A Monster Is Coming, page 18
Climbing over her body, I settled in behind her and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her in close. I’ve already moved the blanket to completely cover her. Niamh didn’t fight me, and I didn’t know if that was a blessing or not. I held onto her, not willing to let her go.
“Did you ever want kids?” Niamh asked.
“No,” I said. “I didn’t think I was ever going to have children.”
“And now?”
“I don’t know, Niamh. I guess that is up to you.”
“He’s given me an out,” Niamh said.
This made me frown. “What?”
“Ivan. He said when all of this is over and my father is no longer a threat, I can leave. I don’t have to stay. He’ll grant me a divorce and we’ll both be free.”
I held onto Niamh and didn’t say a word. The truth was, I didn’t like it. I was married to Niamh. She was my wife and Ivan was giving her a choice. No one else got a fucking choice. I hated it when Ivan told me, but it was now even worse hearing it from Niamh, because I couldn’t help but wonder, did she want to take it?
Slowly, I felt when Niamh had fallen asleep. I waited several minutes and told myself not to go to Ivan and fuck him up, but I just couldn’t let this sit for a moment longer.
I pulled away from Niamh, and waited to make sure I hadn’t woken her. I made my way over to the door, opened, closed it, and then went to my spare bedroom. Ivan was already waiting, the door was open, and I stepped inside.
“Niamh okay?” he asked.
“You gave her a fucking choice?” I asked. I wasn’t going to lead with that, but I didn’t like it.
“In case you didn’t know, Niamh is a very rich woman and she can do or be anything she wants. She doesn’t need you or me, and yes, I have given her a choice. It’s what she deserves.”
I was so fucking pissed off, but I didn’t comment. I couldn’t.
“I want to kill her father,” I said.
“I know.”
“What do you need from him?”
Ivan’s got this look, it’s hard to explain, but it’s that look that says he’s got something planned but he’s not going to tell me what it is exactly, and that was even more irritating.
“For fuck’s sake, Ivan, what more is it going to take for me to prove to you that I’m not here to make waves?” I was past caring about protocol or showing respect. There were no soldiers around.
Ivan was my friend, at least that was the assumption I had.
“Some things are best left unsaid,” Ivan said. “There are plans in place. I need Finn Byrne to be exactly where I need him to be for now.”
And once again I was frustrated.
“You know, if you have a problem with me giving Niamh a choice, which you clearly seem to, maybe it would be in your best interest to give her a reason to make the right choice.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“If you love her, then let her know it.”
“I don’t do love.”
Ivan smiled. “You know, we as men make those excuses all the time, but it’s only when we’re really tested and we finally lose something or someone we love, that we realize how precious it is.”
I stared at Ivan. “Have you lost someone?” I asked.
“Good night, Peter.”
And he moved toward the door, which told me that was all I would get tonight.
Chapter Eighteen
Niamh
I was tired when I woke up the following morning, but I was also happy there was no sign of Peter. I didn’t know why I suddenly cried last night, but I just couldn’t stop it.
It had been years since I last sobbed in that way, and certainly never in front of anyone. I think the last time I had cried like that, had been on my eighteenth birthday. My mom had forgotten, Dad had hit me with his belt, and, well, there had been no cake, no celebration. Just pain and that coldhearted reminder that I was alone in the world.
After going to the bathroom, I fixed a robe around my body and stepped out into the main penthouse, only to come to a pause when I saw Ivan sitting at the dining room table. At first, I was perfectly still.
I’d already seen that I looked a mess in the bathroom. My eyes were still poofy and slightly bloodshot.
“You’re still here,” I said.
“Good morning to you too.”
“I’m sorry.” I noticed a mug already in front of him. “Coffee.”
“I’m already full. There is breakfast waiting for you in the oven.”
“You cook?” I asked.
“Sometimes, but Peter made this for you, and he told me to tell you to eat.”
Peter was trying to take care of me. I thought back to last night—how he walked back into the bedroom and then just wrapped his arms around me, like he didn’t want to let me go. I didn’t want to let him go, not for a second.
Walking into the kitchen, the scent of coffee was too good to resist. One peek in the oven and it looked like baked oatmeal. I got it out of the oven and scooped some into a bowl, before taking a bite. It was delicious with a hint of sweetness, apple, and cinnamon. A favorite of mine.
Loaded up with breakfast and coffee, I was tempted to stay in the kitchen, but I didn’t want Ivan to see me as I attempted to hide.
Stepping back into the main dining room, Ivan was still at the table. He looked so calm, so collected, and underneath that exterior of coolness, a monster was waiting to be unleashed.
“No one knows you were married before, do they?” I asked, knowing I’d already asked this before, but he didn’t give me an answer. I didn’t think he was ever going to give me one.
“No.”
“You don’t want them to know?”
“No.”
I nodded. “What do I do if Peter asks?”
“Simple, you don’t tell him what you know.”
“But that is keeping secrets from my husband.”
Ivan shrugged. “Will he still be your husband for long?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. I took a sip of my coffee and then scooped some of the oatmeal. Like I knew it would be, it was so good. I closed my eyes and savored every bite. “It was good.”
He smiled. “Peter’s a good cook. He learned to fend for himself. He doesn’t like to rely on anyone.”
This made me stop. “He doesn’t?”
“No, relying on anyone else always got people into trouble. You’re aware of some of Peter’s past, I assume?”
“Yes, he told me what his father used to do. How he turned it into a game for him.”
“Peter saw a lot of people he assumed were his brothers or sisters get killed, when in fact, they were just strangers. Lost souls if you will, that fell through the cracks of the system.”
“Is that what you were?” I asked.
Ivan smiled. “No, I wasn’t lost, I was nothing more than trash, tossed out because I wasn’t what my father wanted. I had a stutter.”
“A stutter?”
“Yes.”
“And your father kicked you out?”
“Actually, my father sent me off to be killed, but the guy who was sent to destroy me couldn’t do it. My only problem was a stutter. Probably the biggest mistake that man ever made, because I was young, and I knew in that moment my father was not going to see the last of me, and he didn’t.”
“You rose up.”
“Yes, I rose up, and I made sure he suffered before I took over and created what you see before you now.”
“You’re a rich, powerful, and wealthy man.”
Ivan nodded.
“But you’re not happy,” I said.
He tilted his head toward me. “What makes you say that?”
“Because … you don’t seem it.”
“I am very happy. I have three men who are happily married, having children, and creating an empire.”
I took another bite of my oatmeal. “But you’re not.”
Ivan stared at me. Silence fell between us.
“When I met you in that hospital on the day my mother was getting her stomach pumped, you were the same man you are today. You have the best suits, and you are as dangerous now as you were then. But that day, in that hospital, you died. Your happiness went with it.”
“You speak so bluntly with a man you claim to be so dangerous.”
“You can hurt me,” I said. “I know you can, but after all these years, you didn’t forget me. I’m not claiming you love me or anything like that. I made an impression on you that day. How?” The only reason I was in this penthouse suite, protected, and married to one of his Brigadiers was because of what I did.
“I told you back at the hospital. I was a stranger. You weren’t looking to help me, or to make yourself feel better. You just behaved like a decent human being, and from where I come from, that is rare. I owe you, Niamh.”
I laughed. “You don’t owe me anything.”
He shrugged. “Yes, I do.”
I stared down at my oatmeal. “What was her name?” I asked.
Ivan didn’t say a word.
Finally, I looked up. “I’m not going to claim that I understand what you’re going through, or went through, because I don’t. I lost a baby, and I think last night I suddenly realized what that meant to me, and it scared me. I lost a child, and don’t know if it was a boy or a girl … I think it was too early into the pregnancy to know, but you lost someone you loved. You lost a wife, a woman who meant something to you. You’re not married now either, so she made that much of an impression on you that you haven’t found someone else. Peter doesn’t know. No one else knows, only I do. Wouldn’t you like to talk about her?” she asked.
I waited.
I didn’t even know why I was being nice to Ivan. He sent a man to manipulate me, to get me pregnant.
Finishing my oatmeal and coffee, I got to my feet, about to leave, when Ivan’s voice stopped me.
“She was beautiful,” Ivan said.
I stopped and turned to look at him. I didn’t say a word as he looked at me. There was no sadness or pain, or even guilt. It was like Ivan was completely numb.
“I met her when she was eighteen. I was older than her by ten years,” Ivan said.
I knew he was near his forties now, and she was dead five years ago.
“I had already taken back what was rightfully mine. Killed my father, and was putting my Brigadiers in their rightful places. Everything was going exactly the way I wanted. Then, one day, I parked my car next to hers in a parking lot of a mall. I didn’t even know why I had gone to the mall. Perhaps to pick something up for the woman I was fucking at the time. When I came out, there she was, yelling at my inconsiderate parking.”
There was a smile on his lips and I knew he wasn’t with me in that moment, but back in time, when he first met her.
He hadn’t said her name, and I wasn’t going to push. I couldn’t help but wonder what it must be like. He married a woman in secret—the love of his life—and yet, he lost her and he never told anyone.
“Kaitlyn,” he said.
“Kaitlyn?” I asked.
“That was her name.” This time, he got up, but I felt like he had a lot to say.
“Why haven’t you told anyone else?” I asked.
Ivan stopped. “There is no one else to tell.”
“You have friends. You have Brigadiers. I know they work for you but their loyalty—”
“No one can ever know about this.”
“Why not?”
He didn’t answer. He got to his feet and I knew that meant this conversation was terminated, but I just couldn’t let it go that easily.
“It won’t make her go away,” I said. “The pain is not going to stop.”
He suddenly stopped and turned to look at me. “Be careful.”
It was the first real threat he made toward me.
“What would Kaitlyn want you to do?” I asked, knowing I was already pressing against that precious line.
Ivan took a step toward me, then another. The threat was very much there with every step he took. I didn’t know how I stayed still. I just stood there and looked at him, waiting for whatever he was going to do. I was frozen to the spot.
If this had been my father, I knew pain would be coming. My dad never held back. Ivan stepped right up until I could feel his breath across my face.
“I’m doing what Kaitlyn asked me to do and if you value your life, you will never say her name again. Do not make me regret sharing this with you, Niamh, because although I have given you everything, I can take it away.”
He took a step back, and this time I watched him go.
****
Peter
I did not mind the other Brigadiers being in my territory. At least, I didn’t think I minded, until they arrived at my office with a request. All three of them. Victor was nowhere to be found. Neither were The Beast or The Butcher. However, Slavik, Andrei, and Ive were in my office with a request.
Their wives wanted to get to know Niamh. She was going to be a fellow wife, and they wanted to get to know her. Draw her into their flock.
“No,” I said.
I was not against Niamh having friends, but if what she told me was true, I didn’t see her wanting to stay my wife when she could finally make that decision.
All three men looked at me and then smiled. “Oh, you think we’re asking your permission?” Slavik asked.
“I don’t care what you think you’re asking. Don’t you men have work to do? Territories to return to that are not mine?” It was getting a little crowded and I still had shit I needed to do.
Like, figure out what Ivan needed from Finn Byrne, so I could get it for him, and then rid myself of that bastard for good. Niamh needed to make her choice. I needed Niamh to make her choice, and picking off little bastards around Byrne, while keeping his oldest son captive, was starting to wear a little thin.
Ivan had a list of men who surrounded Byrne, offered him protection, and over the past couple of weeks, we’d been paying them little visits, after which they were dead, and Finn had one less person to protect him.
It would seem over the past twenty years, Finn Byrne had been adding up a load of favors, and then when Ivan came and took over his territory, pushing back, he had called them all in.
Ivan’s territory now didn’t all belong to Finn, just a small part of it. I believed a section was mine, and also a tiny part of Ive’s. Finn had been building his little empire, while Ivan just got bigger faster.
“We’ll be returning very shortly,” Andrei said. “For now, our women would like to get to know your wife.”
I sat back and looked at all three men. Each one was deadly, and together, to many, they probably looked terrifying, but the truth was, I didn’t want to share my wife. Not when my marriage hung in the balance.
Ivan had given each of these men a wife, one they got to keep. Mine had a choice—me or her freedom. I had a feeling she was going to choose her freedom, and I knew on some level I shouldn’t care about that, but I did. I didn’t like that it even meant anything. I didn’t do the whole emotion game.
Niamh was a woman I protected. Then … thought about the baby, my failure.
When The Butcher stormed into my office less than a second later, I’d never been so relieved to see another woman.
“Wow, do you know you guys gossip more than women do?” The Butcher asked.
All three men tensed up.
The Butcher and The Beast were not exactly well received by any of us. Where we all had to pass some kind of test and show our loyalty, the other two had gotten picked out of a hat.
I knew what Ivan was doing.
Even though we knew next to nothing about either The Butcher or The Beast, that didn’t mean Ivan was in the same boat. He never shared his information, he just worked with what he had, and that’s what made him one step ahead of the game. I intended to keep him that way.
The Butcher smiled. “It’s so good to see you boys, looking all grown up.” She winked at the room and then her gaze turned to me. “We’ve got to go.”
I didn’t take orders from her, not in my territory, but if she could get me out of a fucking dinner, then I was more than happy to go. Grabbing my jacket, I nodded at each of the men, and then left the room.
“Do I even want to know what that was about?” The Butcher asked, as we walked to the elevator that would take us to the underground parking.
“Our wives.”
I didn’t think she would understand but at her shrug, I was a little shocked.
“Makes sense. They’re in town for a little bit, why not have all the Bratva wives get together? They’re all close, or at least they try to be, seeing as they’re all in the same boat.”
“The same boat?” I asked.
“Yeah, wives to Brigadiers. In case you haven’t noticed, that is an intense gig. Death threats, acts of violence, weird, stoic men, who they have to kind of decipher whether they’re loved. You know, you guys.”
“I’m not stoic.”
“Well, you’re not exactly a bundle of fun and joy, are you?” she asked.
The last thing I wanted was to be having a conversation with this woman about my charming personality.
“Do you think Niamh would like to get to know them?”
“Depends, do you think Niamh should get to know them?”
I didn’t want to tell her about her choice. If Niamh made the choice to leave, then no. The less she knew about the Bratva, the better. If she stayed, then the more she became part of my world, the better.
“I don’t know.”
I saw The Butcher roll her eyes. “What is your problem?” I asked.
“I don’t have a problem, but I wish I could be saved from gossiping men, and all the chitchat that seems to be going on around me.” The Butcher stepped forward and pressed the button on the elevator, bringing us to a halt.
“Why?” I asked, tense and ready to grab my gun.
“Have you ever considered taking your head out of your ass, and maybe giving Niamh a reason to not leave?”
