Save Me, page 16
“You might not believe this, but…I never regretted marrying your father, even though he was a boy my parents picked for me. But I never had the guts to question why they did things the way that they did or why they thought the way that they thought. It was just the way things were done.” She sighed. “The older you got, Ryleigh, I feared that your independence would lead to you being alone. So I got more and more aggressive hoping to prompt you to take more of an interest in finding a nice guy and settling down.”
“Did it ever occur to you to talk to me?” she asked. “I kept telling you over and over how much I hated what you were doing to me and yet you never thought to stop and just have a conversation with me?”
“I realize now that I was hyper-critical of you, but I thought I was doing it out of love.”
“I didn’t see it that way,” Ryleigh told her. “You kept chipping away at my self-esteem until I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin.”
Kate nodded solemnly. “I know that now, and I’m so very sorry.”
For several moments, no one said a word until the silence got to her again.
“I don’t know where we go from here, Mom. You really hurt me and humiliated me. It got to where I didn’t want to even leave the apartment because I never knew who you were going to ambush me with.”
Another nod.
“I wish…” She sighed. “I just wish that you had at least tried to see things from my perspective,” Ryleigh went on. “That you would have put the emphasis on getting to know me and asking what I wanted to make me happy rather than thinking that it was all about finding someone to marry me. I mean…what if I don’t want to get married?”
The shocked look on her mother’s face was almost comical, but now wasn’t the time to laugh.
“Maybe instead of focusing on a wedding that I might not want, you should have been happy to invest in my education. Maybe instead of telling me how to attract a man, you should have been encouraging me to love myself. Because really, how can I possibly love anyone if I don’t even like who I am?”
“Oh, Ryleigh…”
“I needed confidence, not criticism! I needed to know how to take care of myself instead of being treated like I needed to just stay close to home until some guy chose me!”
“You’re right,” Kate said firmly. “You are absolutely right. Your father and I did you a great disservice—mostly me. While Arianna fought her way to go away to school, we didn’t listen when you tried to do the same. I don’t know how to make up for that. I’m not sure if there is anything I can do.”
They all fell quiet again until her sister spoke up.
“You could promise to never fix her up with anyone again and be happy that she’s in a healthy relationship with Ryker…”
There was a moment when Ryleigh was certain her mother was going to argue, but she didn’t.
“I promise. No more fix-ups.”
“Seriously? Just like that?” Ryleigh asked in disbelief.
“Ry! Shut up! You’re winning here!” Ari hissed.
“I’ll admit that Ryker isn’t…anything like the men I was trying to fix you up with,” her mother said stiffly. “But…if you’re happy, then…I’m happy.” Then she paused. “And I have to say, you’ve never looked this happy. You’re positively radiant, so…that’s all that matters.”
“Yay!” Ari cried as she came around the table and hugged them both. “Now we need to toast to this! Let me grab Mom a glass!”
Within minutes, they each had a glass in their hands and Arianna was the one to make the toast.
“To family. We make each other crazy in the best and worst ways, but I think this was an amazing first step to mending a lot of hurt feelings. I love you all and here’s to everyone getting back together.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Ryleigh said, smiling at her mother.
After taking a sip of her wine, Kate looked at her with a serene smile. “You are the most amazing woman I know, and I love you very much. I’m proud of all of your achievements and moving forward, I promise to make sure you know how much you are loved and valued.”
Tears stung Ryleigh’s eyes. “Thanks, Mom.”
“So, what are we making for dinner on Sunday to celebrate?” Ari asked.
Ryker knew he would be sleeping alone that night even before Ryleigh texted to let him know that girls’ night had gotten a little wild. He didn’t want her to rush through her time with her sister, and he didn’t want to show up and put a damper on things. Besides, he had more than enough on his mind and the time alone was really the best thing for him.
Wandering aimlessly around the house, he eventually ended up in his studio and looked around at all the works in progress. Some were for clients, some were for his own amusement and creative outlet, and some were just random stuff he started when he was bored. As he looked around the room, one thing became abundantly clear.
Finish something…
It was easy at the convention. He had a set amount of time with a client and had to finish the art, no matter what. Working with clients was like that. But once you took him out of that setting, he was floundering and surrounded with half-assed drawings, unfinished sketches, and an unopened business.
Shit.
Raking both hands through his hair, Ryker let out a long breath and tried to fight off the anxiety—because yes, that’s what it was—that hit him when he thought about opening the parlor. He knew the tattoo community would have a field day with him if it failed. After all, how pathetic would it be if the guy who won all the awards couldn’t handle having a shop of his own? Of course, some would argue the location and put the blame on that, and they probably wouldn’t be wrong. However, the thought of opening a place in a big city was beyond unappealing.
“So where the hell does that leave me?”
Finish something…
The shop was just one part of the puzzle. There was the art staring him in the face. None of it was a high priority, but he should finish it. Finding a name for the shop if he opened it was something else to be considered, but he had no idea where to even begin with that. But the biggest piece of the puzzle was Ryleigh.
Finish something…
Yeah, he was done playing the fake boyfriend. They hadn’t been around anyone she knew and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing; all he knew was that he couldn’t keep going like this with her. It might have only been a handful of weeks, but he knew how he felt.
He was in love with her.
Hell, he’d been in love with her even before this whole stupid plan of hers. He had to stop being afraid of rocking the boat and say what needed to be said. If he spooked her, then…he’d find a way to un-spook her. If she wanted to bail, he’d convince her to give him a chance. Either way, failure wasn’t an option.
Finish something…
And that was the exact attitude he should have with the shop.
Failure wasn’t an option.
He was a world-famous artist. He’d been holding his own in the tattoo world for over ten years. His waiting list for people looking to have him do their ink or have him come and speak at conferences was two years long. Wouldn’t it just make sense to have a place for people to come so he could start crossing them off the damn list and get the work done?
“What the hell am I waiting for?”
He’d been waiting for someone to kick him in the ass and give him the final push he needed.
He’d needed Ryleigh.
She’d turned his world upside down and showed him it’s okay to be who he was and to take a chance. And starting right now, he was going to put his plan in motion.
Looking around the studio, he walked over to his drafting table and looked at the castle drawing he’d been working on. It seemed like the right one to sit down with and, as he got comfortable and pulled out his pencils, he got to work.
Tomorrow, he’d sit down with Billie and put his business team on a conference call and see what needed to happen to get the shop up and functioning. Then, he was going to make a big Italian dinner for Ryleigh and lay it all out for her—about the business and their relationship.
Failure wasn’t an option and anxiety was suddenly replaced with excitement.
Ryker Masella was coming out of his self-imposed sabbatical and ready to take on the world.
Starting with Ryleigh Donovan.
“Oh my God! What smells so good?” Ryleigh said as she walked in the door and kissed him.
“I told you I was making dinner.”
“I know, but you didn’t say you were making anything that could possibly smell this delicious!” She walked ahead of him to the kitchen and, without even asking, she went right to the stove and took the lid off the pot of sauce. “Holy crap.” Then, glancing over her shoulder, she looked at him in confusion. “If you even dare try to tell me we have to wait until tomorrow to eat this, I may have to strangle you.”
Joining her, Ryker took the lid from her hands and placed it on the counter before grabbing a spoon from the drawer. “For you, baby girl, I am making an exception.” Dipping the spoon in the sauce, he gently blew on it before offering it to her to taste.
Her eyes closed and she hummed deeply before looking up at him. “I don’t think you need to make anything else with that. Just the sauce and some bread to dunk in it and that can be dinner. Seriously.” Taking the spoon from him, she took another taste and made that sound again. “Is there no end to your talents?”
“Not that I can tell,” he teased as he took the spoon out of her hand and replaced the lid on the pot. “Let me get you some wine and then I have some things to show you.” Walking over to the island, he poured them each a glass.
“Sexy things?” she asked, accepting the glass from him.
“No,” he replied before taking a sip. “I’ve actually been busy with a couple of things today and I wanted to share them with you.”
She instantly sobered. “Oh, okay. Now I’m curious.”
Stepping around the island, he took her hand and led her to a part of the house he’d never shown her before. Opening the door off of the living room, he stepped aside and motioned for her to go ahead of him.
Gasping softly, Ryleigh looked over at him. “Your studio?”
“Yup.” Joining her, he took her hand again. “I have an office space over through that doorway and Billie has a smaller one through the door on the other side. This is the common area, but it’s primarily where I sketch things out for clients for myself when I’ve got an idea in my head.” He led her over to the drafting table. “This castle is for a client I’m meeting with next week.”
“I know I watched you work at the convention and yet it still boggles my mind how crazy talented you are. Like…I’m looking at this drawing, but it feels three dimensional and I know it’s going to look that way when you put it on your client.” Looking over at him, her expression was full of wonder. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as artistic as you.”
Again, he was used to the praise, but coming from Ryleigh, it just meant more.
“Billie mentioned something to you that first night you were at the convention and with everything that happened afterwards, I don’t think you even remembered her saying it, but…I wanted you to see this.” He led her into his office and turned on the light, motioning to the easel in the corner.
“Ryker,” she whispered, slowly walking toward it. “It’s me.”
All he could do was nod.
Standing in front of it, her hand over her heart, she looked like she was going to cry.
“Ryleigh, I…please don’t be upset,” he urged, moving to her side and taking the wine glass from her hand. Carefully, he put it on the nearest supply table, along with his own, before facing her again. “I did this a few weeks ago and…and I was thinking about you. It’s like that sometimes. Something comes to mind and won’t leave until I sketch it out.”
Looking up at him, he saw the unshed tears. “You made me look beautiful.” Her words were barely audible, but packed a powerful punch.
“You are beautiful,” he said gruffly, caressing her cheek. His gaze lingered on her face, taking in the slight flush in her cheeks, the glossy pink of her lips, and those green eyes that were far more stunning than all the emeralds in the world. “This is what I see when I look at you, because this is who you are.”
She sighed his name, her cheek resting in his hand. “I don’t even know what to say, Ryker. No one’s ever done anything like this for me before.” Letting out a low laugh, she added, “Hell, no one’s ever told me I’m beautiful. Only you.”
“I am many things, Ryleigh, but I’m not a liar.” His other hand came up to frame her face. “That leads me to something else that I need to tell you.”
“O-kay…”
Suddenly, he felt nervous and unsure of himself.
Was this the right time? Was he prepared for the chance she might reject him?
But as he studied her face, he knew this couldn’t be put off any longer. Even if she told him she didn’t feel the same way, at least he’d be done living in limbo.
“Ryleigh…it’s never been a secret how I’ve felt about you. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were someone I wanted to meet.” Swallowing hard, he continued. “When you kissed me that night in the parking lot, I couldn’t believe my good luck. Then I wanted to curse it because you weren’t coming to me because you truly wanted me. I was just a means to an end.”
“Ryker, I…”
“Please,” he interrupted. “I need to say this.”
Wordlessly, she nodded.
“I went along with your plan because I wanted to spend time with you. I wanted to get to know you and give you a chance to get to know me.” He caressed her cheek again. “And you’re so much more than I ever imagined. But…” He paused briefly. “But I don’t want to pretend anymore. And to be honest, I don’t think either of us has been pretending much lately. Everything I’ve said and done is because I care about you. A lot. And I think if you were being honest with me, you’d tell me you feel more for me than just a guy playing a part.”
She blinked up at him as he held his breath and waited for her to say something.
“I don’t…I don’t know what you’re saying, Ryker,” she murmured.
“Yes, you do,” he countered. “You know exactly what I’m saying. You’re far too brilliant to play dumb with me like that.”
“I’m not sure what to say,” she blurted out, stepping away from him. “Part of the reason this has been going so well is that there’s no pressure, no expectations. What if we go from goofing around to being a real couple and…and…things don’t work out?”
“You don’t think I worry about that too? Hell, I’ve been wanting to have this talk with you for a while now and I’ve been too damn scared because I thought you’d just tell me goodbye!” he shouted. “I can’t keep going on with that kind of pressure, Ryleigh! I already changed who I am once to deal with a difficult part of my life. I don’t want to do that with you. I want you to give us a chance. Give me a chance.”
With a shaky breath, she paced a bit before walking over and picking up her wine. After downing half of it, she met his gaze head on.
“You know that now the stakes are real, right? Like…if we hang out with my family and they disapprove, it could make things awkward with us.”
He nodded. “I’m aware.”
She had already told him about the big breakthrough with her mother last night, and even though everything seemed to be settled, he knew they still had more to overcome.
Plus, he wasn’t an idiot. He’d seen every guy Kate Donovan had brought out for her daughter, and Ryker didn’t resemble any of them. He knew most parents looked at him like he was their worst nightmare, but he also knew he’d do anything for Ryleigh—especially to make her life easier and cause less stress with her family.
Well…he would once he was certain of what she was saying to him.
“So then…you agree? We’re done playing? This thing between us is 100% real?” he prompted and almost sagged with relief when she nodded.
Taking the glass from her hand, he put it back down before hauling her in close and kissing her.
And he swore it was better and sweeter than any kiss they’d ever shared.
Chapter Twelve
For some reason, Ryleigh kept expecting things to be different, but…they weren’t.
She was waiting for her feelings for Ryker to change, but…they didn’t.
But more than anything, she was prepared for people to suddenly come out and voice their disapproval, but…everything was quiet.
It was almost boring how normal her life had suddenly become.
Well…not boring. It could never be boring with Ryker. He was moving forward with opening the tattoo parlor and it was fascinating to watch him change gears from this laid-back and totally chill guy to this completely driven, hyper-focused businessman.
It was totally hot.
After they decided to make things official, he had made her a fantastic dinner of chicken parm with spaghetti and it was quite possibly the best thing she’d ever put in her mouth. He hadn’t been lying when he said how good it was and as much as she loved cooking and knew she was good at it, that one meal almost put her to shame.
After they finished eating, she had told him about being invited to dinner with her family on Sunday, but that never happened. Her father fell and broke his hip, which sent the entire Donovan family into a tizzy; for two weeks, everything was borderline out of control.
Her mother was stressed and spent most of her time at her father’s side tending to him now that he was home. Jamie was running the pub along with Uncle Ronan, and Ryleigh was doing a lot of the cooking to help. The servers who had quit a few weeks ago both came back, but Jamie was also interviewing for more help because with both their parents not being able to work, they definitely needed more hands on deck.
Sadly, she and Jamie were the only ones available. Arianna, Liam, and Patrick all had full-time jobs they couldn’t take time away from, and honestly, none of them knew anything about working the pub beyond doing some grunt work. Patrick came in a few times and helped behind the bar or ran to the bank if they needed it, and Liam came in a couple of nights to help clean the place up. Arianna, however, well…they all agreed that it was safer for her not to help. She had a tendency to drop trays of dishes and break them, she couldn’t cook, and her drinks were always way too strong, so…they only really needed her for moral support.
