One Wild Texas Night, page 14
With each word, his hurt deepened, and finally he felt a twinge of anger because she wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t accept his apology, wouldn’t give him a chance. If she was so hell-bent on being let in on the secret about her sister, maybe he should just throw the other family secret at her.
“I’ll get my things,” she said and turned to start out of the room.
“All right, Claire,” he said. “You want me to share family secrets with you that concern you,” he said, anger and hurt overcoming his judgment. She stopped walking, turned and frowned, staring at him.
“Do you want me to share another big family secret with you? One you can’t tell anyone else and I’ve never told anyone. I’ll be happy to trust you with it.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and continued to stare at him. “Okay, Jake, what is it?”
“Here’s another one about your family and mine. That third brother of yours. His mother is your mother...but his dad is my father.”
“Laird?” Her eyes widened, and she looked stunned.
“Yes, Laird. And he might not know this—he didn’t when I was told. His mother is your mother, as everybody thinks, but his dad is my dad, not yours. My dad thought I should know that we’re related and both of us are his sons. He didn’t tell me until I was older. That’s why there was such bitterness and active fighting between our dads and our grandfathers, because all four of them knew the truth.”
“Laird is only my half brother?”
“Yes, Laird is half brother to both of us.”
She barely heard his answer. Her mind reeled with all the shocks—Regina, Laird—and the pain of Jake’s betrayal. That hurt overwhelmed her, and she realized she had fallen in love with Jake or she wouldn’t be feeling so hurt by him. She was hurt by what he did, and she was hurt because she would never go out with him again. That was incredible pain, and it meant she was deeply in love with him. She tried to push away the thought and listen, because he was still talking to her.
“...and Laird and I are friends. Now are you happier that you know that secret?”
“That’s different from knowing about Regina. That secret about Laird does explain why there was such animosity with our dads. And maybe why Laird is different from my other brothers. Otherwise, that information has little to do with me.”
He stared at her and knew there wasn’t any fixing their broken relationship, and that hurt. He had never hurt over losing a woman before, but now he felt physical pain. He hadn’t intended to hurt her, and he regretted keeping the picture. He wished he could go back and live some moments over to undo the pain he had caused her.
* * *
As Claire walked away, she dropped the picture, letting it fall to the floor. She passed him without looking at him and hurried down the hall to get her things. The driver would be at the gate before she could possibly get there.
She had only a few things to pack. When she was ready to go, Jake stood in the doorway.
“I told you to leave me alone.”
“Let me drive you to the gate. That’s a damn long walk.”
“Very well,” she said, nodding and knowing he was right. She should have told the driver to pick her up at his cabin. “I don’t have much to carry.”
She walked to the door, and he followed her into the hall. They walked in silence to his pickup, and he held the door for her. Hurting, fighting tears and still steeped in anger, she climbed in and didn’t look at him. As she thought how badly she hurt, she realized this might be the last time she saw Jake.
Maybe her anger with him would help her get over him.
Jake got in, and as he drove, they were both silent. She’d said all she wanted to say to him, and truthfully, she couldn’t wait to get away from him. She hurt all over. She felt angry, betrayed and in pain. Her heart ached. She didn’t want to admit that she had fallen in love with him, but she knew she had. How could she have avoided it after their first kiss? It was going to hurt terribly at first to leave him and not see him anymore, but she couldn’t stay. Besides, she told herself, she’d always known this day would come sometime anyway.
Trying to get her thoughts off Jake, she thought about what he had told her about Laird. She rarely saw Laird now that they were grown, and they weren’t close at all when they were together. Even so, it was still a shock, but it was a possible explanation for why Laird wasn’t like her other two brothers. Her mother had had an affair with Jake’s dad in spite of the strong feud. She was surprised there hadn’t been bigger battles between the dads and between the families, but her mother had her own money, was very independent and had kept a reasonable amount of peace in the family when she was alive.
Then she thought about her sister. Regina had four kids. The oldest one looked almost eighteen. A girl named for her. Claire. She was Aunt Claire. She felt another stabbing pain of longing to meet these children who were related to her. She longed to talk to Regina, just briefly. If Jake had told her about Sam and Regina, would she have been able to promise not to contact Regina?
She didn’t want to answer her own question because it didn’t matter now. She still didn’t know where Regina was, and Jake wasn’t going to tell her.
She could understand why Regina had severed ties. Clyde, Les and her dad had been capable of doing real damage to someone if they were angry enough. But as worried she was that they might have even done something to Jake, too, that wouldn’t be true now. They were all older. Her dad had probably stopped his fighting long ago because of being older and not well. He wouldn’t fight over Laird now at all. The last time she saw her dad, he’d had a cane and an eye patch, and he looked frail.
As rotten as they could be, her brothers had jobs and businesses they started, and she couldn’t imagine them fighting now, because now they had too much to lose. They were successful businessmen, Clyde in real estate and Les in construction but she suspected they didn’t worry much about ethics.
She stared out the window. Every mile took her away from Jake. She wouldn’t see him again, wouldn’t talk to him or be with him again. They wouldn’t kiss again. That hurt, but she couldn’t stay with him after learning that he knew about Regina. He would have shared the truth if he had really trusted her. She wondered how long she would live with the hurt.
They reached Jake’s gate, which stood open. “I’ll get out here, Jake. You don’t need to wait with me,” she said, determined not to give in to tears. She hurt, but her anger overrode her pain. “Thank you for taking me in and for everything you did for me.”
“I don’t want you to go like this, Claire, but you know what you want.”
She was still angry with him, shocked over his knowledge of her sister’s whereabouts. At the same time, she was in love with him, and telling him goodbye was already the most painful thing she’d ever had to endure.
It had been inevitable from the outset because she’d always known they had no future together. Jake wasn’t a marrying man, and she couldn’t marry a Reed. She gave a sarcastic laugh to herself. That would bring her brothers and her dad back to town, for sure. But she wanted peace and harmony with her family and keeping Jake close would not be good. And now, she felt she couldn’t trust him.
She wondered if the next time Jake talked to his brother if he would even tell Sam that she had found their picture and knew he was in contact with them. If he did tell Sam, would it make a difference?
She wondered, too, if Regina had missed her half as much as she missed Regina. Probably not because when Regina left, she was no doubt wrapped up in being in love with Sam and getting married. Her eleven-year-old sister wouldn’t have been that big a part of her life after she left home and married. Especially if she got pregnant right away. Now she had Sam and four kids to love. Regina had probably severed ties and never looked back and figured Claire had gone on with her life, too.
Claire remembered her friend Stefanie’s joy over being an aunt and what fun Stefanie had with her nieces and nephews. Stefanie got to see her nieces and nephews. Claire never had and never would. There wasn’t any joy in discovering she was an aunt when she couldn’t possibly see or talk to her nieces and nephews. Even if they met her now, they would have no interest in her, because they had never known her.
Pain filled her for so much that had happened in the past, but it was Jake causing the deep hurt. Regina had been gone a long time, and that hurt had dulled through the years—Claire had learned to live with it. What hurt now was telling Jake goodbye, because she had fallen in love with him. She hurt because she loved him, but if she had it to do over, she would react the same way. Jake should have told her about Regina and Sam and trusted her, which he would have if he loved her. Obviously he was not in love with her.
She had known from the start that she was going to get hurt by Jake. She’d known he wouldn’t fall in love, and she had guessed that she would. Well, she had, and it hurt terribly to tell him goodbye.
She finally gave in to tears, crying, missing him already, knowing he was gone from her life. Would she ever really get over him? Could she ever forget him?
She heard a car and saw the one coming that had been described to her as her ride. Wiping her eyes, she shouldered her bag and glanced back one time in the direction of Jake’s cabin. All she could see were mesquite trees scattered across the fenced fields. Jake had driven away and out of her life.
She turned as the car stopped and a driver got out to greet her and open a back door for her.
* * *
Jake drove home and sat in his car after he had parked. He stared into space, seeing Claire and thinking about her. It hurt to have her go and have her angry with him. He had never parted that way with anyone else.
He hated to part that way, and he hated that Claire had been hurt. Honestly, he hadn’t thought once about that picture. He hadn’t even looked at it since it came last year. But she wouldn’t listen to him now. She was in shock, and maybe when the shock wore off, he could talk to her.
He had always kept his brother’s secret, and he was still staying true to his promise. Sam and Regina had never contacted any of their relatives here, including Claire, so he’d just stayed true to his vow of secrecy. After all these years, he didn’t give enough thought to Claire still wanting to connect with her sister—and he should have started thinking about that when they became closer and intimate. He’d made a mistake, and he wished he could fix it. But it was too late now. He suspected Claire had said goodbye to him forever.
With a sigh, he got out of his pickup and went inside. He needed to go work—tough physical work that would take his mind off Claire and enable him to get over her. He wished he could talk her out of her decision to leave, but he knew he couldn’t. Her relationship with her sister had been tight, and he had a feeling Claire’s feelings would never change. She’d never understand why he hadn’t shared that info with her—but he had given a promise, and he kept his promises.
He swore softly. He needed to find some work that would take his mind off Claire. He needed to work straight through the night. His nights had been spent with Claire in his arms and their fabulous lovemaking. He was going to have to work himself close to passing out tonight if he hoped to get one second’s sleep.
He already missed her, and that surprised and worried him. He had never missed any woman before. He hadn’t been ready to say goodbye to Claire. He couldn’t recall any time a woman had walked away when he wasn’t ready to see her go. But he wasn’t ready with Claire.
“Damn,” he said quietly. He already missed her, and she had just gotten out of his sight. He went to get some tools. He had some jobs he had put off doing, and now was a good time because they were demanding, physical jobs that would tire him out and take his mind off Claire.
He told himself he’d get over her soon, because he hadn’t known her long enough to be deeply serious. What he needed was time and to keep busy and to go out with someone really fun who could occupy his mind.
She wasn’t that important to him.
But he couldn’t ignore that nagging voice inside his head that repeated the same question over and over again. If she isn’t, why do you hurt so badly?
He changed clothes, got tools and drove out to an area where cedars had taken root. Even a little cedar was a chore to dig up and get rid of, but hard work was exactly what he needed.
Jake began to dig, working furiously, determined to get Claire out of his thoughts.
It was dark when he returned to his dim, empty house. He went to his gym to work out and run on a treadmill. He hoped to work off some of his worries and also to try to reach a point where he might sleep a little tonight.
He finally showered, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and went to the kitchen to get dinner, but nothing sounded good—he wasn’t hungry, and he missed Claire more than he would have thought possible.
Instead of dinner, he reached for a beer. As he sat at the table with it, he took out his small directory of phone numbers and addresses and looked for his brother’s. He sat there for twenty minutes debating whether to make the call. Then finally he picked up his phone and called Sam.
* * *
Claire sat in the empty hotel room. She had cried until she thought she couldn’t possibly have any more tears left. And then she cried again. She cried over Jake, over her sister, over the whole dang feud.
Her phone rang, and her pulse jumped. It beat even faster when she saw that the call was from Jake.
Her heartbeat raced faster when she answered and heard his deep voice. “Claire, it’s Jake. I’ve talked to Sam,” he said, talking fast. “I called to tell him about you and that you found their picture, so I had to tell you a few things.”
Shocked, she listened. She hadn’t thought about what Jake might do because she was too busy sobbing, missing him and wishing she was with him. How deeply in love with him was she?
“Claire? Are you still there?”
“I’m here,” she replied.
“Regina wants you to call them. They were going to call you, but they thought they might have trouble getting through and you would have a better chance. You can FaceTime them or you can just phone. Your choice. That’s straight from Regina. When you’re ready, I’ll tell you the number.”
She was amazed. When she could finally formulate the words, she said, “Jake, thank you. Go ahead. What’s her number?”
She listened and wrote down the number on the hotel pad. Her heart raced over getting to call Regina, over Regina wanting her to call and over Jake doing this for her.
“Jake, thank you,” she said again. She missed him, wished she had handled things a little differently, but she was still too deeply hurt that he hadn’t confided in her. “I’ll call Regina now.”
“Good luck. It’s good to hear your voice. I miss you.” His voice grew thick with emotion and then he cleared his throat. “Go on and give her a call.”
“I will right now. Thanks,” she said, reluctant to break the connection with him, yet knowing it was over between them. She just didn’t think she’d ever be able to get past his lack of trust in her. His deception. Besides, she told herself, they wouldn’t have had a future together anyway because of the old feud. There was no way she would lose her connections with her family.
Regina had lived all these years cut off from the family members she loved. Jake’s brother had lived cut off from his family and from Jake. She didn’t want that. Even if Jake got down on his knee and proposed and offered her a ring, she would have to say no.
She didn’t want to live cut off from the relatives she loved the way Regina had.
She ended the call with him and punched in the telephone number Jake had given her. In seconds, she couldn’t believe it—she was talking to her sister and looking at her. “Regina, I’ve missed you so much. I’m going to cry, and I can’t help it. You look wonderful, and you have a family. I want to see them.”
“Jake told us about the fire. I’ve missed you so, but it seemed best just to sever the ties. I didn’t want to take a chance on Dad or our brothers discovering you knew where we are. They would have ruined your life until you told them. I love you too much to allow that to happen.”
Her sister wiped at the tears in her eyes. Regina might look different, but the minute they started talking, Claire recognized the sister that she loved. “I’m sorry if that was wrong, Claire. Actually, part of it is still thinking of you as my little sis and so young, which is silly. You grew up just like I did. I’ll send you a ticket if you can fly out here and visit us before you start getting all involved in building a new ranch house. Can you come visit?”
“Oh yes,” she said, crying with joy and excitement. “I’d love to see all of you. I can come as soon as I can make flight arrangements. But you don’t need to get my ticket. I’ll get it.”
“I should have contacted you, but when I left, you were a little girl, and I didn’t think it would be a good idea to call you. If our dad had discovered we were talking, he might have used you to force me to come home. He would have wrung out of you how to get in touch with me if you had known. I was afraid you’d get hurt trying to protect me. Then as the years went by, I just let it go.” Regina ran a hand through her short hair. “I still love you, Claire, and I still miss you. Don’t think I ever stopped loving you or missing you.”
“Oh, Regina, I understand. You were probably right to protect me at that age.”
They talked for an hour, and after that Claire spoke to each of the children, getting to know them a little. She couldn’t believe the oldest was almost out of high school. When they finally said goodbye, Claire smiled and threw her arms in the air. She wanted to celebrate—with Jake. Then, her smile faded.
