“You’re too late.” Zev tried to reach for the wall behind him, to brace against it again, but he missed and simply sank to his knees instead. “She’s gone.”

  Chapter 5

  Cas felt as if she had tumbled back into the River Drow, her legs sweeping out from under her, her lungs burning, her shattered heart beating as if trying to escape her chest and all the death surrounding and suffocating her.

  She knelt before Zev, taking one of his hands and squeezing it. His gaze lifted toward hers but fixed on something far beyond her, haunted and unsure—the same way he’d looked at her before she’d disappeared from the battlefield earlier. She swallowed away the dryness in her throat, closing her eyes against the horrifying images of that battle, and she squeezed Zev’s hand harder.

  I can fix this.

  That was the last thing she had said to him before her disappearance. She’d had an idea, a sudden understanding that she hadn’t had time to explain—and she didn’t have time to explain herself now, either. She just had to follow through and finish what she’d started.

  She rose to her feet. Zev didn’t; he seemed to be in a complete trance. She sensed powerful magic approaching, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw the Goddess of Storms drawing near. Elander paused to speak with her.

  So Cas stepped into the house alone.

  She quickly found the room Nessa had been brought to. Laurent sat in the center of a makeshift bed, holding her limp body against him. He made no sound—nothing did. It was as quiet and dark as a crypt.

  Rhea was speechless and still in the nearby corner, mirroring the position her brother had fallen into outside—kneeling with her hands braced against the ground. Even Silverfoot was silent as he caught sight of Cas, though the fox’s eyes flashed brighter as she drew closer. Rhea’s head lifted, her lips parting and her face twisting in a strange combination of sorrow and relief. Rhea didn’t break the deathly silence, either, but Cas could still read what she was clearly thinking, the same thing her brother had said—

  Too late.

  Cas reached for her throat, where the hourglass the Sand Goddess had given her once hung. It was gone, but it had served its purpose, bringing her back to the point in time when she and Elander had met, the point that had triggered her existence in this lifetime, in this body of a queen—an existence that the Dark God and his servant thought they could undo. She had proven them wrong. She was still here.

  And she was not too late.

  She had not traversed timelines and realms to fully embrace herself and her powers only to arrive too late.

  She would fix this.

  Without any more hesitation she stepped toward Laurent and Nessa.

  “Where were you?” Laurent didn’t take his eyes from Nessa’s face as he spoke. His voice was devoid of emotion.

  Cas didn’t reply. She suspected he wouldn’t hear anything she said in that moment, anyway.

  So instead, she closed her eyes and let her power speak for her. She willingly placed herself back in the River Drow, mentally returning to the moment when she’d felt her power surging like never before—when she’d felt Elander reaching for her across the worlds and waves. And then to the moment when the two of them had stood upon the shore, when she swore she’d felt the Goddess of the Sun’s arms wrapping around her.

  A gasp sounded behind her, and Cas realized there were soldiers lining the walls of the room, half-hidden in shadows that the light she was summoning had chased away. She heard what sounded like them dropping to their knees as the power around her grew brighter. She heard whispers about the queen and the goddess; ramblings of confusion and awe as they tried to make sense of what they were seeing—or who.

  She was both, in that moment.

  One intertwined with the other. A queen subjugating one of the most powerful deities of their world. She felt Solatis the same way she had on the shore—like a second body doubling around her own, protecting her. The Giver of Life. Reversing death was beyond all other deities…aside from Solatis.

  So no.

  She was not too late.

  A light touch against her back told her Elander had caught up. As he drew closer, she relaxed further, letting more of the goddess overtake her. Her hands were no longer solely her own as she held them out to Laurent and encouraged him to transfer Nessa to her arms.

  He hesitated for a moment, his eyes slightly wide as they trailed over her body, studying the divine glow that encased it, before he did as she asked.

  Nessa felt lighter than she should have, as if she was fading away even as Cas’s magic enveloped her. Cas pulled her closer. She felt her arms being steadied—by Elander or the goddess, or maybe both—and she forgot about everything outside of the cold, limp bundle she held.

  So cold.

  Cas pressed her forehead to Nessa’s and directed her thoughts toward warmth. She was speaking, though she didn’t know where the words were coming from, or even what they meant—the goddess was overtaking more and more of her. It would have made her panic months ago, but now she was not afraid. She could do this. She was strong enough to channel this power into existence.

  And she was not alone. Every time she started to lose focus, she heard a soft voice calling her name, calling her back—Solatis. Every time she felt her body threatening to crumple under the weight of it all, she felt strong hands steadying her again—Elander.

  The air was warming. Little flecks of golden light floated around them, bursting occasionally. With each burst, another wave of warmth cascaded down. Several of those shimmering flecks settled on Nessa’s skin, and soon, Cas thought she saw color coming back to that cold skin.

  The warmth became sweltering. Cas fought the urge to blink as her eyes watered. The room hummed with power, and everything seemed to be tensing, bracing for—

  Movement.

  Only the tiniest twitch behind Nessa’s eyelids at first. But then she sucked in a tiny breath of the shimmering air, followed by a deeper inhale, and her head shifted closer to Cas’s chest, burrowing deeper into the light and warmth.

  Cas held her for a moment—long enough to make sure these movements didn’t cease—and then she placed her back into Laurent’s waiting arms.

  She took a deep breath, overcome by sudden dizziness. Her exhale seemed to release all the power she had summoned. As the last wisps of it left her, the room shifted and spun faster. Her knees buckled.

  Elander caught her before she hit the ground, and as soon as his protective embrace closed around her, she stopped fighting and let her exhaustion take her away.

  Chapter 6

  Cas opened her eyes to find herself curled up on a stiff mattress. The room around her was intact—untouched by all their battles—and it was high in a tower of some sort, judging by the sliver of distant ground she could see through a small part in the curtains.

  Elander’s hand was wrapped tightly around her own. He was doubled over the bed in an awkward position that suggested he’d fought sleep for as long as he could before it took him anyway—and he could usually last for days without sleeping.

  How long had she been out for?

  She sat up. The blankets shifting and falling off her made only a soft rustling, but this was all it took to make Elander’s eyes pop open.

  “Good morning,” she said.

  “Is it?” He massaged the space between his eyes before looking to the window, to the curtains glowing with the sunrise, to confirm it for himself.

  She clenched the blanket in her hands, rubbing its silk edge between her fingers in a soothing, repetitive motion. “How long have I been asleep?”

  He took a moment to calculate. “Three days, before I fell asleep myself,” he finally settled on, looking back to the window. “The longest three days of my existence.”

  She stilled her hands, bracing herself against the mattress before she said, “And Nessa…”

  “Getting stronger every day.”

  Cas leaned back into the pillows, the weight of her relief unbalancing her.

  Elander regarded her with a solemn look as he ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. “Though now we’re all wondering what sort of strength it took from you, to do what you did.”

  She rubbed a chill from the back of her neck as the images of her latest trials with magic came flooding back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you, to not explain things before I did them, I just…” A sudden influx of energy made her pause, pulling her gaze toward the door.

  It was different from her and Elander’s magic, and she was too groggy to place it immediately. The hairs on her arms rose—only to relax just as quickly. Because although this power was foreign, it didn’t feel hostile. Quite the opposite.

  “Namu, I think,” said Elander.

  The Goddess of Healing appeared in the doorway a moment later.

  Cas stiffened and sat up straighter.

  Without so much as a curt greeting, the goddess moved to the window and threw the curtains completely open. She seemed to be taking inventory of everything outside, her ruddy skin appearing warmer in the sunlight and her long, elegant fingers tapping the sill in a steady rhythm.

  Cas and Elander watched her as she watched the world outside, until finally Cas grew impatient and cleared her throat. “Why are you here? We sent for you weeks ago, and you seemed to have no—”

  The goddess turned and fixed her piercing green eyes on Cas, cutting her off.

  Cas’s head was still spinning from exhaustion; she couldn’t find her words again before the goddess spoke.

  “My servant told me what you did. I was intrigued. It seems Solatis still left a bit of herself in this world, and she’s channeling it through you.” She turned her face back toward the window.

  Cas frowned but held her tongue.

  Better late than never, perhaps.

  The goddess was late, and unexpected, but at least there was nothing hostile in her demeanor, she decided—and Elander seemed to agree.

  “I’ll be right back,” he told her, kissing her forehead before getting to his feet. “I promised I’d let the others know when you woke up. We’ll sort things out together.”

  He left, and Cas sat cross-legged on the bed and continued to watch the Healing Goddess without a word, soaking in the warm power she effortlessly gave off. It was like sitting in a steamy bath, complete with therapeutic scents of jasmine and spice that drifted from the goddess with every move she made. Cas started slipping back toward sleep—until the goddess’s blunt voice broke the silence.

  “Have you figured out the answer to my question yet, Shadowslayer?”

  Cas tried to remember the details of their last encounter, all the questions they’d asked one another…

  Her head only continued to spin.

  Namu fixed another intimidating gaze on her. “I once asked you what you would make of the things that had been given to you. Both the good and the bad.” She moved directly before Cas with only a few long strides. “You’ve come a long way since that moment. Your empire now faces the full wrath of the gods themselves…but you’ve grown stronger, too, haven’t you?”

  Cas let her eyes trail to a patch of sunlight on the floor—long and narrow and tapered at one end, it made her think of a sword. She focused until she felt the pulse of the blade Solatis had granted her, and her gaze shifted to where it had been propped up in a nearby chair.

  “So now I find myself even more curious about the answer,” continued the goddess. “What mark will you leave behind? What will you do now?”

  Instead of replying, Cas climbed from the bed and slowly walked to the window. She braced her arms against the sill and basked in the golden light, even warmer than the goddess’s magic.

  She had grown stronger. Yet she was exhausted as she stared out over the palace grounds, watching the soldiers and servants still picking up the pieces from their latest battle, thinking of all that had been destroyed, and all that still could be before the end. Her tiredness would pass soon enough—it always did—but in that moment, every part of her rebelled at the thought of picking up her sword. She wanted to go back to sleep.

  But perhaps strength was not always about grabbing a sword and brandishing it tirelessly against monsters. Maybe, sometimes, it was standing amongst the rubble. Breathing it in. Being tired but still deciding to take another step, despite not knowing what awaited you on the other side.

  That was what she would do, she thought, turning back to the goddess.

  “The doubt that was in your eyes back then isn’t there any longer,” said Namu. “Good.”

  You must be certain, or the waters won’t carry you—they’ll drown you.

  That was what the Time Goddess had told Cas about the River Drow. And even though she’d survived that river, the weight of its waters still seemed to hover over her.

  Nothing but certainty was allowed now, or else she might still lose herself among the waves.

  She fully met Namu’s intimidating gaze. “I have no doubt about what needs to be done. I can’t rest until Malaphar and his magic are sealed away.” She walked over to the chair that held her sword, her eyes falling to the jeweled emblem embedded in its hilt.

  Before they could finish their conversation, Elander reappeared, followed swiftly by Rhea. Zev appeared soon after his sister, but Laurent remained with Nessa, Cas was told.

  Rhea quickly wrapped Cas in a bone-crushing hug. “Explain yourself,” she demanded as she leaned away. “Where in the world did you go?”

  Cas found herself searching for the Healing Goddess. As intimidating as she was, there was a quiet strength about her that was easy to draw from.

  The goddess nodded encouragingly as their eyes met. Cas felt warmer, more confident. “I had to go back to the beginning.”

  “The beginning?” Rhea repeated.

  “To when Elander and I met—a breaking point in the history of this world, the Goddess of Stars called it.”

  “But why there?”

  “It was something Solatis said when I met her face-to-face at Dawnskeep…something about choice. My choice to love and to live, to embrace it all in spite of the darkness, is part of why she saved me and asked me to carry her sword. So when the Dark God and his court cornered me and told me I’d made the wrong choice, that I needed to undo it, I knew better. I heard Solatis’s voice in my head, and I think I finally understood what she meant that day at Dawnskeep…That the full power she wanted to grant me was only waiting on me to embrace it. To stop being afraid of my past. Obsessed with it. To stop running away. So that is where I went—back to my past, where I chose to set into motion everything that eventually led up to this moment.”

  A hush settled over the group. Even Zev was quiet, contemplating. Elander was watching her closely, a hint of a soft, awed little smile on his lips. Their gazes met, and she found herself unable to look away from him.

  “I had been so afraid that we broke the world,” she said, quietly, “but I had a feeling you and I would be able to put things back together, too. I’m still not sure which—”

  “Both,” the Healing Goddess interjected.

  Everyone tilted their face toward her.

  “For that is the true, dual nature of love, isn’t it?” she said. “A terrible, wonderful force. Nothing can break things so completely. Nothing can heal things so fully. And Solatis and her magic have a duality about them as well—life itself is both a beautiful and a terrible thing.”

  Cas nodded. “If I had not gone back to the past, then this present—this very moment—would not exist…for better or worse.”

  Zev looked around. “And you’re sure this particular lifetime was worth securing through time-travel? Could you not have done some strategic editing while you were bouncing around in that past life?”

  Cas did not hesitate. “Choice. That’s the thing,” she repeated. “It seems impossible for us to carry on after everything that’s happened, I know. That is precisely what Malaphar and the ones that serve him wanted me to believe. If I’d fallen for it, this would all be over—but at what cost? I wouldn’t be here to stand against his evil.” She shook her head to rid it of the grim thought. “We’re here. We’re still alive. And now we have the chance to keep going. To make this present—this lifetime—better. No matter how he and his followers try to erase us, we must keep coming back, stronger than before.”

  She felt the Healing Goddess staring. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the beginning of a pleased smile spreading across the deity’s face, and a new feeling buzzed in Cas’s chest. Confidence—or pride, even.

  She had finally given a full answer to the question that goddess had posed.

  She picked up her sword and twisted it about as she considered her next words. The blade felt lighter than ever.

  “A word of caution, if I could…” said the goddess, back to her usual matter-of-fact demeanor. “You may be more powerful than ever at the moment, but that power will only take you so far. It is a finite source now that the Sun Goddess is sealed out of this world.”

  “Is there no way to expand this source?” Rhea asked. “Casia can channel Solatis’s power better than any being in existence, and with Elander’s help—”

  “But they cannot create it. Not even the Marr can do that. It will be a gradual decline as time goes by, now that the initial chaos of the Sun Goddess’s sealing has passed. Granted, Solatis scattered points of her power around before she left—in pieces, such as Casia and the sword she carries—so she is still able to reach us through those as well. But I wouldn’t count on those things lasting, either.”

  The already somber mood in the room grew deeper. Cas could hardly breathe beneath the weight settling on her shoulders.

  “I’ve been dealing with it myself over the past decade,” continued the goddess, “ever since my own upper-god was weakened and violently ousted from this realm. Every time I use my magic here, I feel the well of it draining. It no longer refills. It’s only a matter of time before it’s gone completely.”

  “Is the same thing not happening to the other Marr in your court?” Zev asked.

 

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