“Oh!” I moaned, shocking myself as I gushed over his full mouth and dribbled down his chin. His fingers closed tightly around my buttocks, and he continued to suck forth each drop I spilled until I felt like I had floated away.

  I was sensitive and I jerked when he suctioned over it, the tip of his tongue jutting forth to play one last time before pulling himself up to meet my face with his.

  “You taste delicious,” he told me. But blood was still rushing in my ears, making his words difficult to hear or heed fully. All I knew was that a primitive need to join him to me was beyond reason, and I wrapped my calves around his back, thrusting myself upward to feel the tip of him into me. I couldn’t bear it a second longer, and Trevor seemed to sense I was on the edge of losing my mind. He succumbed to my unspoken desire, filling me deeply, and I moaned, my voice raising when he dove inside deeply.

  “Shit…” It was meant to be a cry, but it came out a strangled whisper, this thickness and length of his unit taking my breath away—again. Trevor propped himself up so that we could lose ourselves in one another’s eyes.

  He didn’t speak again, but I probably wouldn’t have heard him. I was consumed by the fire glowing in his emerald irises as I built toward another climax.

  He grunted, his eyes growing larger, and I felt the swell of him inside me as I expelled another release on him until we were comingled again.

  “Oh…gods…Jane…”

  The noise he made was a cross between a howl and a sigh, leaving me breathless for a moment as I heard the beast inside him. Three long, hard jerks brought him to the end of his climax, and he fell forward as if that had expelled every last drop of energy from him.

  Trevor’s heart pounded steadily, synching with mine, and I laid in his arms without moving or making a sound. Like I had before, I only wanted to savor the moment for every second it was worth, and I could tell he felt the same.

  As if he was reading my mind, he sighed.

  “What would it take to stay like this forever?” He mumbled. I laughed and cocked my head to look at him.

  “In here?” I teased. “I could think of better places to spend eternity.”

  Trevor raised his head and locked eyes with me.

  “If I was with you, I wouldn’t really care,” he muttered. The sentiment flooded me with heat, and I realized that this was the real deal. The feelings that I had for Trevor were more than reciprocated. Whatever our differences, whatever our pasts, we had found common ground.

  “Am I even supposed to be here?” I asked nervously, understanding for the first time that I was probably not welcome. Trevor slid up my body like a snake and kissed my lips sweetly.

  “I don’t care,” he replied as we pulled apart, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “You should,” I said. “Won’t your commanding officer have something to say about sneaking women into your bunker in the middle of the night?”

  Trevor grunted lightly.

  “He might if he were here,” he muttered, and I instantly regretted bringing it up. I could tell that his job was a sore spot with him.

  “Then I guess we’ll have to keep this our dirty little secret,” I said lightly, kissing his forehead. I wasn’t about to let anyone or anything ruin the happiness I’d finally found again after so long. The hardest thing to admit was that I had been wrong about the shifters. Even if I’d wanted to think that logically, emotionally, I had never been able to forgive the entire species for what they had stolen from me in Christopher. I knew now that I couldn’t fault Trevor anymore than I could fault myself for the Ted Bundys of the world.

  I snuggled back against my lover, the smell of him consuming me.

  He’s right. It wouldn’t matter where we go. I could stay like this forever.

  Chapter Twelve

  Trevor

  The euphoria of being with Jane lasted over the next day. We slipped off the base on Monday morning and returned to her house. She was off work, and we spent the rest of the day talking and making love.

  I took her to pick up her Chevy Lumina at the shop, and when she went to pay the bill, I took care of it instead. I fully expected a fight, which I got, but I could tell that she was relieved after it was all said and done.

  “Why don’t you buy a new car?” I asked. I instantly felt stupid the moment I’d asked, realizing that it was a money issue. As a bartender, she couldn’t have made much money. To my surprise, she laughed.

  “I love Bernadette,” she replied.

  “Bernadette?”

  “That’s her name.”

  I snorted but then realized that I found her pet name endearing. In fact, I was beginning to find everything about Jane endearing. I could see that her hard exterior was just a cover for her sensitive underside, and I vowed never to hurt her.

  At seven o’clock, as we sat down to Chinese take-out in front of the television, my phone rang. The sound of it stunned both of us. It was the first time either cell had gone off since we’d been together. My happiness faded slightly as I read the name on the screen.

  “Excuse me,” I said, sighing as I took the call. “Washington.”

  “Hey,” Donovan said. “Where are you?”

  “Out,” I replied crisply. “What’s wrong?”

  “The team is back. They’re asking about you.”

  My heart stopped. Of course I’d known they’d be back sooner or later, but a small part of me had hoped that they would stay away just a little bit longer.

  “All right.” My voice was nonchalant.

  “Are you coming back to the base?”

  “Eventually,” I snapped. I wasn’t mad at Dice. I wasn’t mad at anyone. I just didn’t want my worlds to collide now that I’d found some semblance of happiness for the first time in decades.

  “What should I tell everyone?” Dice pressed, and I scowled.

  “What I just told you. That I’ll be back eventually.”

  I didn’t wait for Dice to respond, and I disconnected the call, turning my full attention to Jane.

  “What was that all about?”

  “Nothing,” I said quickly. “Just work.”

  Jane’s eyebrows shot up, but she wisely said nothing. Instead, she reached across the table and picked up a carton of egg foo young. I thanked her when she put some on my plate, but a darkness had seeped into the room now, and I knew she could feel it too.

  It was going to be back to reality now, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  To my chagrin, the entire team was out in the fields when I finally drove back home on Monday night. I had hoped that it was late enough to avoid seeing anyone, but the Shadows were in full training mode, their animal forms combatting one another in the darkness.

  “TREV!”

  Instantly, my Jeep was surrounded, and in spite of my misgivings, I had to admit that it felt good to be missed by the others.

  “How are you doing, man?” Darric demanded when I climbed out of my vehicle to greet them. “We were worried about you.”

  I gestured at my body and shrugged.

  “I’m still in one piece,” I joked.

  “Those arrows were coated in silver,” Zeus told me. “That’s why you were taken down so hard.”

  That certainly made sense, but it didn’t alleviate the tension growing in my gut. It didn’t feel right being around the team now, like I’d let them down somehow.

  “How did the rest of the mission go?” I asked, knowing that it must have gone well or they wouldn’t be standing there.

  “Seamlessly,” Alder said flatly. I realized that it was meant to be a jab at me, but I refused to respond.

  “Come train with us,” Mason urged. “We’re just warming up.”

  It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew I wasn’t exactly in a position to refuse. I’d already been off for too many days. I knew how Slater felt about idleness, and while I didn’t think Dice would rat on me, it wouldn’t be hard for the general to figure out that I hadn’t been hitting the fields like I should have been.

  “Sure,” I mumbled, shifting as the others did. Instinctively, we split into groups of two and dispersed into the trees behind the compound. This was a game of survival and instinct, the last wolf standing the winner.

  I heard the snarls of two of my teammates getting into it already, so I scurried off into the darkness to lay low, but I’d barely taken two steps when Alder took my back.

  Yelping, I fell over, and he stared down at me with contempt in his eyes. He morphed to scold me.

  “You’re either really out of practice or you’re not even trying,” he lectured me. I gritted my teeth, not wanting to get into it with the oldest member of the team.

  “I’m still recovering,” I mumbled, humiliated by the cop out. I didn’t want to admit failure, and last week, I probably wouldn’t have, but after everything that had happened, self-reflection was making me question what it was I really wanted.

  Alder scoffed at my excuse and let me up.

  “Then you better go rest,” he said snidely. I bristled at his tone, but I didn’t argue with him. I hadn’t wanted to train in the first place.

  “Washington!”

  I turned back to look at Alder.

  “What?”

  “Slater wants to see you first thing tomorrow,” he told me. I felt a lurch of nervousness in my gut at the announcement.

  “Did he say why?” I asked before I could stop myself.

  “It probably has something to do with your recovery,” Alder said sarcastically. I snorted and spun away, carefully avoiding the rest of my team as I did. In less than five minutes, I had located my Jeep and crossed over the gates to the compound. It was a good thing that Jane and I had slept as well as we had the night before, because something told me that I would not sleep again that night.

  The general kept me waiting for almost an hour. Every minute that ticked by only fueled my anxiety until he finally strode from the back office to nod curtly at me.

  “Washington.”

  That was all he said before spinning back around to reenter his space. I realized he expected me to follow him, which I did, the salute dying on my forehead.

  This is not a good start, I thought. Slater was not a pleasant man under the best of circumstances. If he were annoyed, he was a brute. I had mostly managed to stay on his good side, but gauging by the look on his face in that moment, I suspected that my luck may have run out.

  “Sit down, Lieutenant.”

  I hesitated before doing as instructed.

  “How are you healing?”

  “Well, sir. It took a while, but I’m almost fully recovered.”

  “That’s not what you told Cobb last night, is it?” Slater shot back. My mouth gaped open.

  Goddamn you, Alder! You ratted me out to the general?

  “I’m still a little bit weak, sir, but I understand that the arrows were poisoned.”

  “That coupled with the fight you got yourself into on Saturday night do not make for good healing, Washington.”

  I felt all the blood drain out of my face.

  How does he know all this stuff? The man has eyes everywhere!

  “That is true, sir,” I admitted. “But as I said, I am on the right path.”

  “You’re not on the right path, Washington, not at all. You have been struggling to keep up with the others since you joined the team.”

  Suddenly, all the blood returned to my face, humiliation staining my cheeks red.

  “I am younger and newer than the others, sir,” I rasped, trying to keep the resentment out of my voice.

  “And more impulsive,” Slater added. “You went after that rogue group without informing anyone of your intentions. If you had sought backup, you would never have been shot.”

  I ground my teeth together to keep from challenging his assessment.

  Or more of us would have been shot.

  “You might be the newest member of the the Relief Division, but you have still been here long enough to understand protocol and follow orders, haven’t you?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And yet when you returned home, after leaving your team down a man, you did not stay on bedrest as I instructed. Instead, you left the hospital against orders and then got into a fight in town.”

  “Sir, that was—”

  “That did not require an answer. Moreover, I understand you had a civilian on the property last night.”

  I almost groaned aloud.

  “Sir, if you let me explain—”

  “There is nothing to explain, Washington. Either you can follow orders or you can’t. Thus far, it looks like you have troubles with simple instructions.”

  Denial shot through me as I realized where this conversation was headed.

  Is he looking to get rid of me?

  Dread almost entirely consumed me at the idea. Without the Relief Division, what did I have?

  “I can follow instructions, sir, and I will! I do!” I blubbered, a wave of dizziness flashing through me.

  “Can you?”

  He stared at me, his dark eyes boring holes through my head, and I felt myself withering underneath his gaze.

  “Of course, sir. Please, sir, give me another opportunity to prove it to you and the team.”

  Without speaking, Slater continued to stare at me, and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

  He really is thinking about getting rid of me. Just like that!

  It was a sickening feeling, being so dispensable. I thought of my parents and how easily they had cast me aside. It was a recurring theme in my life, it seemed.

  “I’ll give you one last chance, Washington, but know that I’ll be watching you very closely.”

  I swallowed the resentment in my throat and nodded quickly.

  “Understood, sir,” I mumbled.

  “I won’t tolerate any more insolence or disobedience from you, Washington, and I expect you to train with the team when you’re called upon.”

  “Yes, sir. I will, sir.”

  He continued to stare at me with his intense eyes, a grunt escaping his lips before he finally wrenched his eyes away and fixed them on the computer screen in front of him like the mere sight of me disgusted him.

  “You’re dismissed.”

  Slowly, I rose from my spot and turned to leave the office, my pulse roaring in my ears. It wasn’t until I was outside in the damp air that I wondered what it was that I was fighting so hard to keep.

  I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be part of the Shadows anymore, but what else was there for me if not the Relief Division?

  The lack of answers made my stomach flip.

  The smartest thing to do would have been to leave Slater’s office and run for the backwoods to unleash the anger and frustration I was feeling. I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone, least of all anyone on my team. I was worried that if I saw Alder, I might release all my fury on him, even though I knew I had no one but myself to blame for the situation.

  A shift will do me good, I thought, jogging toward the back of the compound. But as I moved, I realized that depression was slowing me down. Asnd despite being fully healed, I was paining in places that I had been hurt.

  It was melancholy seeping into me. I knew that logically, but I couldn’t fight it. Each step I took made me heavier and more sluggish until I reached the back of the compound and stared at the high, barbed wire fence. Scaling it was child’s play for any of us. We’d done it a thousand times in our career. Yet staring at it now, the height seemed insurmountable, and simply staring up at it hurt my neck. The thought of running freely in my beastly form exhausted me. I didn’t even want to walk back across the compound to my unit.

  Go home and sleep, a sensible voice inside me instructed, but the notion of rest was laughable too. As heavy as I felt, there was an antsy feeling about me. I wouldn’t be able to sleep any more than I was able to run free in the woods.

  I was spiraling downward, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

  Slowly, sluggishly, I turned to make my way back to my unit, silently praying that I did not encounter anyone on the way.

  Of course, I could never be that lucky, and no sooner had I turned down one of the compound streets, did Darric appear.

  “There you are,” he said, grinning. “We’re going to the Raven for lunch and a beer. You coming?”

  I opened my mouth to refuse, but before I could, Darric held up a hand.

  “Come on, Trev. We haven’t spent any time with you. Zeus was just saying that he feels out of synch with you.”

  I grimaced, knowing that Slater would have something to say if he learned I was brushing off the team again.

  And Jane is working the day shift today, I remembered, my heart lightening some at the thought. Everything might be going to hell at work, but things were still smooth sailing with Jane.

  If anyone can get me out of this funk, it’s her, I thought.

  “So?” Darric pressed. “What do you say?”

  I eyed him.

  “Is Alder going?” I asked suspiciously. Darric looked surprised by the question, and he laughed.

  “Of course not. Since when does Elder Alder ever do anything fun?” He joked. He paused and studied me pensively. “Why? You two fighting?”

  I shook my head, not wanting to drag Darric into it.

  “Give me fifteen minutes to change,” I agreed. “I’ll meet you at the gates.”

  “Good!” Darric cried happily, clapping me on the back. “You’re buying!”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jane

  The afternoon shift was a refreshing change from the usual boisterous nights, but they could be boring too. Luckily for me, I had a surprise visitor that Tuesday afternoon.

  I hadn’t realized that Trevor’s team was back from their mission. I hadn’t spoken to Holly since the night I’d called and forced her to give me Trevor’s whereabouts. Frankly, I think she was a bit annoyed with me for making her disclose that information, but she would get over it.

 

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