Dreamweaver, page 31
Dayja hardly left me alone those three days. She kept me sane in those endless hours within the dark, relying on my solarband’s light to keep terrible memories at bay. She encouraged me to talk my heart out, until my tongue was dry, and my throat scratched. I babbled about anything and everything I could think of. I told her about the good and the bad, the memories that I cherished and the ones that I wish I could scrub from my mind.
I even confessed to her what I hadn’t dared to voice aloud yet.
“I think I might know who the other half of the duality is.”
She fumbled the sewing needle she held in surprise. She was trying to patch a hole in the knee of her pants and sort of succeeding. “Really? Who? How do you know?”
“I think that it might be Dane.” As her eyebrows rose, I plowed on clumsily, “The first time that I was able to change a nightmare, he was there. And after that, almost all the times after that, I used him as a way to anchor myself, to help me. It could also be why Wretch was so keen on capturing him. Wretch may have known long before I did.”
“It would also mean that it’s more important now than ever that he be freed. But En, if he is the second part, then how do you actually make the Dichotomy happen?”
“I don’t know. I’m counting on the last memory I find to help me discover that.” If the answer wasn’t there, I wasn’t sure what I would do. Keep fumbling my way forward through the dark, I suppose.
I was yanked from my despair as Dayja caught me off guard, encircling me with her arms. There wasn’t really anything either of us could say to help each other to not fret so much, to not try and buckle beneath worry that was trying to crush us to powder.
So, I simply hugged her back.
When the time finally came to pack everything into the solarcars and bundle ourselves in too, I was a mess of overwrought nerves and coiling tension that was struggling to burst free. The moon was starting to wane again, hiding behind a heavy shroud of nimbus clouds. It had been raining hard for the majority of the day, swelling the waterfall that tossed itself over the cliff edge and pummeled into the basin below.
Anessa sat with a stony expression, gripping the solargun she had been handed without reaction. Dayja took her own gun a bit squeamishly, but accepted it, nonetheless. I had tried to convince the two of them to wait behind, but they had put a quick end to that discussion. When they joined forces, they were formidable.
As we drove through the night, covering miles without headlights or transmissions between other vehicles in the convoy, it was difficult for me not to feel like I was leading them towards calamity. Cold sweat covered my skin and I had to wipe my palms a few times to keep a firm grip on my weapon.
But I knew, at least for me, there was no turning back.
The salty smell of the Doest Sea permeated through the air a few miles before we reached our target. Dawn was a couple hours away, purpling the horizon with a faint suggestion of what was to come. A thick metal wall encased the access road to the seaport, with sharp spikes sprouting along the top in three rows and surveillance drones humming along like malicious, gigantic wasps. Autoguns stuck out through notches along the wall’s length.
My pulse was a clipped rhythm, one that left my entire body thrumming with fear. Crouching behind the sandy bluffs scattered before the gate, I rubbed at my right leg. It was cramping abominably.
“Remember your assignment,” Treau instructed in a whisper through the link on our solarbands. “Strike hard and fast and make it loud. On my mark.”
I squeezed Dayja’s hand in mine so tightly I lost feeling.
“Now!”
The first squad of five advanced at a run from their hiding place. Fuses spat red sparks as they lit them before throwing them headlong. Most met their mark, colliding into the sentry drones, knocking them from the air before the fuses met the end of their wicks and the detonators went off. Metal screeched under the impact, shrapnel pinging off in all directions.
The autoguns swiveled, plastering the sand with bolts, and the first squad retreated. A second round of detonators was already in the air.
As shouts rang out, an alarm blaring through the night, the second squad took aim from their location on a ridge. Lights popped as they began shooting at the dark figures starting to swarm the inside of the wall, peering out through the hatches. Shots ricocheted off the metal sheeting, spiraling like dizzy fireworks through the air.
We weren’t going for subtly or finesse. We were going for unmistakably manifest.
The first squad took cover as the second detonation created massive creases through the metal entrance. It sagged, bolts ripping from their places under the mass of the gate. An opening. That was all we needed.
Under the cover of the second squad, the first was joined by the third, and all pelted for the entrance, arms and legs pumping. I watched as Anessa, part of the third squad, leaped forward, shots ringing out around her. Her expression promised retribution and death.
“Go!” Treau’s voice crackled at me from my solarband.
I launched into action, Dayja right behind me. A brawl had overtaken the gateway as guards spilled in from the wall through archways at its base. The noise of the furious struggle filled my head as I ran; incensed screams and squeals of pain and flesh splitting open and shot after shot booming out. Shards of metal littered the sand, shining mockingly, razor sharp. Smoke bulged from the inside of the wall where the second squad had fired bombs, swelling skyward in a black funnel.
As Treau had ordered, they created chaos.
And I had to use it to my advantage.
My leg protested as I sprinted across the sand, but I didn’t have a moment to think about it. As I hurtled over the broken gate, I spun on landing, ducking under a shot. I clipped the butt of my solargun into the guard’s chin, sending him reeling back, before slamming it home on his temple. He fell, boneless, and I jumped over him to engage the next person in my way. Dayja was close behind me, fighting to stay near and keep pace.
I reached the other side of the wall, barely able to hear the crash of the ocean’s waves against the shoreline from the tumult around me. Coughing my way through a thick film of smoke, I barreled down the road. Ahead, in the dark waters, ships were moored, glinting softly in the moonlight. Alarms were ringing clear down through the wharfs, and solarlights illuminating the docks showed crowds of guards running up the planks to reinforce the wall.
With no time to try and catch my breath, I ran for it.
Down the causeway, onto the black sand. The fire had spread, howling its way through the wall’s interior. Screams rent through the night as those who were trapped inside burned to death. I shot anyone who tried to stop me, leaving their bodies strewn like broken marionettes. I stuck as close as I could to the spattering of pock-marked rocks that lined the coast. White shells kicked out from underfoot. From what I could recall, the cove that I needed was still a good distance down the shoreline.
Then an earsplitting crack made me reel, clapping my hands to my ears as I lost my balance and fell. Darting back up, hauling on Dayja to stand as well, I looked towards the noise and my heart plummeted at the sight of the wall’s sheeting lowering, creating a ramp down onto the sand. And striding down the ramp was a hulking solarbot. It lifted its two arms, guns mounted to each, and fired.
A bolt bigger than a car seared through the air, bursting in a cascade of embers and debris at the entrance. Screams erupted with it as bodies were tossed aside like ragdolls. I gawked in horror.
“They’re shooting their own comrades,” Dayja panted in disbelief.
“They don’t care as long as they stop us,” I said grimly. I shoved her down behind our rock shelter again as the bot fired again. The air smelled bitterly of ozone as the shot flew past.
“That’s going to kill everyone if we don’t stop it.” I sat back on my haunches, jamming my gun upright in the sand.
“What are you doing?” Dayja asked as I began to work on the laces of my right boot. She set her gun to her shoulder and aimed as a guard spotted us, firing, and the woman spun as she went down.
“This,” I said, ripping my brace from my leg, buckles dangling. “Stay put!” Without bothering to jam my boot back on, I snatched up my solargun and began to run, ignoring Dayja as she cried out after me.
I was forced to bellyflop to the sand as the solarbot sent a third shot out, obliterating a chunk of the wall itself as it hit. Scrambling back up, my lungs searing from the heat emanating off of it, I dashed beneath one of its outstretched arms. Sweat plastered my clothes to me.
Autoguns swiveled my way as they sensed me. I crouched behind one of the solarbot’s massive legs as shots zipped about. I could feel my heartbeat in my fingertips.
With a grunt of effort, I leaped upward, clawing my way up the bot’s leg. Wrapping my arms around one of its arms, I jammed my brace into its shoulder socket. Sparks shot everywhere as the hinge unlocked. Then I hauled with every ounce of strength I had.
The arm swung around as it loaded another bolt, the metal boiling hot against my skin. I screamed with pain but didn’t let go, dragging it around.
The bolt released, crashing into the south side of the wall. It decimated the metal structure, leaving a smoking crater behind that stunk of burning metal.
As the solarbot struggled to right itself, but was unable to, I let myself drop to the sand, completely winded. My arms throbbed hideously, and a quick glance showed me blisters had formed along their length.
“Enea!”
I jumped to my feet and hightailed it out of there.
Time slipped away as we raced for dear life down the coast. Dayja wrapped an arm around my waist, helping me along as I limped, gasping as my right leg burned. As the melee behind us grew more and more distant, I let myself begin to hope that I might actually make it.
“There.” I pointed towards the left, where a cliff face was lapped by waves breaking across its jagged edges. We struggled towards it, muscles burning with fatigue. As the cavern loomed nearer, water splashed around us, frigidly cold.
The noise of the battle became muffled as we stepped into the cavern. It bowed over us as we went further, the ground sloping downward, deepening the water. I halted as it drenched my calves. Each breath settled the smell of silt and ancient stone into my lungs.
“It’s got to be here,” I said. My words echoed around, drilling into my skull. Dayja fought to keep both of our balance as the water tugged at us. “This is the place I saw in the memory.”
“Okay, then it’s here.” Dayja shifted her hold on me. “You’re right, it’s got to be.”
I cast my mind back over the prior wells I had found, raking through the memories. Stone and air. Stone and air and water.
It donned on me, and I stilled.
“I’ve got to go down,” I said softly. “Stone came, then I was falling, and then I went under.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve got to swim down. I don’t know how far, but I’ve got to—”
“Are you sure?”
“Hold my glasses for me. Take my jacket too.” I held my remaining boot in my hand, then tossed it aside, letting it disappear with a splash. Turning to her, I startled her as I threw a hug around her, holding her to me so tightly she squeaked. “I love you.”
Then she was the one holding so tightly my ribcage was locked. “I love you so much. Be careful.”
“You too, sis. No, don’t cry. I’ll be back soon. Go find the others, okay? Stay safe.”
“Okay. Okay.”
I forced down my concern for her, blocked out the noise of the battle raging beyond down the shore, and turned back to the water. To the seemingly bottomless black depths before me and the lightless cavern and the task ahead. My entire body shook as I fought to keep at bay the memories of nightmare fragments tearing my way, seeking to destroy me. Taking in a low breath, expanding my lungs as far as they would go, I let it out slowly.
I thought of Dayja, hearing her wade her way back towards the sandy bank. I thought of Anessa, in the thick of the struggle at the gate, and of Cay, who would never open his eyes again, who had traded his life for my sister’s.
“I can do this,” I whispered.
I thought of Aro, how happy he was when he would pull a new batch of goodies from his oven for people to try. I thought of Norie and Kenji and Venny and their willingness to risk their lives to help me, even before they really even knew me.
“I must.”
I thought of Dane. How he smiled. How his hands glowed when he healed. How he laughed. I let the sound fill the inside of my head, buoying me up.
Even as I took another large breath and dove.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I swam, struggling with every stroke. The cold sapped at my strength, making my chest tighten, along with the right side of my body. My arm tried to lock itself to my side and I grimaced as I tried to straighten it out, to keep propelling myself on. My right foot twisted inward and my right leg dragged uselessly, cramping so tightly the spasms of pain shot straight down clear to my shoulder. My lungs were hot coals inside of me, weighing me down, helping me to go further and further.
I kept my eyes clenched shut, knowing there was nothing to see. If I opened them, only darkness would greet me, surrounding me in a bottomless well. And there were nightmares that lurked in the dark. Nightmares that tore at me, bringing pain and terror and helplessness. I didn’t want to be helpless. I never wanted to be helpless ever again.
I can change nightmares, I thought. My lungs were begging for air, and my body felt like it was made of stone, and I kept going down and down into deeper water. I won’t be scared of them anymore. I can change them. I can. I can. I’m strong enough. I’m strong enough!”
I hit the ground.
Bewildered, I lifted my head, finding silver grass beneath my hands. A decrepit well waiting before me.
But no Memorykeeper.
I lifted myself up, surprised to see that I was completely dry. Stumbling a few steps, I glanced around, calling out into the eerie silence, “Hello?”
“Dreamweaver.”
Goosebumps spread over me at the sound of Wretch’s voice. I spun around but saw no one. Then I took a second look at myself, startled.
My skin was orange. Like the skin of a peach or maybe the portending of a sunset.
“You have managed to find the final Well of Memory.”
Swallowing hard, I went still.
“Try to reach it if you can.”
Wind tore in a maelstrom around me, shearing at my clothes, my skin, my hair. Trying to run to the well felt like thousands of hands were pulling at me, trying to slow me down, to make me fall. The silver grass beneath my bare feet turned to dry, yellowed blades.
Strips tore from the world around me, like a page ripping, revealing a horrifying blankness. An empty nothingness.
Straight ahead, an image wavered before me, growing more solid by the moment, with every step. When I realized what I saw, I staggered to a rough halt.
I stood before myself, only, the image that I saw was… it was…
Me but, different.
Me if I were whole.
There were no scars on my sable skin. No inward tilt to my right leg, no brace to cage it. My right arm was loose and free and strong. No glasses framed my eyes. My finger was returned. I was long and lithe and beautiful. There were no empty holes inside of me.
The ground at my feet was starting to peel away.
I stared at the perfect version of myself, entirely dumbstruck. I couldn’t move. It was hard to breathe. It was so hard to breathe.
To be without flaws. What would it feel like to be so unburdened? To be as stunning as Dayja, or as confident as Anessa?
To not battle with myself anymore.
Startling, I took in a gulp of air. The well. I had to get to the well. I bent against the wind, racing on again. It was so close, just out of reach of my outstretched hand. Past the perfect me that lookedback with so much revulsion it made me want to hunker down and cry.
The stone of the well scratched against my hand. The ladle clattered as I drew it from the bucket, splattering my orange skin with its inky water.
“Anointing,” I gasped, tipping it over my head. It covered me like a garland.
I looked into the well.
Pieces came to me, speeding past as quickly as Wretch could work to Unravel the memory I had found. Years unspooled before my view, and I watched as one after another, Dichotomies formed, working to keep essence in balance. Always a growth and a made, a Harvest and a Spin. A give and a yield. Together, it made a completion that kept the world peaceful. Catastrophes were minimized.
The last Dichotomy faced each other, Memorykeeper and Wretch. Their bond ended and Unraveling raged.
“Make it again,” Memorykeeper said, her words hardly more than a thought. “Render.”
The memory fragmented.
Water shrouded me. I fought to reach the surface, my lungs begging for breath. Breaking into the frigid air and dragging it in was superb, making every cell in my body dance. Lightheaded with relief, I struck towards solid ground, gasping and graceless. When sand crunched beneath me, I collapsed and rolled onto my back.
I was alive.
Wiping at the hot tears spilling from my eyes, I got up. I didn’t have time to sit and absorb what I had just seen or to try and massage some respite into my protesting muscles. The others were still out there, fighting to give me time. I had to get back so we could retreat. Did I dare hope that they had subdued the guards and were waiting for me to show up?
I was struck by how quiet it was when I emerged from the cavern. The lapping of the sea waves was the only thing that met my ears as the early morning light swathed the horizon in pale yellow and blue. Dread spiked through me, and I started to run. The trek over the sand was agonizing, physically because my body was spent, and mentally because my terror urged me to go faster, faster, faster, but I couldn’t. Black sand kicked up beneath my heels.
