Shattered Lives, page 42
part #2 of Rymellan Series
“I will pay you back.”
“Pay me back when you’ve graduated from art school and you’ve sold some paintings.”
Jayne shook her head. “That’ll never happen.”
Mo wasn’t sure if she meant the graduating part or the paintings part.
“I’ve always wanted to paint a mural. But that would require a lot of supplies.” Jayne paused. “And a wall.”
Mo struggled to keep a straight face as she put her hand on Jayne’s arm. “Supplies aren’t a problem. But the wall . . .” She glimpsed Les walking up to a group of military. Les smiled and nodded, but Mo had caught the pensive expression on her face before the false smile masked it. “Do you mind if I go see how Les is doing? You can come with me, if you want.”
“No, that’s okay. You go. I’ll have another sandwich.” Jayne reached for one, dislodging Mo’s hand from her arm.
“Sorry,” Mo mumbled; she’d forgotten it was there.
*****
Kevin watched Middleton walk away from the head table, resisting the urge to dart after her and warn her about the snake in their midst. The situation was more serious than he’d thought. He’d looked on in horror as Middleton and Adams chatted, Middleton with her hand on Adams’ arm. It hadn’t taken Adams long to snare Middleton; she clearly had her wrapped around her finger. His eyes bored into Adams’ back. Look at her, sitting there, thinking she belongs. The military present should be escorting her from Government Hall or, better yet, to an execution site! Instead they were milling around with a threat to the Way right under their noses. “Did you see that?” he murmured to Gwen.
“What?” Gwen said with a sigh.
“Adams and Middleton. They looked very cozy. Adams is doing to her what her papa did to Brenda.”
Gwen shook her head. “Kevin, they’re Chosens. Will you stop watching them, please? Go talk to the other overseers—do something, don’t just sit here.” She pointed. “Look, the band is setting up. We’ll be able to dance soon.”
Dance? How could she think about dancing? Had everyone lost their minds? They were all acting as if Adams wasn’t there. But perhaps all wasn’t lost. Thompson wasn’t paying much attention to her. She’d introduced her around, but since then had seemed content to let Middleton deal with her. Did she want to exercise CT134, but Middleton had already fallen for Adams’ false charm? Her speech had been rousing and inspirational; if not for her inaction regarding Adams, he wouldn’t doubt her strength in the Way. Perhaps Thompson wasn’t fooled and knew exactly what Adams was, but Middleton refused to cooperate with her and exercise the article.
His jaw clenched when a server placed another plate on the head table and Adams reached for whatever it held. Look at her, sitting there at a place of honour, probably with a smug look on her face. He shot from his chair, unable to stand it any longer.
“Kevin!” Gwen barked.
He ignored her. Adams was alone. He might not have another chance.
*****
Hoping her impatience didn’t show on her face, Lesley listened to an officer whose name she’d already forgotten. Nothing seemed to be registering; tonight was one of those nights where she tried to nod in all the right places and toss in a word here and there. Fortunately this officer seemed to enjoy the sound of her own voice.
When Mo hovered in her peripheral vision, Lesley seized the opportunity to get away. “Would you excuse me a minute? I’d just like a word with my Chosen.”
The officer nodded. “Of course. I’ll wait right here.”
With some effort, Lesley prevented her smile from wilting. She grasped Mo’s elbow and walked her to an empty spot. “Thanks for rescuing me.”
Mo peered at her. “Are you all right? You look . . . tense.”
“I’m fine,” she said, her voice tight.
“You sure?”
“Yes. I haven’t had a moment to myself, that’s all, and I still haven’t met half the people here. Admiral Hall says a group of overseers want to meet me, too.”
Mo lifted an eyebrow. “I wonder if that will include Kevin Stewart.”
Lesley had wondered the same thing, and wasn’t looking forward to it. She glanced over at the head table. Jayne was sitting alone, munching on something. Jayne. Her Chosen. Argamon! Lesley rubbed her forehead.
Mo touched Lesley’s arm. “Why don’t you take a break? Come over and sit with us.”
“No!” When Mo frowned, she added, “I have too many people to meet.”
“I’ll get Jayne and we’ll come with you. I’ll try to be chatty.”
No! “No, I’ll only worry about the two of you.”
“Les—”
“The dancing will start soon. I’m looking forward to dancing with you.”
Mo’s face relaxed, but she didn’t look pleased. “I hope you have time. I know you’ll have to dance with Jayne, but dance with me first.”
“I wish I only had to dance with you.” Lesley fervently meant it. She dreaded dancing with Jayne; in fact, she’d avoid going anywhere near her, if she could. If Jayne really was her Chosen . . . She had to figure out what that meant for her, for Mo, for all of them, something she couldn’t even start to do here, not while she was on display with the Medal of the Protector pinned on her chest. She wanted to rip it off and hide it.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Mo asked.
“I’m fine. Why don’t you go back to Jayne so she’s not by herself? I’ll join you when I can.”
Mo hesitated. “Okay. But if you want us with you, come get us, okay? And when the music starts, I’m coming to get you.”
“Good. I’ll need rescuing again by then.” Her smile probably didn’t fool Mo, but Mo let it go.
“The band is getting ready, so I’ll see you soon.” Mo walked away—in the opposite direction from the head table.
“Mo.”
Mo turned around.
“What about Jayne?”
“I’m going to the bathroom. She’ll be fine until I get back. Nobody wants to talk to her—except us.”
Lesley silently corrected her: Except you.
*****
Jayne rose when Mo walked away from Lesley. She’d said she didn’t mind if Mo went to see Lesley, but she’d expected Mo to return to the table so she wouldn’t be alone for long. Argamon, listen to her! She sounded like a cowering child who needed her hand held. Did it matter that everyone always looked away the moment she met their eyes? Who cared that people gawked from a distance? Rymellans had reacted that way most of her life. But usually it wasn’t military officers and government members doing the gawking and avoiding.
She was only here because she was Lesley’s Chosen—on paper—and when she could at least see Lesley or Mo, she felt safe. But now she was on her own and looked at the floor, wondering what to do. Should she sit back down? Follow Mo? Join Lesley? No, her presence would only make those speaking to Lesley uncomfortable, and the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass Lesley. She’d follow Mo. At least she’d be moving, not sitting by herself.
Eyes downcast, Jayne had only taken a few steps when someone grabbed her arm, startling her. She stopped, turned around, and tried not to look surprised.
“Watch your posture! It’s terrible!” Adelaide snapped. “You’re representing the Thompson family. You should stand tall and proud, not look like a frightened rabbit.”
“I’ll try,” she mumbled, grateful for Adelaide’s company, but also terrified.
Adelaide rolled her eyes. “Do more than try. Is this how you’ll stand on the steps of the Chosen House when you Join with my daughter? Because several have mentioned that they’ll be outside the Chosen House for your Joining Ceremony. The Joining of a triad is a historic event. I was just thinking about how it’ll almost be a public event, when I spotted you slinking around as if you have Argamon strapped to your back. It won’t do. You’re almost as tall as Lesley. When you’re on those steps, I want to see—” Jayne winced when Adelaide’s fingers dug into her wrist. “The Preeminent Ruler—she’s heading this way!” Excitement strained Adelaide’s voice. “Not a word, understand?”
Jayne nodded, knowing she wouldn’t dare say anything anyway.
The Preeminent Ruler smiled at Adelaide as she approached. “Adelaide Thompson, I believe.”
Adelaide murmured a greeting.
“And you must be Jayne Adams,” she added, briefly meeting Jayne’s eyes, then refocusing on Adelaide.
Rather than being offended, Jayne quickly forgave her. The Preeminent Ruler could have spoken to Adelaide at any time, but had deliberately chosen this moment. Even those with no political acumen wouldn’t be seen talking to an Adams in this crowd without having given it a great deal of thought. Jayne silently thanked her for the show of support—for Lesley. She wasn’t under any illusion that the Preeminent Ruler wanted to support an Adams.
“Your daughter is an inspiration to all Rymellans,” the Preeminent Ruler said. “I told Admiral Hall how fortunate we are that she pursued a military career.”
“Yes,” Adelaide said, nodding. “My Chosen and I were absolutely delighted when she told us she planned to sit the entrance exam for the military. ‘Lesley,’ we said, ‘serving in the military is one of the most honourable vocations a Rymellan can choose.’ We made sure to nurture and encourage her ambition at every opportunity.”
The Preeminent Ruler swept her arm in front of her. “And look where it led. The Medal of the Protector is a great honour, and well-deserved. Rymel is in your debt, and your Chosen’s.”
Jayne could almost feel Adelaide quivering with pride.
*****
“I suppose I shouldn’t keep you,” the talkative officer said to Lesley. “Congratulations again.”
“Thank you.” Lesley breathed a sigh of relief and quickly moved away before the officer changed her mind. She pretended not to notice another officer beckoning to her and strode to the nearest exit, needing a break and wishing it wouldn’t be rude to leave the reception early. A glance at the head table made her wonder where Mo and Jayne were, then she spotted Jayne and Mama talking to the Preeminent Ruler. Any other time, she would have joined them, but could she look the Preeminent Ruler in the eye, with the Medal of the Protector on her chest and the Chosen she’d denied standing next to her?
Seeing Mo approach them clinched the decision for her. Hoping they hadn’t seen her, Lesley managed to make it into the lobby without having to accept more congratulations. But even out here, someone waved to her. Once again, she acted as if she hadn’t seen the invitation. Perhaps she’d be safe outside.
For an instant, as she pushed open the nearest door, she saw herself bursting from Government Hall and running away from the congratulations, the expectations, the lie. But when could she stop running? She had no choice but to return to the reception, paste that false smile on her face, and play the role she’d been born to play. Before she returned to the lie, though, she wanted a few minutes of honesty. She stood alone outside while those inside celebrated her strength in the Way.
*****
Trembling with anger, Kevin watched as the Preeminent Ruler conversed with Adams, Middleton, and a woman he’d earlier deduced was Thompson’s mama. Had everyone gone mad? Didn’t anybody care about what had happened to Brenda? Had they forgotten?
“Kevin!” His hands clenched as Gwen pulled on his arm. “You can’t keep doing this. Maybe we shouldn’t have come.”
He yanked his arm away. “You’re the one who insisted we accept the invitation,” he spat, then regretted his words when she blinked rapidly. He sighed. “She looks so much like him.”
“But she’s not him.”
She was his flaming daughter! Oh, the Preeminent Ruler and Thompson were moving away, leaving Adams alone with Middleton.
“Come back to the table.” When he didn’t move, Gwen sighed. “What are you planning to do? Shout at her, here, in the middle of the reception? What do you think will happen? You’ll be the one in the wrong.”
Yes, apparently he would be, because the entire universe had been tipped on its ear! His heart raced—Adams had left Middleton and was walking in his direction!
“Kevin!” a voice cracked from somewhere far away. Feeling as if he were dreaming, he moved toward Adams.
*****
Jayne scanned for the bathrooms in the direction Mo had pointed, then froze. Laura had pointed Kevin Stewart out to her and Mo earlier, and there he was, directly in her path and heading her way! Panicking, she whirled, strode into the lobby, and pushed open the nearest door, not knowing where it led. She glanced around in confusion when she stepped outside.
“Adams!”
She turned around. Stewart had followed her outside.
A woman came through the door after him. “Kevin, no!” she cried.
He stopped in front of Jayne and pointed a trembling finger. “You know who I am, don’t you?” Barely able to breathe, she opened her mouth to squeak out a reply, but he continued. “You—your family—you—”
“Is there a problem, here?” someone asked from her right. Relief flooded through her; she couldn’t believe it! Lesley.
“No, there’s no problem,” the woman said, grasping Kevin’s arm, her Chosen ring clearly visible on her finger. “We were just leaving.”
Stewart shook his Chosen’s hand away. “I don’t know how you can show your face here!”
Jayne swallowed. “I’m here with my Chosens.”
His face reddened. “Chosens? What do you know about Chosens?”
Lesley thrust out her hand. “Watch yourself.”
“You’re an Interior officer,” he said indignantly. “You should—”
“Yes, I’m an Interior officer,” Lesley said with an edge to her voice, at the same time Stewart’s Chosen muttered an apology and tried to pull Stewart away. “I’m also Jayne’s Chosen, and we warned you to stay away from her.”
Stewart’s Chosen stopped tugging at Stewart and stared at him, open-mouthed. Jayne felt for her. She didn’t know. He hadn’t told her about his meeting with Laura. Did she know about the letters?
He pointed at Jayne and met her eyes. “Your papa—”
Lesley stepped forward. “Go inside, Kevin Stewart, or I’ll strike you under Article 267.”
Moved by the tears lurking in his Chosen’s eyes, and by the shocked recognition of the anguish and bewilderment in his, Jayne touched Lesley’s arm. “No. Please let him say what he has to say.” She braced herself.
When Lesley stepped back, Stewart took the gesture as permission to proceed. “Your papa killed my sister. She was twenty. Twenty! He took advantage of her. He destroyed our family. Your family should have been destroyed, too.” He glared at her, his lips trembling.
Jayne swallowed. “I was only twelve. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“They raised you.” His lip curled. “Do you honestly believe you’re different? That you won’t do exactly what they did? You are them.”
“That’s enough!” Lesley barked. “Go. Now. Or I will strike you. And I suggest you leave the reception.”
“Come on, Kevin,” his Chosen said, her face ashen. “I’m sorry.” She looked at Jayne. “I’m so sorry.”
“Will you stop apologizing?” Kevin shouted.
“I’d go now,” Jayne said to his Chosen, who didn’t seem to know what to do.
Lesley stepped forward again. “Go!” she shouted. “Or do you want to be hauled out by military in front of your peers and the Preeminent Ruler?”
Either Lesley’s words finally got through to him, or his Chosen’s wet cheeks brought him to his senses. He threw Jayne one last dirty look, then stomped away. His Chosen chased after him.
Shaking, Jayne covered her mouth and turned away.
“Are you all right?” Lesley asked.
She nodded.
“He shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, especially since we’d already warned him. I could have struck him.”
“He’s not angry with me, Lesley. Not really.” She’d seen his anguished and confused eyes in the mirror enough times, when she’d wondered how they could have done it and wanted someone to blame. Stewart blamed her papa, and given the circumstances, she couldn’t disagree with him. But for the longest time, she’d blamed herself, convinced that there had to be a connection between her arrival home from the Indoctrination Academy and the chaos that ensued a few weeks later.
If she hadn’t been home, would it still have happened? Could she have prevented it? Why hadn’t she suspected? In hindsight, her parents had seemed tense, almost uncomfortable, during their last visit at the Indoctrination Academy, but what child would jump to the awful conclusion that they were involved with others? She hadn’t given the visit much thought, until she’d lain awake at night after the Incident, searching for answers.
She didn’t blame herself, not anymore, but ironically, she probably understood how Kevin Stewart felt more than most did. He could say the same about her, if he didn’t see her as a monster. “I hope he’s seeing a counsellor,” she murmured, still not facing Lesley.
“He is. But that doesn’t seem to be helping much.”
No. She was frightened for him, and for his Chosen. “What are you going to do?”
“We should definitely keep a closer eye on him. I’ll let Laura know what happened. Perhaps she’ll speak to his counsellor.”
“She won’t do anything more than that, will she?” When Lesley didn’t answer, Jayne turned to her.
