Watch Out for Her, page 19
“I made some plans for us.” Holly grins, excited to see the look on Sarah’s face when she finds out the surprise Holly’s arranged for today. She did it before Sarah got up. “Jacob’s brushing his teeth. I went up a few minutes ago.”
“Plans? I promised Jacob I’d take him to the Granville Island Water Park this afternoon. We go every year.” Sarah joins her at the kitchen table, where Holly’s been staring into her cereal. “I thought we could all go together.”
“I have another idea.” She smiles. “Jacob’s going to his friend Leo’s house for a playdate today.”
Sarah’s eyes snap to her. “How did you even get Leo’s mom’s number?”
Sarah looks a little annoyed. Maybe Holly’s overstepped?
“Oh, I ran into them out front over the weekend. Karen introduced herself and told me Jacob and Leo are good friends, so we made plans for today.” This isn’t exactly how it happened, though. She got the phone number of Leo’s mom by snooping in Sarah’s phone this morning. It was easy. The phone was just sitting on the kitchen counter. Sarah doesn’t even have a lock screen.
Sarah stares at her, not speaking.
Holly can’t stop talking. “I booked us a mani/pedi. I wanted to do something nice for you because you’re always taking care of everyone else. Even me.”
Sarah looks like she’s about to say something, then stops. She flops back in the chair and rubs her eyes. Holly wants to hug her, to tell her everything’s going to be okay, but she has to tread carefully. All she wants is for everything to be okay.
“That’s… that’s really nice of you, Holly. And you’re right. I’m completely depleted. I’m tired of keeping this family together on my own, and you’re the only one who seems to notice that I need a break.”
Holly takes her hand. “I don’t know what it’s like to be a mom, and I definitely never had a real role model for one. But just so you know—you’re an amazing mother.”
Sarah squeezes her hand, then releases it and gets up. “Did you tell Jacob about going to Leo’s? He was really excited about the water park, and I don’t want to disappoint him.”
Holly nods. “He’s happy to see Leo. I told him not to say anything about their playdate until I told you.”
Sarah’s mouth turns down. “You told my son to lie?”
Holly feels awful. Her plan to make Sarah feel better is a disaster. “No, I would never do that. I meant for it to be a nice surprise for you.”
Sarah sighs. “Of course you did. God. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Thank you, Holly. I mean it.”
Holly’s shoulders relax in relief. “You’re welcome. This summer is supposed to be about you and your photography, remember? That’s why I’m here. You’ve posted only two pictures to Instagram, and those are shots from before the summer. I haven’t seen anything you’ve done since I started babysitting.”
She doesn’t say anymore, not for now. She has to stay close to Sarah, keep her on her side. If she ever found out the risks Daniel’s taking with their lives, she’d be completely undone. Holly will protect her.
* * *
Sarah’s and Holly’s feet are in tubs of hot, soapy water, and they’re reclining in massage chairs. Sarah drove, and when they dropped Jacob off at Leo’s, Holly was relieved that his mom, Karen, just waved from the porch. Holly didn’t want to get caught in the lie that she’d met Karen over the weekend. She’s never met her in person at all. She texted Karen from her phone.
Holly and Sarah were comfortably silent on the drive to the salon, and after Sarah parked outside and they entered the cool, serene space that smelled like lavender, Sarah visibly relaxed. Holly almost heard her bones sigh. Now two nail technicians sit on small stools in front of them and begin massaging their feet. Sarah keeps reaching into her bag beside her on the arm rest.
“Leo’s mom has my number if she needs to get in touch, you know.”
“How did I ever survive without you?” Sarah moans as the technician eases her fingers into the soles of her feet. “You got in late last night.”
Holly’s pulse quickens. “Did I wake you?”
Sarah shakes her head. “Barely. For once, I went right back to sleep. My comment was just an observation, not a judgment.”
If she had a mother, Holly assumes this is what the conversation would be like. Gentle, continuous reminders that she’s open to listen, but without pressure to spill everything. So she gives Sarah what she wants. “It was nice to see some friends again.”
“And Alexis? You said she was going, too.”
“Yeah,” Holly says. She counts to three, so the next question won’t be obvious. “I guess it was good to have an escape for a night and not worry where I’m going to live in the future.”
Holly looks down and waits for this to sink in, for Sarah to tell her that she and Daniel were discussing just that before he went to work this morning.
“Oh, Holly. I know you’re going through a lot. So much uncertainty.”
Holly looks up to see Sarah, who seems mortified, biting her lip.
“Do you need money? If you do, you can tell me.”
“No!” Holly says. “You’re more than generous with my babysitting pay. But I can’t stay rent-free and eat your food for too long. I don’t want to wear out my welcome.” She sips from the cucumber water on the small table next to her chair. “And you’ve got your own family to look after. I’m sure it’s hard on one income.”
She stops there, hoping this will prompt where she wants the conversation to go, but Sarah merely closes her eyes as the technician lathers a salt scrub on her legs, making it hard to gauge how Holly’s comment has landed.
Sarah opens her eyes, turning to Holly. “Do you know what you want to do in the fall?” she asks.
What she wants is never to leave the Goldmans’ house. Now that she’s made that clear to Daniel, all he has to do is make it happen. But clearly Daniel hasn’t broached the subject yet, so she makes something up. “I might talk to my psychology professor about working for him and getting a master’s in clinical psych,” she says. It’s a total lie, but it shows initiative.
“You’d make a wonderful psychologist,” Sarah says. “You see into people so well.”
“I see you,” Holly says.
Sarah meets her eye. She clears her throat. “I see you, too.”
Holly swallows hard.
An hour later, their fingers and toes glitter with matching hot-pink polish. At the cashier, Holly takes out her wallet, but Sarah tosses her credit card on the counter. “My treat.”
“But I booked this for you. I’m sure you have enough expenses of your own, no?” Holly says, hoping this time she’ll take the cue.
“Don’t you worry about that,” she says. “Daniel and I are doing just fine. More than fine, actually.” Sarah smiles. “If Daniel can afford the Canyon Club, I can certainly pay for our mani/pedis.”
This is not the behavior of a wife who suspects her husband has plunged them into financial ruin. Sarah really has no clue.
On their drive to pick up Jacob, Sarah sings along to some nineties song on the radio; Holly yearns for the day to end. An idea tickles her mind about how she can help Daniel get out of his debt to Charlie Lang, but it’s not quite fully formed yet. She’s so lost in thought that Sarah’s opened the door, one foot out of the car to head up Leo’s porch steps before Holly realizes. She can’t let Sarah speak to Karen, so she jumps out. “I’ll get Jacob. You stay here.”
“Thanks,” Sarah says, shutting the door and drumming her newly painted nails on the steering wheel.
Holly gets Jacob, waves goodbye to Karen and the sturdy little boy next to her, and takes Jacob’s hand to lead him to the back of the Highlander, where she buckles him into his booster seat.
“Hi, Mommy!”
“Hi, sweetie. How was Leo’s?”
“We made ice cream sundaes!” He licks his lips where chocolate still remains. “I was going to bring some home, but I had to eat it all.”
Sarah chuckles. “Of course you did.”
They drive the three minutes from Leo’s back to the Cliffside house, and when Sarah pulls into the garage, Holly’s both surprised and relieved to see that Daniel’s Audi is already parked there.
Sarah furrows her brow. “That’s weird.” She glances at her watch. “It’s only four fifteen.”
Entering the mudroom from the garage, Sarah calls, “Dan? You here?”
He calls back, “Yeah!” He joins them in the mudroom, and Jacob tackle hugs him. “There’s a golf thing at the Canyon Club tonight, so I ducked out of work early.”
Holly stares at him, but he refuses to meet her eye.
“Daddy! I got chocolate sundaes at Leo’s!”
Daniel kisses Jacob above his top lip. “Yum!”
Jacob giggles. “Can I watch TV?”
“Go ahead, honey,” Sarah says. Once Jacob’s run off, she holds up her fingers to Daniel. “Holly and I got our nails done.”
“Nice.”
He’s still avoiding Holly’s eyes, but that doesn’t stop her from saying, “Sarah and I had a great day. Very relaxing. And we had a good chat.”
Daniel blanches. “What did you chat about?”
Sarah winks at Holly, then says to Daniel, “You wouldn’t understand.”
Holly laughs. “You know, just girly stuff.”
He swallows, and Holly sees how hard he’s working to smile, but a line of sweat has appeared above his lip. She turns to Sarah. “Thanks again for paying for everything today, Sarah,” Holly says pointedly, while looking at Daniel. “You really didn’t have to.”
Daniel winces.
“It was absolutely my pleasure.” Sarah touches Daniel’s arm. “Are you home for dinner?”
“I can’t. The event is a dinner, too. A networking thing.”
“I thought you said it was a golf thing,” Sarah says.
His neck, right above the collar, reddens slightly. “Yes, a networking event for all the newest members of the golf club.”
“Okay, well, can you at least unload the dishwasher before you leave? I wouldn’t mind lying down for a little bit.”
Daniel looks like he’s about to refuse, but Holly catches his eye, gives a little nod.
“Sure.” He kisses her cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.” And Sarah disappears up the stairs, leaving Holly and Daniel alone.
“I’ll help you unload,” Holly says loudly, in case Sarah’s listening.
Together they head for the kitchen, where Daniel opens the dishwasher, then leans against the counter. “I can’t talk to you about last night, Holly,” he whispers roughly.
“But you have to. I’m the only person you can talk to about it.”
He shakes his head. “No. I’m begging you to stop involving yourself.”
Holly steps closer. “You need me, Daniel. I’ll make everything better for you.”
He eyes her warily. “What are you talking about?”
She’s still formulating her strategy. “All in good time. I just need you to understand that I belong here, Daniel.”
He looks speechless, so she makes it clear. “I’m making a plan.”
“To do what?”
“To get you out of debt.”
The footsteps are right behind her before she has a chance to move back from Daniel, for him to clear the nervous shock on his face.
“Hey,” says Sarah as she walks into the room. “What are you two whispering about in here?”
Holly and Daniel jump apart. What has Sarah heard? Her head cocks to the side as she looks from her husband to Holly and back again.
No, Holly thinks to herself as she takes in the suspicion on Sarah’s face. It’s not what you think. I swear.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE SARAH
Now
I run so fast down Blossom Court Boulevard toward the ambulance parked at the curb in front of Jacob’s school that I nearly trip over a crack in the sidewalk. The ominous children’s rhyme about a mother’s broken back rings through my head as I look frantically for Jacob, my heart beating so rapidly I’m gasping for breath. A cacophonous swarm of parents and kids surround the ambulance. I can’t see through the crush of people to find out if the stretcher carries a child or an adult; male or female.
Jacob’s not with his class, who are in a line against the brick wall opposite the playground. Valerie Martin, his teacher, is not with them, either.
The worst scenarios flash in my mind—Jacob hit his head; he fell off the climber; he tumbled down the stairs—when I’m sure I see someone lurk in the large cluster of trees adjacent to the school.
I catch a flash of tan, like Ezra’s omnipresent pants.
I push through the crowd of parents to get to the ambulance when someone touches my back.
“Mrs. Goldman?”
I whirl around. Valerie stands there, with Jacob next to her, quivering.
“Are you hurt?” I drop to my knees to inspect him.
“No. It’s C-Cody.” He sobs, his body shaking, and I look questioningly at his teacher, then at the ambulance just as Tara climbs into the back of it.
Before the doors close, Tara locks eyes with me. Her face hardens like stone, and the ambulance shrieks away.
“I didn’t kill Cody!” Jacob presses his face into my knit sweater, wailing uncontrollably.
My mouth opens in horror. But Valerie shakes her head and touches Jacob’s shoulder. “Cody will be fine. That’s what the EpiPen is for, remember? I gave him medicine, so he’ll be okay.” She straightens and gives me a wan smile. She looks frightened but is trying to hide it for the benefit of my son. “Apparently, Cody ate a chocolate bar that contained peanuts,” Valerie says.
“Oh God. How did it happen? Tara is so careful.”
Jacob is ghostly pale, whispering, “Is he going to die? Is Cody going to die?”
I pull Jacob closer to me. “Honey, he’s going to be fine. We’ll call Tara later to check on him, okay? But they’ll take good care of him at the hospital.” I look again at his poor teacher, who nods.
The stress of everything, how quickly a life-changing threat can occur, undoes me, and I put my face in my hands for a moment. Jacob peels them away, his face pale with fear at my reaction. Valerie kindly, gently, puts her hand on my arm. “It was an accident. Another student gave Cody a piece of a chocolate bar that contained nuts.”
“Mommy, I should have told Cody not to eat it. I’m supposed to be his friend.” Jacob’s tears spill down his cheeks. Valerie pats his back then mouths, “Everything will be okay,” to me before she goes off to talk to other anxious parents.
Jacob’s tears only stop when Emily and Roscoe walk up to the front of the school. Jacob runs and flings himself at the dog, burying his face in his fur.
“What’s going on?” Emily asks, her voice soft with concern. “I came to meet a student for tutoring, and it’s total chaos here.”
I fill her in quickly.
“Oh, that’s awful,” she says. “Tara must be a mess.”
“She was with him in the ambulance,” I say.
“Will Cody be all right?” my son asks as he looks up at Emily.
“Of course he will,” Emily says. “Right, Roscoe?”
Roscoe wags his tail as if on cue, and at long last my son’s tears stop falling.
“Can I walk Roscoe?” Jacob asks in a small voice.
“He’d love that. Why don’t you take him up and down the grass right here?” Emily hands him the leash and points to a neat square of space off school property but not right near the road. Once he’s walking away, she hugs me, quick and firm. “Thought you might need a moment.”
I lower my shoulders and some of the tension I’ve been holding loosens. Emily’s embrace is a comfort to me. I exhale. “What a fucking day.”
She nods. “It sounds like the teacher did all the right things.”
“Yes.” I bring my hands together and hold them to my mouth for a moment, as if in prayer. Then I realize Emily’s looking for someone among the crowd. “Go if you need to. I know you have a student to see.”
“I haven’t spotted him yet. He’s in sixth grade and wanders out slowly.” She smiles. “But you and Jacob probably want to get home. Just have him pass back the leash. It’s all good.”
I do need to get home. There are boxes piled in my front hall, but I don’t know how I can focus on any of that now. All I can think about is the chilling look Tara gave me as she climbed into the back of the ambulance. Plus the fact that I swear I saw Ezra here somewhere. I can’t wait to be inside my house, safe and secure. Then I shudder. Nothing feels safe anymore. But at least Jacob’s not crying now that he’s been given the responsibility of walking Roscoe around. He’s focused on the dog, who’s sniffing a patch of grass outside the school fence.
“Thank you, Emily. Roscoe’s like magic. That dog makes Jacob feel better every time he sees him. I really appreciate you sharing him.”
She smiles. “It’s not all selfless. Roscoe’s a bit hyper, so having the boys’ attention on him helps me catch a break, too.” She waves at someone. “There’s my student. Listen, Jacob’s welcome to play with Roscoe anytime. And if you’re ever looking for a tutor for your son, keep me in mind.”
“You know what? I just might take you up on that. Let me talk to Daniel.”
“Great. I’d better go. Take it easy, all right?”
I call out for Jacob to bring Roscoe to us, and he and the dog trot over. Jacob leans down to kiss the dog on the head, then hands the leash back to Emily.
“You’re very responsible, Jacob.”
He looks happier, his face calmer despite the tear streaks. I can see why Emily has such glowing reviews as a tutor. She’s wonderful with kids.
Emily and Roscoe head into the cluster of students until all I see is blue hair bobbing up and down.
Jacob shuffles to my side. “Will Cody really be okay?”
I tuck his hand in mine. “He’ll be fine. Let’s go home.”
Jacob is quiet all the way to Lilac Lane. I know he’s deep in thought, worried about his friend. I can’t fix this for him, and it kills me. I run my fingers through his silky hair. If anything happened to my son, I’d never survive.
