered that, when he cleaned up his act, the order presented itself as part of the package. As if to say, here, you’ll need this. What’s more, you’ll like it.
Nicolas wasn’t yet so good at planning, but structuring his needs into a plan was a skill he must have had all along somewhere within him, because it came so effortlessly. He was grateful for it now, when he had no choice but to manage through the chaos.
He started with something he’d been putting off, but with recent events, decided he could no longer.
“Call the Sullivans,” Nicolas said aloud as he rolled to the stop sign and prepared to turn right on LA-20. Saying the things aloud imprinted them and had a way of making him feel in control. “Time to move on trusts for the nieces and nephews. Claire, Naomi, Christian. It’s also time to document my intention to name Ana as heir. She’ll hate it, she already said no a hundred times, but it’s only hers if something happens to me. I can always change it to someone else later, when we’re not in danger.”
Nicolas hung a left on LA-317. “Don’t forget to make the calls about Eckhart. It may not be as big as what’s going on in the family, but it’s big to me, and it’s time sensitive. Lauren never has to know how utterly he was defeated. She only needs to know he’ll never bother her again.”
He let his thoughts drift for this next part of the drive. There wasn’t room to process the last twelve hours with Lauren. He was undoubtedly changed because of it, and so was she, but that change didn’t bring them closer. They promised one another their friendship wouldn’t be a victim of their impulsiveness, but Nicolas had the experience and wisdom to know better. You didn’t introduce sex to a friendship already confused by feelings and expect the confusion to melt away. At some point, he would need to accept that when he said goodbye an hour earlier and watched her walk out the door, that the goodbye was final, no matter what she said or promised. If he truly loved her, he’d let her keep going.
Well, if this was love, he was done with it. He didn’t want it. He’d been happier before he knew the pain of heartbreak. The whole you make me better crap was bullshit, true or not, because who cared if it was true when it only led to more pain?
“Moving on,” Nicolas said.
After Lauren fell asleep last night, he called Ana back. Call Aleksei.
You said not yet. It’s been an hour, Nic. What changed?
My confidence in the need of him. Can you get him to New Orleans by noon tomorrow?
Jesus. I don’t know. I need to look at flight schedules.
Fuck flight schedules. Get him on private.
Okay, okay. You gonna tell me what’s going on?
Yes, but it’s a long story, and I’d rather not tell it more than once. Collect Aleksei from the airfield tomorrow and meet me at Femme Forte at noon tomorrow. Bring Finn.
Femme Forte? Luther’s place?
I know you have questions. I promise I’ll tell you everything, Ana.
Right. Okay. Noon. Femme Forte. Aleksei. Finn. Check.
Nicolas instructed his car’s system to dial Luther.
“Nicolas,” his cousin answered gruffly. “Where the hell have you been?”
“Dealing with another important problem. We can have more than one.”
Luther grumbled. “This one is on a timetable. I’m on my way to Femme Forte right now, and I hope you’re doing the same.”
“I need you to make a stop along the way.”
“What? Where?”
“I’m really jonesing for some coffee from Morning Call.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Nah, I already had some of Condoleezza’s magical chicory café au lait. I need you to grab Sophie and Llewellyn. I have three others who are meeting us at Femme Forte at noon.”
“Who?”
Nicolas settled comfortably into the left lane and relaxed back in his seat. “Like I told them, I’ll explain everything when we’re all together.”
“Anything else?” Luther quipped.
“Can you call Charlotte and let her know to hold tight and we’re all on our way? If Lawrence isn’t there, he should be.”
“Haven’t you talked to her?”
“Not in a couple days.”
“Oh. Oh, dear.” Luther released a long breath. “So you don’t know.”
“Don’t know what?”
“You pulling together this grand plan of yours today is all coincidence then?”
“What are you talking about? Did something new happen?”
“I guess it’s my turn to tell you to be patient and wait for us all to get together.” Luther clicked off the line.
Nicolas’ next call was to Colleen. When she answered, he asked immediately, “Did you meet with Luther?”
“Nice to talk to you as well, Nicolas.”
“Did you?”
“I did. It seems you’ve been quite busy.”
“Can you be at Femme Forte within the hour? With Chelsea?”
“What’s going on?”
“Can you?”
“I can, although I can’t speak for Chelsea, but I don’t appreciate being left in the dark, Nicolas, and—”
It was his turn to end a call without a goodbye.
This was it. It was all he could do, for now.
He turned up the Led Zeppelin and closed off his thoughts for the remainder of the drive.
* * *
They were all there, assembled. Nicolas’ crack team of protectors, solvers, and those requiring the aforementioned.
His fellow Council members from the Paris excursion watched him, waiting for his lead. Their faces betrayed that they both expected something great and were prepared for disappointment. Colleen, Chelsea, Luther. They’d judge him later for this. It would either be what bought his credibility or what destroyed it.
Sophie and Llewellyn huddled near Charlotte on the couch, each flanking one side with Lawrence sitting nearby. They possessed knowledge that was only known to the others recently, and that knowledge brought them here. They’d be stunned to know their secret was no longer one.
Anasofiya had brought Aleksei and Finnegan, good on her word. Aleksandr was an anomaly that Nicolas was happy not to need to explain. Charlotte could clue Lawrence in later, when they had the luxury of time. Almost everyone present knew the story of his birth. How, when Ana was saved by the Empyrean Aidrik, her unborn child was given his genetic,s in addition to Finn’s, and when he was ultimately born, he grew to his adult size within weeks. Aleksandr wasn’t even two years old, but he resembled, and possessed the mental and emotional capacity of, a young man of about twenty. His short life had been full of turmoil and adventure, and when he chose to follow his heart and remain in Ireland with the woman he loved, Ana and Finn hadn’t stood in his way.
