Light the Lamp, page 7
“I mean...” Harper looked between the two of them, “you both are. You’re just here,” they waved vaguely, “and the face. Pietr’s got the accent. He’s extremely sweet...” They turned back to the bar, taking a long drink from their cider. “Fuck. Quinton, how about a shot?”
“No way,” Quinton shook his head, “I was given strict orders to never serve you tequila again after that Open Mic night three years ago.”
Misha laughed. “He was right. Ridiculously cute. Adorable when flustered.” He reached over, patting their head. “I approve, Pietr. Excellent choice. If you break up, I call first dibs.”
Pietr noticed the blush beginning to crawl up Harper’s neck.
“Thanks,” he said. “But technically, we aren’t a couple yet. –No, that is not an opening for you, comrade.” He looked down at Harper. “I had a thought earlier. Calling you girlfriend or boyfriend does not work for non-binary. So, what would I call you instead?”
Harper paused, their bottle almost back to their lips again. “I’ve never thought about it.”
“Partner maybe,” Levin suggested. “I think I saw joyfriend used somewhere.”
“Honestly...” Harper looked up at Pietr, “I’d be okay with girlfriend.”
“But you are not girl,” Pietr pressed.
“I love that you respect that, but maybe it would be easier for you,” Harper suggested.
“I don’t want easy for me.” He furrowed his eyebrows.
Misha clapped a hand on Pietr’s shoulder. “I’m going to the washroom. You two can figure this out before I get back. Then we can grab a booth and chat?” He gave him a light pat before walking away.
“Is this an English Second Language thing?” Pietr asked once Misha was out of earshot. “My English is good. I like to learn new words.”
“It’s not that,” Harper insisted. “I’ve been wishy-washy about my pronouns. I like they/them. I do! But...” they sighed, “I also know I’m constantly perceived as female. I’m trying to be more accepting that I can still be non-binary and use she/her and feminine terminology. I don’t owe the world androgyny.”
“No, you don’t,” he agreed. “You said before that you felt like she/her was a lie. It does not feel like a lie now?”
“It feels like less of one.” They shrugged. “Pietr, wouldn’t it be easier for you to be with someone...normal?” They laughed; the hard fake laugh he didn’t like. “Someone who can pretend anyway.”
“Normal is boring.” He brushed the back of his fingers over their cheek. “I like you. The way you are. I don’t want woman-Harper or man-Harper. I want...I want happy Harper.” He leaned back, looking down at them. “If you say that you want to change your pronouns or honorifics, I will do that. I was getting comfortable with the They/Them. If you want to be my girlfriend or my partner or whatever word you want, I would love to be your boyfriend. But, don’t change for me.”
Pietr watched as Harper relaxed. He hadn’t noticed how tense they had become until it disappeared. A smile tugged at their lips as they hooked a leg around his. The tall barstool brought them closer to his height, but he still had a few inches. Harper reached up, taking Pietr’s face in their hands. He let himself be pulled forward to accept and reciprocate the kiss. He felt the pressure that had been building up in his own shoulders dissipate. Words were important, but the feeling that settled in his chest when he saw this person...that was what mattered. Now that he had it, he never wanted to lose it.
He pressed his forehead to theirs with a smile. “What am I calling you now?”
“She/Her,” she requested. “And girlfriend.”
“I will do this,” he agreed. “But you promise to tell me any time it doesn’t feel right.” His knuckles brushed over her temple, then down to tug on her ear. “Good?”
“Promise.” She nodded, then reached for his hand. “The pronoun thing; maybe that’s just between us and close friends for now? It could still be good practice for you, after all.”
He considered that for a moment before he nodded. “I understand, I think. Yes, I can do that. I am happy to.” He kissed her again.
There was the sound of a throat clearing as Misha reappeared.
“So, you two figured out your shit?” He asked.
“Da. Harper is now girlfriend, so off limits to you,” Pietr teased. “You will continue to use they/them pronouns until future notice.”
“Understood. Should we get some drinks and go chat?” Misha asked. “I can tell Harper about how you got drunk after we won against Iceland and got punched by a tiny Chinese Grandma after you almost threw up in her bag.”
“Oh no,” Pietr sighed, “I wanted to see Harper fangirl. I did not think about how this could be bad for me...”
Harper laughed, turning toward the bar again. “Hey Quinton?”
“Yeah, doll?” Quinton moseyed down to them again after serving up another beer to the patrons a few barstools down from them.
“Kitchen open?”
“Sure is.”
“Can we get a double order of mozz sticks and a...” they looked at the two of them, “a large Four Meat pizza on the gluten free crust? Is that okay with you two?”
“That sounds great,” Misha said. “Although I’d be fine with a regular crust, unless you have a preference for the gluten-free, Harper?”
“No,” they shook their head. “I was thinking it was a little on the healthier side.”
“One night of cheating on our diets isn’t going to kill us,” Pietr assured her. “Regular crust is good with me too, Quinton. Thank you.”
An hour later, Misha leaned back in his seat with a sigh.
“That was delicious, the conversation has been wonderful, but I’ve got to get back to my hotel for lights out,” he declared. He smiled at Harper. “It has been a pleasure meeting you, Harper. I hope we can do this again. Maybe just the two of us next time.” He winked.
Pietr saw a blush creep up Harper’s neck again. It didn’t even occur to him to be mad about his friend flirting with his new girlfriend in front of him. He reached up, squeezing the back of Harper’s neck lightly.
“Thanks for coming out, Meesh. Maybe we can try to do this again the next time you’re in town?”
“That would be fun,” Misha agreed. “Goodnight, comrade. Harper. See you later.”
The pair waved him off, and Pietr turned to Harper. He moved his hand from her neck to drape his arm over her shoulder.
“Okay. We leave now?”
“We don’t have to. Adam has been glowering over at us all night if you wanted to go talk to him. And I see a couple of the other guys here too tonight.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I want to take you home. Get you into my giant bed, kiss you, and find out what kind of sounds you make. One of them is bound to be even better than your laugh.”
“Just kiss me?” Harper bit her bottom lip between her teeth. He knew she was teasing him. Hard.
“Anything I do with my mouth should be considered kissing.” He leaned forward, nuzzling the side of her face. “You will find out soon. Yeah?” He let a hand slide down her arm to link their fingers together. He felt a vibration thrumming through her. “You are nervous?”
“Yes,” she admitted, “but I still want to. It’s...are you sure you want to call me your girlfriend before we...” She let herself trail off.
“You mean, what if sex is bad? You think I wouldn’t want to see you anymore?”
“Maybe.”
“Sex is a skill,” he said. “We both have had experiences with other people, da?” A sly way of asking if she was still a virgin.
“Yes,” she answered. “But...my experience is from a decade ago.”
“I will make it extra worth your waiting then.”
The blush deepened her cheeks. Pietr felt excitement and want stirring within him.
“I am very excited to finally make love to you.” He didn’t hesitate in saying it. Every word was true.
“Oh my god, hush!” She covered her face.
“You do not feel same?” He feigned a hurt voice. “I know some of my promo shots don’t leave a lot to the imagination, but there is still plenty—”
Harper drank the last of her cider, setting the empty bottle on the table with a wide eyed stare. “We’re in public.”
“No one is listening to us. If they are, they are the rude ones.”
“Come on.” She nudged him to get out of the booth. “Let’s get out of here before I get so embarrassed I literally start on fire.”
“That is not the proper use of literally,” he said. “As a writer, you should be more careful with your words.”
She waited until he’d moved enough to let her stand. She took the front of his jacket lapels, tugging him down for a kiss.
“Take me back to your place already so we can get this out of your system.”
“Out of my system?” He repeated. “Harper, darling, you are like the vaccine to a virus. While the loneliness will disappear, you will be with me for a very long time.”
Harper patted his shoulder. “We’ll work on your metaphors.” She picked up the messenger bag she’d had with her and tossed it over her shoulder. “Are you walking distance or do we need a rideshare?”
“It’s walkable,” he said. “But a car would be faster.”
“Your call,” she declared. “You decide while I go close our tab.”
“I can do that,” he said.
“You don’t have to treat me every time we go out,” Harper said. “Plus, I’m the one who ordered food. Don’t worry about it.”
Pietr pulled out his phone. The decision was an easy one –rideshare. The food had given him a second wind, but it was going to wear out. He wanted to enjoy as much time with Harper as he could before he crashed for the night. It didn’t take long for Harper to come back, looking a little bemused.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking up from the ride ETA.
“Misha paid the bill.”
Pietr laughed. “That was sweet of him.”
“He also left his phone number with Quinton for me.” She waved a copy of the receipt at him.
“I tried to tell you that we had very similar taste.” Pietr leaned down, kissing her again. He plucked the receipt out of her hand. “At some point, in the future, maybe we discuss it, but for now, I would like to be keeping you to myself. If you really need his number for some reason, I can give it to you at that time.” He shoved the receipt into his pocket. Harper laughed.
“I don’t think I can handle you, much less you and Misha Levin,” Harper said. “Did you make a decision about walking versus car?”
“Car will be here in a minute,” Pietr responded. “It’s a warm night. Let’s go wait outside.”
Chapter Twelve
“Holy fucking shit!”
“I’ve said it before, but I love when you curse.”
Pietr took Harper’s messenger bag. It had taken him a minute to realize that she’d had the forethought to pack an overnight bag. So smart, his girlfriend. He kicked off his shoes near the door before taking her bag to set it on the kitchen island.
“This is fucking huge.” Harper didn’t answer, staring around the apartment. Pietr did the same, as though he were seeing it for the first time.
He had only been in the place for about a month. It didn’t feel very lived in. Not the more public rooms anyway. His bedroom had a warmer feel, with art on the walls that he liked. The main area; the kitchen, living, and dining areas were still a clean cream colored paint with basic artwork that had been in the apartment when he’d arrived. Someone from the Osprey had helped him find the place quickly and gotten most of the furnishings installed between him being traded and his actual arrival for training camp.
“It is big, yes, but not very homey,” he admitted. “Do you want a drink? Something to eat? Or should I show you directly to the bedroom?”
Harper’s tongue appeared, licking her bottom lip. “Before that, I feel like I should warn you about a couple of things.”
“Warn me?” He folded his hands on top of the island, looking at her. He was sure whatever it was, it was not going to change his mind about what he’d like to do with the rest of their evening.
“It’s been a long time since I had sex,” she admitted. “Ten years. That’s not an exaggeration.”
“You mentioned that before. You are worried you will disappoint me? Or that I will disappoint you?”
“Me, yes. You, not at all.” She came closer, taking a seat on the edge of one of the stools on the opposite side of the island. “I have limited experience. I’ve only slept with one person before. Way back, in my sophomore year of college.”
“One? Only one?” His eyes widened. He found that surprising, of everything she could have told him. “Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“I understand not having sex for a long time and my number isn’t huge either. You have moved to a new city, you’ve dealt with your identity and dysphoria.” That had been a new word she’d taught him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt it himself, but he tried his best to understand. “You are so wonderful. You should be beating off people with sticks.”
“Pietr, you’re so sweet, but we both know I’m not pretty. In a conventional way. People view me as friend material. I’m not in anyone’s sexual fantasies.”
“You have featured in several of mine this last week.” He furrowed his brow with concern. “You don’t have confidence, but you talked to me so easily.”
“You took me off-guard. I wasn’t thinking that you were seriously into me. Part of me still isn’t sure. For all I know, you’re using me because I’m being naïve.”
Pietr felt a chill flood over him. He watched Harper shift, uncomfortable in her honesty. “I would not. Ever.”
“I want to believe you.”
He stepped back from the island, needing to move. Needing to put more safe space between them. To keep from coming around the granite slab to fireman carry her into his bed and prove to her how much he wanted her.
“You don’t trust me? In my intentions?” He finally asked. “Even when I say I want you to be my girlfriend?”
“I’m hesitant,” she clarified. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. You’re a person in the public eye. You wouldn’t do anything that would—”
“Stop,” he cut her off.
Harper’s lips pressed into a line. She averted her eyes down, staring at the countertop.
“I move too quickly. Is that it? In my life, everything has always moved fast. It had to. I feel like we’ve spent a lot of time together. Getting to know each other. We’ve been texting all day. We had a few dates. I met your friends. Is that not enough? We, you, don’t have to be here if you’re not ready.”
“I am.” Her head shot up. She stared back at him earnestly. “I wouldn’t have come if I wasn’t.”
“Okay. As long as you are sure.”
“I’m just nervous,” she stammered. “I don’t want to fuck up.”
“You aren’t fucking up. You’re being honest. That’s a good thing.” Pietr came around the island. He turned her stool, cupping her face in his hands. “I don’t lie or tell a half-truth. When I say that I like you. That I think you are beautiful. I mean every word. You are telling the truth too. You are not what other people would say is sexy. That’s what I like about you. You are unique. Only one like you. You are kind and sweet and...” He kissed her then. Deeper than any of their past kisses. He tried to fill it with as much want and need as he could –without scaring her. It was hard to hold back.
Then he heard it. The moan he had been dreaming about. Different from the one he’d heard Monday night. This one was louder and wanting. Like it had been pent up for too long and begged for release. The sound moved straight from his ears to his heart, then jolted south to his cock. He stopped thinking and shifted to pure instinct. Her jacket was pushed from her shoulders, deposited onto the floor. He had to break the kiss then, looking down at her. Then, he went for it.
“Oof!” She grunted as he bent down, hitching her over his shoulder. “Fuck, Pietr, put me down. I’m way too heavy.”
“I bench press more than you for fun.”
Chapter Thirteen
Pietr gave Harper’s butt a pat as he carried her into his bedroom. He dropped her into the middle of the big Alaskan King bed before he followed, covering her with his body. She let out another moan as his hands moved under the hem of her shirt.
“Tell me now,” he requested. “How do you like to be touched?”
“You can do whatever you want to me.”
He chuckled. “How do you know I am not a psycho? I could do much damage. I am very strong.” He started easing the buttons out of the holes on her shirt.
“I know, but you’ve also been nothing but a gentle giant.”
“Being non-binary,” he spoke gently, “does it affect how you like to be touched?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Tell me if you don’t like,” he urged. Then he tugged her forward pushing the button up off her shoulders. The tank up, over her head, leaving her in a cream-colored compression binder. He stared at it for a second, unsure.
“You want me to take it off?” She asked.
“That is up to you. Do you wear it often?”
“It’s more comfortable than a bra some days,” she explained. “I’m not dysphoric about my chest.”
“Then, please take it off. Probably is not good to fuck in anyway. I could see that being dangerous.” He leaned back to start unbuttoning his own shirt. It hit the floor, followed by his t-shirt. “What?” He looked down at her as he realized she was staring.
“Admiring the view.”
He caught her lips again. “You can do that all you want after I make you cum. Second, maybe third time.” He nipped at her lips, then throat. His voice deepened with an aroused growl. “Take it off.”
Harper’s fingers dug under the hem of the binder. It rolled upward and he was distracted as her chest was freed. Part of him had expected, with her roundness, that her breasts would be larger, but they weren’t more than a good handful. Mango-shaped, he decided. He bent his head, taking her left nipple into his mouth. He tested her with his teeth and massaged the right with his palm. Then looked up at her.
