Goddess's Gift (Get Your Rocks Off Book 4), page 26
How could I not? Liam sang a song about the pain of not being with me. Was it his pain, or all of them? I thought of Luc’s reticence and Jake’s desperation, Billy’s hard, biting words, and Johnno always reaching out a hand, despite knowing it was going to be knocked away. I pulled away from Jake, squirming up from under the table, but he hauled me onto his lap, my dress riding up. The damp fabric of my underwear scraped against his cock, but he thrust up against it, pushing into me slightly.
Was there a better metaphor for our relationship? Transcendent beauty and dirty, fucking sex, all rolled up into one bloody confusing combination that made my head spin. Aen took my hand, her eyes shining like mine were, a single tear falling free. But I couldn’t stay watching her, even if I wanted to. Liam launched into a chorus that repeated my name like a fucking prayer, and he watched me watch him as he sang for me, just me. My own tears fell, making my eyes screw down hard, as if that would stop it. Jake sensed my turmoil, rubbing big circles on my back as his cock strained to get closer to me.
Connection, Lilith said. You chose them. If you rush towards this rather than fighting it constantly, it won’t hurt so much.
But—
The time for but is over. You chose them. I would have suggested others more worthy, less savage, less cruel, but you kept choosing them. So embrace your decision wholeheartedly. These timid little bites of them are not worthy of you or them. They cannot hurt you any more than you let them.
So what? I’m just ‘with’ all eight of them? The idea seemed so ridiculous, a half sob, half snort escaped me.
You already are. You just have to accept it. Embrace it. Embrace them.
I leaned back against Jake slowly, and it felt like I was bending a spine of steel to do so, but something settled when I relaxed against his chest.
“Kira… Kira…” Jake was murmuring the words to the song along with Liam, his lips on my ear so only I’d hear it.
“I love you, Jake,” I said in answer, his hands holding me close in response, sliding up my ribcage, up my thigh.
“I love you, Aen.”
I turned to Aen, who watched my every move like it was the most fascinating, beautiful thing, and reached across to stroke her cheek before I turned to kiss her. I was dumped onto the seat between us, Jake pressing into one side, Aen on the other, my lips alternating between them.
Aen’s kisses were sweet from the sugar and salty from the tears until I sucked her lips clean. Jake’s were tentative at first, like he wasn’t sure he had a place here, and then they were all him—wild, taking everything they could and then just a little more.
“Baby…” he pleaded. “This is backfiring badly. Liam’s giving a fucking performance he’ll never be able to top with this pulsing between us, and…”
“And?”
“And I ache so fucking much. I’m trying to be good, wait my turn, not crowd you, but it’s hurting, Kira. More than even I can stand, and fuck, I’ve taken some beatings. I’d rather have broken ribs than this. I’d rather people—”
I shut him up by crawling back on top of him, but this time, my back was to the band, blocking his view of them. He didn’t need it, he could feel and hear every fucking thing they put into their song. His song, I realised. It wasn’t the crazy beat he’d played back in Billy’s room, but it was part of that. Stripped back, slowed down, that same pattern that kept circling back, to me.
I will shroud you as you take your consorts, Lilith said, the shadows around us deepening. Like a smoke bomb, they obscured us right as my hand slid down his stomach, his chants of my name as I grabbed a hold of his cock. His fingers yanked my knickers to one side, swiping through my seam once, twice, three times before flicking my clit. A surge roared through me, of the way his fingers felt, of his need for me, of my body’s readiness to take him to the root, but there was more. They felt this, all my consorts. That jolt of pure, unadulterated need.
My eyes jerked up to Mark.
“I’ll keep watch,” he said quietly, but somehow, I could still hear him. “You need to be safe here. The black smoke is good. It hides you from your enemies.”
I saw the iron clench of his jaw and nodded.
“Turn around,” Aen said, drawing me after her, Jake’s hands going to my arse when I did and pushing my dress up. Aen caught my gasp when Jake yanked off my underwear.
“Have my way, and you’ll never wear another pair,” he muttered. “Been trying to convince Aragide to dispose of your underwear drawer for days.” He pulled me closer so I could feel his breath on my bare flesh.
“That’s what you want…” I groaned into Aen’s thigh as I felt Jake’s tongue delve in. He didn’t tease or prolong shit. He ate me like I’d never let him do it again and he was determined to keep ahold of my taste, which gave me some ideas. I shoved Aen’s dress up, sending a small tendril of fire to burn her knickers off, then pushed her knees up.
“Goddess, yes…” she breathed as I licked along her seam.
Her folds parted like a flower, so easily, like she’d been waiting for just this. I followed Jake’s lead, my eyes screwing up as I felt him suck hard on my clit, doing the same to her. She squirmed, getting wilder as I groaned into her, then worse when I pushed two fingers in.
“So close…” she panted. “Need this!”
Her voice twined with Liam’s as he sang another song, slightly faster now, the combination a ragged ode to need and desire. Liam sang about all the things he wanted to do, pulling screams of pleasure from the crowd right as Aen did the same, her voice getting higher and higher, her hand pressing my head hard against her right before she exploded.
Her cunt snapped down around my fingers, snatching at them as I kept pushing through her orgasm, until she forced me away. She shook all over, sucking in a breath, but I didn’t get to savour that as Jake pulled me down on him.
“Felt that in my fucking balls. You better be close, baby, or Mark’s gonna have to finish the job.”
I was yanked down on his cock, the thickness of his shaft making me yelp, but I got no chance to adjust. His fingers dug into my hips, pistoning into me before I could even think. Aen went down between our legs, my dress pulled down so my breasts bobbed free. Her fingers went to my nipples, my clit, her lips on mine as Jake drove me mad.
“Goddess, get her there!” Jake cried. “Fucking need to come so much. She’s so wet and hot and sweet.”
Aen dropped down low with a wicked grin on her face and then buried her head between my legs. She flicked my clit with her tongue, raising me up slightly so Jake could keep driving himself into me, the punishing pace making my body go loose with pleasure. This was almost a passive experience. I was skewered by the two of them until my teeth sunk into my bottom lip to hold back my cries.
Coming at the same time as a man can be a wild thing, the pulses of his cum shooting into you, the throb of his dick in time with your own spasms, seeming to push him that much further. I was crying out in great ragged gasps, Jake sobbing into my back as his orgasm subsided. When I collapsed onto the seat, a sensuous languor fell over me, the two of them spreading me out over the couch, my head in Jake’s lap, my feet in Aen’s.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jake groaned. “I fucking needed that so much. I need you so much.” He stroked the hair back from my face as Aen rubbed my legs, and we listened to the show.
Chapter 29
I was up and out of the seat by the time the set ended, yanking my dress back into place. The sound of applause was deafening, hiding Jake and Aen’s protests as I swung up onto my feet, and I felt the slow progress of Jake’s cum down my leg when I did.
It was all just too bloody much. The songs smashed me to pieces and put me back together again. I was living the rock chick dream, having the whole fucking band singing odes to my charms. So why was I running?
You know why, don’t you?
It didn’t matter what I was now, my brain had been riding in a pre-transition body for a helluva lot longer than it had my fae one. A consequence of being ignored so damn much was it made it hard to accept all this attention. At the time, I told myself I needed to get cleaned up and go to the loo, which was true, and that no one would notice anyway.
Well, I didn’t have that last one right.
I was so focussed on putting one foot in front of the other, the heels I’d worn taking all my attention to stay on my feet as I stalked closer to the ladies’, that I didn’t see them coming.
“And where are you off to?”
His voice was hoarse from singing, his arm, when it hooked around my waist, covered in sweat. I staggered, my precarious balance thrown off, but I needn’t have worried. His dark twin stood in front of me, sweeping in, boxing me in close to his brother’s side. And his.
Johnno. Liam.
“Guys, I need to go to the loo.”
“Bull-fucking-shit,” Liam bit the words off.
They hit me like little slaps, my focus entirely on all the points where their bodies touched mine. Liam’s arm digging into my ribs, an iron bar that quivered slightly, the heat of Johnno’s body pressed against me. He reached down with those long, sensitive fingers, hands I could spend days studying for all of their finely wrought bones, but I didn’t. Johnno tipped my chin back, forcing me to meet eyes that roiled, molten bronze.
I gasped. Had he ever looked this fucking naked? What the hell had they done by taking the brakes off tonight? Something a whole lot bigger than hot, hot lust rose in his eyes, and I grit my teeth when something answering did the same in me.
“No.”
Johnno was my first Changeling in real life, Liam my first in my dreams. I was wedged between the two sides of my past with the band, and I fought a gravitational pull that would have winched planets closer.
“You tell me you don’t want this, want Johnno, want me, I’ll let you go,” Liam growled the words into my ear, his teeth grazing the shell of it. “Say it and mean it, because I know the voice of your fears. Tell me you don’t want him. Tell me you don’t want me.”
I forced my lips to move, sucked in a breath to say just that in a way that Liam fucking Hartley would understand. I had them there, just on the tip of my tongue.
But they stayed unsaid, curdling on my tongue until I swallowed them down, tasting bitter. I caught a sidelong glimpse at Liam’s smile when it appeared, then saw an answering one on Jonno’s face.
“C’mon,” Johnno said, grabbing my hand in his, “our girl wants the ladies’.”
The swinging door slammed open, banging against the tiles as they dragged me inside, Liam flicking a hand to create a lock of air that would prevent anyone from coming in. Johnno scanned the stalls and then nodded. “Place is ours.”
“You’re ours.”
I jumped at Liam whispering the words against my ear. I kicked off the damn heels, sick of the fucking things now. They’d taken away my most precious ability and turned me into a stumbling fool. I spun around on my bare feet, feeling the cold tile under them, but Johnno slid up behind me, his breath sending shivers up my spine as he pushed up the bulk of my hair to blow upon my skin. He was laughing when I lurched around to face him, Liam sidling up behind me like the devil himself.
Fingers trailed down my arms, Johnno’s, Liam’s. It was like whatever had gotten into them worked in tandem, one mind, two bodies to torment me. But it wasn’t a torment, was it? Corralled, I was ‘forced’ to just feel, Lilith snickering at that thought. I could have them on their arses in two seconds flat, but I didn’t. My eyes just followed those fingers, one set olive skinned, sporting band-aids around the fingertips, the other paler, like me, but both got the same response. I’d just been pleasured by my loves, caught on the hardness of Jake and the softness of Aen, but my body ignored all of that in the face of what was here.
They seemed to know exactly what to do, just little glancing touches, like you would a horse you were taming, just familiarising me with their feel. But I knew just what they felt like, that came rushing up. Johnno, a dark and golden god in the back of the bus, reciting poems on my flesh, his announcement that he wasn’t a good man a redundancy when I could feel just how bad he was as he thrust into me. He darted in, taking my mouth, sucking the bottom lip but pulling back when I growled, my teeth snapping down on empty air, much to his amusement. Johnno moved with the rolling gait of sailors and cocky men, the broad line of his shoulders tipping up, then down as his eyes raked down me.
“Oh, now you’ve done it. Our Johnno tries so fucking hard to be the good boy, the Hartley you’ll be able to tolerate, but running? He’s a predator, just like me, and nothing gets him harder than prey.”
I turned on him, fangs bared.
“I’m no one’s fucking prey!”
I was jerked back, into those warm, strong arms, Johnno’s lips on my neck.
“Don’t let him bait you.”
“No, you’re fucking not.” Liam’s eyes burned into mine, almost phosphorescent blue now, and it felt like they saw straight through me and into my soul. But I couldn’t see what he saw, because what he did next, in response, baffled me. He dropped down, bending a knee, an awful echo of what had happened when I took him as my consort.
“No,” I said, wanting to prevent his descent, but Johnno held me firm. “No, Liam—”
“Yes,” Johnno said. “I’ve never seen my brother kneel for anyone. Not Rutherglen, not other fae lords, not a fucking soul. He’s had his knees kicked out from under him to make it happen, but to willingly kneel?”
“You’re just doing this to look up my skirt,” I spat, pressing hard against Johnno’s grip.
Liam’s smile was immediate and wicked, beaming up at me from where he was at my feet.
“Baby, I want to do a whole lot more than look.”
His hands went to my dress’ hem, quick as a flash, but then paused. For just a minute, Liam fucking Hartley was a penitent at my feet.
“Please, Kira.”
His voice was ragged with need, making his performance at the club almost inadequate by comparison. His eyes were stark in his face, a big dog with a mouthful of sharp teeth, but expecting a flogging anyway. His fingers shifted restively against my skin, then went to jerk away when my hands slapped down, holding them where they were.
“We can’t hurt you Kira, unless you care,” Johnno said, stroking a hand down my arm. “There’s no need to run unless we frighten you. If we’re really nothing to you, if we mean nothing, all this would be would be an annoyance.” He paused to let his words sink in as his brother shuffled closer, waiting for a confirmation or a denial. “But that’s not what it is, is it? That motherfucking pull, dragging you towards us and us towards you, the ache you embrace because it hurts more to be apart. The ache in here.”
His hand slid down the neckline of my dress, settling on my sternum. I felt it now, the rapid skitter of my heart.
You’ve gotta run with the beat inside you.
“We’re not going anywhere, not leaving you alone while there’s still hope, and that’s what your reactions give us. We feel that thready little pulse,” Johnno’s fingers brushed the inside of my wrist, “hear those gasping little breaths, the blood rushing to the surface of your skin…” His hand slid much more slowly now to one side, until a large palm cupped my breast, groaning when he felt the hard pebble of my nipple. “When we hear that, feel that,” Liam’s lips went to the top of my knee, sending a shiver through me, “it makes us think you want us.” I felt the prickle of his stubble against my skin. “And if you want us, it gives us hope that one day you might…”
I could finish the sentence. We all could. It just hung there in the air, making the brightly lit bathroom seem so much smaller. The pressure built, like an incoming storm, the need to mouth the words making my jaw ache.
“Love us.”
“Love us,” Johnno agreed. “That’s all we’ve fucking ever wanted, Kira. We thought we knew how to make that happen. We didn’t. We’ve got no fucking experience relevant for this task. We’re not good—”
“Men.”
I felt his snort, his smile.
“No, we’re not good men, but we’re yours, Kira. All fucking yours.”
My chest felt so damn heavy, every breath hard work, which was perhaps why they came in great shudders. Johnno pushed one strap down, baring my shoulder, the bodice catching on the swell of my breast, Liam’s lips trailing upwards.
“I-I’m dirty,” I stammered, fighting past the lovely haze of pleasure their touch brought me. “Jake and I, we—”
“Fucked. We know, baby,” Johnno said, kissing the slope of my shoulder. “We felt every second of it as we performed.”
“Felt him burst inside you. Felt your hot little cunt wring everything he’s got out of him,” Liam said.
“And you want to lick that out of me?”
“I want to lick you.” Liam got to his feet, cupping his hand around my jaw and drawing me close so fucking slowly, years passed. I could’ve pulled away, smacked his face, done any number of the things I’d been dreaming of, but now I had the chance? I stared into his eyes and moaned as I felt his brother’s kisses on my skin, his hand shoving my dress down, baring my breast, hissing when his fingers closed around my nipple and tugged. When Liam’s mouth collided with mine, I felt it, the feeling I’d never find anywhere else—of coming home.
I’d lost the one I had, but I’d gained them—my consorts, my partners, my lovers, my home. I might never have a place of my own, but I would always have them. Something inside me snapped tight, settling in, locking them into me. I pulled away from Liam to turn my head and capture Johnno’s lips, Liam’s going to my nipple, and then turned back again to plunder the Lord of Hartley’s lips, taking from him all the fucking kisses I’d been wanting for so long.
“I still want that taste.”
My head was lying back on Johnno’s shoulder, his woody scent drowning me, leaving me lightheaded and pleasantly fuzzy. I looked up at Liam with effort, Johnno dragging my lips back to his as soon as I did.
